She lost track of the minutes passing after that opening. Her need to thoroughly explain all that had transpired between them was of the utmost importance. Tearfully, she assured him of the intense love she felt for Mr. Darcy, enumerated with vigor his numerous excellent qualities, related what he had done to prove his devotion to her, and spoke of his constancy and patience. She did not give the finer details of his first proposal at Rosings, saying only that she refused because she had not loved him at the time. Lizzy feared Mr. Darcy’s poorly chosen words would incite Mr. Bennet’s anger as fiercely as it had hers, and when he interrupted to ask how Mr. Darcy had proposed, the dark gleam in his eyes confirmed her fears.
“What did Mr. Darcy tell you?” she asked, rather than answering.
“Only that he spoke in a manner unbefitting a gentleman and with words he was too ashamed to repeat. He refused to divulge further. Despite his persuasive articulation of remorse and assurances that his attitude is altogether changed, I am not happy at the idea of my daughter marrying a man who once insulted her character.”
“What Mr. Darcy left out, I am guessing, is that I insulted his character equally as much if not worse.”
She went on to tell him of her misunderstanding and Mr. Darcy’s regret over his influence with Mr. Bingley. Then she spoke of Wickham’s unsavory relationship with the family. In that, she said only that Mr. Wickham had attempted to “seduce a member of Mr. Darcy’s family as retaliation,” the timely rescue saving the young woman from the fate Lydia nearly fell victim to—if it had not been for Mr. Darcy’s intervention—and contributing to why Wickham spread lies of Mr. Darcy’s character across Hertfordshire.
“We all fell prey to deception in regards to Mr. Darcy, Papa, but none as severely as me. He is too kind and too generous to lay conviction at my feet, yet there it should be laid as harshly as any directed toward him. You must understand that we are not purposely keeping secrets from you. Rather it is that these are private matters between us.” Mr. Bennet’s lips crunched together until not the thinnest line of pink flesh was visible, the tension lessening when she pressed a warm palm over his hand and continued in a teasing tone, “If we can forgive each other for painful words, mature in our understanding as a result, and fall in love, is this not a positive sign for the rigors of marriage?”
The conclusion was Mr. Bennet granting his permission to the match, albeit reluctantly and with professed reservations of their compatibility. Lizzy squealed with glee as she rushed to embrace her father.
“Erase your fears, Papa. We are perfectly matched, I assure you, and you will soon see how wonderful Mr. Darcy is and his abiding affection for me.”
“I will be watching, my Lizzy. I could not bear to lose you to anyone less worthy.”
She kissed his forehead. “In that, I do believe Mr. Darcy would agree!”
Sprinting from the room with her father’s chuckle following behind, she dashed into the empty corridor and then into the parlor. Suddenly frantic over the barrage the poor man had probably been subjected to, she stopped short when her rapid scan of the room revealed only her mother and three sisters.
“What have you done to him?” she blurted.
“Oh, Lizzy! Mr. Darcy? Are you certain of what you are choosing? What pin money and fine carriages you will have—and a house in Town too! Quite wonderful, and a saving boon for us all, but he is so disagreeable and…”
Mrs. Bennet was atwitter, clutching at Lizzy’s hand and gasping as she went on about Mr. Darcy’s wealth and negative qualities in running sentences. Not wasting time to reply to any of her mother’s ramblings, Lizzy glanced to Jane, who inclined her head toward the garden. Mrs. Bennet’s voice followed behind as Lizzy flew down the steps and the well-trod path to the garden. She slowed when she saw him, her heart skipping several beats and butterflies dancing in her stomach.
He sat on a stone bench, hunched over with his elbows on his knees, and nervously twisted a mutilated flower between his fingers. He looked up and then lurched rapidly to his feet. For a moment she thought he was going to leap toward her, but instead he stood frozen, staring at her with a panicked question.
“It is official. I am yours.”
The expressions that crossed his countenance would have been vastly humorous if she did not feel his turmoil. She laughed gaily, and swiftly reduced the gap between them until they were standing less than a foot apart. He enveloped her petite hands with a steadfast grip, face jubilant and awash with liberation, and placed their entwined hands against his throbbing heart. At the same time, he bent and settled his forehead on hers, releasing a mighty sigh.
As delightful as the sensations were, a giggle escaped her smiling lips.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“Only a little. Did my frightening father scare you after all, Mr. Darcy?”
“He can be rather intimidating when he wishes it, Miss Elizabeth. I relinquished my pride and bared my soul. I confess that I never recognized how deep his love for you. Of course, this emotion, while of a different nature, placed us on equal footing to a degree. Nevertheless, he put me on the defensive and refused to completely grant permission for our engagement until he spoke with you. Under the circumstances, I could not fault him that, but as he held my entire future happiness in his hands, I am not ashamed to confess being overcome with tremendous fear.”
“I shall have to tell him. I doubt Papa has frightened anyone in his entire life! He will be amused.”
“How pleased I am to be a fount of amusement for the Bennet household. I believe I have also adequately supplied the daily portion of entertainment for your mother and sisters.”
She burst out laughing. “Poor William! Mr. Darcy, who hates to be teased, has received his allotment today.”
Releasing one hand to smooth the loose strands of hair away from her eyes, he smiled unabashedly and replied, “I suppose I should be chagrined, but I find that teasing does not annoy me as much as it once did. Levity appears to have entered my existence along with you, dear Elizabeth, and it heals me.”
“So, are you better now? Your heart continues to pound.”
“I judge my heart shall forever pound when near you.” His voice deepened, and tender fingers traced over her features, darkened eyes following. “Elizabeth, you are incredibly beautiful. I so love and adore you. I am the happiest of men.”
Once again Lizzy was breathless and mesmerized, captured by his eyes and the renewed thrills racing through her body at his touch. His eyes and fingertips reached her parted lips, feathering them lightly.
“Elizabeth, please, may I kiss you?”
Unable to speak, she nodded faintly. As if in a dream of exquisite beauty, he lowered his head slowly while cupping her face with his strong yet tender hands. Instinctively, her eyes slid shut with the first gentle pressure of his mouth brushing against hers.
His kisses were restrained, pure, and delicate; yet the sensations flowing through her body were torrential, dynamic, and astonishing. Simultaneously they shivered, matching sighs of pleasure escaping their lips.
“Is it supposed to feel so…incredible?”
He laughed softly and shook his head. “I would not know, but I believe it should.”
Without another word, he claimed her mouth again. His kisses were temperate, and his hands traveled to her neck for soothing strokes. Of their own volition, her hands tentatively explored the muscular contours of his chest and shoulders, and then moved up to encircle his bare neck, her fingers entwining in his hair.
Reflexively, Lizzy parted her lips. The delicious pressure of his mouth was glorious yet inexplicably increased her yearning for more. Precisely what the more was that she craved Lizzy did not consciously imagine—until he skimmed the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip. Not sparing a particle of a second to analyze why this simple act felt unfathomably fantastic and spiraled her senses, she gave in to impulse. A faint sigh escaped when she opened her mouth farther and hesitantly touched her tongue to his.
Fire ignited! Sheer ecstasy!
Darcy groaned. The sound and vibration woke something buried inside Lizzy’s body that had lain dormant. When he followed with a penetrating invasion of his tongue, that unnamed something roared to crazed life. This manner of kissing’s warmth and intimacy was beyond her wildest imaginings. Oddly, rather than being overwhelmed or fearful, she yearned for even more.
Abruptly he left her mouth and planted kisses all about her face. He pressed his face into her hair and inhaled deeply, and then proceeded to rain soft nibbles down to the sensitive flesh behind her ear. He moaned her name before gently drawing her earlobe between his lips. Ceaselessly he caressed her arms and back, pulling her closer to his chest. Ardently, as if starved, he returned to her receptive mouth, giving her a taste of the more she craved.
Lizzy was dizzy from the sensations yet wholly aware of the bliss coursing through her veins. She matched each of his motions and responded with greater boldness. She was intoxicated, and wildly abandoned to the sensations he roused within. With a husky groan, she clutched his back and head, and fused herself to the entire surface of his body. She reveled in how the unyielding muscles of his chest crushed her breasts and, innocent though she was in many respects, thrilled at the rigid length jammed into her belly.
Despite that obvious indication of Mr. Darcy’s enjoyment of their interlude, or most likely because of it, he harshly clasped on to her shoulders and frantically shoved her away. Staring at the ground, he hoarsely stammered between ragged pants, “Elizabeth…Miss Elizabeth, I beg your forgiveness! My behavior is… ungentlemanly and unforgivable! Please…accept my heartfelt apology.”
Lost in a daze, her heart fluttered so alarmingly she thought she might well faint! Feeling bereft at the sudden abandonment of his warmth, she stuttered, “I…I am so sorry…I thought you wanted to…I should not have…” Shy and insecure for the first time that day, tears welled in her eyes, and she joined his serious contemplation of the ground.
For several agonizing moments, they stood apart, breathing heavily and collecting their befuddled thoughts.
“What you must think of me—” she muttered.
“Can you forgive me, my love?” he blurted at the same instant.
“Forgive you…what?” Wide-eyed, she looked upward and met his confused gaze.
His question tumbled over hers. “Whatever do you mean?”
“I behaved so wantonly—”
“I lost control of myself—”
Naturally, it was Lizzy who first saw the humor, smiling and laughing while he watched her in perplexity.
Gradually, his lips lifted in amusement. “You are laughing at me again.”
“On the contrary, I am laughing at us. Mr. Darcy, let me see if I understand this. You are apologizing for enjoying kissing me, your betrothed, while I am apologizing for responding to said kisses?” He nodded, flushing brighter. “Therefore, in effect, we are apologizing for being in love?”
He opened his mouth and then snapped it closed, glancing away from her teasing face. “It does seem rather ludicrous when you state it thusly.” His countenance turned serious. Clasping her hands, he spoke in a calm, reasonable tone. “Elizabeth, you surely understand that it is not merely the enjoyment of our love that concerns me but the appropriateness of it’s expression before we are wed. It is shockingly improper for us to even discuss these matters, let alone experience them!”
“William, I appreciate your concern, although I submit that little about our relationship has been proper or appropriate, and yet here we are. You are correct, of course, in maintaining decorum until we are married.”
“Elizabeth, please, I—”
“Mr. Darcy, I will not apologize for communicating openly with you! Nor will I hide my love for you. We have done far too much of both, nearly losing each other in our stupidity, misconceptions, and pride.”
He stared at her silently as an expression of stunned happiness washed over his face. “You are amazing, Elizabeth, and I love you ardently. It remains a welcome shock that you love me at all, let alone feel the same… passion…” He sighed and ran one hand over his face. “It will take some getting used to, I suppose.”
Before she could respond, he embraced her comfortingly and kissed her lips lightly. After another tender kiss, Darcy pulled away. “I shall leave you now, dearest Elizabeth. Extend my apologies to your mother, but I am not presentable, and frankly, my heightened emotions render me unfit for polite company. I will return this evening with Mr. Bingley.”
He took a step to leave, but Lizzy gripped his hand to halt him. In a burst of enthusiasm, she wrapped her free hand around his neck, pulled him toward her as she lifted on her tiptoes, and kissed him soundly.
“From here on, I promise to behave as I should and not tempt fate. So, remember these kisses, Fitzwilliam Darcy, and do not doubt my love for you.”
He nodded, his grin wide and eyes smoldering. Intent on holding to her promise, she propelled him out of the garden. They parted with formal salutations and proper hand kisses, Lizzy watching until he passed through the gate and turned for a breezy wave. She waved in return, laughed giddily, and performed a twirling dance of glee before skipping up the steps to the door.
Chapter Two
Love Flurries and Fogs
At the last second, Lizzy grasped the handle and closed the door quietly behind her. Briefly she leaned against the wood to catch her breath and still the fluttering of her heart—only a moment’s respite, however, before she twisted about to look out the window.
There he was. His tall, sturdy frame was easily visible on the open pathway ascending the gradual slope. His coattails billowed with each stride, his long legs swallowing the yards. Lizzy leaned her forehead against the cool glass, eyes steady on the retreating figure of the man she loved. Suddenly he paused and glanced over his shoulder toward the house. Impulsively she jerked and pulled back from the window.
I am his betrothed and can stare at him as long as I want!
Chuckling at her folly, she stepped forward until pressed into the transparent surface. Unfortunately, he was too far away to see her through the glass, a fact she realized when unable to clearly decipher the expression on his face. She did not doubt his countenance was as sunny as hers, especially when he resumed walking. It took her a few moments to solve what it was that struck her as odd. After all, it was not as if she had been granted numerous opportunities to observe Mr. Darcy walking at a pace as brisk as the one he was currently setting. Yet somehow she knew that his normal gait was solid, each thickly booted foot planted confidently and with the hint of arrogant domination present in his bearing. Today, however, one would think he wore the lightest of house shoes or was seconds away from dancing on a slickly polished floor. She half expected his mincing feet to abruptly leave the ground in a balletic pirouette.
The vision was so ridiculous that she burst out laughing.
“Lizzy? Is that you? Jane, go see if that was Lizzy, and if so, bring her here. We have much to discuss!”
Lizzy’s laugh was replaced by a groan at her mother’s query. She wanted to bask in her happiness, not be subjected to an inquisition! She was already shaking her head and pleading with her eyes when Jane’s face popped around the corner.
“No, Mama,” Jane finally said, wincing at the untruth. “She must still be outside.”
Thank you, Lizzy mouthed. She pantomimed climbing the stairs, pointed in the general direction of her bedroom, and then pointed at her sister and back toward the ceiling. Jane nodded, her face calm, as always, but Lizzy detected the confusion and colliding questions within Jane’s blue eyes. Come up soon. I need to talk to you. Jane nodded once again before turning into the parlor to distract Mrs. Bennet so that Lizzy could dart past the doorway and escape to the stairs.
Once in the bedroom, Lizzy dashed straight to the window. It was ridiculous, of course. The angle from this corner of the house was inadequate to visualize the twisting pathway that led to Netherfield. A
dditionally, even if realities of geometric space and obstructing trees were not an issue, Mr. Darcy would have traveled beyond the reach of her eyesight by now. None of that kept her from trying anyway and then sighing forlornly when his figure was nowhere to be seen.
He still loves me! And we are to be married!
At her youngest and silliest age, Elizabeth Bennet had rarely been a girl known for flighty antics and addled brain. Vivacious and buoyant in spirit, indeed she was, but with a controlled demeanor differentiating her actions from those of foolish youths, such as Lydia and Kitty. Now here she was, at the mature age of twenty, giggling aloud and fighting an intense urge to twirl about the room or sprint down the trail until she had caught up to Mr. Darcy. In truth, she wanted to twirl and then run insanely after Mr. Darcy!
It was absurd in the extreme and should have embarrassed her into sobriety.
Instead, the ridiculous vision lead her to imagining catching her betrothed on the trail, which in turn lead her to imagining how pleased he would be and how he might express his pleasure, which in turn lead her to imagining—vividly—his kisses.
Lizzy pressed her palms against her flaming cheeks, closed her eyes, and inhaled several times. Finally, with a modicum of control restored, she moved away from the window. Inadvertently, her eyes opened to a reflection of her face in the vanity mirror.
The face staring back at her was a revelation.
Lightness and gaiety burst from within the chocolate depths of her eyes, startling her. It was a novel expression yet instantly recognizable as what she had detected within Mr. Darcy’s eyes while gazing at her in the garden. There were a number of alterations to her mien that, if she were more her typical self and not overtaken by emotion, would cause her to laugh mockingly. Had she not just yesterday teased Jane for lips suspiciously plumper and ruddier than usual after her solitary walk with Mr. Bingley to the stables? Lizzy’s lips were normally plump, but at the present, they were on the verge of swallowing her face!
Darcy & Elizabeth: A Season of Courtship (Darcy Saga Prequel Duo) Page 3