by Nathan Jones
He was so certain that the two girls would be long gone, and so caught up in his own borderline self pity, that he jumped a foot at the sound of a shout from behind him.
“Kid? Oh my gosh Kid, Kid!”
Pete reflexively turned at the sound of his old, less than appreciated nickname. He was expecting the words to be directed at some child, probably one wandering into danger.
Instead he saw a young woman in her late teens wearing plain, heavy duty laborer's clothes, who was setting down a heavy laundry bag so she could wave furiously. She had light brown hair streaked with blond in a braid down to her waist, which waved along with her arms, and a brilliant smile lit up her gorgeous features.
She was looking right at him in clear recognition, but he had no idea who she was. One of Kathleen's friends from years ago, maybe?
If that wasn't enough to throw him off, the girl then abandoned her laundry and bolted over to throw her arms around him. “You're still alive!” she said, green eyes dancing with joy as she stared up at him. She almost looked on the point of tears. “This is amazing!”
It was the tears that did it, as a younger version of that crying face floated through his memory. Pete jerked as if struck by lightning, arms instinctively coming up to wrap around her. “Lily?” he said in disbelief.
It really was her. In his halfhearted search for memories from five years ago he'd been looking for the same little girl he'd known then. And it didn't help that most kids' faces became leaner as they matured, while Lily's features were actually rounder and fuller than the gaunt, pale face he remembered.
And he couldn't help but notice that while the young woman was still petite and slender, the rest of her had also filled out; she had clearly grown up since he saw her last. It seemed impossible to believe this could be the same terrified child he'd carried from Lost Home so long ago.
And still cleaning laundry in Lafayette. He was sure she would've found her way to better things than doing laundry in a military camp by now, and the old guilt about being forced to abandon her struck again. “I can't believe you're still here.”
Lily didn't seem to notice his guilt or resent the years he'd been away. She nodded, half laughing as a single tear slipped down her cheek. “Still working every summer and spending the winters with Kathy's family at their farm.” She abruptly pulled away, looking torn in a dozen directions at once in her eagerness. “Oh, she's going to freak out when she hears you're back!” Then her smile faltered. “That is . . . you are back, aren't you?”
Pete nodded. “Yeah, we just transferred into the 103rd.” Belatedly he remembered his companions and turned. “Oh, right. This is my friend Jack Porter and our new squad mate Jimmy Montgomery. Guys, Lily Adams.”
“Hey guys,” Lily said, giving them an easy grin. She obviously wasn't shy around men or soldiers.
“Good to meet you,” Jack replied, grinning back. He transferred that grin to Pete and nudged Monty. “We were just about to ditch this bum, why don't you take him off our hands?”
The young woman laughed. “I'm sure you were. Unfortunately I'm working right now.” She rested a hand on Pete's arm. “Hey, I'm off at five. Why don't you come by then and I'll give you a tour of town? We can visit Kathy and Bryce while we're at it, too!”
Pete had involuntarily stiffened with dread at the prospect of seeing Kathleen. But a different emotion flooded him at hearing she was with someone. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised after five years, and certainly shouldn't feel anything like jealousy, resentment, or loss. But there it was.
“Sure,” he said, forcing a smile. “It'll be good to catch up.” He stepped back, looking her over. “I still can't believe how much you've grown.”
He could've sworn Lily blushed at that. “You think so?” she glanced down at herself. “It doesn't feel like it. I feel like I look the same as I did when I was a kid.”
“You're the only one,” Jack said.
Pete shot his friend a glare, but the young woman just laughed. “See you later,” she said, turning and practically skipping back to her bag of laundry.
In that energy and exuberance Pete again saw the girl he'd known her as five years ago. It was incredible to see how she'd changed, but in many ways was still the same. He was happy that she'd done okay while he was gone.
His companions were also watching Lily leave, although their thoughts seemed to have taken a different direction. “Dude, that chick totally wants to jump your bones,” Monty said.
Pete recoiled at the jarring contrast between his own thoughts and the young private's statement. “What?” he demanded harshly.
His new squad mate flinched back at his tone, smile fading. “I didn't-I mean, it's pretty obvious, man. You see how she looked at you?”
He hadn't seen that at all. “I saved her from a slave camp five years ago when she was a kid,” he growled. “I tried to take care of her the best I could until I was forced to transfer up north. She's like my little sister.”
Now Monty looked even more uncomfortable. “Oh. I had no idea, Corp. Sorry. She's pretty cute is all I meant.”
Pete wasn't about to let the young man off the hook. “Not to you she isn't, if you had any ideas in that area.”
“None at all, Corp,” the young man said, with far more feeling than sincerity. “I swear.”
Pete transferred his glare to Jack, remembering his comment. His friend quickly held up his hands. “Hey, I know the Bro Code.”
“This isn't-” Pete started angrily, then gave up. He was still getting used to the idea of Lily being grown up, let alone having his squad mates interested in her. As long as he'd got his point across he should probably leave it at that.
* * * * *
Pete didn't spend long sightseeing with Jack and Monty.
Since he had plans for that evening he decided he should probably take care of getting settled in and preparing for his duties with the squad beforehand. So after a quick walk around camp he parted ways with his companions and shopped around for a few things he might need now that he was living here, then returned to the barrack to get a more thorough briefing from Chavez. After that he spent some time talking to his new squad mates, swapping tales.
Epsilon was, unsurprisingly, reserved to the point of hostility. They weren't particularly happy having some strange corporal barging into a squad that had been working just fine. And Pete couldn't blame them; this sort of transfer might've made sense in a squad that wasn't under such intense strain, but here it was incredibly intrusive and potentially counterproductive.
Had Renault had some ulterior motive for the assignment? If so he hadn't mentioned it. Pete would have to keep his eyes open in case whatever it was put his neck on the line, or Jack's.
Of course he couldn't rule out simple incompetence.
Pete went to find Lily at exactly 5:00. He usually wasn't too careful when it came to punctuality, aside from in military operations where lives were on the line, but he didn't want the awkwardness of being early and waiting around and he wasn't about to keep her waiting.
It turned out she wasn't very careful about punctuality, either. She was still working when he got there, with one more load of wash to complete. But she invited him to hang out and chatted amiably for the ten minutes or so it took to finish up.
It had been years since he'd spent any real time with a girl, and on top of that after so long he'd been afraid things would be awkward between them, especially considering how he'd left.
But awkward didn't seem to be in Lily's wheelhouse; it only took him a few minutes with her to decide that she could probably hold an engaging conversation with anyone. She certainly managed to drag his grim, taciturn behind out of its shell without much effort.
“So you're back in the Chainbreakers?” she asked.
Pete nodded. “Back into Epsilon Squad, too, although none of the old faces are still there.”
The young woman's eyes filled with sorrow. “I know,” she said quietly. “Some got transferred away or
retired. I was there for the funerals of, of the ones that didn't make it.”
“So you know where Saunders is buried?” he asked in a low voice.
She shook her head. “They shipped his body back to his family.”
“Oh.” Pete hadn't even known the man had family, or where they were.
Lily's big green eyes shone with tears. “He watched out for me, you know. I mean I spent the winters with Kathy's family, and she always took care of me during the summers we were here working. But when I was here he would come by and make sure I was doing okay, give me birthday presents and things like that.”
So Saunders kept his promise about keeping an eye out for Lily, at least as well as he could. For some reason that made the man feel more real than at any other time in the last five years, even the few times he'd sent letters. It made Pete miss him even more.
Although speaking of letters . . . Pete shifted uncomfortably. “I didn't write to you much.”
“Not one since that packet of letters the spring after the second nuclear winter,” Lily agreed, somehow managing to not sound accusing. “It sounded like things were going well for you and Abella, and then . . .” she trailed off, eyes darting from meeting his gaze to looking at his expression. “Something bad happened, didn't it?”
Pete realized he was clutching his ring through his shirt, although he hadn't been aware of moving his hand. The pain hit him like a dull ache in a back tooth, always there but sometimes forgotten. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely.
To his relief the young woman didn't pry. “I didn't do so great at writing letters myself once yours stopped coming.” She looked away, ashamed. “I took it personally that you stopped writing. I thought you didn't care, that you'd forgotten me.”
It seemed cruel to admit that in many ways he had, if not forgotten then at least stopped thinking of her very much, given everything that had happened to him. “I never stopped caring,” he said, releasing the ring and letting his hand drop back to his side.
Her hand found his a moment later and held it tight. It was wrinkled and soapy from her work. “I know. I'm just glad you're back.”
Thankfully she seemed happy to turn the conversation to how her life had gone since he left. Aside from a few major events it seemed as uneventful as Pete's own had been. She'd spent most of her time with Kathleen's family on their farm, only coming in the summers to work in Lafayette. It turned out she was semi-seriously dating Kathleen's cousin, although she didn't seem too enthusiastic when she mentioned it.
As for Kathleen, she'd married a retired soldier named Bryce Gordon a few months ago, after dating off and on for about two years. Pete had mixed feelings on hearing it, although he was mostly happy for her; it looked as if she'd gotten what she wanted in the end after all.
He was a lot more reticent about his own life. He wouldn't talk about the second nuclear winter at all, and his time after that was mostly dull border patrols, interspersed with a few raids into CCZ territory or repelling enemy incursions into Canada.
“So you never, you know, found someone?” Lily's eyes were firmly on her work as she asked the question.
Pete managed to stop himself from reaching for his ring this time. “No,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. “Not many chances for that.” And he'd vigorously avoided the few that came around.
The young woman finally wiped her hands on a towel and turned, smiling brightly. “Okay, we can go.” She unabashedly hooked her arm in his and started off, giving him a choice of either following or yanking her embarrassingly backwards.
He followed.
Lily started out the tour in camp, which she seemed to know pretty well. She identified all the buildings, which units were staying in what barracks, and pointed out places a soldier might want to know about, like the canteen and similar spots for R&R. Then they left through a gate and started along the streets just outside the camp, which hosted more stores, bars, and restaurants soldiers frequented.
They'd gone almost twenty feet when Pete realized with a start that the unfamiliar street he was walking down wasn't so unfamiliar after all, even though it was now paved. Just to his right, where it had always been, stood Tanner's. On impulse he veered across the street to push the door open.
It took him a few seconds to realize Lily hadn't followed. He turned to see the young woman giving him an uncertain look. “Um, Kid?” she began.
He waved off her concerns. “Relax, I'm not drinking at five in the afternoon, especially not with you. I just wanted to see how the old bar looks after five years.”
“That's not-” Lily said as he finished opening the door and stepped inside. Where he immediately halted, realizing he'd made a mistake.
Tanner's had certainly changed over the last five years, but most notably in one important way: back when he'd been stationed in Lafayette it had been the favorite haunt of Chainbreakers and soldiers of the 51st.
Now, judging by the patches on the uniforms, it was strictly Lancer territory. He didn't see the broken chain patch on a single soldier in there.
Pete started to back out again, not caring that he was drawing curious and, once the denizens within caught sight of his own insignia, unfriendly looks. But unfortunately his luck went from bad to worst, because halfway out the door he locked eyes with none other than Fred Vernon himself, seated at the same table in the corner where Pete had punched his face in five years ago.
Lily caught his arm, guiding him along the street again. “Yeah, that's what I wanted to tell you.”
“I'm guessing Lancers still aren't our biggest fans?” Pete asked, allowing himself to be led.
The young woman snorted. “You could say that. Actually they've gained a bit of a golden reputation since you left, handed all the prestige assignments. They're in charge of overseeing Lafayette now, get all the jobs in camp and town that make them look good. Meanwhile the Chainbreakers are-” she cut off, giving him an uneasy look.
Pete had a bad feeling about that. “Are what?”
Before Lily could answer, assuming she was willing to, a shout from behind made Pete jump slightly. “Kid!”
Gritting his teeth, Pete turned to see Vernon and a few of his buddies boiling out the door. He couldn't believe even Lancers would stoop to swarming a single man in the company of a lady and beating him bloody in the middle of the street in broad daylight, but he still shifted into a wary stance as the former sheriff, now a first lieutenant apparently, approached.
It wasn't just the prospect of a beating that had made him want to flee this confrontation, though. If anything, he had more reason to hate Vernon now than five years ago when his fight with the man had gotten him exiled to Saskatoon.
If it hadn't been for that then he wouldn't have met Abella. If not for that she would still be-
Even after so long his thoughts shattered when they collided with that sharp memory, and his mind recoiled. Enough to say that he was more than ready for round two with the former sheriff, and it was hard to remember the fact that Vernon was a lieutenant and he'd be landing himself in another world of trouble if he did anything.
The older man grinned at him, looking almost smug. “I see you finally managed to wheedle your way back into your old company,” he said. “Congratulations!” His smile turned into a smirk. “Or should I say condolences? These days the Chainbreakers aren't quite the unit you left.”
“What are you talking about?” Pete demanded.
The former sheriff looked a bit surprised. “Oh, you don't know? Just how long have you been back, and how far away were you stationed in your inglorious exile?”
Lily was tugging at his arm, expression tense. Pete allowed himself to be dragged away. “Excuse me,” he called over his shoulder.
To his relief Vernon didn't pursue them, although his and his buddies' laughter followed them down the street. “Welcome back!” the officer yelled.
Half a minute later when Pete glanced over his shoulder he saw the Lancers disappearing back into Tanner's. “What
the blazes was he talking about?” he asked.
The young woman gave him an uncomfortable look. “Nothing. It's just that the Chainbreakers have always had a reputation for getting things done, right?” Pete nodded, a bit impatiently. “Well, um, recently people are starting to have some, uh, reservations about how they're getting things done. Especially after losing so many people in that disastrous raid.”
So that was it. Pete had run into those sorts before, people who demanded protection then got all squeamish about the spilled blood. “So they want their heroes to be knights in shining armor?” Pete asked sarcastically. “Sometimes the real world doesn't offer easy choices.”
Lily looked even more uncomfortable. “You've gotten cynical, Kid.”
He tried to smile. “Haven't I always been cynical?”
She continued as if he hadn't spoken. “But even the most cynical people still have blind spots. Realities too unpleasant for them to accept. And the reality here is that most would be happy if they could tell the difference between your company and slavers.”
Pete reeled back as if slapped. That went far beyond squeamishness at necessary bloodshed. “They think we're monsters?”
The young woman's hands had flown up to her mouth at his reaction. “I didn't mean it quite like that,” she hurriedly said. “It's not really that bad. Anyway mostly it's just, well, rumors I guess.”
But from the way she looked away Pete had a feeling she'd heard more than just rumors. What had he come back to?
He'd have to keep his eyes open once Epsilon got back in the field. He didn't want to believe his old company had become the sort that would cross the line, but unless someone was spreading nasty lies about them that reputation didn't just appear out of nowhere.
As they continued on through the town Lily gave a surprisingly detailed rundown of Lafayette and its occupants. And for all her talk of his cynicism he noticed she didn't look at the place with rose-tinted glasses like he expected. Of course she insisted that the place was full of good people, it was just still experiencing growing pains, that was all.