I didn’t respond because the only words that I seemed to know at the moment were ‘Yes,’ ‘Yours,’ and ‘Always.’ And they were dangerous words for how treacherously quick we’d slid back into the way we used to be.
“Let’s go inside.” He stepped to the edge and hopped over, reaching for my towel and his. “I’d like to think your tits are just red from my mouth, but I’m not willing to risk them getting frostbite.” He smirked and held my towel open for me before even worrying about himself.
I hopped out, quickly wrapping the towel around me since I was naked—aside from the string bikini that hung around my neck that honestly looked more appropriate as a necklace than it did as a bathing suit.
“Seriously?” He laughed. “You know everything that I just put inside of you, right?”
I hugged the towel tighter, keeping my elbow and my tattoo close to my side as I mumbled, “It’s cold.”
A glance over at the hot tub told me that the bottoms to the suit were a lost cause at the moment. Chance could find them when he drained it.
“I’ll deal with it later. Let’s go.” And then his arm came around my shoulders in a move that shocked me almost as much as the incredible ass-fuck that had just happened.
This was the Chance that I had left, I thought as he then slid the door open for us, refusing to move his arm off of me; he had a heart of gold, just like his sisters, only his was coated, covered, and protected by a kinky demanding asshole.
A combination that deserved an A for Addicting.
“I need to shower and go to bed,” I murmured, turning slightly against him; it was almost eleven. I hadn’t realized just how long we’d been out there. My extremities were probably a Level Five Prune right now.
“You want company?” He winked at me. I forgot to add that the kinky demanding asshole was sprinkled with insatiable.
“In the shower or in bed?” I shouldn’t be fueling the fire, but I was. I wanted to keep burning. For him, I wanted to fucking turn to ash.
“Both.”
Gulp. Oh, so tempting.
My eyes dropped for a second, looking for where I must have dropped my brain. “I think… we should both probably go to bed,” I managed to get out softly. “I have a lot to do in the morning.”
“Always so demanding.”
“Me?” I gasped.
“You always demand everything,” he rasped, his face coming closer to mine. “I only demand you.”
God, I was wet for so many reasons right now.
“Goodnight, Chance,” I murmured shakily.
His arm slid from my shoulder, fingers brushing against my chin and lifting my face back up to his.
“I’ll let you run tonight, but this isn’t over, J-bird,” he rasped with piercing blue eyes. My mouth dried up, parting just as he bent his lips to mine. “You know that was only hole number two.” Another brush from his mouth. “Next time, I’m coming for that pussy of yours.”
I quickly turned the small, strangled moan that escaped into a ‘goodnight’ and made for the stairs. He’d stolen my breath just as easily as he’d stolen my peace and my focus these past few weeks. I would have to add it to the ever-growing list of other things that he’d stolen from me over the years, claiming everything as his own.
My virginity. My dreams. My heart.
And he wasn’t done yet.
I WATCHED FROM DOWN IN the kitchen as Jessa woke up and moved back and forth between Ally’s room and the bathroom upstairs. It was pretty early and I had a good feeling that she thought I was still sleeping.
Not after last night.
After we came in, the snow started to cover the world in a cold blanket of white. Since my room was in the basement with a glass door that led outside, it had turned into a fucking freezer down there in under an hour. Great for freezing my balls into not thinking about anything—or anyone—else, which was all they wanted to do: think about the first time I’d fucked Jessa there… And every other time I’d fucked her there.
But it wasn’t so great for trying to get at least a few hours of shut-eye. So, I’d ended up on the couch—away from the cold and away from the recollections.
I poured the fresh coffee into a Florida mug that my parents had brought here for Christmas one year. Why? I couldn’t tell you; there were a thousand goddamn mugs in the cupboard. My mother had a serious problem.
I inhaled the caffeine. There was a slim chance that the smell of the freshly brewed coffee might give away that I was up already, but it was unlikely. Smiling to myself, I walked over to take a seat at the kitchen counter, only then noticing that the invitation to the Winter X Games (that Channing had competed in posing as me) still hung on the fridge. I ripped it down, crumbing it in my hand.
What a fucking waste.
A fire pit would have been preferable, but the trash can would have to do for now. I threw the piece of paper away and took a seat at the kitchen counter. This was exactly why I hadn’t come back here—the sense of everything about my past life, everything that I lost, enveloped me. Memories with my family—parents: gone, Channing: gone, Ally: gone. Not so bad if I’d had snowboarding to keep me company, but the closest I’d come to the sport since I moved back was throwing that damn paper away.
And all of this—all of this misery—I’d confided to her last night. I thought I’d be able to avoid it; I thought I’d be able to stick to something superficial. I should have known she’d draw the deeper truths out of me like sucking venom out of a snakebite.
I looked over at the trash. Even the moment of anger I felt throwing the damn invitation away was mild compared to what it would have been a month ago—hell, what it would have been a week ago.
Sitting down, I took a long sip of the black coffee and stared out into the snow that still fell outside. Sugar and cream were pointless additions in my opinion. My ears—and my pulse—perked up as I heard soft footsteps on the stairs. Yeah, she definitely thought I was still asleep downstairs.
She turned the corner into the kitchen. Seeing those silk PJs in the morning light was even worse than the first time and my dick swelled wanting what was underneath—wanting that last part of her.
“Morning there, J-bird.” I smirked as she practically jumped out of her skin.
Her hand came up to her forehead. “Oh my God. Seriously? You scared the shit out of me.”
My grin widened even more. “I made fresh coffee. How did you sleep?” Probably about as shitty as I did.
She didn’t take the bait though. Instead, she eyed me skeptically before grabbing herself a mug and pouring a giant cup of Joe.
“I was hoping it was a dream,” she groaned. She drank her coffee black, too.
“Last night? I’ll gladly take credit for making that dream come true.”
“No. Not that… that’s not what I meant.” She huffed, blowing on the coffee that was still steaming in her mug, holding it in front of her chest like some sort of caffeinated armor.
I smiled and watched her. This was new. We’d never woken up together able to sit in the kitchen and have coffee—not before and not even this past week either; she’d been up and out of the house before I even woke up—on purpose to avoid me.
The coffee aroma was finally starting to overwhelm the scent from Jessa’s candles that she insisted on lighting every night. The top layer of wax had still been melted when I’d come back downstairs after forcing myself not to burst through her door.
“Is that really everything that you own?” I nodded to two almost-empty boxes by the stairs.
“No, the rest is at my old apartment. I only brought over what I had at Tammy’s.”
“Do you need help with the rest?” There was hardly anything here, which meant that there must be
“A-are you offering?” There was no thrill hearing her question the honesty of my offer—and there should have been if I was trying to hurt her.
“For the right price,” I replied with a smile that was both sexy and suggestive.
“I
’m sure that price will be too steep for me. But, if I’m really in a pinch, I’ll let you know,” she retorted, biting her lip. I caught her eye because we both knew she was in a pinch—we both were. And for a second, the years between us evaporated.
“No, I’m actually going to head over there—Shit…” she mumbled underneath her breath after glancing at the window—and the falling snow.
“What?”
“Nothing. I-I was just planning on getting the rest of my stuff today before they start tearing down my old apartment building or something ridiculous without telling me first.”
“Because of the mold?”
“Yeah.”
Before I even knew what I was doing, I offered, “I’ll drive you over there. I’m sure the roads are shit.” It really wasn’t an offer. It was a demand.
If possible, she looked even more shocked than she had when I’d appeared in the kitchen that night. At least she didn’t have a rolling pin this morning.
“It’s fine. I have my truck.”
She had another fucking thing coming if she thought I was going to let her drive out there alone in this weather.
“It wasn’t a question, J-bird,” I replied with a distinct edge to my voice. “If you want your shit, I’m taking you to get it.”
“I would think you would be happy to see me stranded in the snow.” She clutched her mug with both hands, daring me to admit to some sort of genial feeling towards her.
“Oh, no, gorgeous,” I drained the rest of my mug and then put on a tight smile, “if Mother Nature wants to ruin you, she’s going to have to get in line.”
Not quite the answer she was hoping for, but there was no way in hell I was going to admit—to her or myself—that the thought of her going out in this weather—driving in this weather—alone turned my blood to ice.
“Chance, I know how to freaking—“
My cup slammed down on the granite countertop. “First off, you haven’t lived here in eight years—and where you were living doesn’t see snow too often. Second, it’s not even you I’m worried about. I’m worried about all the fucking transplants from California and the tourists from God knows where trying to drive in this weather because they think they can handle it.”
We were locked in a glaring contest, but I knew she would eventually give in. And a few seconds later, her head ducked and she took a defeated sip of her coffee.
“Fine. You can take me,” she murmured over the rim. “But I have two conditions.”
Did my girl really think that she was going to bargain with me now? This was my decision. My house. My rules.
On top of all that, she was mine. She was so goddamn mine and I was going to have her wound so fucking tight around my dick for as long as I fucking needed before I broke her.
And I was going to break her—her and her pink defiant hair, her throaty desirous laugh, and most of all her trusting and compassionate heart. I just wished I didn’t need to keep reminding the rebellious part of me that wanted to keep her of that.
“First, I want your word that you will not make any sexual innuendos while we do this.”
“Pretty sure you like how those turn you on, J-bird…” Her lips pursed and I knew that was exactly the problem.
“Second, you have to talk to me.”
“About what?” I frowned. “We talked last night.”
“Whatever I decide.”
My fingers strummed on the countertop; I didn’t have to do anything. The part of me that raged against her and everything that happened to me screamed for me to tell her ‘fuck that’ and not give her any other option anyway. The other part of me that belonged in this house, that would do anything for my sisters or my family, that had spent hours dreaming about the vibrant vixen standing in front of me before I’d even had the courage to go talk to her, the part of me that admired everything about the woman she had become in spite of what she’d done to me—that was the part of me that was too strong to control.
“Fine.”
Truce.
I lost track of everything for a minute while she chewed on her lip, remembering that lush pink skin gliding up and down the length of my cock—lips that sucked every last drop from me.
“I’ll be ready to go in fifteen.”
I just nodded. Looks like I was going to have to deal with whatever questions that she had for me because there was no way after that image that I was going to be able to keep anything sexual under control.
Eight years ago. The night before graduation.
“Are you sure about this?” Chance rasped above me.
We were both panting, our bodies like dark storm clouds waiting to deluge the desire that had built up inside of them.
His lips still glistened from the orgasm that they’d just given me.
“Yes,” I said with a voice that was as sure as stone. “I want to feel all of you.”
Both truth and a lie.
I wanted to feel like there was nothing between us when there was something between us. A dark, ugly something. Growing like a weed in what should have been the Garden of Eden.
I wanted to feel nothing between us because in a few weeks, there would be lies, betrayal, and thousands of miles between us when I left and he didn’t come with me.
He moved over me, kissing along my neck as the tip of his erection brushed against my entrance.
“I love you, J-bird,” he growled, searching for my mouth.
I couldn’t—wouldn’t—watch that love wither and die as he realized that I’d been the one to take his dream from him. That moving to Texas for me had ruined his professional snowboarding dreams. Instead, I was going to cut that love off at the source.
And it was going to hurt like hell.
I couldn’t even imagine what it was going to take for me to survive it. But I would.
I would survive, knowing that he was where he needed to be—on the mountain.
Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let them go. Not so that they can come back, but so that they can become who they were meant to be. And who we were meant to be wasn’t possible if we tried to stay together.
“I love you, Chance.” My pathetic cry turned into a moan as his bare cock pushed inside me.
Mind-numbing kisses and pleasurable fog claimed me and I lost myself in the last moment where nothing stood between us. Where we were joined body, heart, and soul. And when we came, I felt the hot burst of his promise inside my body—the one that said in one way or another, I would always be his.
Present
Pine. Eucalyptus. Pineapple. Chance.
Even with my door shut, the scents from downstairs followed me as I came up to change. With a groan, I moved with an awkwardness that I’d suffered silently to conceal downstairs.
My ass hurt.
I’d forgotten about this part. Don’t get me wrong—last night was completely and entirely worth it. But like after every night of good intoxication, I was dealing with the hangover this morning.
Or in my case, the ass-fuck-over.
I bent down to grab my yoga pants from off the pile of clean clothes in the middle of the floor, the used and bruised lower parts of me complaining at the strain.
Even though I’d known the man forever, from the second he’d offered to take me to my old apartment and help me move I’d been a bundle of nerves. This was Chance. Why the heck was I nervous?
Maybe because after last night, everything was hitting me all at once—his tortured confession the night he moved in, the way he came undone for me, the way his eyes had only been on me all week, the way he managed to claim every last little defiant piece of my soul last night that said I didn’t need him, and now this… his change in demeanor was reflecting too close to the one that I’d fallen in love with.
Retreating back to my room, I’d changed into yoga pants, several layers of tops, and slipped into an old pair of Ally’s winter boots I found in the closet. I looked like a mess; maybe that would deter him.
“So, you reall
y missed the cold that much?”
My eyes slid from where I was watching out the passenger window to Chance with his one hand on the steering wheel, driving casually as though we weren’t doing twenty-five miles-per-hour through the heavily snow-covered streets.
“Something like that.” I managed a half-smile. “So, tell me more about the school.”
Speaking in clipped tones, he began to begrudgingly tell me what he knew about Wyatt and Channing’s snowboarding school. I’d gotten the gist of it from Chan weeks ago—before they’d gone to Canada—but I didn’t know any of the details. I listened intently as he explained more about the curriculum, the blending of school and sports, and the time focused on honing the students’ skills outside of the classroom. It was really a great idea; nowadays, there was too much focus on exams and tests and what you knew on paper, when the truth was that there were just (if not more) valuable lessons to be learned outside and from the mountain.
But all of that wasn’t what excited me most. No, what made me nod my head enthusiastically and held me on the edge of my seat to hear more was the way Chance’s reluctant tone rapidly disintegrated.
Maybe it was because there was no one besides me to hear him in the complete silence and white emptiness of the world. Or maybe it was because with me, some part of him felt like he could finally let his guard down and put his anger away.
Maybe that last was just wishful thinking on my part.
My heart tripped every time I saw a small smile creep out onto his face as his explanation wandered off on tangents about how he thought the snowboarding lessons should be run, how many students there should be, and what the best way was to teach them.
He needed to do this. He wanted to do this.
Every second that he spoke all I heard was just how much this opportunity could mean if he wasn’t so stubborn. In that moment, I knew that I would do whatever it took—sacrifice whatever pieces of me that were left—to make sure he took his sister and Wyatt up on their offer.
“Well, I can speak from experience and say that how you helped me learn to snowboard certainly saved my ass from taking a beating on the mountain,” I couldn’t help but add, remembering how he’d helped me tackle a black diamond with only a few weeks instruction.
Enjoy the Ride (Winter Games Book 3) Page 19