by Carrie Carr
Lex put her free hand on Amanda's shoulder. "Whoa, there. Let's just tell Charlie about this and have the law take care of her. I honestly don't think she's going to hang around here since all this went wrong." She looked down at the computer screen. "I'd sure like to shake that fellow's hand, though. He took an awful risk going against your mother."
Amanda shook her head. "I don't have a mother. That woman was just a vessel that brought two kids into the world." She covered Lex's hand with one of her own. "I wouldn't claim her for any amount of money, and I wouldn't spit on her if she were on fire." She turned back around and closed out the computer programs and shut everything down. "Let me call the care facility, and then we can tell the family about all that's happened, okay?"
"Works for me." Lex stood where she was for a moment. "Mind if we keep you company?"
"I'd love it." Amanda stood and kissed her wife. When she was sure Lex had been thoroughly kissed, she placed her lips on Lorrie's forehead. "Thank goodness you won't have to worry about that woman, sweetie pie. We'll make sure of that."
"Damn right." Lex winked at Amanda, then took a seat in a nearby chair to watch her lover. "Hurry up now. The smell of Martha's stew has my stomach rumbling."
IT TOOK ALMOST a week before a room became available for Jeannie at the care center in town. Jeannie watched as Amanda tearfully packed her meager belongings into a suitcase.
"We're going to have to get you more clothes, Jeannie. I don't want those people thinking we can't afford to dress you." Amanda's voice shook, and she turned her back so that her sister wouldn't see her cry.
"I--habe--enob." Jeannie had been working hard with Ellie on her speech, and she was privately proud of the progress she'd made in such a short time.
Amanda shook her head. "I'd still like to take you shopping, if you'll let me." She placed the last item in the bag and zipped it closed. Unable to look at the urn that took up the space on the four-drawer filing cabinet, Amanda tried to think of a way to ask her sister about it. "What about--"
"I been--tinkin--bout--Fwank." Jeannie wished, at least for this one conversation, she could speak at a normal pace.
"Where's--Wex?"
Oh, boy. This is something I definitely didn't want to bring Lex into if I could help it. "I think she's in the kitchen with Martha, having some coffee before heading over to the bunkhouse. Do you want me to go get her?"
"Pwease."
Amanda left the room, shaking from the emotional toll. What could she be thinking? Is she going to ask Lex to keep the urn here? Or maybe find some way to place it in her room at the center? God, I hope it's not that. She stepped into the kitchen, feeling everyone's eyes upon her. "Lex, Jeannie wants to see you. I think it's about, umm, Frank."
Lex frowned. "Frank?" She looked to Martha for help, but the housekeeper just shrugged. Ellie remained conspicuously silent as well. "Okay." Lex stood up and handed Lorrie to Ellie before leaving the room. When she was in the house, Lex was usually holding the baby, a fact everyone but Amanda seemed to have noticed.
Jeannie looked up when Lex stepped into the room. She read the concern on her sister-in-law's face and held out her good hand to try to dispel Lex's anxiety. "I--need--your--elp."
Lex took the offered hand and squatted next to Jeannie's wheelchair. "Name it."
"Fwank."
"Okay." Lex followed Jeannie's gaze to the urn, and nodded. "Do you want the urn to stay here?"
"No."
Wonderful. I get to play Twenty Questions. "Do you want to take it with you? I'm not sure the care center will allow that."
"No." Jeannie exhaled heavily. "Could--ou--buwy im ear?"
What? Did she just ask-- "You want him to be buried here on the ranch?"
Jeannie nodded tearfully. "Pwease?"
"Well, sure. If that's what you want. Would it bother you if he was in my family cemetery? My dad's parents are there, and my mother, father and brother, too."
"Dat wud be wondervul." Jeannie pulled Lex's hand to her lips and kissed it before rubbing it against her cheek. "Ou--wudn't--mind?"
Lex brushed the hair away from Jeannie's face in a tender gesture. "I'd be honored. He's family, as are you."
"Tanks."
Amanda stood in the doorway of the room. "Is there something between you two that I should know about?" she asked in a teasing fashion.
"Nah. I think you already know that I love your sister." Lex stood up and kissed Jeannie on the forehead. "Right?"
Jeannie blushed and giggled. Even as serious as the conversation had been, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She watched as Lex picked up her sister and spun her around.
"Lex, you idiot! Put me down!" Amanda instinctively locked her hands behind her wife's head. "You're going to hurt yourself." She couldn't stop the wide grin that broke out on her face at Lex's playful manner. "What's got you so excited?"
"To tell you the truth, I don't really know. But it feels so good to hold you, I don't think I'll ever stop." Lex kissed Amanda soundly.
When they didn't show signs of stopping, Jeannie cleared her throat. "Ged--a--woom."
Lex walked over and set Amanda on Jeannie's bed. "Can we use yours?"
Both Amanda and Jeannie groaned at the suggestion. Amanda was the first to find her voice. "That's just sick."
"Oh. Are you saying I should share?" Lex received the expected slap on the arm for her comment.
"Lexington Marie! You watch your dirty mouth." Martha stood in the doorway wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She had come to the room to tell everyone that lunch was ready and had overhead Lex's last remarks. Although she was secretly glad the three were in a playful mood, she had her own role to play. "You all get cleaned up and get to the kitchen before I feed the stew to the stock."
Jeannie snickered while Amanda fell back onto the bed, laughing loudly.
"Oh, shut up," Lex grumbled, as she released her hold on Amanda and left the room. Her attitude only spurred the other women's mirth, and she could hear their laughter all the way down the hall.
Chapter Twenty-Three
IT TOOK THEM only two days to get everything ready for the funeral service, although it would take longer than that to make and erect a proper headstone. Lex had called in some favors, as did Charlie, and now all of them were gathered in the Walters' family graveyard.
Although it wasn't that far from the ranch house, due to the weather Lex had insisted that everyone drive. She assured them that she wasn't worried about the land being torn up by the vehicles, and in fact offered to convey anyone who wanted to ride with her in the truck.
The morning brought with it a heavy dew. Across from the grave, Ronnie and Travis stood on one side of Lex, while Amanda and her father stood on the other. The minister's words of sympathy and compassion caused Amanda more than once to seek solace in her partner's arms. Jeannie sat in her wheelchair in front of the grave with Ellie behind her, flanked on either side by Anna Leigh and Jacob. Martha had volunteered to stay at the house with Lorrie, as they all decided that it was too cold and damp for the baby to be out. Amanda watched as Jeannie accepted the condolences of the clergyman, looking much stronger than Amanda felt. The man nodded to Anna Leigh and Jacob before taking his leave, knowing the family needed quiet time alone after the service.
Jeannie looked across the grave to where Amanda stood. She could tell her sister had trouble keeping herself together through the service, and knew that Amanda would have to come to grips with Frank's death in her own way. She believed she was lucky in that respect. Spending most of my days thinking about nothing else certainly has given me proper perspective. I know I have to get well so that I can raise my daughter and be a contributing part of my family. I hope Amanda finds the peace she so desperately needs.
Jacob leaned down to whisper in Jeannie's ear, "Do you need more time, or are you ready to go? It's entirely up to you."
"I'm oday. But I wand do 'ome back when de headsdone's here." Jeannie waited until Michael walke
d to her and then allowed her father to pick her up in his arms. She snuggled against his chest. The heavy grasses and uneven ground made maneuvering her chair almost impossible. "Danks. Id's a wong walk back to de car por me."
Michael kissed her head. "Anytime, sweetheart. And I'll be glad to bring you back out here whenever you want. Just let me know." He could hear the others start to follow them back to where the cars were parked.
Lex kept a firm grip on Amanda's hand, hoping to keep them both emotionally grounded.
The ride back to the house was unnerving Ronnie. He had never been around Lex or Amanda when they were both so quiet, and he looked over to Travis for a clue as to how to handle the situation.
Travis tried to assure Ronnie with a look, but wasn't sure if he had been successful. All he wanted, more than anything, was to take away the pain Lex and Amanda were feeling, but he knew they had to get through it on their own. He waited until the truck was parked beside the house before speaking. "Is there anything I can do to help around the house?"
"Why don't you just come in for coffee," Amanda offered quietly. "Your company would be the best help in the world right now."
"Then that's what I'll do." Travis followed the Lex, Amanda, and Ronnie through the side door and into the kitchen. Seeing Martha trying to make coffee while holding a crying Lorrie, he quickly jumped into action. "Martha, do you want me to take the baby, or the coffee machine?"
The harried housekeeper gave him an exhausted smile. "If you'll finish up the coffee, I'll go check this little one's britches. I'm sure that's what she's so upset about." She patted him on the arm as she left the room with the baby.
Lex waited until her grandfather made quick work of the coffee duties. He had the brew going in no time. "I didn't know you knew how to make coffee."
"Do you think I made my servants do it for me?" Travis asked, thoroughly amused. "I'll have you know I wasn't always well-off, young lady. I worked damned hard for many years to get to where I am today."
"In my kitchen?" Lex teased.
Amanda hastily rose from her seat. "We just buried someone! I don't think it's the time to be so damned flippant." She rushed from the room, tears flowing from her eyes.
"Damn." Lex sighed and rubbed her face. "I screwed that up."
"I don't think so. But it might be a good idea to go find her and calm her down," Travis advised.
Lex hurried out of the room in search of Amanda. Hearing the front door slam, she figured that her wife had gone to sit on the front porch swing, one of Amanda's favorite places to go and think. Lex walked down the hall and cautiously opened the door, peeking outside. "Can I talk to you?"
With her back to the door, Amanda didn't indicate that she had even heard the request. She continued to cry, but wasn't surprised when Lex sat down beside her on the swing.
Lex's voice was quiet. "I'm sorry."
Amanda continued to look down at her hands, which lay clasped in her lap. Her hair fell around her face, and she was hoping that Lex couldn't see how much she had been crying. She felt like a complete fool for making a scene in the kitchen and was thankful that the rest of the family hadn't arrived in time to see her emotional display .
"Please, Amanda, would you look at me?" Lex felt like a first-class jerk, and the longer Amanda went without acknowledging her, the worse she felt. "We all love and miss him, you know. It's just that when I get nervous, I tend to release that pressure by joking." Lex stood, then squatted at Amanda's feet and placed her hands on either side of her partner's legs. "Can't we talk about this?"
The pleading tone in Lex's voice touched Amanda, but she still felt so badly about her own behavior she couldn't, or wouldn't, look up.
"Please forgive me?"
Amanda had no doubts that Lex would continue to beg until she responded, and her guilt over hurting Lex outweighed the embarrassment of her actions in the kitchen. "There's really nothing to forgive," Amanda whispered. "I'm the one who acted like a jerk."
Lex felt her heartbeat slow to its normal speed. Having Amanda upset with her was the last thing she ever wanted. "No, you're grieving. There's nothing wrong with that."
Amanda stood, and helped Lex to her feet as well. She linked her arm with her wife's and guided them both back into the house. "Thanks for coming out to get me."
"Any time, sweetheart." Lex pulled Amanda closer and kissed the side of her head. "But I hope I don't upset you again any time soon. I love you, Amanda Cauble-Walters."
"I love you, too."
With things back to semi-normal, Lex felt herself relax for the first time in days. She just hoped their relationship would weather whatever the next obstacle might be, as well.
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Lex loaded up Anna Leigh and Jacob's Suburban with all of Jeannie's belongings. She had wanted to drive Jeannie to the care center herself, but Jeannie told her there was no use in her making a special trip into town when her grandparents were going anyway. Although it made perfect sense, Lex didn't like the decision.
Amanda had gone shopping, and now, much to her sister's surprise, Jeannie's worldly belongings included two more large suitcases full of things. Jeannie tried to act upset, but the smile that kept breaking out on her face gave her away.
"Do you need any help with that?" Amanda asked Lex, as she stood next to Jeannie on the porch. "I'm sure we can get Martha to load all that for you, if you can't manage."
"Smart ass." Lex loaded the television and closed the back hatch. She took a deep breath and released it before turning to Jacob. "Now remember, you're not supposed to touch a thing. I've given explicit instructions, and they're getting paid extra to unload your truck and get everything into Jeannie's room. All you have to do is help her unpack her clothes."
"And we'll be more than happy to do just that, Lexington," Anna Leigh assured her. "I can't speak for my husband, but I'm not about to lift some of those boxes. I thought you were going to rupture something yourself."
Lex couldn't help laughing. "I always complain when I work. Just ask Martha. But honestly, don't you dare lift a finger, okay?"
Jacob nodded. "Yes, ma'am. We promise."
Anna Leigh watched as Jeannie held Lorrie, with Amanda and Ellie beside her. "Are you and Amanda going to be all right taking care of the baby until Jeannie is back on her feet? That's a lot of responsibility you're taking on."
"I know." Lex followed Anna Leigh's line of sight and couldn't help but smile at the scene. "We've been doing pretty well so far, and we've had Jeannie to care for, too. So I think we'll be okay. Besides, Ellie's asked to stay here and offered to nanny for us during the day. And of course, we'll be bringing the baby in to visit her mom several times a week."
Anna Leigh clapped her hands. "Excellent. You know, Ellie seems like a very sweet girl."
"You two look to be getting along a lot better, that's for sure," Jacob commented. "Did you call a truce?"
Lex laughed. "Something like that." She noticed the sad look on Ellie's face, while the others on the porch were all smiles. "I guess it's time to get this show on the road, though. You really want to have her all moved in before dinner time." She walked over to the porch where everyone else was standing. "Miss Jeannie, would you mind if I give you a lift to your chariot?" Lex asked, bowing deeply at the waist.
Unable to contain her mirth at her sister-in-law's antics, Jeannie tittered. She allowed Amanda to lift Lorrie from her lap, and kissed the baby's forehead. "Tanks."
"You're welcome." Amanda did her best to keep from crying at the heart-wrenching separation. "Remember, we'll bring her in every other day, and if that's not enough, give us a call, okay?"
"Otay." Jeannie waved her good hand to Lex. "I'm weady."
Lex bent down and plucked Jeannie from the wheelchair. "I figured for this trip, you'd get the personal touch."
Happy that Lex had been thoughtful enough to put her strong side close to Lex's body, Jeannie hooked her hand around Lex's neck and leaned into the embrace. She understood why her sister was so
taken with this woman. Never had she met anyone, her own husband included, who was as sensitive, loving or gentle as the woman who carried her now. She just hoped that Amanda cherished Lex, or she might be in for a fight. Wouldn't that just freak out the folks! Jeannie chuckled, which caused Lex to almost drop her.
"What's on your mind?"
No way was Jeannie going to share that little tidbit, ever. "Nuthin'."
Once the wheelchair and all of the passengers were safely loaded into the Suburban, Lex stood on the porch with Ellie, while Martha took Lorrie inside for her nap. Amanda gave last minute instructions to her grandparents in the vehicle, and Lex turned to see tears in Ellie's eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"
"I don't know what it is about those Cauble women that attracts me to them," Ellie admitted quietly. She had become very attached to Jeannie since they'd started working together, and it pained her that Jeannie felt the need to get better care than what she was giving.
Lex, who had heard the quiet comment, put her arm around her cousin's shoulders. "I don't know the answer to that one, El. But if it's any consolation, I think you've got real good taste."
"Thanks." Ellie sighed and walked back into the house, her heart broken once again.
Amanda waved at the Suburban until it was out of sight, then joined Lex up on the porch. "That was harder than I thought it would be."
"I know."
Taking her wife's hand, Amanda led them both over to the swing so they could sit. "It's not going to take Jeannie that long to get better, you know. She's already moving both legs and has limited use of her left hand now."
"I know." Lex knew she sounded like a broken record, but she wanted to hear where Amanda was going with her thoughts.
"I don't know how I'll be able to let Lorrie go once Jeannie is ready for her," Amanda admitted quietly. "She's already such a big part of me."
"Me, too." Lex looked off into the winter rye field that was starting to grow in front of the house. "But you never know. There's really nothing for Jeannie in California anymore. Maybe she'll decide to settle down in Somerville."