“Respect, Tinker,” his father warned.
“Well,” Tinker said snidely. “With all due respect, stay out of my business and let me do my job. Alright?”
And with that, Tinker turned and walked out of the door, slamming the door closed behind him. Fuck! He knew he’d get his ass handed to him later, but… Shit!
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his anger. Anger he didn’t even know why he had. They’d asked simple questions. The same questions they would have asked anyone else. So, why had it pissed him off? Why was he on the defensive?
Because you have feelings for her, dumbass. And you know it’s wrong. Tinker placed his hands flat on the wall and leaned into them, with his head hanging down.
Fuck! Shit! Damn! Hell!
He knew he was in trouble. But standing there in the hallway, Tinker made a promise to himself – no mixing business and pleasure, that would only get one or both of them killed. Plus, Keily didn’t need a man like him. She didn’t need someone who was full of secrets. Someone who couldn’t be honest about where he was going. Someone who would sometimes up and vanish in the middle of the night if he got a phone call. Keily needed someone to hold her at night while she slept. Someone to fall asleep with every night, and then wake up with every morning. She needed someone who could be open and honest.
And that most certainly wasn’t Tinker.
“You alright, man?” Joker asked.
Tinker pushed away from the wall, and said, “I need a fucking drink.”
Joker smiled and as Tinker walked over to him, he slapped him on the back. “Now that is something I can agree with, son!”
Together, they both headed toward the bar in the back of the clubhouse. But as they passed through the living room, Beth stopped them.
“Keily is in the room next to yours,” she told Tinker. “She’s pretty upset. I think you should go speak to her.”
Tinker sighed.
“Tink, you’re the only person she truly trusts.”
“Am I?” he asked, suddenly irritated again. “Did you not see the way she looked at me? Like I was a monster.”
Beth shook her head. “You are not a monster, Tinker. You are a hero, and don’t you ever forget that.” The steel laced through her tone almost had him believing her. “You, your cousins, your dad, and uncles – y’all protect people who have no idea they even need protecting. And yes, sometimes the jobs suck. Sometimes you have to do things you aren’t proud of, but that doesn’t make you a monster. Got it?”
Tinker nodded his head.
“I’m serious.” Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t you ever let me find out you are thinking that way, again. I swear to God, I’ll put my foot so far up your…”
“I got it!” Tinker interrupted her. “No need for violence. I get the point.”
“Good,” she replied. “Not go talk to her.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Turning to Joker, who was hiding a smile behind his hand, Tinker rolled his eyes and said, “Raincheck on that drink.”
“You got it.” He chuckled.
Tinker walked down the hall and passed the door to his bedroom. If Beth put Keily next to his, it would have to be after it since Tuck’s room was on the other side.
Stopping outside, he took a deep breath, then knocked. He suddenly felt like this was a horrible idea. But as he started to turn away, he heard Keily’s soft voice say, “Come in.”
So, he opened the door and when his eyes met hers, Tinker swore under his breath. “Why are you crying?” he asked, as he entered the room and closed the door. He wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but her eyes still held fear.
This was for sure, a bad idea, he thought to himself.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Keily
She didn’t know what to tell him. Honestly, Keily didn’t know why she was crying. Maybe it was the emotional overload? Or maybe… Hell, who was she kidding, it was definitely emotional overload. Simply put, Keily wasn’t cut out for all of this. All she wanted was a normal, quiet, simple life and to raise her daughter in peace. However, what she got, was anything but.
“Keily, talk to me,” Tinker said, still standing by the door.
She wished he’d just come and grab her, pull her close, and tell her everything would be okay, but that wasn’t the case. Keily knew she’d hurt his feelings. But she didn’t know how to fix it. What was done, was done. And obviously, apologizing wasn’t enough.
“I…” Her breath caught. “I don’t know.”
He took a step toward her, then backed up. “I’m so sorry this is all happening to you,” Tinker said. “I promise I will find a way to end it.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant, and a large part of her didn’t even want to know, so she remained quiet. Glancing over at Emily, asleep in a portable crib, Keily just let her mind wander.
How had Beth done it? Or Amber? Or Rachel? she thought to herself. How did the raise children in this environment? Keily couldn’t imagine the fear they constantly felt.
She’d tried to lie down, but the moment she closed her eyes, the image of the guy dead on her living room floor invaded her head causing her eyes to pop back open.
A knock on the door pulled her from the memory. “Come in,” Keily called.
The door slowly opened, and she smiled a bit to see Rachel and Amber walk in carrying a tray filled with food.
“We thought you might need something to eat,” Amber said.
“Thank you,” Keily replied.
She wasn’t sure if her stomach would handle it, but she’d try. After all, food made everything better, right?
“I’ll just…” Tinker backed away, closer to the door. “Go. I’ll check in on you later.” And with that, he left.
Keily looked at Amber as the other woman watched her son’s retreating back. Keily recognized the worry on her face. A mother’s worry for her child.
“Is he alright?” Keily asked softly after the door had closed.
Amber turned to look at her. “Honestly, I don’t know.” She sighed. “Anyway, it’s nothing much but I thought a few snacks might help.”
“Food always makes me feel better,” Rachel chimed in.
“Same.” Keily smiled.
The other two women climbed up on Keily’s bed and sat with their legs crossed as she picked at a few things on the tray. The fresh fruit was sweet and delicious and seemed to hit the spot.
They all sat there quietly until Rachel started to speak… “When I first moved in with the DH, I was a ‘club girl’.” She laughed. “I was horrible at it.” She closed her eyes and shook her head.
“What’s a club girl?” Keily asked.
“A female who sleeps with all the patched members,” Amber said drily.
Shocked, Keily mouth fell. “No, you didn’t!”
“No.” Rachel laughed harder. “I didn’t. That’s why I was so horrible at it.”
“Why would you want to be a club girl?” Keily questioned.
This entire lifestyle was new to her. Keily had so many questions, but she didn’t even know where to start. She wanted to know everything.
“I needed protection,” Rachel replied, all humor gone.
Keily just continued to look at her.
“Back then, I had a really crappy past and it eventually caught up to me.” Rachel looked toward the wall. She seemed as if she were teleported back to that time in her life. So, Keily remained silent, not wanting to intrude. “One night. Actually, it was the night of Amber and Reaper’s wedding.” The corner of Rachel’s lip lifted slightly. “I had been outside. Not here, though. At the old clubhouse. But anyway, I had been outside and out of nowhere, I felt a splitting pain in the back of my head. My past had resurfaced and beat the hell out of me. Left me for dead on the DH’s back porch.”
“Oh, my God!” Keily’s hand covered her mouth. Tear sprung to her eyes again.
“Diesel found me.” Again, the corner of her mouth lifted, this time, a bit higher. “He
played nursemaid until I was better. Told horrible penis jokes.” Rachel groaned.
“Penis jokes?”
“Please do not ask him about it,” Amber interjected. “He will go on and on for hours.”
“The man knows like two-hundred different names for the word penis.” Rachel looked at Keily, brows raised. “Seriously. Two-fucking-hundred.”
“Wow,” she giggled.
“Yep,” Rachel and Amber said in union.
“Anyway,” Rachel continued with her story. “Time passed and one night, Diesel and I were at his house. Lying in bed, asleep. And then this loud noise woke us both up. Diesel went downstairs to see what it was.” Again, Rachel looked toward the wall, but this time it seemed as if she were looking straight through it. “My past was back. But this time, they weren’t taking any chances. They set the house on fire with Diesel and me in it.”
Keily sucked in a breath. Her eyes shot to Amber, who only nodded.
“Diesel tried to help me, but the smoke was too much.” Rachel bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know how the guys knew that we needed them, but suddenly they were there. I remember screaming down to Reaper for help. Diesel had passed out. Somehow, I man-handled him enough to get him over to the window where Reaper was standing with a ladder. He got Diesel on his shoulder and carried him down the ladder. I remember staring into his eyes as he climbed back up to get me…”
Whatever was about to come next, Keily knew it was bad. She could tell by the stiffness in Rachel’s shoulders and the sadness on Amber’s face.
“The beam from the ceiling fell. It collapsed from the heat and fire damage.” She turned and finally made eye contact with Keily. “And landed on top of me. The weight broke the floor beneath me and caused me and the beam to fall to the first floor.”
Tears started to leak from Keily’s eyes.
“I still have no idea how I got out.” She shrugged. “I mean I know what the guys told me. But I don’t remember any of it. That day, I lost the use of my legs. It took me years of hard, bone-grilling physical therapy to get to where I am today.”
Keily wiped away the tears that had fallen. Her heart broke for Rachel, but at the same time, it swelled with pride. The woman had been through a lot and her ability to overcome it all paid homage to her internal strength.
“My story isn’t as bad as Rachel’s,” Amber said. “But still. I was in an abusive relationship before I met Reaper. I thought he was a great guy. The one.” She put the last words in air quotes. “Turns out, he was just another piece of shit loser.”
“Wow.”
“Reaper, Sledge, and Diesel helped me to get free.” Amber smiled.
“The point of these stories is.” Rachel cleared her throat. “The guys, while they may seem gruff, arrogant…”
“Assholey-ish,” Amber added, causing everyone to giggle.
“But they mean well,” Rachel finished. “They’re protective. And they’ve taught their sons to be the same way. These guys – all of them – will lay their lives down to protect you and yours. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Rachel asked.
Keily thought for a moment, then said, “I think so.”
“What she’s saying is,” Amber clarified. “Give Tinker a bit of slack. Trust him. He knows what needs to be done and he will do it. But, for him to protect you and Emily, you have to allow him.”
Keily nodded. She understood that, but there was still that same question circulating my mind. “How do y’all do it?” she asked.
“Do what?” Amber inquired.
“How do y’all deal with the death? The fear?”
“It’s hard.” Rachel sighed.
“Damn hard,” Amber agreed.
“But we love these guys,” Rachel continued. “My kids, Amber’s kids, Beth’s… They belong to us all. And to be honest, it’s that love that pulls us through the dark times. Granted, it’s a rule to never bring work home with you, but sometimes, like now – shit happens.”
“Every time I close my eyes…” Keily shook her head as the image flashed.
“It’ll pass,” Amber said quietly, rubbing her back gently like a mother would soothe her sad child. It was a nice feeling and suddenly, Keily wished her mother were still alive. “Just give it time.”
Changing the subject, Keily had another question. “Is Sledge going to force me to leave with that Williams guy?”
“No,” Amber and Rachel said.
“Sledge would never force you to do anything that you don’t want to do,” Amber explained. “And I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother. Sledge has a strong set of morals. And he lives by them. So, don’t worry. If you don’t want to leave, then you’re not.”
Keily nodded. “Good. Because something about that man’s voice puts me on edge. I’ve heard it before but can’t place it.”
“Well, don’t stress over it,” Rachel said. “I’ve found that if I just let it go, it will eventually come to me out of the blue.”
“You’re probably right.”
“Alright.” Amber tapped her thigh. “You try to get some rest. Tinker will be back to check on you later.”
“Okay,” Keily agreed.
Both women reached over and lightly hugged her before heading toward the door. Opening it, Rachel exited the room, but Amber froze and turned back to her. “Just remember, these guys carry a lot of darkness within them.” She smiled sadly. “Because darkness exists in this world whether we see it or not. So, when the time comes, be his light. Please.” And with that, Amber left too, softly closing the door behind them.
Keily sat there for a moment trying to understand the meaning behind the other woman’s words. Why did she need to be Tinker’s light? There was nothing between Tinker and Keily. They were just friends if that’s even what it could be called. Keily liked Tinker, a lot, but to him, she was just a job…
Moving the tray of food to the other side of the queen-sized bed, she stretched out. She laid there for a long time listening to the soft hum of the air conditioner coming through the vents. She felt bone-tired, but the thought of closing her eyes caused her anxiety to erupt. She was scared. There was no other word for it.
She had no idea how much time had passed, but she fought the pull as long as she could. Her eyelids had long grown heavy. Keily closed them for a moment, intending to just rest them a bit. She sent up a silent prayer that she wouldn’t fall asleep…
But Keily had no such luck.
In a matter of minutes, sleep took her under, and the terror began. One nightmare after another seemed to plague her mind. An endless, repeating loop, that left her screaming out for help...
The chase was on…
She had to keep going…
If she stopped, the man with a hole in his head would catch her…
He’d kill her daughter, then turn the gun on her… Keily dashed around trees… jumped over fallen limbs… crashed through the underbrush that ripped at her skin… All while holding Emily close to her heart. “It’s okay, Princess. Mommy’s got you.”
Keily ran. She jumped. She dodged….
And then, she tripped over something unseen, and there he was… He pulled a screaming Emily from her arms… A gun glistened from the evening sun as he pointed it toward her head and a loud pop was all she heard before Emily laid limp at her feet… And the cycle repeated itself….
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tinker
He heard a scream. Keily’s scream.
Jumping off his bed, he rushed out of the room. Tuck’s head poked out of his room because he’d heard the same thing. Without saying a word, Tinker turned the knob to Keily’s room and opened the door. He saw as she thrashed around on the bed. A tray of fruit laid scattered on the floor and Emily cried from her crib. Quickly, Tinker walked over and lifted the baby, cradling the tiny girl against his chest.
“Shhh,” he whispered soothingly. “It’s okay. I got you, wee one.”
Then he turned back to Keily and still holding Emily, he c
limbed on the bed and gently shook her. “Keily,” he said softly. But she still didn’t wake up. Whatever nightmare she was having, it had its hooks in her. “Keily,” he repeated with a bit more force.
“Everything okay?”
He looked to see his mom and dad standing in the doorway.
“I think she’s having a nightmare.”
“Give me the baby,” his mom said, coming to grab Emily. “We’ll take care of her. You handle Keily.”
He gave the baby to his mom and she headed back out the door. “Let’s go find this one something to eat and a new butt, Zander.”
As they walked out of the room, Tinker made eye contact with his dad. His old man didn’t look happy, but Tinker would have to deal with that later.
He turned back to Keily as he heard the door close lightly. “Keily,” he said again, this time with even more force. He shook her a bit harder as he tried to pull her from whatever was troubling her sleep. “Keily!” This time, he almost shouted.
She shot straight up in the bed, her arm almost connecting with his nose. “Whoa!” he said. “Calm down. It’s me. Tinker.”
Her wild eyes turned toward him, slightly unfocused. She blinked several times until her brain finally registered that she was no longer asleep.
“Tinker?” she asked. His name sounded like a blessing falling from her lips. “Tinker!”
Surprised, he wrapped his arms around her and planted one foot on the floor to keep them from tumbling to the floor when she flung herself into his lap. Her arms wrapping around his neck as she clung to him. The air sawed out of her lungs.
“Shh,” he told her. “It’s okay.”
“No,” she cried. “It was awful.”
“You’re alright,” he assured her. “You’re safe.”
“Emily!” she pulled away from him, searching the room for her daughter.
“She’s fine,” he said quickly. “She is with my mom. She’s feeding her and changing her diaper.”
“I need to see her!” Keily said frantically.
“Alright,” Tinker replied. “But first, let’s calm down so you don’t frighten her.”
Tinker's Dilemma: Devil's Henchmen MC Next Generation, Book One Page 13