“I don’t know. I’m excited and scared and happy all at once. I’m pregnant and unmarried and I can’t leave my house because a bunch of crazy people, are out to get us apparently. Not to mention the fact that Connor has lost his mind and has a list a mile long of my dos and don’ts, mostly don’ts.
Other than that I’m peachy, but we were talking about you. Are you planning on sticking around?” I was wondering how long it was going to take before someone came right out and asked me that. Zak didn’t count, besides he never asked, more like ordered.
“I don’t know, I want to but…” I cut myself off before I said too much. It was only fair that Zak should be the first one to know, but boy was I dreading what was coming. With Zak things could go either way, he could be very understanding, or he could go off the rails completely. It was too late to turn back now though, I’d already set the ball in motion and in a few short hours my life was going to be changed forever. Hopefully it would be for the good.
I was almost tempted to call my mom and tell her not to come, but in the end I buckled down and let it be. Please just let it be okay.
***
DANI
“I think something’s wrong with Vanessa.” I’d left her in the window seat and headed back to the living room with the others. “What do you mean, is she sick?” Gaby stopped halfway to her seat. We were just sitting around cooling our heals since the men had pretty much forbidden us to do anything more than sit and look at the four walls. Connor was being even more of a tyrant than usual and I despaired of having a moment’s peace for the next few months until the baby came. I’ve never seen such a strong man lose it over a pregnancy before in my life.
It’s like we were transported back to the seventeenth century when conditions were tentative at best and the birth rate was a lot sketchier. As much as I tried convincing him that everything would work out fine, he wasn’t having it. And now with this new development things were going to be a lot worst.
Now we were cooped up in the house under strict orders to stay put, with two relative strangers. I liked Vanessa, she seemed cool and she tried to protect Gaby and I from those goons the day before, which more than upped her in my estimation, but she seemed troubled somehow.
“No not sick, but there’s definitely something.” I took the cup of tea Gaby passed me and waited until she was seated. Susie as usual was just taking it all in. We knew her and her family from the town of course, but we’d never had occasion to hang out together, so we didn’t really know that much about her. She seemed okay, even though I got the sense she thought Gaby and I were idiots for letting the men boss us around.
From what little Connor had let slip, if she was sniffing around Cord she was in for a rude awakening though, because apparently, he was worse than Connor or Logan, if you can imagine that one.
“I think she and Zak used to be an item once before and something went wrong, and now they’ve been thrown together again.” Gaby folded her legs beneath her and took a sip of her tea after imparting that little tidbit. I could see where that might not be the easiest thing, especially since these men didn’t seem to have much give in them.
“The two of them seemed to be getting along fine at breakfast; no there’s something else going on.” Whatever it was we weren’t gonna figure it out by guessing so we moved on to talk of the wedding.
“I know one thing, Logan had better figure out how we’re gonna get to the dress shop for our appointments in a couple days or there’s gonna be hell to pay.”
“Oh hush Gaby, you know darn well that you’re not gonna step foot off this property if he says no; besides, we’re in enough trouble as it is so don’t you go getting any ideas.”
“Shows how much you know. These men are crazy about babies haven’t you noticed? Lo will let me get away with anything because I’m carrying his son. You should see him, totally gone.”
Vanessa came back into the room just then and I wish I understood the look on her face. I’d noticed it when we were on the way to the hospital talking about babies; there was definitely something there. But as soon as it appeared, it went away.
“Yeah I know, Con’s the same way, but that don’t mean he won’t go upside my head if I try a stunt like that again. So no more of your brilliant ideas.”
“Really, I’m surprised at you two, letting these men run roughshod over you; and you call yourself southern belles.” Gaby and I both looked at little Susie and burst out laughing.
“Girl we’ve seen you making eyes at Cord, if you think our guys are bad, from what I hear he’s worse.” She turned red as a cherry and didn’t say anything more, which only made us laugh harder. The talk soon turned to the guys and who was the worse of the bunch when it came to being dictatorial.
Gaby, Vanessa and I were each convinced our guys were the worse, Susie, after she overcame her shyness, swore that her Cord as she puts it was a saint, an angel among men. Poor thing, bless her heart, she’d learn.
“Quinn.” Vanessa said it out of the blue.
“What, no way.” She just nodded her head as she sipped on her own cup of tea.
“Yep, I’m telling you. I’ve been around these guys in the heat of battle. Now don’t get me wrong, they all have their shit that would make you wanna throat punch them every other second, but that one, he’s got an extra something going on just beneath the good boy next door surface. And you know what they say; it’s always the quiet ones. Now Cord, he’s another breed of animal, I’m sorry Susie but you’re gonna have your hands full there.”
After that we pretty much degenerated into a free for all and I soon forgot all about Vanessa and her issues and even the fact that we were being held prisoner in our own homes.
At the end of the day I don’t think any of us would have it any other way. I know I wouldn’t change my position for anything in the world, not if it meant not having my Connor. It was strange that only a few short months ago I was the only female in this sea of testosterone and now I had three new sisters to help me deal.
I was actually pretty excited for all of us, even with the danger that played on the outskirts of our lives. Because I knew, that if these women found with the others what I had with Connor, what we were building here was going to be spectacular.
Chapter 7
ZAK
It felt like she’d been hiding from me all day. Every time I came within breathing distance she found somewhere else to be. I was getting pretty fucking tired of that shit and was looking for her to set her ass straight when I came up on her and Logan in some sort of secret meet, they were standing way too fucking close.
I stopped short and took it in, willing myself not to go off kilter, which is usually my first response. There was a strange vehicle parked just inside the gate, which I totally ignored because the scene looked all fucking wrong to me. Cool it Zak; fuck that.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I started moving again with purpose. Now rationally, I knew there was nothing going on. I knew that Lo would never poach on my shit, and since she didn’t have a death wish she wouldn’t play me false. But irrationally, I didn’t like anyone that fucking close to her and they all knew it. So far everyone had respected my boundaries, but with the way she’d been acting and now this, it was a bit much.
They both turned and looked at me and I knew something was wrong. Lo started to walk towards me with a look on his face, and then he sent out the call for the others. It was this special whistle we all used when one of us needed the whole team on some shit. It was rare as fuck to hear it here though.
“What the fuck Lo, what’s going on?” I looked at her, at the fear on her face and nothing was computing. I started to go to her but he got in my way and shit started going haywire in my chest. From their body language I knew some fuck was wrong, but I had no idea what. She wasn’t bleeding, didn’t look hurt, she didn’t look anything but fuck scared.
Then I saw movement, like something was on her chest or some shit. What did she have there a pet? Swear to
fuck I thought she had a pet monkey clinging to her. I started to turn back to Lo to ask him what the fuck, but she turned completely around to face me. It was a baby. She had a baby? I felt something inside me twist painfully and a roaring started in my head. She had a fucking kid with someone else? My life dimmed in and out and I went hot and cold before nausea set in. I could hear Lo speaking but couldn’t make out the words. She fucking lied to me; that’s the only thought I could hold onto at the moment.
When I could feel again, I moved towards her, to do what I don’t know; all I knew was the rage the beat in my chest. I’d never laid hands on a woman before in my life, but in that moment I knew I could kill her.
There was blood in my eyes as I went for her, but then the kid picked its head up and looked dead at me. It was like getting hit in the chest with a brick. My world did a three sixty and my knees almost went out from under me. I looked from her and back at the kid who was staring at me, and back again.
“Who the fuck is that?” I pointed my finger at her accusingly. I knew who it was with just one look, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to accept. I was looking into a replica of my face; only this one was attached to a mini female. I looked back at Vanessa in shock and disbelief. “You unconscionable bitch.” Now I know I was gonna fucking kill her.
“Zak no.” I heard Devon scream my name, heard running feet, but I didn’t hear much else until hands were pulling at me. I struggled against them as they all rushed me. My world was all confusion in that moment. I couldn’t see, hear, nor think.
My heart rate exceeded the norm and I went into shutdown. Total fucking combat mode. I was in enemy territory again at least that’s where I went in my head. I think I had to, to protect my mind from utter darkness. “It’s okay brother we’ve got you, stay down.” I heard Lo’s voice in my ear, close, too close.
“Look at me Zak, I said look at me.” I looked at Lo and the others who looked worried as fuck. What was going on? I was fighting hard to hold onto reality. “That little girl is seeing you for the first time, who knows when she grows up what the fuck she will remember. Let her first memory of you be a good one brother, you owe her that.” Little girl, I had a little girl. It all came rushing back.
“She’s mine?” I knew the answer already, but I needed someone else to say it out loud so I’d know I wasn’t losing my fucking mind.
“Yeah she’s yours.” I studied his face to make sure, Lo wouldn’t lie to me, and the others were already nodding their heads too.
A million things went through me in that moment. Isn’t it funny how your life can change so drastically from one minute to the next? My whole life I’d been taught to think on my feet, this was no different. I was already moving things around in my head, already making a place for my kid.
I heard the women come outside and go to Vanessa after Con made a phone call, but she no longer existed for me. I’ma strangle that bitch first chance I get. Yeah, that sounds about right; but first things first.
“You can let me go now, I’m not gonna do anything.” He studied me for a good minute before nodding and standing back. I got up and dusted myself off and accepted the claps on the back from my brothers as I made my way towards them. The women were all standing together in a huddle, protecting mother and child. Vanessa looked scared as shit, as she should be. I wanted to wrap my hand around her neck and squeeze, but I showed none of what I was feeling outwardly. The others might catch on eventually, but for now I used all my training to keep my face blank and my body loose. I stopped in front of her but I didn’t even see her, my eyes were for the pintsized version of me.
I reached out and took her, but Vanessa tried to stop me by hanging on tighter. “Let go Vanessa.” It’s all I said to her but it was my use of her name that had her letting go of our daughter in surprise. She knew I had to be pissed, I never called her by name otherwise, it was always Red, or Nessa. I took my baby girl and walked away with her calling my name and my brothers cautioning her to give me space. When I was a few feet away I stopped and without turning to look at her, asked her the only thing I wanted to know from her. “What’s her name?”
“Zakira.”
I buried my face in my daughter’s hair as I walked on. She had my hair when it wasn’t shaved down to the scalp. The same wild curls that went every which way, and my eyes, fuck she was all me. She looked up at me so trustingly with her wet eyes and my heart flew out of my chest and into the little hand she had curled against me. I picked up that hand and kissed it. “I love you Zakira.” I went into my house and locked the door.
Chapter 8
VANESSA
“You fucked up royally, I don’t even know what to say to you and she isn’t mine. You shoulda known he was gonna go ape shit.” I was sitting in Logan and Gaby’s kitchen trying to come to terms with the scene that had just unfolded outside.
Yes I had expected Zak to be pissed, but I hadn’t expected the look of unbridled hatred in his eyes. I wasn’t sure I would ever overcome that, and now he had my daughter, and had locked himself away in his house. I felt the disappointment from the men around me, even as Gaby, Dani and even little Susie hung close and tried to offer me comfort.
“I know you’re all mad at me, but try to understand, I didn’t do this to hurt him…”
“This is a conversation you’re gonna have to have with him. We’re not gonna go against him on this and you know that. I don’t know your reasons for doing what you did, but I do know my brother, and right now, you’re fucked.” My body jerked at his words. “Hey, there’s no point in me sugar coating that shit. Just take a deep breath, accept that you were wrong, and know that he’s not gonna be satisfied until he gets his pound of flesh.”
“But that’s not fair…”
“Nessa, you had his fucking kid and didn’t tell him, do you not know who the fuck you’re dealing with here?” Well when he put it like that, yeah, but still. I wasn’t the one passing out ultimatums two years ago. I wasn’t the one who was too pigheaded to give even an inch. I refused to cry in front of these men, men that I had served with, and gained their respect. “If he isn’t back with her in one hour I’m going over there.”
“Uh, I’m thinking that’s a big fucking no-no.” Tyler dropped down in the seat next to mine. “Listen, Lo gave you the harsh truth, now I’m gonna give you a little hope. The only way for you to get through this, is to keep your head down, do not give him any shit on this or he will eat you alive.
And I’m sorry to tell you, but you won’t only be fighting him, that’s just the way it is. It might not seem like it now, but you’re one of us, you gave us our first niece and that means something, so we’re gonna go to bat for you. Just don’t do anything that would make it seem like you’re going against him, or this bunch will be on your ass like a condor on carrion, the women included.”
“Ty, you’re not helping.”
“I’m just trying to be honest Con, what the fuck?” My head was starting to hurt worse. How had I handled things so poorly? I had thought for sure that after the last few days and nights, after we’d reconnected, that he would’ve handled this better, I guess I was wrong. I kept seeing that look on his face, replaying the moment it took all six of his brothers to take him down, and now my little girl was with him. Not that I thought he would harm her, but he was so angry.
“This isn’t right, whatever she did, that’s her baby.” Gaby wrapped her arm around one shoulder and Dani the next as they turned to look at their men. Both Logan and Connor sighed and rubbed their foreheads.
I wonder if any of them realized that over the years they’d picked up each other’s mannerisms, or that they finished each other’s thoughts. I could do with some of that camaraderie myself, but Ty was right, this bunch will stick together. And even though the girls were trying to be supportive of me right now, when it was all said and done they’d side with their men.
“There’s no point in all of you getting your panties in a twist, because at the end of the day, Zak’s t
he only one you have to watch out for, and in case you’ve all been under a rock for the last little while, that fucker’s not the sanest motherfucker in the pack.”
“Ty for fuck sake would you stop? We’re trying to diffuse the situation not make it worse.” Logan tried to cut him off but we all knew he was telling the truth.
“Yeah, good luck with that. Nessa, if I were you, I’d let this shit play itself out, nothing you think will work is gonna. You’re not dealing with the average Joe here and you know it. What you did is fucked no two ways about it, and trying to pretend any different isn’t gonna help.” He glared around the room at the others. I guess I didn’t have to ask how he felt about the situation; I can only imagine that Zak felt ten times stronger about it.
I sat there with a hole in my heart and a weight in my gut as everyone threw around ideas of the best way to handle the situation. “I’m sorry I brought this here with all that’s going on.” Shit, I had all but forgotten that they were dealing with something here. “Are you kidding me, you were right to bring her here.” Connor knelt next to my chair and patted my knee. “Look, shit’s all over the place right now, you feel cornered and scared, that’s understandable. But no one in this room wants to see anything happen but what’s best for you and our niece. Just do like Lo and the jackass said, keep your head down, don’t give him a reason, please don’t give him a reason.”
They all had their own little piece of advice, but I couldn’t really take anything in. Two years ago Zak had given me an ultimatum that just wasn’t doable for me at the time. He wanted me to opt out of signing up again, which I couldn’t do. I had a plan you see, had it all mapped out, and wasn’t about to change it because I’d fallen in love.
Maybe if he hadn’t been so forceful about it. Back then I resented the way he thought he only had to say something to make it so. I wanted his respect as a marine, wanted him to see me as something more than a bedmate, which I knew now wasn’t fair, he’d never treated me as anything less than his.
ZAK SEAL Team Seven Book 3 Page 6