by Carrie Carr
"You just wanted to come along and babysit, right? Dammit! I'm not helpless, you know." The irritated woman pushed by a confused Lex.
"Where are you going?"
Amanda threw up her hands and stopped. She turned around and wiped tears of frustration from her eyes. "If you must know, I'm going to the ladies room. I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Amanda, wait." Lex started to follow her, but stopped when Amanda continued to walk away, waving her arms over her head. "Damn." She watched helplessly as the woman she loved stomped off. "So much for this being a happy time."
Once Amanda returned from the restroom, she yanked everything out of Lex's hands and silently made her way to the nearest register. Her mood didn't brighten after they left the store.
The drive home was silent as Lex wracked her brain for something to say that would calm her still-seething partner. She took her eyes from the road long enough to glance across the seat of her truck, concerned at the faraway look on Amanda's face. "Penny for your thoughts?"
Feeling guilty over her earlier outburst, Amanda continued to stare through her window at the passing scenery. She wasn't sure why she felt the way she did. Over the past couple of months her nerves were on edge, and she often took out her frustrations by snapping at Lex or crying for no apparent reason. Just remembering the hurt look on her lover's face was enough to bring tears to Amanda's eyes. She doesn't deserve that. I've got to find a way to make it up to her.
The extended silence from the other side of the truck brought renewed pain to Lex's heart. She still wasn't sure what she had done to warrant the silent treatment, and now she was afraid to reach across and touch Amanda. I don't think I could handle it if she pulled away. Lex didn't attempt conversation again until after they drove across the bridge that led to the ranch house. A brisk wind jostled the truck as it exited the wooden structure. "Looks like the weather's going to be changing." She mentally cringed at the desperate attempt.
Amanda turned away from her window and met Lex's eyes. "Maybe it'll take my rotten mood with it." The tentative smile she received wasn't much, but it was a start. "I'm sorry, Lex. I don't know what's gotten into me lately." She reached across and grasped Lex's forearm. "Can you forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive." Lex pulled the truck in front of the house and shut off the engine. She unfastened her seatbelt and turned to give Amanda her complete attention. "I know something's been bothering you for a while now. Do you want to talk about it?" At the negative shake of her wife's head, Lex looked down at the seat between them. "I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong, Amanda. Talk to me, please."
"I--I can't."
Hurt by the rebuff, Lex pulled back and opened her door. "Fine." She reached into the back seat of the 2500 Quad Cab Dodge to grab the shopping bags, then climbed out of the truck. "I'll take these into the house for you." Before she closed the door, Lex looked into Amanda's eyes. "I'm going to check the back fence. I'll see you sometime this evening." She was thankful that at least she didn't have her cousin to put up with, seeing as how this entire day proceeded to go from bad to worse.
The door closed and Amanda was left staring at Lex's back. She felt fresh tears well up in her eyes and didn't even attempt to stop them.
Hearing the slam of the front door, Martha stepped out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a white dishtowel. She watched as Lex carried several bags into the den, and was surprised to see her storm down the hallway moments later. "Lexie? Where's Amanda?" When the distressed woman was even with her, Martha grabbed her arm to stop her. "What's going on?"
"She's on her way in. I've got to check the far fence this afternoon, so don't wait lunch on me." Lex pulled her arm from the housekeeper's grip and continued down the hall until she passed through the back door, slamming it behind her.
Seconds later, Amanda came in the front door, wiping her face with one hand. She peeked into the den and, not seeing Lex, straightened her back and met Martha mid-way in the hall. "Did you see--"
"Lexie? She took off out the back door like her tail end was on fire. What on earth is going on?" Martha led Amanda back into the den and guided her to the sofa, sitting down next to her. "You two have been touchy for a while now. Do you mind me asking why?"
Amanda looked at the bags Lex had dropped on the coffee table. "I'm not sure, Martha. I mean, I know that I've been out of sorts lately, so I guess that Lex is just picking up on that." She leaned back and closed her eyes. "Maybe we've just been spending too much time together; I don't know."
Martha sat quietly and thought about the tensions that had been running through the house. "I don't think that's it, honey. You two have never had any problem being together before now. This has all been building for months. Ever since you heard that your sister was expecting, you've been a bit prickly."
Amanda turned her head and opened her eyes. "That's not it. I'm very happy for Jeannie and Frank. Why would them having a baby upset me?"
"Maybe it's because you want what they have?"
Amanda's eyes widened at the thought. "I don't think so, Martha. I'm thrilled for them; I can't wait to hold my niece in my arms. But I'm certainly not ready for that drastic a step." A chagrined smile formed on her face. "Besides, Lex doesn't quite have the equipment to be a father."
Martha gave her a playful slap on the leg. "Hush up, child. You know there's other ways to go about it. Have you talked to Lexie?"
"No!" Amanda jumped up from the sofa as if she had been burned. "I mean, well, of course not. I don't know if we're ready for that kind of responsibility. Heck, I don't know if I'm ready. That's such a big step." Terrified of the direction the conversation was going, Amanda reached into one of the bags on the table. "Let me show you the things that we picked out for the shower, and for Jeannie and the baby. I think you'll really like them."
ASTRIDE THE LARGE black stallion, the silent figure watched from the copse of cedar and oak trees as two men continued to bicker back and forth. Lex nudged the horse out of the hiding place and stopped when she was a few feet away from the men. She crossed her forearms over the saddle horn and leaned forward. "You fellas lost?"
The shorter of the two men spun around, startled. "Hey, boss." Roy walked up to Lex's horse and patted its neck. "Didn't think we'd be seeing you out here today. Thought you had business in town." He was relieved to see that Lex bore no outward signs of injury from Saturday's fiasco. But he also knew better than to say anything about it.
"I did, but I'm back." Lex didn't feel like talking about what had transpired earlier. "Thought I'd come out here and check the fence. I didn't know you'd be here." She swung her right leg over the saddle and dismounted, allowing the reins fall to the ground. "What's up?"
Roy turned back to the fence, where he leaned on one of the posts and looked at the property beyond. "I just wanted to come out and see how much fence we'd have to move if you bought the land next to us."
Lex turned and looked at the foreman, then at the other man, Ted, who was loading tools into the back of a truck. "What do you mean, if I bought it? I didn't even know it was for sale."
"You didn't? Aw, hell, boss. I heard that it was going to be auctioned and just figured that you already knew all about it." Roy took Lex's arm and led her away where they could talk more privately. "Ted's girlfriend works at Johnson's Auctioneers, and she told him yesterday that she'll have to work late the next few weekends because of some of the big sales they've got coming up."
Damn. I've been letting too much of the ranch go lately. I used to find out about these important things way in advance. Lex patted her foreman on the back. "Thanks for letting me know, Roy. I'll make a few phone calls and see what's up." She gathered Thunder's reins and pulled herself into the saddle. "You guys better get back. Lester's bound to have supper waiting for you." On her command, the huge animal spun around and took off for the trees at a gallop.
THE SLAM OF the back door roused Amanda from her bout of self-pity. She had spent the better part of the afte
rnoon upstairs in their bedroom, lying on the bed with her face buried in Lex's pillow. She raised her head and listened, hoping to hear boot steps on the stairs. When several minutes passed and there was still no sign of Lex, Amanda curled up around the pillow again and stifled a sob. As distressed as she was with the way things were between them, she didn't know what to do to make them right again.
Downstairs, Lex didn't even realize how quiet the house was as she made her way into her office. She closed the door, then circled around the desk to drop into the leather chair. Rifling through her Rolodex, she found the number she had been searching for and picked up the phone. Several rings passed before a man's voice answered on the other end. "Ed? Lex Walters. How're you doing?"
She leaned back in her chair and propped her dirty boots on the edge of the desk. "Great. Hey, listen. A little birdie told me that the MacGregor land to the north of us is going up for auction in the next couple of weeks. Is that true?" Lex picked at a spot of dried mud on her denim-clad thigh as she listened. "Right. Is it a public auction, or sealed bids? Excellent." She dropped her feet to the floor and grabbed a pen, scribbling on the desk blotter. "Uh-huh. No proxies? Gotcha." Lex tapped the pen against the paper. "Thanks, Ed. I'll see you next Saturday. Bye."
After hanging up the phone, Lex leaned back in her chair again and put her boots back on the desk. She linked her fingers behind her head and smiled. "I've finally got a chance to get that grazing land I've been wanting for so long." The MacGregor property had some of the best grasslands in the area, and she had been trying for years to talk the old man into selling. "I wonder what changed his mind." She had no way of knowing that MacGregor had had a stroke, and after being placed in a nursing home, signed the property over to his grandson, who defaulted on the mortgage and then immediately put it up for auction. Nonetheless, Lex knew she had a good chance of picking up the property the following weekend with a low bid, since not that many people even cared about the property, much less knew about it being up for sale.
LEX STAYED IN her office until Martha called everyone to dinner, and she was concerned at how Amanda looked. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she barely looked up from her plate, which she had hardly touched. Lex was just thankful she didn't have the presence of her cousin to put up with. Travis had called earlier, and he and Ellie were in the middle of unpacking, so they wouldn't be able to make it to dinner.
The silence at the table was uncomfortable, although Ronnie seemed oblivious to it. He swallowed a bite of food and caught Lex's eye. "Roy wanted me to tell you that the horses from Saturday are doing okay. He's got two of them in training saddles and plans to try to ride them again next weekend."
"That's good." Lex was pleased with how Ronnie took an interest in the ranch. She sneaked a peek at Amanda, who continued to play with the food on her plate. The disastrous shopping trip still had Lex on edge, but she wanted to try to bridge the gap it had caused between them. "Amanda? Would you like to take a walk with me after dinner?" she asked, bracing herself for rejection.
Amanda, not sure if she had heard correctly, looked up into Lex's face. Instead of the angry or indifferent look she had expected, all she saw was love and concern. "I'd like that," she said, almost shyly. Finally having something to look forward to, she scooped up a bite of food and placed it in her mouth.
A short time later, the two women stepped out the back door of the house, the light from the stars and moon guiding them. Lex held out her hand and was relieved to feel Amanda's slip into it and squeeze. She led them down by the hay barn, walking slowly to pass the time. Lex wasn't sure what she had done wrong, but she was determined to clear things up between them. "I'm sorry about earlier."
"So am I," Amanda admitted. She stopped and turned to face her lover. "I don't know what's going on with me." Not comfortable with the feelings she had, Amanda tried to make light of her emotional turmoil. "Maybe I'm PMS-ing or something."
The frown on Lex's face grew. "I don't think that's it, and neither do you." She looked down at their joined hands, shadowed by the moonlight. "I want to help, if I can, Amanda. But you've got to talk to me."
"There's nothing wrong! Why can't everyone just leave me alone, and quit badgering me?" Amanda broke free and rushed into the barn, wiping tears of frustration from her cheeks. Leaning against a fragrant bale of hay, she heard boot steps behind her and turned around. The hurt look on her wife's face pushed everything else away, and she took a step to fall into Lex's waiting arms. "I'm sorry," she whimpered, burying her head into the soft denim of Lex's shirt.
"Shh. It's going to be okay, sweetheart," Lex said, holding Amanda with one hand while using the other to stroke her hair. At least I hope it will be. She slid down into the hay, pulling Amanda into her lap and trying to offer what comfort she could.
Not much time had passed before Amanda took a cleansing breath and sat up. She patted Lex's chest as she looked up into her eyes. "Thanks. I guess I needed that."
"You're welcome. Feeling better?" Lex removed a strand of hay from Amanda's hair. The gesture reminded her of the first time they were in the barn together, over a year earlier. "Remember the first time we were in here?"
Amanda smiled. "How could I forget? I fell for you, literally and figuratively." After Lex had rescued her from a raging creek, the grateful realtor had spent the next few days helping her around the ranch. While they were in the hay barn, Amanda climbed to the top of the bales, slipped, and fell into Lex's arms, which precipitated their first kiss.
"I had already fallen for you," Lex admitted. "The moment I pulled you out of that creek." She leaned forward and covered Amanda's lips with her own, feeling the familiar thrill when her lover's hands reached under her shirt to caress her skin.
"I felt the same way." Amanda unbuttoned the denim shirt. "But I kept telling myself it was some kind of hero worship." She pushed the shirt out of the way and reached around to unclasp Lex's bra, sliding both garments from her wife's body, then gently pushing Lex onto her back.
Lex's face broke out into a happy grin. "Hero worship, huh?" Her eyes widened as nimble hands unbuckled her belt and opened her jeans. "Uh, Amanda?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't you think we should go back to the house?" Feeling her jeans being pulled down, Lex automatically raised her hips to help.
"Nope." Amanda slid the denim down and then covered Lex's body with her own, which was still clothed. "I want you right here, right now. Got a problem with that?"
"Nope," Lex parroted, extending her arms and quickly relieving Amanda of her own clothes. "As a matter of fact, that's the best offer I've had all day." She wrapped her arms around Amanda and rolled over, causing them both to laugh with joy and relief.
Chapter Five
AMANDA PULLED HER Mustang into the drive at her grandparents' house, several hours early for the baby shower. She couldn't believe how quickly the week had passed. Although Lex had been busy preparing for the property auction, they had still managed to spend quite a bit of quality time together. She dreaded the questions that her partner's absence from the shower would cause, but Lex had explained that if she wanted the property, she had to be at the auction in person for the opening of the bids.
The front door of the house opened and Anna Leigh stepped out, waving. "Mandy! I'm glad you're here." She waited until her granddaughter was on the porch before continuing. "I'm having the hardest time deciding what kind of punch to serve."
Oh, yeah. That's a real emergency. Amanda pasted what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face and followed her grandmother into the house.
Before she knew it, hours had passed and most of the women from the office as well as several of Wanda's friends were seated in the living room. Amanda glanced at her watch and sighed. The only person missing was the guest of honor, and Wanda's sister was in charge of bringing her. The slamming of car doors caused a smile to break out on Amanda's face. She tried not to open the door the moment the bell rang, but wasn't quite successful by the surprised look on
the women's faces. "Hi."
"Hi." Wanda frowned, then looked at her sister. Because the other women had parked their cars out of sight, she didn't have a clue as to what was going on. "I didn't know you'd be here, Amanda. Karen told me that your grandmother needed us to stop by for something, but she didn't say what."
Amanda held open the door and stepped back. "Why don't you come in? I think she's in the living room." She struggled to keep the grin off her face as the two women stood in the doorway of the room where the others were "hiding."
"Surprise!" a chorus of voices shouted.
Wanda held her hands to her cheeks. "Oh, goodness! I can't believe this." She turned to look first at her sister, then at Amanda. "I can't believe you kept this a secret from me." Before she could say anything else, she was pulled into the room by the enthusiastic bunch, as voices vied excitedly with one another.
SIX MEN STUDIED one other across a large table; Lex was the only woman in the room. She almost jumped to her feet when Ed Johnson walked into the room carrying a briefcase. Nodding at each of the others before sitting down, he settled at the head of the table.
"Gentlemen. Lex," he added, a slight smirk on his face. "We've opened all the bids, and now have a winner." He opened his briefcase and pulled out large envelope. "There were several close bids, but one was higher by a good two percent. So, our client has agreed to the terms of that bid." He pushed the envelope past two men, one of them Wilson, until it rested in front of Lex. "Congratulations, Lexington Walters. Looks like you've bought yourself some prime grazing land."
"Excellent!" Lex opened the envelope and glanced at the papers inside. She looked up at Johnson. "I'll have the bank draft to you in about an hour," she promised.
Ed Johnson nodded. "Perfect. I'll have the paperwork ready for you by then." He looked around the table. "Gentlemen, thank you for your time."