by Brenda Poppy
After a few beats, she risked a glance behind her to make sure he was gone. She could still feel his breath on her face and his hand digging into her arm. She tried to shake off the feeling, but it persisted, like a ghost of his presence.
Burn willed her feet to move, walking slowly through the doors, out, and down the front steps. She secured her goggles and mask, forcing herself to breathe. It was over. He was gone. She was fine.
A shout came from behind her, muffled by the crowd, but she didn’t turn. Keep walking, she told herself. Get as far from this place as you can. The shout came again, this time louder, and she could now make out the words. “Auburn! Auburn Alendra!”
Not again, Burn cringed. She turned around slowly, coming face to face with Kaz.
He was smiling, the expression lighting up his face and making his green eyes twinkle. She hadn’t noticed his eyes the night before. They were captivating. And dangerous, Burn reminded herself. He was a Peace Officer. And even though he didn’t know it, he had the power to ruin her.
“How did you know my name?” Burn asked, keeping her voice low and glancing around. The last thing she needed was Cross to come out and see them together. Yet they seemed to be alone in the crowd.
“Officer Straad, the boy at the front desk,” Kaz confessed sheepishly. “I saw you walking out and asked if he knew who you were. He seemed more than happy to tell me about you.”
Burn cocked her head and shrugged. So Kaz didn’t know more than the basics, she thought. Good. She wasn’t in any immediate danger, although she would be if he kept asking questions or bringing her name up around the station.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” he continued. “You disappeared without even so much as a name. But now you’re here. It’s like fate.”
Yup, Burn thought, it was fate alright. Fate’s idea of a cruel joke.
She weighed her options. She could brush him off, say “thanks but no thanks” and leave. Maybe then he’d forget about her and go on with his life. Or he’d start telling his coworkers – including Cross – the story of the odd girl who broke into his house, used him for a hideout, then ditched him the first chance she got.
On the other hand, she could play along and see where this whole thing went. He obviously liked her. He had chased her out into the street, for god’s sake. Maybe she could use that.
She smiled, the latter option winning out. “I didn’t think I’d see you again either.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I mean, you did just turn up at my place of work. A day after breaking into my house. How do I know you’re not stalking me?”
Burn was taken aback. When he put it that way, she did sound a little insane. But then she noticed the smirk playing at the corner of his lips.
“You caught me,” she said, throwing her hands up. “I have a thing for Peace Officers. Must be some sort of daddy issue.”
“Wait, your dad was an officer?” Kaz asked with surprise.
“Oh,” Burn said, thrown. “I thought the esteemed Officer Straad would have mentioned that.”
“No, I definitely would have remembered that. It was more like ‘Hey, do you know who that girl is talking to General Cross?’ ‘Oh, her? That’s Auburn Alendra. Isn’t she perfect? I think I’m going to marry her.’”
“I really did make an impression, didn’t I?” Burn said, her cheeks flushing. She had just needed his help. She hadn’t intended to make the poor boy fall in love with her.
“Well...?” Kaz asked expectantly.
“Well, he’s a nice boy, but not really my type.”
Kaz let out a loud, booming laugh. “No, I meant ‘well, your father was on the force?’”
“Oh, of course,” Burn said, her face going redder. “Yeah, he was on the force for over 20 years. He went missing a few years ago. Presumed dead.” Her voice took on a flat quality, the same way it always did when she discussed her father. Presumed dead? More like presumed murdered. Or presumed set up by that conniving boss of yours and tossed out like yesterday’s garbage.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, faltering.
“It was a long time ago,” was all Burn said in response. She was about to make up an excuse to leave when Kaz spoke again.
“Look, can I walk you home?”
“Won’t you be missed?” Burn asked, glancing toward the towering Peace Station.
He perked up. “My shift just ended. I work the early shift.” That would explain why he’d been asleep when she’d burst into his house. “Besides,” he continued, “they can survive without me. It’s not like the city is in imminent danger of collapse.” He laughed.
Burn started. Was he being facetious – or did he know something? She studied his face but couldn’t find any signs of seriousness. Instead, he just gazed back, as if studying her, as well.
“So, how about it?” he asked again, holding out his arm like some sort of old-fashioned gentleman.
Burn turned, ignoring the arm, and walked a few paces before looking back over her shoulder. “Well? Are you coming?” Kaz sprang to life, closing the gap between them in a few long strides. “You better not slow me down,” she warned him jokingly before setting off.
In the hazy daylight, Kaz looked different than he had in the darkness. She had thought his hair was black, but it now appeared a deep, rich brown. He had a straight nose and strong jaw, offset by a full mouth that seemed to be in a permanent smirk. It wasn’t a look of superiority or derision – more a playfulness that made his eyes twinkle.
She watched as he pulled up his mask and dug his goggles out of his pocket, lowering them over his shaggy mane. In his full black uniform, he looked every bit the soldier. Tall and strong, walking like he owned the world.
Kaz caught her staring at him and she hastily looked away, focusing on the street in front of her.
“So,” he said, breaking the silence. “Auburn. What really brought you to the station today? I mean, if you weren’t there to see me – which I still think is a possibility.”
Burn was silent for a time, debating how much to tell him. Letting him know about the search on her house would lead to questions that she didn’t want to answer. Like why had she been the target of a search the same night she’d been on the run from some unknown thugs? The two things couldn’t possibly be a coincidence. Anyone could see that.
So she told him simply, “I was there to see Detective Grayland. He was a friend of my father’s – well, a friend of the family. I was hoping he could help me track down something that I’d lost. But no luck.”
Kaz nodded, seeming to accept the story.
“Oh, and it’s Burn, by the way,” she threw in.
“Burn? What’s burn?” Kaz asked, confused.
She chuckled. “I am. Auburn was my dad’s idea. He thought it was cute, naming his daughters Scarlett and Auburn. He said he always wanted a colorful family.”
“Hmm, Burn.” Kaz considered the name, rolling it over on his tongue. “Nope, I don’t like it,” he finally declared.
Burn scoffed. “You don’t like my name? What’ wrong with it?”
He thought for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “It’s too harsh, too...serious. Almost like a threat.” Burn glared at him, but he continued on, purposefully ignoring her expression. “Auburn, on the other hand, now that’s a good name. Pretty. You just seem like an Auburn to me.”
If he only knew how well Burn suited her, he’d never call her Auburn again, she thought. But she let it drop. If he wanted to call her Auburn, let him.
The pair walked up a level, their pace slow. They passed shops and stalls and people haggling loudly for goods. Every once in a while, Burn would sneak a look at Kaz, measuring him up. And every once in a while, Burn could feel his gaze on her, no doubt doing the same. It felt strange and tentative, unsure but hopeful.
Burn couldn’t help but smile slightly. It was nice to have someone notice her. Well, notice her as a woman and not just as a tool for subverting the military regime. It fe
lt…unusual, and Burn didn’t know what to say.
Thankfully, she was spared the trouble by Kaz, who took it upon himself to direct the conversation. “So, Auburn, tell me about yourself. What do you do for fun?”
Fun? The question stumped Burn. What did she do for fun? Sure, her life was full and rewarding. She had a mission, a purpose. But she didn’t have fun, per se. Blackmail wasn’t exactly a joy ride of a time. Neither was working for the Lunaria.
“Well, I guess I do what everyone else does,” she said, trying to think on her feet. “I spend time with friends.” The Lunaria. Not quite friends, but definitely a group of people with whom she spent a lot of time. “We talk about the world.” And how corrupt it is. “We go out.” And try to undermine the Peace Force and everything they do.
Kaz didn’t seem satisfied with her answer. “Right…” he said.
“What do you want?” Burn bristled, getting defensive. “I don’t have ‘hobbies.’ I can’t sew or cook or do anything useful. Most of my time is spent figuring out how to get through the day. Buy the food, pay the bills, make sure the house doesn’t fall down around me.”
Instead of lashing out, like she had expected, Kaz chuckled. That seemed to be a habit of his.
“I don’t really have hobbies either,” he confessed. “I think that’s just something people ask to be polite.”
Burn felt her cheeks go red. She had overreacted big time. He was trying to make polite conversation and she had jumped down his throat. Well, this was going smoothly, she thought sarcastically.
“But I agree with you,” Kaz went on. “Just getting through the day is enough of a battle without having to worry about ‘fun’ on top of it. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve had fun since before I joined the force.”
His mention of the force brought Burn back to herself. He was an officer, a part of the problem, not someone she should be getting close to. Instead of revealing anything else about herself, she should be using this opportunity to discover more about him.
“Why did you join the force?” she asked, trying not to sound too curious. She was curious, though. Was he one of those men who craved power? Did he aspire to climb the ranks and establish himself as a ruler among men? Was he just as corrupt as the rest of them? Burn found herself hoping he was different.
He considered her question, mulling over what to say. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “I was good at it. They said I was a natural. And I wanted so badly to be good at something.”
“Right…” Burn said, mimicking Kaz’s earlier response. She wanted more from the man, a real reason why he had joined up with that corrupt organization.
“You got me,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “I guess it was more than that.”
His face went darker and he looked away, silent for a long beat. Then, without warning, he stopped walking. The sea of people around him parted, moving around this new obstacle. He didn’t seem to notice.
Burn pulled him out of the main thoroughfare, dragging him into a nearby alley. The noise of the street was still audible there, but it was muted, dimmed to a background hum. Kaz looked at Burn, weighing whether or not to continue his story. She gave him an encouraging nod, hoping he’d go on.
“I was 7,” he began timidly. “We didn’t have much money. It was only the four of us – my parents, my older sister, and me. But we were happy. We lived…down there,” he said, pointing toward the lower tiers.
“God, it’s been so long since I thought about this,” he looked into her eyes. “I’m not even sure why I’m telling you. I guess you just seem like the kind of person who would understand – what with your dad and all.” Burn nodded, judging that it was better not to speak.
Kaz looked down the alley, as if watching the story play out in the distance. “My mother took us shopping, my sister and me. We did it all the time. Nothing was different or special. We needed bread or meat or something mundane. It was just an average day. Until it wasn’t.”
He lifted up his goggles, rubbing at his eyes. He looked different in that instant, weary and older somehow. For the first time, the twinkle was gone.
“We were on our way home,” he said, replacing his goggles. “It was getting dark and my mom wanted us to hurry. But I wanted to look in the window of every single shop – at the gadgets and the treats and the people buying them. I think I was purposely dawdling, slowing us down so I didn’t have to go home to chores and homework and all the other banes of childhood.” He paused briefly before continuing.
“The man came out of nowhere. He wanted our shopping, our money, anything we had. My mom gave it to him, but he wasn’t satisfied. He was sure that she was holding out on him. It was my sister who pushed me out of the way. I must have crawled behind a bench or something because he didn’t notice me.
“He struck my mom first. He had a knife and he was so strong. My sister tried to help. She picked up a piece of metal and started for him, but he was faster. I watched it all. It didn’t take very long. In a minute they were both down. And I just sat there, unable to move, unable to help. He ran. They never caught him. I don’t think they even tried. Just another crime in the ghetto.”
So it had been a desire for power that made him join the force after all – but not the type of power Burn had assumed. It was power as an antidote to powerlessness, power as a salve for injustice.
Kaz looked up at her, his gaze boring into hers. “That’s the real reason why I helped you.” His voice didn’t waver. Neither did his eyes. “Because I couldn’t then. Because I wished somebody had done that for them, protected them and given them a place to hide, no questions asked. Because it was a way to make up for what I didn’t do then.”
Something dawned on Burn. “The pipe?” she asked gently.
He let out a humorless laugh. “I’ve kept it by my bed ever since. It’s the same one Fen had that day. That was her name, Fen. It’s both protection and a reminder. Or it was, until I gave it to you.”
The full force of his gesture struck her. That he had given her, a complete stranger, something so precious stunned her.
“Thank you,” Burn said sincerely. “I still have it. I’ll get it for you when I get home.”
“No, I have a feeling you need it more than I do,” he said. His voice once again held the humor she’d gotten used to. “Come on,” he said, holding out his hand. This time, Burn took it.
Chapter 10
Kaz and Burn finished their walk in easy conversation. No more passed between them about Kaz’s past. But something had shifted.
With Kaz’s confession, his vulnerability, he’d unknowingly unlocked something. They no longer felt like strangers who had been forced together in a moment of crisis. They had lowered their guards and now felt more like friends getting reacquainted after a long absence.
Burn told him about Scarlett and her crazy projects and that one time she had almost set the house on fire. And he told her about the force and his friends and that one time that he, too, had almost set his house on fire.
For the first time in a very long time, Burn forgot about the Lunaria and her orders. She let go – and she discovered that she liked it. And sooner than either of them had hoped, they arrived at Burn’s front door.
Neither of them wanted the conversation to end, but Burn wasn’t about to invite Kaz inside. Who knew what kind of thing Scarlett was currently concocting – what kind of anti-Peace Force thing? Or what kind of mood she was in. Whatever mood it was, it wouldn’t be improved by the sudden appearance of a Peace Officer in their home.
Burn turned to face Kaz, her back to the door. “Thank you for walking me home,” she said, smiling. “It was…nice.” That wasn’t quite the right word for it, but it worked. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Yeah,” Kaz said hesitantly. “Unless…” he trailed off, unsure.
“Unless what?” Burn asked, her curiosity piqued. She knew she shouldn’t want to see him again. But she did.
Kaz worked
up his nerve and looked her in the eye. “Unless you might want to go with me to the annual Peace Force ball tomorrow?”
“What?” Burn blurted out, despite the fact that she had heard him perfectly fine. She was just so shocked that her brain momentarily stopped working.
After the initial hiccup, though, it whirled into overdrive. She couldn’t be seen at a police party. If Cross saw her, she had no idea what he would do, but it wouldn’t be pleasant. Plus, she had just met this man. Despite their easy rapport, he wasn’t yet someone she trusted – or even knew that much about.
Then again, she thought as her brain changed tracks, this could be exactly what she needed. In a room full of Peace Officers, drinking and letting their guards down, she could learn more than she ever could in the station. Her mind spun with the possibilities.
“I know it’s probably stupid to ask,” Kaz said, taking her silence as uncertainty. “I wasn’t even planning on going. But it could be fun – if we went together, that is.” He glanced up at Burn, his eyes hopeful.
Burn’s stomach did a little flip. She told herself it was excitement about this new avenue of secret gathering, but it was more than that. It was the way he looked at her. And his nervous smile. She shook her head, trying to collect herself, but found her mind wandering down a different road entirely.
“My parents used to go to that, before my mother passed,” she said, her voice low. “I remember them both looking so beautiful. My mother would put on her best dress and a pair of earrings, and suddenly some of the life would come back into her eyes. She looked younger, somehow, and more alive than I’d ever seen her. And when my dad saw her…he looked so proud. Like he held the jewel of Kasis in his arms.”
Reality came rushing back as she remembered who she was talking to. Kaz. Peace Officer Kaz. She instructed herself to focus on the task at hand.
“But, Kaz, I don’t know if I can go with you.” She wanted him to protest, wanted him to ask why. She wasn’t disappointed.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly self-conscious. “Is there someone else? Did I misread this?”