“Certainly.” Cassandra’s tone was calm and businesslike.
Marina was unable to display the same level of cool composure this woman displayed, and she couldn’t get the next words out.
“Marina, I know you were with Drew when I called. I heard your voice.”
Marina opened her mouth to deny her presence at Drew’s, but his mother held up her hand and silenced her.
“I don’t hate you, Marina.”
She didn’t? Marina bit her lip and clasped her shaking hands in front of her. Cassandra could ruin her, just as Marina had once done the same to her.
“He’s the happiest I’ve seen him in a very, very long time. That means a lot to me. I’m not going to make rash judgments, and your secret is safe with me, but you are treading on shaky ground. I’m sure you know that. I’m sure you also know my trust isn’t given lightly, and once it’s broken, it’s doubly hard to earn it back.”
“That’s fair.” Considering the crap she’d pulled on Cassandra, what she said was more than fair.
“What do you want to discuss with me?”
“Walking away from your coaching and support was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. I probably don’t deserve your forgiveness, and I’m very sorry about what happened between you and me. I want you to know I’m sorry, and I do appreciate all you did for me.”
“I know you do.” Cassandra smiled at her. “You were young, and you were vulnerable without your parents.”
“I messed up, and I am sorry.”
“I do forgive you.”
“Thank you.” Hot tears filled Marina’s eyes and she swiped her arm across her face.
“I’m very fond of your son.”
“He’s a wonderful man. Sometimes his father and I forget that. We forget he’s Drew, not our baby boy. If he’s happy with you, I’m not going to interfere, but if you hurt him, we’ll be having a talk.” Cassandra glanced at her watch and took a step away from Marina.
“I would expect nothing less.”
“Good.” Cassandra’s nod dismissed her.
“One more thing.”
Cassandra turned back around and studied Marina with interest. “And what’s that?”
“I would like to apply for a position as instructor at the new skating facility. I don’t mind teaching beginners, little kids, senior citizens, anyone. I’ll work long, hard hours, and I’ll—”
“It’s not your work ethic I’m concerned about, Marina. Or your skills. Or your dedication to the sport. Or your love of skating.”
Here it came. Marina’s heart sank, and her knees wobbled.
“I’ll consider it, but I’m not sure it would be a good idea for either of us to work together again, especially considering your relationship with Drew. I’d be in a hard place if things didn’t work out.”
“I don’t want to do that to you.”
Cassandra nodded, almost seemed regretful. “Goodbye, dear.”
“Goodbye.”
Marina grabbed her suitcase and hurried into the building and the nearest bathroom, not wanting anyone to see her break down. Her best option for a future in skating and with Drew had dissolved into nothingness. Cassandra had as good as said she wouldn’t hire her.
Composing herself, Marina went to her office to contemplate her predicament when there was a knock at her door. For a moment she held out hope that Cassandra had returned and had a change of heart.
She opened the door to Coach Gorst.
“Marina, do you have a minute?”
“Sure.” Fear swept through her as she worried Cassandra may have gone straight to the coach with her knowledge of Drew and Marina, yet he was smiling.
“Marina, we’re pleased with the results we’ve had based on your sound instruction. We’ve seen marked improvement in several players and good improvement in others.”
“Oh, good.” She let out the breath she’d been holding in a loud gasp, and Coach shot her a puzzled look.
“As a result, we’d like to offer you a full-time job as our skating coach, effective as soon as you accept.”
“I, uh, I—don’t know what to say.”
“I understand. The job is yours, but we’ll need the answer by the season’s end, which is after we win the Cup.” His grin broadened and he winked at her.
“I’m so flattered. You gave me a chance when no one else would. I owe a debt of gratitude to the team.”
“Marina, we were just smarter than everyone else. To be honest, we’ve had a few other teams sniffing around about your employment status, but we think we have the most to offer. Regardless, we won’t stand in your way if you choose another team, but at least give us a chance to match any other offers you’ve gotten.”
“I will. I promise. This is so overwhelming. I don’t know what to say.”
“Just say yes.” Gorst laughed then disappeared out the door and down the hall.
When it rains, it pours.
Drew wanted them to have a real relationship. Cassandra didn’t want her. The Sockeyes did.
What card did she draw next to use on her house of cards? The whole thing could come falling down on her. She could lose it all, and most importantly, she could lose Drew.
Marina had lot to think about, but she couldn’t tell Drew. He had hockey games to concentrate on. He needed to play his best to get the best offer from the team and for himself. For Drew to feel good about his decision, he should be feeling good about his performance. Playing crappy could force him into a premature retirement, which he might regret later.
Marina might be falling in love with him, but could their growing relationship survive a huge blow with one of them walking away from the very thing which thrust them together in the first place?
Chapter 21—Double-Toe Loop
Friday night, Drew was too keyed up about the upcoming Finals, he couldn’t sleep. Sex wasn’t relaxing him, either. Marina suggested they go to the SHAC and work on their routine to burn off the energy they should’ve burned off having sex. The team had a rare weekend off and on Sunday flew to Pittsburgh for the first of two away games.
They drove together in Marina’s car and parked in the deserted parking garage. Marina used her keycard because it wasn’t unusual for her to skate late at night and wouldn’t arouse any suspicions.
They skated their routine perfectly. At the end, he did a lift and lowered her slowly down his body until she was standing. He lowered his head and took her mouth in a searing kiss. Marina clutched his ass and held him tight against her. He skated with her held to him until she was pressed against the boards, and he continued his assault on her mouth.
“I’ve never done it on ice,” he rasped, dragging his mouth from hers and sucking on an earlobe. She briefly considered her options, but naked on ice wasn’t one of them.
“What if security comes by to check on us? They’ve done it before.”
He leaned back and looked into her eyes. “Fuck. I’m so tired of this sneaking around crap. I want you at all the celebrations with me. I’ve been missing them because you aren’t going to be there. I want the world to know I’m in love with you.”
“Drew, you know why we can’t. Let’s get through the season and figure it out later.”
When he scowled like he was doing now, his brows drew together, and his eyes hardened to cold pieces of jade.
“That’s the problem, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“I need to know where I stand with you,” Drew said, in all seriousness.
But Marina didn’t want to be serious. She wasn’t in the mood. She’d been trying to shake off this uneasy feeling for a while that they were being watched; most likely, she was paranoid. They’d been doing so much sneaking around, the odds were against them when it came to getting caught.
“I like you better laying down.”
Drew’s eyes narrowed to irritated slits. “I’m being serious here. I’m about to make the most important decision of my life, and our future relationship plays a
part in that decision.”
Marina’s heart sank. Why did he have to bring this up now? She struggled as it was, knowing if she told him she loved him, he might give up hockey for all the wrong reasons. She couldn’t live with herself if he did that. “Your decision needs to be exclusive of me.”
“No, it can’t be. Not if we both love each other. Do you love me, Marina?”
“Drew, not now.” She grabbed handfuls of his shirt and stared up at him, pleading with him to not push her right now. He didn’t get the message.
“Do you love me?”
“I’m not ready to answer that.”
The look of utter despair and betrayal on his face shattered her heart.
“Then why the fuck are we doing this?” He backed away from her and skated in little circles a few feet away. He fisted his hands in frustration and stabbed at the ice with his blades rather than gliding across it.
Because I really do love you, she wanted to say, but she didn’t. He couldn’t know until he’d made his decision to stay or go. It’d be easier on both of them that way.
“Why are we doing this, Marina?” He ground to a stop and squared off in front her, hands on hips.
“For good sex?” she said, another poor attempt at a joke.
He scowled at her and kicked the ice with the toe of one skate. She wanted to hug him, kiss the anger off his face, take him to bed and make her forget all this. Somehow, she didn’t think she’d be able to deter him this time. He wanted answers to questions she couldn’t answer.
She skated toward him. When she put a hand on his shoulder, he flinched as if she’d struck him. “Drew, I want to see what the future holds, and if we have one. Can’t we table this until the Finals are over?”
“It’s always later with you. The next obstacle. The next mountain to climb. The next game to win. I can’t wait any longer. I have to know now. If you love me, we’ll find a way to make this work. You have to believe.”
She wanted to believe, but she couldn’t. She’d been slapped down by life too many times to believe in a fair and just world where repentant people eventually were forgiven by fate and allowed to be happy.
“I don’t know if I can.” She spoke with raw honesty and heartbreaking clarity. He deserved that from her at the least.
“Do you really mean that?”
She nodded, barely able to see through the tears pooling in her eyes.
Drew ran his hands over his face and let out a long, deep sigh. When he finally met her gaze again, the resolve was clear in his eyes. “Then we have nothing more to talk about.”
“Drew, I—”
He held up a hand, not wanting to hear it. “It’s time I go. I’ll see you on the bus.”
He headed for the tunnel. She started to go after him and stopped. It was better to let him go. She loved him too much to allow him to make the mistake of a lifetime. Things were better this way, for now.
* * * *
Drew avoided everyone for the next several hours, preferring to lick his wounds in private. He attended the morning skate and afternoon practice. She was there, but she ignored him and concentrated on the other guys. The few times she spoke to him, she was coldly professional.
He tried to concentrate on the upcoming Finals.
Everything a hockey player worked for from the day he put on his first pair of skates came down to these seven games. It was the culmination of years of hard work, blood, sweat, and an ample dose of tears in the privacy of his home. Most guys never got this far. Drew was one of the chosen few. Despite his uncertainty about his hockey future, he understood the importance of these moments. His father never had them, and neither had Dave. As much as he’d been fighting it, he wasn’t just playing for himself, he was playing for Dave and his dad and all the other guys out there working their asses off in the minors who would never make it to the NHL.
And here he was. On the verge of achieving his lifelong dream.
He was nervous as hell, and nothing should matter but the game, only he couldn’t get Marina off his mind.
Unable to face a night alone, Drew went to Gone Missing and worked on the Harmon case with Bronson. Maybe it’d take his mind off whether or not to cut Marina loose.
But he had cut her loose. They were over. As much as it broke his heart, he needed a woman who stood by him and loved him as if he were the only man she’d ever want. He’d thought Marina was that woman.
But Marina didn’t want to work on their relationship. She didn’t want to be with him like he wanted to be with her. Sure, she’d sneak around with him, but she wasn’t willing to do the heavy lifting of solving the issues their complicated situation required, and there were solutions. He knew there were. Maybe they’d involve tough choices, but he’d been willing to make them if Marina had only said she’d loved him.
She hadn’t.
And now she’d made those tough choices not nearly as tough.
Bronson rifled through a stack of papers from one of the many boxes in his office. He put them down and studied Drew with a practiced eye.
“What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. Why would you say that?”
“Because you’ve been looking at the same computer screen for the past twenty minutes, and there’s nothing on it but your desktop. I don’t know about you, but my desktop is damned boring.”
“That’s because you’re boring. My desktop is exciting.”
Bronson chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right. So, it’s a woman. Marina, huh?”
“How do you know this shit?”
“Well, duh. I’m a PI. I get paid to observe and draw correct conclusions, but you two are transparent as hell. Not much to tax my abilities there.”
“I’ll try harder next time.”
“So, what’s the scoop?”
“We’re through, I guess,” Drew said miserably. He abandoned his futile attempt to look busy and leaned back in his chair, staring at the stained ceiling of the office. If this room could talk, he probably wouldn’t want to listen. One of the more prominent stains looked like splattered blood, though it was probably ancient.
“You guess? Either you are, or you aren’t.” Bronson dealt in black and whites. People were good or evil. Nothing was shades of gray. You were guilty or you weren’t. No half guilties in his world. Drew supposed that made his life more palatable. Despite how messy his office was, he thrived on order, his brand of order.
“She’s been offered a full-time job with the Sockeyes, and I’m considering signing a new contract with them. We can’t both work for them.”
“Then she goes to another team or another job, or you do. It’s that simple.”
Of course, Bronson considered it that simple. Drew, however, did not. “This is her shot at coming back, repairing her reputation. The Sockeyes are first-class. Anyone would be proud to be on their staff or the team.”
“If you want to stay together, you can’t be on the same team.” Bronson squinted at Drew, as if he didn’t get what was so hard to understand about that.
“I know.” Drew was exasperated. “That’s the problem.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure you’ll work something out.” Bronson shrugged, obviously done with the conversation. He didn’t do people well, and relationship problems weren’t his forte.
“I guess so,” Drew said glumly and turned back to his desktop. He forced himself to open Chrome and start doing some searches on certain persons of interest to see what he could find.
“Oh, shit,” Bronson said thirty minutes later. “You’re going to want to see this.”
* * * *
Marina’s phone blew up with texts from various people, mostly Mina and Kaley. She followed the link Kaley sent with heart-sinking dread. Someone had been in the SHAC on Friday night and had videoed their entire performance, including the makeout session afterward.
She was in deep trouble. The missed calls and texts on her cell were mountainous. Only one did she pay attention to. Mina ordered her
to be at the SHAC within the hour to meet with Coach.
Several minutes later, Marina waited in Gorst’s office by herself. She could hear voices raised in the hallway. This was not going to be good.
The door opened, and Ethan and Coach entered, both looking grim. Ethan sat in a chair across the small table from her. Gorst sat on the edge of his desk, grim-faced and stiff.
“Marina, you know why you’re here,” Ethan said. He had the expression of a man about to do something he found loathsome.
She nodded. The lump in her throat prevented her from speaking. She clutched her clipboard in front of her like a shield, glad she’d brought it along even though she didn’t need it.
Gorst wouldn’t meet her gaze, and he let Ethan do the talking.
“This is damn hard for me, Marina, because I’m being a hypocrite, and I hate that. I’m sure you understand how your relationship with Drew undermines your credibility with the guys and makes it difficult to be considered a professional with your fellow coaches and staff.”
“I do,” she said in a small voice.
“I’m the last person in this organization to berate you for falling in love. I know as well as anyone, you can’t plan it or stop it. It hits you like a charging bull, and all you can do is grab it by the horns and hang on for the ride. But I have an organization to run and a Stanley Cup to win. If this were brought to our attention in a way we could’ve kept quiet, I’d have let you stay until the end of the season. The team doesn’t need the drama or the distraction of the press this is getting and will get for the next several days. I guess we’ll test their resilience, especially Drew’s.”
She nodded and unsuccessfully swallowed a sob, which came out in a weirdly inhuman whimper.
“I’m sorry,” Ethan said, “but we’re going to have to let you go. Please pack your things and security will help you carry them out.”
Marina nodded, needing to get out of there before she burst into tears.
Coach Gorst reached for her hand and shook it awkwardly. “We’re going to miss you, Marina.”
“Me, too. Thank you for giving me a chance.” She hurried from the room before she lost it in front of them. Outside in the corridor several team members shuffled and stared at their feet. They murmured thanks and goodbyes. She was touched by their concern. Only Drew was absent, which hurt more than being fired.
Shot on Goal Page 20