Debase (Elite Bratva Brotherhood Book 1)

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I smirked at that. “What? You don’t like cleaning dishes?”

  “Your dishes are spotless, and you know it.”

  “I like order.”

  She snorted.

  “I also like being alone, and yet here we are.”

  “Yes. Here we are.” She swallowed, gazed at my mouth for a few brief seconds, and then her eyes flickered away like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t.

  I ignored my own racing pulse right along with the fact that for some insane reason, I wanted to pull off my gloves and cup her face, hold her close and feel her pulse beneath her skin.

  Shaking with rage that she would try to conjure that out of me, I spat, “What useless thing were you doing before they locked you up?”

  She frowned. “I’m only twenty-one.”

  “I know.”

  “I was in school.”

  I grinned. “Eagle Elite?”

  She sucked in a sharp breath. “They pulled me out.”

  “Because they wanted to keep you alive,” I said plainly. “And we all know who runs the University.”

  “My family used to.”

  “Your fucking family is lucky to still be breathing, parasites, every single one of them.”

  “Better a parasite than a rapist and murderer,” she snapped back at me.

  I grabbed her by the throat and shoved her back against the wall. “I’m not the rapist.” I released her throat and adjusted my jacket. “Get some sleep. I’ll take care of everything.”

  “Everything?”

  “Are you seriously going to question everything I do to keep you safe? Now I have to keep you entertained? I liked you better when you were afraid.”

  “I’m petrified!” she yelled. “But I’m out of options! I don’t think I have anything left to lose!”

  At that, I sighed. “Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how much you have left to lose, not yet, and hopefully for you, not ever. I’d say a prayer tonight if I were you. Because the minute you were brought into this club, your clock started ticking, and one day time will run out. I’d pray for a miracle because even I can’t protect you from them if they find out and decide to shoot.”

  She was silent then.

  And for reasons I refused to contemplate, I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. “Be ready by eight.”

  She put a hand to her cheek and then dropped it.

  My smile was smug as she jerked open the door to her bedroom and then slammed it in my face.

  “Goodnight to you too,” I said into the darkness, and then I went into my own fortress and stupidly stayed up too late wondering how I could make it so she was here a bit longer.

  If only to aggravate me to death until I tried killing myself next year.

  So much anger in those eyes.

  So much life.

  Huh, that’s what it looked like.

  Being human.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Alice

  I didn’t sleep.

  I was too confused.

  Too hurt.

  Upset.

  I had no life anymore, not that I’d had one before, I just didn’t know how to navigate not only Andrei’s mood swings but the fact that I knew if I pushed him too far he wouldn’t hesitate in shooting me or torturing me. He gave off this vibe that humanity meant nothing to him, and looking at what he ran, I understood it, finally understood why he called himself a monster.

  I shivered under the covers and finally threw them over and got up. I’d slept in the stupid dress because I didn’t have anything else to sleep in, and I didn’t want to piss him off again by asking to borrow a shirt.

  I was just about ready to walk across the hall to the bathroom when I noticed a note on my closet door.

  “Open.”

  That’s all it said, “open.”

  Creepy. Was he in there last night? Watching me sleep like Twilight gone bad? I shivered again then walked over to the closet door and swung it open. Immediately, a light turned on.

  I gasped.

  Tons of jeans, leggings, shirts, sweaters, dresses, enough clothing that it would have taken someone at least an hour or two to hang everything.

  How had he done it in the middle of the night?

  I walked into the closet and did a small circle. Heels, Nikes, sandals. Did that mean I was staying longer than a few days? Did that mean he was going to give me a job or something to do?

  I didn’t have time to think beyond that, because there was a knock on my door and then Andrei was letting himself in.

  “Good, you found clothes.” He sounded bored.

  I put my hands on my hips and then realized I probably looked like I’d been run over by a truck, dark circles under my eyes and messy hair, wearing last night’s tight dress.

  Perfect.

  He stared at my toes then slowly made his way up, his expression somber, and then a small smile. “Trouble sleeping?”

  “You could say that,” I said through clenched teeth.

  “I have a doctor in the family. I’ll grab you something to help you sleep.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Would I wake up?”

  “Depends.” He leaned against the closet door. “Would you want to?”

  I scowled, irritated that he always had to make everything about death and darkness and couldn’t just have a normal conversation.

  Then again, nothing about him was normal.

  He was wearing black skinny jeans, a V-Neck shirt that showed off an expanse of tattoos on his chest and his blond hair was combed a bit to the side, he looked.

  Nice.

  In fact, I hated it.

  He looked approachable.

  Like the really hot guy you see at the mall and daydream about after you make a fool out of yourself stalking him and trying to snag a picture for Instagram.

  He held out a hanger.

  And on that hanger.

  Was my freedom.

  Or as much freedom as I would ever get offered.

  I stumbled toward him and grabbed the hanger. “An Eagle Elite uniform?”

  “Mmm.” He tilted his head. “Wouldn’t want the princess to get bored in her dark tower.”

  I instantly felt guilty. “Look, I appreciate what you did, rescuing me from—”

  He moved so fast I didn’t have a chance to prepare for it. He cupped a hand over my mouth, his eyes flashing with fury. “Never, ever say that again. I’m not the hero. Remember that when you close your eyes, when you want to say thank you. I’m as selfish as they come, as lethal as can be, and nothing on this godforsaken earth is free. Do. You. Understand?”

  I nodded.

  He didn’t move.

  His face suddenly paled as he looked down.

  What was he looking at?

  And that’s when I realized.

  He wasn’t wearing gloves.

  His hand was touching my mouth.

  Skin on skin.

  He was warm.

  Why did I expect him to be so cold? Why did I assume he’d be unfeeling? Instead, he was buzzing with warmth, his fingertips giving off zaps of pleasure that made absolutely no sense as we stood there at a standstill, me trying to figure out if he was going to lose it and him probably trying to keep from doing exactly that.

  He inhaled slowly.

  Exhaled.

  And yet he didn’t move his hand.

  Tension built between us. His body had grown taut with something I couldn’t really define, but there was a violence in his stillness, like a storm ready to rain hell.

  I wasn’t sure what to do, so I stared him down, and I breathed, I kept in cadence with his breaths and then the little light in the closet turned off, probably from our lack of movement.

  His hand stayed, he lowered his head, then slowly slid his palm across my face. It fell to my cheek as he cupped it. His fingertips were soft, his movement silky.

  “You’re too warm,” he whispered like it was a problem, like he didn’t understand why it was a problem
, just that it was. His head ducked again. This time, his cheek pressed to mine, his lips parted.

  I closed my eyes.

  Berating myself for feeling anything other than horror that he was touching me, the man who would kill me, the man who was both savior and Satan.

  “So fucking warm.” He nipped my lower lip.

  I gasped as he pressed his hard body against mine and slid his tongue past my lower lip.

  This wasn’t him.

  This kiss.

  This was something else.

  This was almost tender.

  This felt scorching and heartbreaking all at once, as he tilted his head and deepened the kiss, his hand never leaving my face, his body pinning mine to the wall. I felt him everywhere, through his clothes, the heat of his body, the strength of his muscles, and the way he seemed to control even the air around us as he kissed me deeply drank even deeper, made me react in a way I wanted to be embarrassed about as I gripped his shirt, wondering what I was doing when I hated any sort of male touch.

  But his touch was the first touch I’d had from the opposite sex that wasn’t mocking.

  It was tender.

  And it was breaking my heart more than the other kisses ever did.

  The light flickered on.

  He stopped kissing me, stepped away, ran shaky hands through his hair, and snapped. “Put on the damn uniform.”

  And then he was gone.

  And everything went back to normal in my mind. Because I knew, it was my fault. I was the one that had that effect on men, wasn’t I?

  That’s what my brother said.

  It’s what my dad said was my curse.

  I was doing this to him, right?

  My fault. My fault.

  My only solace was that he didn’t try to touch me, and that for once in my life, I could imagine, I could dream, and I could lie to myself that the kiss was real.

  When I knew, he would hate himself for it, the way he hated me.

  Just like everyone hated me.

  For being nothing but me.

  A woman born in the wrong family.

  With the wrong name.

  And pretty hair.

  With tears in my eyes, I grabbed the uniform shoved into my hands then very slowly hung it up and started to change.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Andrei

  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking as I grasped my phone between them and sat on the couch, my knees bumping up and down like I needed another hit of something before I lost my mind.

  I couldn’t stop shaking.

  Couldn’t stop feeling her warm skin.

  No matter how bad I wanted to.

  I tasted her.

  I felt her on me.

  On my skin.

  In the air I breathed.

  I didn’t know how to handle it.

  Because in all my twenty-two years it had never happened before, I’d never had such a violent reaction to another human, so aggressive that I would hurt her, I would hurt her to get more, so I yelled, so I stepped away to protect her from me.

  Shit.

  My phone lit up with a text from Phoenix.

  Phoenix: How goes hell?

  Me: You tell me.

  Nixon, Chase, Sergio, Dante, and Tex were added. Perfect. Just Perfect. I was having a midlife crisis at twenty-two, and they wanted me in on another group text?

  Phoenix: You seem… strained. Doesn’t he, guys? Like his whore maybe isn’t giving him what he really, really, really needs.

  Me: Don’t make me kill you.

  Phoenix: Huh, you’re probably already dead inside, or did your heart do a little… flutter?

  Tex: Flutter? What the hell is a flutter? It should do a hell of a lot more than flutter, my man, like think of your dick as a…

  Sergio: The fact that I have to interrupt this and explain human anatomy should shock me. It doesn’t. And Tex re-read, he was talking about his heart, you ass, not his dick. Though, I get why you’d be so focused on yours since it’s so small…

  Chase: Burnnnnn

  Nixon: Yes, let’s bring that back, burn… Are we twelve?

  Me: Is there a reason you guys decided to come in and ruin my day by traumatizing me about Tex’s dick or is this just another Wednesday?

  Phoenix: Wednesday.

  Dante: I can’t get flutter out of my head.

  Nixon: Same, man, same.

  Me: I’ve never fluttered, not once, and I’m pretty sure flutter and dick shouldn’t be in the same sentence. I’m leaving gossip hour; I have shit to do.

  Phoenix: We know… because as of midnight last night the Eagle Elite computer system was hacked, and a girl by the name of Alice was added as a junior.

  I thought I’d have more time, good thing I hadn’t added in her last name yet. They’d think it was a clerical error and then I would lay out my cards.

  Me: Oh?

  Chase: It’s almost insulting when you play dumb, dumb ass, besides thought her name was Black Widow?

  I grinned down at my phone, my shaking subsided just barely when I thought of pissing Chase off.

  Me: She was bored. And the idea of her cleaning toilets and sucking dick wasn’t very appealing.

  Phoenix: Oh, so she’s been servicing you and your toilets? Interesting.

  Sergio: I don’t buy it.

  Nixon: You barely touched her.

  Chase: You literally kept your gloves on the entire time you were touching her, and I know why, we all know why you don’t like human contact but when you have a beautiful woman in your arms that reasoning kind of dies a very quick death.

  Tex: Between boobs.

  Dante: I don’t think his hands should be just like, laying between her boobs, guys. Don’t give him false information. Plus, we all know he’s an ass guy.

  Phoenix: Do we, though?

  Me: Is there a point to this?

  Sergio: Just that if you wanted her enrolled it would make sense to come to us and get it done.

  I sighed, hanging my head a bit as I typed back.

  Me: Full disclosure, we got in a fight. I was trying to make it better by doing it faster than your grandpa hands could.

  Tex: Haha get it, because he’s old as fuck!

  Sergio: Can someone put a muzzle on Tex?

  Phoenix: You should have let us know, given us a heads up.

  Me: Well, I figured I can’t fly under the radar anymore, may as well ask for forgiveness than permission. Plus, you know I don’t like using too many words. Hurts my throat, and I’d rather have something else that deep if you get my meaning.

  Chase: It’s really no shock that you’re single.

  Dante: None at all.

  Tex: How deep?

  Sergio: My. God. You’re an asshole.

  Nixon: Look, just shoot us a text next, time. When are you going in? Phoenix set up the new dean at the beginning of the semester. It’s one of the Abandonato cousins who doesn’t have a stomach for blood.

  My eyebrows shot up.

  Me: And they think they won’t see blood at EE? That’s hilarious. What did you do? Lie to him repeatedly and promise him nothing but staff meetings and teacher luncheons for the rest of his days?

  Nixon: Er, something like that.

  Me: Let me know how that works out for you when he runs away screaming from all the bloody bodies and guns.

  Chase: It’s more refined now that the De Langes are less of a problem.

  Me: Right.

  Phoenix: Let us know if you need anything, and for future reference, if you’re girl’s mad at you, it’s probably because you called her a whore during family dinner.

  Me: Why would I lie to you?

  Nixon: Why… indeed.

  Me: Nixon, I say this out of both love and hate, go shoot something before you lose your temper. We get in a fight, and I end your life.

  Tex: This I would pay to see.

  Me: I don’t have all day to take out all the Italians, that would take more planning, but I do have time to take a
girl who’s still pissed off to school where I’m going to piss her off more.

  Phoenix: Fingers crossed she doesn’t draw first blood.

  Too late, she already did. I stared down at my phone and almost typed those words

  It was an odd thing to think.

  Me: I have it under control.

  Dante: Doubtful. Highly doubtful.

  Dante might have gone to school with me for a few months but he didn’t know me, not in that way. He only knew me as the part I played, his enemy, to flush out the double crossing.

  He had no clue the sort of man I was now.

  The things I would do.

  The guilt I felt.

  I tossed my phone against the couch as Alic — six thirty-two made it down the hall in her short black skirt, black and red jacket, and white shirt. She had a pair of black nylons on and high heels that made her legs go on for days.

  I licked my lips and stood, looking away and fishing my phone from the couch. “Ready?”

  “Yeah, I was…” She sighed. “Wondering if you had a protein bar or something—”

  She covered her stomach with her hand.

  I immediately felt like shit, again.

  Her hand was shaking.

  Did she have low blood sugar?

  Why the hell did I care?

  She was a product.

  A thing.

  Barely human.

  So fucking warm.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and leaned against the counter top, sucked in a few deep breaths and then rasped out, “Yeah, one sec.”

  I went to the cupboard and grabbed a few protein bars then realized that she’d probably need lunch too.

  How the hell had I turned into this guy in the span of twenty-four hours? From calling her a whore to making sure she had a sack lunch?

  Phoenix would shit a brick and then break a rib from laughing so hard.

  “Thanks.” She took the bars.

  I grabbed the bag I’d had Ax buy for me first thing that morning, I was trying to go for something that wouldn’t look too expensive and had probably failed since it was Gucci, but I liked things that looked nice, that complimented each other, and I liked the idea of her with white leather. She had everything she’d need in there except—