by Annie Adams
I carefully slid down the side of the roof. The pitch wasn’t nearly as sharp as that of a house. It was almost flat really, something I was grateful for since the snow had been sticking for a while. I made my way to the edge and peered over. Alex’s parents stood below near the ladder. They didn’t appear to know just where I was.
“Has anyone seen Santa? I came up here for a better view but there’s no sign,” I said.
“Quincy, what are you doing?” Jack said.
“What are you two doing here? How did you know where to find me?”
“Quincy, honey, we’re so sorry. We’re all so worried. I know life can be overwhelming sometimes, but you don’t need to do this. We’re here for you. Please come down and we can talk about things,” Eleanor said.
“I don’t know what you all think I’m doing up here, but I’m pretty sure you’re wrong. I’m fixing my cooler. You know—for the business I run?”
“I’m so sorry, Quincy,” Eleanor shouted. “I’ve been so mean to you.”
“What?” I shouted, “I can’t hear you through these elf ears.” I’d heard her just fine.
She cupped her mitten covered hands around her mouth. “I’m…very…sorry,” she yelled, enunciating every word. “I was terrible to you.”
I forced myself not to smile. I wanted to enjoy myself just a little longer.
“Quincy, this is ridiculous. Come down here,” she said. Sweet, apologetic Eleanor had been short-lived.
The snowflakes seemed to be getting larger. Or maybe there were just more of them. They collected on my hair like sheets of cottony gauze. I could see them in my peripheral vision as I looked down at the Coopers.
I knew Alex’s mother loved him so fiercely she’d probably do anything for him. Which was admirable. And maybe she’d been just as afraid of meeting me as I’d been of meeting her and her husband. But, maybe she’d also let her fears grow too big and take over. At least I hoped that’s why she’d treated me the way she had.
I saw Jack say something to Eleanor, then gesture toward me. “I’m sorry I called you a whore,” Eleanor said.
“A ten-dollar whore, Eleanor. That’s what you called me. And that’s where you’re wrong. I’m at least a fifty-dollar hoor.”
Eleanor threw her hands in the air. “Look, I don’t want your death on my conscience. Alex would never forgive me. Please just climb down. Carefully!”
I tucked my now wet hair behind my elf ears and stood up. “You know,” I shouted, “I’ve come up here so many times I can’t count them anymore. And I’m careful every time. I didn’t come up here, dressed like this, to clang on this compressor because I’ve got a desire to take up drumming. I come up here because I am careful. I’m careful to find ways to keep this business afloat.
“I can’t afford a new cooler, so I have to figure out a way to make the old one keep working. I’m not the smartest person, or the prettiest, and I didn’t know how to make stuffing, but I figured something out for that dinner, didn’t I?”
The Coopers looked at each other then back at me. “Now, Quincy—” Jack began.
I brushed my hands down in front of me, starting at my head and then pointing toward my toes. “Take it all in. Warts and all folks, this is what your son chose,” I pointed both thumbs at my chest. “I’ve tried so hard to make you like me, and not let my hurt feelings get in the way. I know who I am, most of the time, and I’m okay with that. Alex seems to be okay with who I am. And even though I’ll never live up to your expectations, I’ve got to find a way to make that work too. Because I love your son and I…” I sucked my breath in, wishing the act would un-say the words I had not only said out loud, but literally shouted from the rooftop.
The shock of what I had just done made me feel like throwing up. I grabbed at my stomach. It seemed ready to launch any second. I couldn’t have Alex’s parents watch me actually lose my cookies, since that’s all I’d had to eat the entire day, so I turned away from them. Which proved to be a mistake.
My back foot slipped as I turned and then the other foot zipped out from under me. Eleanor screamed. I landed face down in the cold slush, my legs dangling off the side of the building and the wind knocked out of me.
“Quincy, are you hurt?” Jack yelled.
I gulped like a fish on the shore trying to get my lungs to work again. After a very long pause I turned my head to the side, trying not to move any more than absolutely necessary.
“No, I’m okay,” I called as loudly as I could, given the state of my depleted lungs.
“Call for help, Eleanor,” Jack said. “Quincy stay there, I’m coming up to get you.”
“No!” Eleanor and I both yelled.
“I’m okay,” I said, “I just need to pull myself up and come down the ladder.”
I pushed up on my forearms then army crawled with them until my hips had cleared the edge of the building. Then I swung one knee up and used it to propel myself forward until I was completely on the roof. Once my whole body was on a solid surface, I rolled onto my back and watched the snowflakes, illuminated by the nearby billboard lights, torpedoing through the sky as I waited for my heart to stop racing.
“Quincy?” Jack called.
I turned my head to the side and stretched my neck, just enough to see Jack standing there alone. Eleanor must have gone for help.
“I’m fine, Jack. Just catching my breath,” I shouted out with a half-trembling voice.
The sound of Jack’s voice reminded me of his son’s. I pictured the last time I’d seen Alex at my house, with his parents getting a good look at my prostitute makeup after I’d just flashed a cop. That was the last image he had of me. What if I’d fallen all the way to the ground and been maimed or killed? I’d still be wearing that damned elf costume.
My face scrunched up and I cried, not because of the close call I’d had, but because I’d done one more—this time colossally—embarrassing thing in front of his parents. I’d gotten all uppity on my high-horse—no, make that roof—and then made a complete fool of myself. I put my freezing hands over my eyes for a minute, partially to hide from myself, but also to squelch the hot tears. But it was just too cold for such an indulgence, so I got back on hands and knees and crawled over to the ladder.
***
“That was a close one huh?” I said lightheartedly to Jack over my shoulder as I positioned myself to step onto the rusty metal ladder. “Sorry if I scared you.”
“Oh dear,” he said. “Just be careful there, Quincy.”
I heard the back door to the flower shop blast open. I could hear K.C.’s voice clearly. “I’ll save you, Boss!”
“Thank you everyone,” I shouted, “but I’m fine.” I rubbed my freezing hands together before stepping down to the first rung. As I placed all of my weight on the ladder, I heard an awful metal groan. The ladder disappeared from under me and for just a nanosecond, I was walking on air. I was frozen with fear. I knew I was about to fall to my death.
But I didn’t land.
My leg slid through the space between the rungs and I did a sort of cartwheel. I hung, suspended from the ladder, which seemed to have come unseated from its bolting to the roof, but only on one side. I was hanging upside down, looking away from the building at the Coopers and K.C. I could feel my leg slipping. I flailed my arms, blindly trying to find part of the ladder to cling to.
I made contact with my right hand and grabbed hold of the slippery cold metal. Giant, fluffy snowflakes crashed down around me. I silently begged the ladder to hold onto the building. My life was literally hanging by a rusty screw.
“Hang on, Quincy!” K.C. yelled. I heard something dragging. And figured it was probably the wobbly table from my system. “Hold it steady, Ellie, we’ve got to balance the table for Jack. We’re coming, Boss. Hold on tight! Jack, you climb up my back if you have to.”
I closed my eyes hoping to block out the Tilt-O-Whirl feeling that was pooling in my head. I could hear the sound of groaning metal I’d heard when the first s
ide of the ladder broke. My leg felt like it was slipping again and despite one hand hanging on to the ladder, I knew I wasn’t strong enough to hold my body weight with just one arm if my leg came loose. But if the other side of the ladder broke too, it wouldn’t matter how I gripped it.
I closed my eyes tighter and prayed.
“Quincy,” Jack called. “Are you still with us?”
I opened my eyes. Jack’s voice had come from beneath me, but when I tried to tip my head back to look at him the ladder moved and groaned again, which made Eleanor and K.C. shriek.
“Don’t move,” Jack said.”
Metal slammed into the wall below me. “Whoa,” they all shouted, but I couldn’t see what happened.
“Jack, be careful!” Eleanor cried.
“Some system! Boss, we just broke your table.”
“Quincy,” Jack said calmly, “we’re going to have to try something else. We’ll get you down though, don’t worry.”
“Thanks, Jack,” I said. “I just want to tell you guys that I’m sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused and for the mean things I said. You’re wonderful parents and I know you love your son. And he loves you.”
“He loves you too, honey,” I heard Eleanor say. “And so do we. Now just hold on, we’re coming.”
Despite my dire predicament, I smiled. At least I would die happy.
I couldn’t tell if it was the topsy-turvy view of the snow or all the blood rushing to my head, but I felt dizzy and my vision was blackening on the periphery. I knew I was about to pass out, but I also knew that I couldn’t if I wanted to survive.
I heard a vehicle turn into the parking lot, then a car door slamming and feet running through slush.
“Quincy!” Alex yelled. I immediately began to cry at the sound of his voice. I didn’t have to be brave anymore. He could be brave for me. To cover my blubbering, though, I tried jocularity.
“Hey, just hanging out with my friends here.” I opened my eyes, but between the tears and the snow and the haloed lights of the nearby billboard, everything was a blur. Also, my head felt like it was going to explode.
“K.C., where’s the ladder you had in the shop the other day?” Alex asked.
“It’s in the shed over there. But it’s locked,” she said, desperation thick in her voice.
I clearly heard a car door groan open, then a few seconds later, gunshots. Different voices were all talking at the same time now, and I couldn’t make anything out. Then I heard a different metal sound. It was the sound of an aluminum ladder being opened and someone climbing up its rungs.
I opened my eyes at the most beautiful, upside down sight I’d seen in my thirty-odd years. Alex was reaching out to me. “Grab on, babe. I’ve got you.”
He’d positioned himself under me so that, as I reached for him with my free arm, he could support my weight on his shoulder. He held me around the waist and then climbed higher on the ladder which finally put me and the world right side up again.
“We’re almost there, Q,” he said. “Can you grab the ladder with your right hand?”
I reached across my body and held on as best I could. The metal was cold and slippery, and my hands were frozen. “Okay, I’ve got it.” I wouldn’t let go, despite the fact I’d lost nearly all feeling in my fingers.
“You’re doing great. Now you’re going to pull your leg out and hang on tight.”
“Then what?”
“Then I’ll try not to drop you.”
I regretted all the stress-related binging I’d done lately. I’d probably gained more than a few pounds and he was about to shoulder them all.
I pulled my leg off the defective ladder and he supported my entire weight while I carefully maneuvered my feet on to his rungs. I clung to him so tight that I shook. Or maybe the trembling was due to my body temperature. We were sharing space on the ladder and needed to separate to climb down safely, but I couldn’t readily let go.
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ll go first—”
“Everything is numb. What if I slip?”
“I’ll be here. I won’t let you fall.”
The gunshots had attracted a crowd from those lingering after the celebration. When we reached the bottom of the ladder, the cheers and applause from the collected strangers made the mortification of the ordeal exponentially worse.
“Let’s get you inside,” Alex said.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“What in the hell were you doing on the roof?” Alex said once we were alone in the back room.
I was bundled up in my coat, then K.C.’s on top of that. She’d swaddled my head and neck with selections from her silk driving scarf collection. My legs were cocooned in blankets various people had taken from their cars.
“Fixing my compressor.” I looked up at Alex and saw that his eyes were glistening. “You can’t do that!” My eyes instantly became fountains. “See? You’re making me cry too.”
He swiped at his eyes with the back of his coat sleeve. “I’m not crying.” He pulled me in and held me tight. “Please don’t ever do that to me again.” I went to tuck my head under his chin and ended up knocking his face with a giant elf ear.
“Oof.” I cringed. “I can’t seem to quit being a pain to you.” I’ll never understand K.C.’s reasoning in leaving the ears on when she wrapped me up.
“You’re not a pain.” He smiled, slid the headband off that held the ears and rubbed his chin. “You just inflict pain.”
Unfortunately I couldn’t argue with that.
“My mom thought you were trying to kill yourself,” he said.
“What?”
“She said that Daphne said you were overwhelmed and you had gone to the roof.”
I thunked my forehead with the heel of my hand. “I don’t even know where to start. I’m so embarrassed.”
“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. It was her mistake.”
“No, I mean the whole scene.” My soaked tights began to itch from waist to toe. I moaned. “I didn’t even think about how my dress was hanging upside down too. Until now.”
“At least you were wearing the tights.”
“Yeah, no tissues hanging out this time either.” I sighed. “I’m embarrassed about how I looked, but even more embarrassed about the way I’ve behaved toward your mother. She’s just trying to protect you from the likes of me because she loves you.”
A lump grew in my throat and it felt like my heart was expanding in my chest as the blood pounded through it. The time had come to tell him. The nerves tingled all over my body. “Alex, I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I feel like I need to tell you that I lo—”
“How’s it going back here, Boss?” K.C. poked her head through the doorway and winked at us in way that involved half the muscles of her face.
K.C.’s interruption completely obliterated my momentum. I’d have to wait a while before I could build up enough courage again to tell Alex that I loved him. Or he could come swooping in and rescue me again, like he just had—but that would require another dangerous predicament on my part. I’d just stick with the excruciating buildup of angst.
“Oh my gosh,” I said. “I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Don’t you step foot out of this room!” K.C. said to me, stepping into the doorway and wagging her finger. She glanced at Alex and her eyes lingered a second before looking back at me.
I stood up and set the blankets aside. “Look, I’m fine.” I began to unravel the scarves coiled like a boa constrictor around my neck. “I can’t leave you guys alone to clean up.” Even though our three woman crew had kept on top of things during the open house, we’d still been understaffed. I couldn’t imagine what a mess had piled up while I was outside putting on my show, leaving only two people in the shop without any extra help.
Wait.
I turned back to Alex. “I thought you had to work tonight.”
He raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth as if to speak, but then paused.
“Oh, I�
��”
Jerome came running from the front of the shop.
“Who’s this?” Alex asked as the dog trotted over to him and jumped on his legs to be picked up. Alex obliged.
Just seeing the little guy warmed me up inside. He was beyond adorable. And he was being held by the other guy who warmed my heart. The entire picture was overwhelmingly sweet.
“This is the handsome fellow who was kissing me the other day when you called. I think he’s bumped your status as the one with the best brown eyes,” I said.
“Whose dog is it?” he asked as he scratched between the puppy’s ears.
I shrugged. “I guess…he’s mine now.” I felt some serious guilt for having left all the cleanup for Daphne and K.C. “I’ll tell you the whole story, but I really need to get up there and help out. Would you mind watching him for a few minutes?”
“Um…okay.” He glanced toward the doorway to the front of the shop.
I tilted my head and furrowed my brows. Alex was acting funny.
“Tell me his name,” he said while he looked at Jerome. His voice had taken on a sing-song quality as if he’d spoken to a baby.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
“He’s really yours?” Alex asked.
I looked down at the cherub face. His paws were set on Alex’s forearm and he rested his head on his paws. He peeked up at me and squeaked.
“Yeah, I think I’ll keep him. His name is Jerome.”
Alex made a face. “Funny name for a dog.”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
I shed my coats and left Alex to be licked to death by Jerome, then walked into the main design room. The overhead lights weren’t on, but there were candles flickering everywhere. I thought perhaps I was just feeling more confused than usual from hanging upside down for so long, but I worried the power might have gone out again. The cooler fan hummed in the background, though. I also noticed there was nobody else in the store. I walked into the display room. Again, nobody there.