by Stacy Gail
Tomorrow was the last tattoo design reveal, and she still didn’t have one.
Eek!
The moment she sat up to swing her legs over the side of the bed, the arm around her waist hauled her back.
“Nope.”
She glanced over her shoulder at Tag’s seemingly sleeping face. “What do you mean, nope?”
“Still sleeping. A couple hours from now we’ll be fucking. Sleep now. Fuck later. No leaving. Nope.”
The man could be shockingly adorable when he wanted to be. “Sun’s coming up, honey. Gotta get a couple hours in on my tattoo design before I head in to work, and that’s not even counting all the rush-hour traffic I’ll have to fight just getting from here to my place. I know it sucks, but I have to go, Tag.”
A low growl escaped him and his arm didn’t budge. “Do your tat design here.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I’ve got everything you need here—every art supply you could possibly want. And you left some clothes over here earlier this week, so you have something to wear.”
“Yeah, dirty clothes I accidentally left behind.”
“So bring clean clothes tonight. In fact, bring everything when you come over from work tonight.”
She laughed in confusion. “What do you mean, everything?”
“I mean everything. Pack up your apartment and bring it here. I’ll help,” he added when she remained locked in stunned silence. “All this bouncing around and logistics shit, it’s making me dizzy. I never know if I’m going over to your place or you’re heading over to mine. Let’s just cut through the shit and consolidate everything into one place. Since my apartment takes up the entire fucking floor of this building, I’ve got the space for it, whereas your place doesn’t.”
Her heart began to pound. “Okay, so… Let’s be clear. You’re asking me to move in with you.”
His arm tightened around her, inching her toward him so he could nuzzle his face into her back. “I’m not exactly asking, tiger. Do it.”
That made her roll her eyes. Typical. “That’s a big step, Tag. We can talk about it when you’re more awake and I’m less pressed for time. But for now I’m serious—I really have to get going.”
He was still for a heartbeat before he opened his eyes and nailed her to the spot with a hard gaze. “Why don’t you want to move in with me?”
Holy crap. “Did I say that? Because I don’t remember saying that.”
“You’re fighting it.”
“I’m not fighting anything. What I am doing is being smart and not just jumping on a suggestion that’s life-altering, not to mention offered while you’re still half-asleep.”
“I’m wide awake. And what I’m hearing while I’m wide awake is that you don’t want to fucking move in with me.”
Danger, danger. “Tag, all I’m saying is that I think we both need to think about this before anyone makes any huge move.”
“What’s to think about? You move your shit in, you pick one of the many empty rooms I’ve got around here as your studio. You move all those kickass little dresses and high heels into that mostly empty closet over there, and I make room for your womanly shit in the bathroom. I give you a key, the passcode to the garage and the parking slot number next to the elevators, and I introduce you to the doormen so they’ll know you’re the building’s newest resident. We spend the days creating like the crazy artists we are, and we spend the nights fucking our brains out because we are off-the-charts awesome at that. So I ask you—what the fuck is there to think about?”
Well, when he put it like that… “We’ve known each other a month.”
“What the hell does that have to do with anything? Ivy.” He threw away the sheet covering him and sat up behind her, as naked as she was and about a billion times more distracting. “Time doesn’t mean shit when it comes to us. Whether I’ve known you a week, a month, a year, it doesn’t matter, and you know why? Because we fit. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on you while you waged war against me and the world around you,” he added before she could say a word. “Shit, you talk about a month. To me, it’s been forever since I realized we belong together. Tell me what I have to do to make you realize that, too.”
She turned to face him, because it would have been the height of cowardice to not look him straight in the eye for this discussion. “I don’t have the right to tell you what you have to do, honey. I know I love you, and you know it, too. I’ve been as honest as I can be about my feelings, and I’m not going to stop now. I want to wait on moving in together because that’s a big step. The biggest step in a person’s life, short of marriage and kids.”
“Ivy—”
“It’s not just a change-of-address card to me, Tag,” she went on, talking over him. “It might be to you, but it sure as hell isn’t that to me. In my mind, moving in together is a promise of permanence. It’s a commitment. I don’t think I can do that if I’ve got doubts about where you stand when it comes to how you feel about me.”
That made his brows slam down. “What the fuck, Ivy. You’ve got doubts about me?”
“About how you feel about me,” she stressed, trying to make him understand. “I’m not asking for big declarations of love or anything like that. I just need to know, in my heart, that you understand that I’m as serious as a heart attack when it comes to you. That when I think about the future, you’re in it. All the way to the end, you’re in it.”
“The future.” His chest heaved with a long breath, and he let it out while he raked a hand through his hair. “I think we’re arguing the same side here.”
“We’re not arguing.”
“Yeah, we are, but we don’t have to. Ivy,” he said when she opened her mouth to correct him, because goddamn it, she was not arguing anything, “I want you to move in with me—or fuck it, I’ll move in with you—because I’ve got the same thing going on in my head.”
It was her turn to stare at him. “What?”
“You talking about the future… I get that, because it’s the same way for me. You want to know what I see when I look into the future? I see you. For all the mornings when I first open my eyes, I see you curled up beside me, my little spoon. When I think of all the moments that life throws at me—exhibitions and travel and project reveals—all the crazy shit I’ve got going on, I see you there to celebrate those moments with me. I wouldn’t want to celebrate those moments if you’re not there to celebrate with. I need you to be there, or there’s no point to any of it. You give me purpose, the same way air gives me life. If I don’t have you, I have nothing. All the fame, the fortune, the notoriety… It’s all pointless. If I don’t have you, tiger, I don’t have a goddamn thing.”
The words rang like a song through her, and with the greatest gentleness, she cupped his cheek in her hand. “Look me right in the eyes, honey.”
He straightened a fraction. “I am.”
“Don’t look away.”
“Not possible. I could never look away from you.”
“Good. Now say…I love you.”
A spark lit those onyx eyes, and the brilliance of it took her breath away. It took her breath away, because all the way to her soul she knew what it meant. “You need that?”
“Dumbass.” Her lips curved as happiness spilled through her. In that moment, she could see what he felt for her even more than if he’d given her those words a thousand times over. “Yeah, I need that.”
“All right, then. I love you, Ivy.”
“I love you, Tag.”
“Yeah, but you called me a dumbass,” he went on, his own lips curving as he pulled her back onto the bed and rolled her over onto her stomach. “You know how I feel about disrespect, tiger.”
“I do.” Smiling, her cheek against mussed sheets that smelled like Tag, she got up on her knees, ass in the air. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Oh, yeah. I so fucking love you.” His mouth caressed a path over both cheeks of her ass a moment before he smacked his palm d
own on her.
That was when Ivy decided to call Ji to let her know she might be a few minutes late for work.
“I can’t believe this is happening.” Minnie moved like she’d been cursed with a terminal case of slow motion, carrying a single high heel from Ivy’s closet to drop it in a box Sharpie-marked “Books.” “You met Godzilla, like, three minutes ago. And in case you’ve forgotten, you hated him when you met him.”
“It hasn’t been three minutes. More like ten. And I can change my mind about people, especially when that particular person wears an XL condom and spoils me rotten.” Feverishly bent over her tablet, Ivy worked on blending the deepest eggplant purple, indigo, violet and mauve into a seamless gradient. Maybe if she added a hint of salmon right at the edge… “I don’t even know if this is a permanent thing, or if we’re just setting up to play house for a while. It’s nothing to get excited about.”
“I’m not excited. I’m freaked out.”
“Same difference.”
“I’m freaked out because everything feels like it’s changing, and it’s not just you I’m talking about.” Minnie surveyed the belt holder hanging on the closet door, then chose one to pack it away in the book box. “Shamar wants me to move in with him, too.”
That got Ivy’s attention. “Whoa. Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to?”
“I don’t know.” Minnie took a steadying breath and fiddled with the box’s flap. “When Tag asked you to move in, did you just jump at the chance, or did you wonder if you’d both lost your minds?”
“I didn’t jump at it right away, because I needed to know how Tag felt about me before I made that long-term commitment. Because that’s what moving in together is all about—seeing if you’ve found the place where you belong for the long haul.”
“I don’t know if I think of it in terms like that.” A troubled frown drew Minnie’s brows together as she turned back to the closet. “My brain is locked onto one thought only—staying safe. Staying safe doesn’t involve taking risks. Moving your entire life into another’s and trying to braid those two lives together to make it a cohesive single unit seems risky. Like, the most risky and unsafe thing a person could ever do.”
“If you don’t trust the person you’re, er, braiding with, then I guess it would seem that way.” Tapping the tablet to make sure she saved her work, Ivy swiveled around in her chair to study her friend. “Are you saying you don’t have that kind of trust with Shamar?”
“Are you saying you do have that kind of trust with Tag, when you’ve only just met him? I mean seriously, what do you know about him?”
Ivy nearly snorted. “Nice dodge, answering a question with a question.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.” Then she shrugged. “I know all I need to know, Minh. It’s almost impossible to put into words what I feel for Tag, because it’s so big, on so many levels. I just know I’ve found my purpose. My place. And it’s with him.”
“Wow,” Minnie whispered, looking at Ivy with something close to awe. “So you don’t have any regrets about moving in with Tag?”
“Technically speaking, I haven’t moved in with him yet.” And if Minnie was going to be in charge of getting her packed up and moved, she never would.
“And you didn’t feel even a little freaked out when he asked you to, you know…braid your life with his?”
“A little, I suppose.” She turned her attention back to her project, messed with it until she was satisfied with the overall visual impact, then set it aside with an air of finality. “Change is scary. Believing in someone you have no control over is scary. Giving them your heart is downright terrifying.”
“Tell me about it.”
“But,” Ivy went on, pushing to her feet to rescue the belt and shoe from the Books box, “you know what’s scarier?”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Minnie’s brow puckered. “Nothing? You mean nothing’s scarier than trusting someone?”
“No, I mean nothing. As in, there isn’t anything scarier than nothing ever happening in your life. You just stay where you are, as you are, because that’s the place where you know you’re safe. That’s the place where nothing changes. Every day is the same as the last—today, tomorrow, and all the rest of your tomorrows. There’s nothing but you in your safe little cocoon.”
Minnie’s swallow was audible. “That sounds like a nightmare.”
“Or a bad remake of Groundhog’s Day.”
“Like I said, a nightmare.” Minnie watched her haul a suitcase from the top shelf of her closet. “You know something, Ivy? You’re an incredibly strong person. I’ve always suspected as much, considering how you soldiered on after everything you’ve gone through. But now I think you’re probably the strongest person I know.”
“You’re sweet for saying that.” Ivy shot her friend a quick smile before grabbing up the contents of the bottom dresser drawer in one huge armful. “But I’m not sure I deserve it.”
“You do. You don’t get stuck on ‘what ifs’ like I do. I know I seem like I live life like a wild child, but I really don’t. I don’t let anyone close because I’m not sure I could handle it if they ever hurt me. But not you. You’re fearless. You’re not afraid to go for it because you know the secret to life.”
“I do?” That was news to her.
“Yeah.” Minnie smiled and picked up a stray sock Ivy had dropped. “You know it can all be over before you know it. Before you’ve done the things you always said you were going to do.”
Ivy dumped the armload of clothes into the suitcase. “Yeah. I guess I do know that.”
“That’s what makes you so amazing. You’re full-tilt all the time, because deep down you know we’ve all got an expiration date. So living full-tilt is what I’m going to do, too,” she decided, dropping the sock into the suitcase. “I’m not going to what-if myself out of this. I’m going to think about how I want my life to be next year, and five years from now, and twenty-five years from now. I don’t want to still be here, thinking what could have been if only I’d been strong enough to take a chance. I want to be more like you.”
“Then you have your answer, though personally I think you give me too much credit.”
“I doubt that.”
“When it comes to moving in with Tag, I’m not being strong or brave or whatever,” Ivy drawled, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t be certain about making this move if it weren’t for how incredible Tag is. He knows every last hidden piece of me, you know? He’s seen me at my worst, from my ugly flash-fire temper, to the part of me that fights and fights and fights, even when I don’t have to. And get this—he loves me anyway.”
“Wow,” Minnie said again, this time with a smile.
“Right? And believe me, I know everything there is to know about Tag. I told him from the beginning that my one rule was that he had to be honest with me, and he has. His past is something I’ll never share with you or anyone, except to say that it’s a miracle he’s as grounded as he is. He’s my miracle, and to know that he trusts me enough to share his deepest secrets means everything. That’s why I’m making this move, Minnie. I know I can trust that man with my life.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was a full house when Ivy, Tag and Payne took their seats behind the long table on the dais. Behind them were their veiled creations, the final tattoo designs of the challenge that started a lifetime ago, or so it seemed to Ivy. She had been a different person then—an incomplete person, though she hadn’t known that at the time. Tag completed her in ways that satisfied her all the way to her soul, and for that she’d be thankful every day of her life that she’d stormed into House Of Payne with the intention of blowing the place apart.
She was the one who’d been blown apart, in the best possible way.
”Here we are at last.” Seated behind a microphone, Payne smiled at the sea of reporters before him. “Today at the House, we unveil the fourth an
d final tattoo designs created by our talented urban artists, as well as let you all know the results of last week’s animal kingdom challenge. Ivy’s 3D cobra received five-hundred and two votes, and has already proven to be one of our biggest sellers in the snake design category. Not to mention my wife loves it, because it’s 3D and Becks loves anything 3D.”
Ivy had to bite down on her lips to keep from squealing like a fangirl. His wife, genius 3D artist Becks Delgado, was a personal hero of hers. If Becks gave her cobra design a stamp of approval, life couldn’t get much better.
“Tag’s tiger design received five-hundred and one votes, and I’ve personally inked seven clients this past week with that tat. So long story short, ladies and gents, this means Ivy won the animal kingdom category by a single vote. Congratulations, Ivy, and well done to both our artists.”
“Good job, tiger,” Tag said softly against her ear as he ran a caressing hand down her back.
She turned to smile into his eyes. Her man was so sweet.
“With the third challenge behind us, it’s time now to turn our attention to the final challenge—artists’ choice. With that, it’s time to unveil their designs.”
Ivy swiveled in her seat to watch as Scout tugged on the cords, dropping the veils from the two panels.
Considering that her own design hadn’t existed seventy-two hours ago, she was proud of what she’d come up with. Her design was a reflection of how she saw Tag and herself—a silhouette of lovers reaching out to each other. Within each silhouette was a shifting nebula of colors, planets and constellations—a universe housed within each person.
She could only hope he saw his own personal universe in her.
As proud as she was of her own design, it was Tag’s creation that brought tears to her eyes. He’d once said she was his missing piece, so when she saw the design of a heart-shaped lock that had a missing puzzle piece as the keyhole, and a key that was a puzzle piece, she couldn’t help but cry at the thought of what had been in his mind when he’d brought that image to life.