“Nah,” he says, closing his eyes. “I wasn’t sleeping.”
He yawns, and it makes me chuckle a little. “Guess you didn’t sleep either last night.”
“Not really, no.” He comes up from his sleeping position and stretches, making me gaze in awe at his well-built features.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Why am I drooling like this? This is so unlike me. I never fall for the bad boy. I never like guys who act like him, aloof and cocky. Why is this so different?
Frowning, I sigh, and start twiddling with my pen.
“You always come so close to guys you barely know?” he suddenly says.
I open my mouth to say something, but I have no clue what he’s talking about. Shaking my head, I say, “What?”
“You were only a few inches away from my face a couple of seconds ago.”
I blush hearing him say that. I know I was, but I’d rather not be reminded of something embarrassing.
“I’m just trying to help,” I say.
“I don’t need any help,” he says, clearing his throat.
“You said the same thing last night.”
“Yeah, and I meant it.”
“Well, you sure looked like you could use some help,” I say, pursing my lips.
He sighs. “As if it could do anything. As if it could solve my problems.”
“Maybe it could, if you’d accept it.”
He slams his hand on the table, and the sudden bang makes me jolt up in my seat. He stares at me, the look in his eyes violent.
“Nothing, nothing, can help me,” he says, his nostrils flaring.
My eyes sting with tears, and my hands form fists just from anger. “Fine. Whatever. I’m just trying to help. You don’t have to take it.”
His hand slips from the table, and he turns his head toward the exit, probably thinking of a way to escape. He’s still breathing heavily, and I feel terrible because of his sudden outburst.
But we barely know each other. This whole thing, the way he’s acting, is not because of me. Something must’ve happened to him to make him act like this. I wonder what’s bothering him so much that it makes him so explosive.
Was it the phone call?
“Look … I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
I bite my lip as I almost see him think. He’s staring at his table, probably mulling over his words, over what is happening in his life.
Sometimes I wish I could see inside.
“I just had a rough night, and I’m kind of pissed about it, okay?”
“I understand,” I say.
He nods, still looking like he’s thinking about a whole lot of things at the same time. “Okay.”
I know I said I understand, but I don’t. I’m only saying it so he won’t be so angry anymore. It frightened me, but at the same time I’m still trying to figure out what the hell is going on in his mind.
*
It’s hot outside, and the sky is clear blue. There’s not a speck in the sky, and I feel good just being here. I’m sitting on the grass together with Evie. We’re studying and enjoying the nice weather. I like changing the location sometimes, keeps my brain from dozing off. Besides, the excitement of a new room quickly fades if you spend hours and hours locked up there.
Evie’s eating an apple, and every time she takes a bite it sounds like a horse is chewing.
I wince at the sound.
I look up, and before I can say anything I see a girl in a tight black dress stumbling over the grass, coming toward us in her sky-high heels. Scarlet.
I poke Evie in the side, and she almost drops her apple. With one eyebrow raised, I say, “Look who’s coming.”
When she sees Scarlet, she stops chewing. “Oh. My. God. Is she coming to us? Oh, please, no.”
I nod, sighing. I try to put up a smile for the girl, but I know everyone can see it’s fake.
“Hey girls!” she says with her usual cheerful voice. “What are you doing?”
Evie holds up her book and dangles it in the air without saying anything. Then she takes another bite of her apple to ensure she doesn’t have to speak.
“Studying,” I say.
“Oh … interesting,” Scarlet says, and she puts up a pretentious smile. “Mind if I join you?”
Before either of us can protest, she sits down on our blanket with her legs crossed like a real princess.
“Well don’t wait on us,” Evie snaps, and she throws away the apple.
“Wait for what?” Scarlet says.
Evie frowns and shakes her head, then she whispers in my ear, “Brains of a sheep.”
I muffle a laugh and hide it behind my hand. “Look, we really just want to study,” I say.
“I know. I was planning to do the same, but when I saw you girls out here I thought I could join you.” She smiles brightly, as if she thinks it’ll help convince us to let her stay.
Well, it’s not like she’s been mean. We have.
It’s just that she’s so not Brody’s type. He used to like the geeky girls. The strong girls. Not the Barbie-doll types. And from the looks of it, that’s all she’s got.
“Oh, and you know about English literature?” Evie scoffs.
“As a matter of fact, I do. I followed a class about poetry in high school.”
Evie chortles and has trouble stopping herself from bursting out into laughter. “Okay. If you say so.”
“Besides, you guys and Brody are friends, so I thought I should get to know you guys.”
Evie rolls her eyes and glances at me.
“Actually … I’m here to ask you for a favor,” Scarlet continues. “I’m doing research about discrepancies between the different social classes and common portrayals of stereotypes. I thought you girls could help me out with that, since you seem just like the type to discuss this. I study sociology,” she says.
My jaw drops. I’m struck in awe by the fact that her words came out in a way that make her seem smart. Her clothing and the way she acts hides all that, but now I’m starting to think she’s smarter than we thought. Maybe we misjudged her.
From the corner of my eye I see Brody approaching. He’s frowning heavily and his lips are smashed together. He doesn’t look happy.
“Scarlet!” he yells as he marches closer.
She turns her head, and when she sees him she starts waving. “Hey!”
“What are you doing?” he says with a high-pitched voice, as if he can’t believe she’s here.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“You know you can’t be in the sun,” Brody says to her, ignoring my question. “Are you just going to ignore the doctor’s advice?”
“No, I was just talking. I didn’t plan on staying long,” she says, pursing her lips. “It’s just sun. Nothing scary about that.”
“You know it’s too hot for you!”
“Brody. It’s the sun. What’s your problem?” Evie snarls. “She have a heart disease or something?”
“Yes,” he snaps.
“What does the sun have to do with heart problems?” I ask.
“It’s none of your business,” he says, furious.
I draw back and look at him in confusion, while he grabs Scarlet’s arm and pulls her to her feet.
“Your heart is too fragile for this. You know better than to expose yourself to danger.”
“As if the sun is going to make my heart explode,” Scarlet says. “C’mon, Brody. A little warmth isn’t going to kill me.”
“You don’t know that. If you heat up too much your heart has to work way too hard to cool you down. There are risks. You know all this,” he explains.
She sighs. “It’s my heart, Brody. I know. I know the limits. Don’t tell me what to do.” She jerks her arm loose and turns her head away from him in defiance.
He lets out a huge breath. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Thanks, but I can take care of myself.”
He frowns. “I don’t have time for your nonsense. Sta
y if you want. I just want you to be safe.”
“Well, thanks, but see ya,” she says, still ignoring him.
In the meantime, Evie and I look at each other with raised eyebrows, both thinking the same thing. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but it has something to do with her heart. And Brody is acting like a total bitch because of it.
God, this is so not how I remember him from high school.
Has it been so long? Has he changed so much in the last couple of years?
He storms off again, and after a while Scarlet gazes at him with a sad look on her face. “I’m sorry, girls. I don’t …”
“Yeah, we know,” Evie says, nodding. “Don’t apologize for him. Not your fault.”
She smiles lightly. “Thanks. I’m sorry. I really have to go. But I’d really like to hang with you sometime.”
“Yeah …” I say, and a pathetic laugh comes out of my mouth. “Maybe sometime later.”
“Okay. Well, see ya!” She waves and then runs after Brody.
“Jesus. That girl’s something else,” Evie says after a while.
“Tell me about it.”
“I did not expect that.”
“No, I didn’t know she had heart problems. Kind of puts things in perspective.”
Evie hums in agreement. I’m staring at the grass, thinking about the whole scene. Brody really reacted over the top. I’m not sure it was necessary.
“Well, even if she has heart problems, it shouldn’t give Brody permission to act like that,” I say. “I think Brody’s really turned into a jerk.”
Evie chuckles. “Now you’re saying.”
“Yeah, well, I hate to admit it, but it’s true. He’s changed. A lot.”
“I wonder why. I mean, you always said he was the nicest guy you ever met. Then when I met him I thought you were crazy or something. He never struck me as a cool guy.”
“We used to be best friends. He always stuck up for me when I got bullied.”
“Yeah, I know. Still, he doesn’t strike me as the type to care right now.”
I nod and hum in agreement.
It’s true, what she says. I’m starting to see it more and more, but I don’t actually want to admit it. It means we’re really growing apart, and I don’t want that to happen. Before I came here I’d hoped we could be a tight bunch together, just the three of us, having fun, but now it seems he’s totally disconnecting from us. I barely see him anymore.
I don’t really want to think about it anymore, so I look at the people around me instead and focus on what they’re doing.
As I turn my head, my heart stops.
It’s Hunter.
He’s stretching his back and legs, alternating positions while staring up into the sky. His face is blank, concentrating on what he’s doing. The cut muscles hiding behind a thin layer of cotton are mesmerizing to look at, and he reminds me of those sportsmen who prepare for their challenge by increasing their limits.
He gets up on two feet and shakes off some of his energy. Then he starts hitting a large ball that’s hanging from a tree by a thick rope.
His strikes are hard and fast, and his face turns into the face of a fighter. Full of energy. Full of anger.
I don’t know which one I find more frightening.
He’s like a massive force of fury aiming for the knockout punch. On a freaking ball.
Sweat drips from his face and makes his skin shine. He’s wearing only shorts and a loose tank top, which moves fluently with his shuffling. I can clearly see his six pack through his wet shirt, and his brown nipples peeking through.
I gulp at the sight.
He looks marvelous. The way he jumps around, hitting that ball like it’s his arch enemy. He’s lightning fast and not heavy on his feet at all, even though he looks like a hulk right now. A big, fierce, manly man with biceps the size of small melons.
And it’s making me drool like a teenager.
I can’t believe I’m thinking about him like that, let alone gawking at him.
Each time he hits the ball, he sends it flying into the air, and I’m amazed at his sheer strength. The aggressiveness in his stance, his power. It’s like a magnet to my eyes.
“Looks like he’s working out,” Evie says, jerking me out of my daydream about Hunter.
The moment she opens her mouth Hunter looks our way and stares right at me. My eyes widen, and my breath falters. I suddenly feel caught in the act of admiration. Dammit, I didn’t expect him to turn around, and I certainly didn’t expect him to notice me sitting here. What an embarrassment.
My face starts to glow. His lips quirk up into a smile, and he waves a little, so I wave back.
“Autumn!” Evie says, and she pokes me in the side.
I turn my face toward her. “What?”
“Don’t encourage him.”
“He’s not even into me,” I say.
“Well it’s sure a coincidence he keeps wanting to sit next to you,” she says.
“Maybe he just doesn’t have many friends.”
“I don’t think so,” she replies, and she points at something behind us.
I turn around again and see Hunter sauntering away. My eyes follow the direction he’s going, and I notice he’s walking toward the fence. A bunch of guys wearing ragged clothes and unshaven beards stand behind the fence. They’re clustered together, and it looks like they’re talking, but I can barely see their mouths move. Their eyes skid from left to right, scanning the area, as if they’re checking to see if the coast is clear.
With a quick glance, Hunter checks if anyone’s looking, and I quickly turn my head in the hopes he didn’t see me looking. When I think it’s clear, I turn my head again and see him talking with the guys.
“What do you think they’re doing?” Evie says, squinting.
“I don’t know.”
One of the guys behind the fence rummages in his pocket and takes out something I can’t see. Suddenly they exchange something, and Hunter pushes something deep into the pocket of his jeans. Then he does the same, giving something back to them. They’re lightning quick in the trade. I can’t even see what it is, just that it’s small and lightweight.
They all nod, and the look in their eyes is harsh, as if it’s a warning of some sort.
It freaks me out.
Everything. Not just the look in their eyes. Not just the exchange. Everything about it has bad written all over it. Just like Hunter.
“Nothing good,” I murmur.
“What?” Evie says, and she crawls closer to me, lying down on the blanket.
“Nothing.” It just doesn’t look good, but I can’t say what it is either. I didn’t see anything, but I know it’s not cool. But I don’t want to worry anyone without proof.
We both peer at the boys as they part. The guys stroll away from the premises, and Hunter comes back to the college ground. I quickly turn around on my back, and Evie does the same, and we pretend we’ve been laughing all this time.
Hunter passes us, and I know he’s been looking. I don’t want him to know we saw everything. There’s no need yet. I don’t know what it is he was doing, but I’m sure it’s something he doesn’t want everyone to know. And I intend to keep it that way, as I’m far too scared to face the consequences if I did tell anyone.
Yep, I’m chicken-shit.
Chapter 5
Chicken-shit
My hand is hovering close to the door of Brody’s dorm room, but I can’t pull the trigger and actually knock. I’ve been meaning to talk to him for the past couple of days now, but I can’t figure out for the life of me how to start this conversation. I don’t like fighting with my friends, but at the same time I don’t want it to continue the way it’s going right now. He’s important to me, and I can’t lose him. I want to see if I can change this.
I’m shaking from top to bottom as I blow out a final breath before knocking.
The waiting seems like minutes, but I know it’s only been a few seconds. Still, he doesn’t op
en the door. He doesn’t even respond.
I knock again, but still there’s nothing.
“Brody?” I call.
Nothing.
“Hey, Autumn.”
I turn around and Evie’s walking up to me.
“Do you know where Brody is?”
“Yeah, I just saw him downstairs. He’s hanging in the lounge room with a couple of his weird friends. Not a good idea,” she says.
“Well, I still want to talk to him.”
“Why? Is it important? He seemed too busy laughing his ass off at fat girls passing by.”
With furrowed brows, I say, “What? He would never do that. That’s not like him. At. All.”
“Tell that to the girl who ran past me, bawling her eyes out.”
I bite my lip. “I think we just need a good talk.”
“And you think that’s going to help?” One of her eyebrows lifts.
“We’ve been friends forever, he’ll listen to me.”
She sighs. “Look, Autumn, I get that you were best friends and all, but Brody’s really changed. And it’s not for the good.”
“Maybe if I can talk some sense into him he’ll …”
“Don’t count on it.”
I look down at the floor, mulling over my idea to talk it over, get this cleared up and out of the way. But Evie’s words ring true. She’s not one to make this stuff up. I know for a fact Brody’s changed, but I still think I can get through to him. I shouldn’t give up until I’ve tried.
“If you really want to do it, I’ll come with you,” Evie says, and she hooks her arm around mine.
I smile. “Thanks.”
“What would you do without me?” She winks, and it makes me laugh.
We go downstairs and into the student lounge. Brody’s sitting there with his supposed ‘friends,’ who don’t fit at all with what I had in mind for his friends. They’re skinny, well-built, have smug faces, and some of them have girlfriends hanging on their laps. I don’t remember Brody being like this, but now that I see him sitting there with Scarlet by his side, pretending he’s all that, he seems different than before.
They’re talking loud, and I can barely hear what they’re saying, because they’re all yapping through each other’s conversations. They’re also smoking, even though that’s not allowed, but it doesn’t smell like tobacco. It stinks, and I feel like I’ve just entered a private party.
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