“Yeah. Love you too.” I squinted, watching him walk out and couldn’t help but cry when he left the carriage house. I cried the entire time, waiting for him to come back with my damn clothes. I turned on the bedroom light when the front door slammed upon his return. He loves me. So why is he being so weird? I need him, I need him.
He was quiet when he reentered the room in a clean, dry outfit. He did help me dress and kissed my face, but I felt like we were losing something because of my damn freakout. I felt like I was back in the stranglehold of the black vines that were ripping me away from him. It was true! I was doused in terror, locked in a room by myself.
“Do you want me to drive your car back? I don’t think it’s safe for you to drive all the way home in your state. I’ll just walk back here.”
I nodded and cried into my fist.
“What’s wrong, Addison? Please don’t cry.”
Sniffing, I wiped my face and clutched my stomach with both hands. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to leave you. I feel so weird, shaky, sad and out of it. I don’t want to be away from you. I need to explain what happened, but I can’t get the words out. I can’t say it.”
“It’s okay. You can try and tell me tomorrow. All right?” He pulled me into his arms and stroked my hair. “I wish we had more time for loving and comfort, but we need to get you back.” He kissed my lips, slowly and softly. “I have some water for you and granola bars? Do you need any?”
“No. I only need you.” I sniffed again.
“I know, baby. I wish we had more time. You were out of it for so long.”
Holding my hand, he rubbed it with his thumb as he walked me to my car and helped me into the passenger seat. I was on the brink of bawling the entire time he drove me back. He parked the car on Victory Road. “I’m not sure what to do now. You can’t keep your car here. Can you drive the rest of the way?”
“Yeah. I’ll deal. It’s two turns. One and fifty hundred feet at most.”
He got out without another word, and I slid over and watched him walk away in my mirror. I was hoping for one more kiss, a lengthy one, or a stroke on my hair, or another, “I love you, Sweet Thing,” but I was too exhausted to chase him down and too terrified I’d get a huff or a moment of hesitation if I called him back. I was being ridiculous, such a damn baby. He did turn when he reached the corner to watch me maybe and make sure I got back safely. At least, that’s what I hoped. I drove the short distance without crashing into anything or hopping any curbs.
When I slipped into DG Manor with silence, I rushed to my room, praying no one would stop me because I knew I’d breakdown and crash right on the spot. In the clear, I smashed into bed in my clothes and button shoes and buried myself under the covers. Shayna wasn’t back yet, maybe she was in the Rec room, but Renee was in bed and already out cold. Great. The room smelled like her feet.
Sobs and sniffles pulsed out of me. What the hell! Did that actually happen to me? Did that fucker really pinch me like that? Did my mom actually say that?
I pulled my phone into my cover cave with me and texted, Call me, Sir...Logan. Please. I need you...even if it’s just to hear you breathe. Luv U.
I waited but I didn’t get anything. It was 2:18 when I finally gave up and stuck my phone on the desk beside my bed. My pussy was sore, deep deep inside. It felt cut and achy. But my heart hurt far worse and my mind was mush. Reliving my fuck in the rain, I fell asleep clutching myself between the legs.
I texted my fifth message at breakfast. Why aren’t you calling me, Logan??? WTF! I need to sort SHIT out myself. Please call me!!!! Probably the fake kind you pour out of a carton, the scrambled “eggs” the morning cook made tasted like paste. I gagged them down, but at least she’d kept up with the shopping this week. The berry salad she tossed together wasn’t too bad though and perked my taste buds a little with the tart bits of citrus.
Gloria, the house mother, asked if I was hung over. Yeah, she’d know all about that.
I just told her I felt queasy.
I sleepwalked through all my classes. I couldn’t say what happened in them or what any prof said. My body was shaking most of the day and my mouth was all dry and my fingers itchy.
With Logan not calling or texting me, I felt severed from him, torn in half and totally gutted.
I miss sucking your cock, I wrote, hoping that a more sexual text would nudge him to write back. He didn’t. Maybe my whining was annoying. Maybe he needed space. Space was the very last thing I needed though. I wanted to crawl into his skin. I was still foggy and feeling weird and dizzy and now, abandoned and despised.
Can I worship you at some point today? I’d like to, but you’re not checking in. Were you hit by a car or something on the way back??? You are freaking me out! Seriously.
What the hell was going on? As soon as my last class was up, I tore over to his house and punched in the code at the gate. It said, ERROR. Error? I tried again and got the same message. He changed it? Already? That did not bode well. My nerves crackled and a boulder of anxiety landed in my gut and it made my body prickle. Not giving up that easily, I scaled brick, climbed over and landed on my feet then butt with an “Oooff”. I got up, dusted off and ran for the door, pounding it with all my might when I got there.
Geoffrey opened it with a sneer and a nauseating elevator gaze.
“Where’s Logan? Is he home?”
“Yes, but the Master of the house asks not to be disturbed.”
“I don’t fucking care what he says. Get out of my way, you goon.” I tried to bypass him and he twisted my arm, shoved my ass out the door and slammed it behind me.
“Ow. Fuck!” After pounding the door to no success, I scanned the estate and followed the mansion around to the back where Logan’s room was. I cupped my hands around my mouth as I shouted at his window. “You are a fucking coward, Logan. If you have something to say to me, then be a man about it and get it done. Don’t leave me in a lurch. If you are un-claiming me, then do it already. Release me, so I can move on and find another Dom. But I don’t want THIS to be over. We’re so perfectly fucked-up together. I miss our boxes. I need you. Please!”
I waited and got nothing. My heart burst, and I fell to my knees and cried and pounded the dirt. “I hate your guts, I hope you know. Errr. I hate you. You totally suck!”
My screamfest didn’t matter. Nor did the passage of time. Three days later, I still hadn’t heard from Sir, or idiot Logan, whatever the hell he wanted to be called now. Not a text, not a phone call, nothing. I tried to stalk him on Friday and catch him after his afternoon classes, waiting outside the doors like a teen with a crush on a teacher, but he skipped.
I was trapped in my bedroom with a goddamn pink light that was all whirl-whap with bars over the windows. I couldn’t get out and go back to my bliss. And a monster was in there with me, sitting in a chair in the corner, just waiting to pounce and pinch my clit in a vile, disgusting way. I needed Logan’s touch badly to override that horror. I needed his kiss, his commands, his sexy body.
Shayna was worried about my atypical moping, always looking at me like a homeless puppy and asking if I was okay. Hell, no, I’m not okay. But I didn’t tell her about my boxes with Logan nor about the monster with the book who may or may not have molested me. I lied and said my parents might be getting a divorce. They should. They weren’t even a couple anymore, if they ever were.
As much as I wanted to be brave and strong and push past my misery, Logan was all I could think about, and the lack of contact from my Dom weighed me down like a pallet of cement blocks. I still did the things he asked me to do on Monday for his list of expectations for the week, like fingering myself to the brink every time I went to the bathroom without allowing myself come, walking around with no underwear, buying a new toy—licorice of course—,wearing anal beads for at least two hours every night. And I sent him journal entries daily, especially regarding our scene. I didn’t tell him about how and why I crashed though. I wanted to work through that in person b
ecause I couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t. I really think it happened though and that my mom is bitchier than I ever realized.
I felt so robbed and crushed that Logan took my virginity and didn’t even have the consideration or heart to call to see if I was okay, if I was hurting, or if I still had marks from the flogger or the paddle or the crop, which I did, thank you very much, all over my ass and thighs, though they were sadly fading away and so close to gone.
Being Saturday, I didn’t know if Shayna was going to get spanked by Logan today. Most likely not. I didn’t know what to tell her. Left with only the trash of ugly memories and some bruises and welts from kink, I had trouble getting out of bed. I kept getting shoved back to sleep by depression and weariness. What if I never heard from him again? Not one peep from my Lord? The possibility of never hearing his voice or feeling his kiss again was a hell I could not bear. Why was he doing this? Treating me like dirt when he swore he wouldn’t?
I jolted awake for the third time this morning, shouting his name in a mortal cry. In a sweaty panic, I clutched my rapidly rising chest and lost grip on a snivel. Everything that mattered to me was getting jerked out of my hands. Likely even my spot in this House.
Because Brianna was standing in my opened doorway, her arms crossed, eyes squinted, lips scrunched up enough to make her look ugly.
SORORITY PLEDGE 6:
Sub, Even In Sunlight
CHAPTER 1
“Logan?” Brianna snipped in my doorway. “I hope to God you’re not talking about that freak in the hills.” Her arms were still crossed and her glare at me deepened.
Not even caring to hide it anymore, I sat up in bed and flailed my arms. “Why yes, I was, though there are other Logans in the world. He’s soooo unbelievably sexy and hot and...” I trailed off, looking away, humming quietly. I was gonna say “sweet”, but at present, his kiss-my-ass silence didn’t exactly flood me with a burst of sugar-glazed flowers and sunshine. “God.”
She sucked my attention back when she spat, “Uhhkkk. You’re crushing on him? You can’t be serious.”
“Your fault. You neglected to mention him to me before Halloween, but I liked what I saw in the windows. I felt bad for what I did and made it up to him with treats and candy. We’re friends now, maybe more. What’s it matter to you who I like or don’t like?” I went to climb out of bed and froze because of my marks. They were mostly gone thanks to virgin coconut oil, and time. But there were still a few hints of green and purple on my thighs from the hard pinches or the crop, and I’d ditched my flannel PJs for cotton boy shorts and a UConn T-shirt. I jerked my blankets up to my chest. “Man, it’s chilly,” I muttered, though it really wasn’t. It was uncommonly warm for November actually, which was why I was in next to nothing. “What do you want? Can you spit it out and leave please, and close the door behind you so I can dive back under the covers?”
“No, I don’t think so. I wanted to let you know about a party at Blaze tonight. You’ve looked down in the dumps, and I thought it might perk you up. It’s just dancing, no booze or anything sexual. But, I’m even more glad I came by. Maybe I can knock some sense into you. Really. You need to listen to me, Addison, and stay away from him. He’s a horrible, horrible guy. I’m not even kidding. He’s probably the reason you look and feel so trashed. He’s a conceited beast. Definitely not someone you wanna hook up with.”
Yeah, a little too late for that. “That’s not exactly my plan, but why not? What’s the big deal? Within the past few days, I’ve heard you refer to him as an idiot, a player, a bastard, a creep and a half dozen other things. And now, a conceited beast and a freak? I can make up my own mind. I don’t need you to babysit me or knock anything into my head. Even if he is truly all those things, why do you even care? Why do you exhaust so much time and energy trying to make him miserable and sabotage his love life. You already have a guy who loves you to pieces. Logan didn’t want you. Get over it. You can’t stake a claim on a guy who was never even yours to begin with.”
She scoffed and shook her head. “Oh...is that what he told you. Ah, I see. Friends? You must be his latest rabbit.”
My face flashed to hot and my lips moved aimlessly until I glued them shut because words weren’t there. Burning films of liquid erected in my eyes. Did he lie to me? Did he? Right now I wasn’t entirely certain which one was the liar. I’d go with Logan as the honest one, but I really couldn’t kiss and roll the dice on it without having my stomach cramp up in anxiety. My poor pillow held so many lost tears, it could rain.
Her smirk slashed me with its lance of satisfaction. “I’m just trying to look out for my sisters, Addison. I know how hot he is. And it’s more than that. I know the effect he has. There are a bunch of untruths going around about what happened between us, but I felt his seductive power myself and fell for him. Hard. It sucked me into his arms and left me demolished. Right after he fucked me, for all of three minutes in a hotel room, he tossed me out and dropped me like a lump of burning coal. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt the way I was. So, yeah, I’m kind of on a rampage. I mean, wouldn’t you be, to try to save your friends from the same misery? I’d certainly hope so. Heed my warning, or will suffer for it. Of lesser importance, think about going to the party. The booked band totally rocks. I hope you can make it and get back to your happy, driven self.” She waved her hand up and down at me. “I don’t know who this sad sack is at all. Same goes for Shayna. I don’t know what her freaking deal is. You two are pathetic. Get some damn lives. And cool personalities while you’re at it.” She flipped her wavy locks over her shoulders and left me shivering with a door slam.
The pools of anguish holding steady on the rims of my eyelids finally felt free to fall, but I brushed them away with my fingertips and swore under my breath. My heart and lungs ached so badly, I smacked my mouth with both hands to stuff sobs at the gate. Was she serious about all that? Dead-evil smirk aside, she did sound sincere, her voice cracking and all. If so, that meant he lied, lied, lied to me. He fucked her? No, no way. I was close to puking over that nasty image. But he did drop me without a glance back too, right after. He did. And he left me demolished. Maybe the person I tagged a witch was actually a guardian of hearts, and the person I thought a god, really the devil? Was that even possible? No, he loves me, he loves me, I know it. I’m his prize, right? My nipples look like gumdrops! I have to talk to him! She was making me doubt everything he ever said and did.
Though I’d given up hearing from him and doubted I would now, I cocooned myself in the covers with my phone and texted, Where the fuck are you? I’m freaking out beyond belief. Are you spanking Shayna today or not? I can kind of understand if you’re pissed at me for what I said or may have said when I was flipping out, but she doesn’t deserve to get snubbed. Please answer me. I need to talk to you. Today. Or it’s over. I’m done. I can’t hurt like this.
My phone chirped a few minutes later, and my stomach dropped. What if he just wrote, ‘OK, bye’? I was terrified to look, and peeked through a squint.
I’m not pissed at YOU. I’m pissed at myself. Get your sassy asses over here by noon. Be in skirts. Preferably short ones. Panties are fine with me. You may touch yourself, if you wish.
What? That’s it? There’s no, “Sorry, baby, for blowing you off for half a week after fucking you in the mud, forcing you to eat my cock, and making you crash under the rhythm of my floggers?” And why does he give a shit what I wear? Are we on or not? He was doing me this favor anyway, which seemed all the more giving of him now that I knew how sacred spanking was to him. And at least he was talking to me again and sounding somewhat back to normal with his flirty demands. He didn’t agree with the total destruction of our THIS and all our pretty boxes, so I had to be grateful for something, but I went from being crushed, worried and weepy to outright furious in a nanosecond.
I tapped out, Yes, Sir, but deleted it and stabbed him with, Whatever, Logan. We’ll be there. I ground my jaw. No way was he getting that title back until
he fucking earned it. I hoped he’d call to give me some lovin’ and put me at ease. He didn’t, which only made me more pissed.
I showered, exfoliated and airbrushed my whole body, paying special attention to my legs and butt. Good and lightly golden, I brought Renee’s mirror over to the window to check out my backside in sunlight to be sure I didn’t miss any spots. The faint splotches of green and purple were masked by a subtle tan, like a fading holdout from summer. Perfect. My legs didn’t look uneven or splotchy from what I could tell, but I sprayed one more layer on the backs of my thighs to be sure.
Opening the window for a temp check, I found it pleasantly warm outside too, so I put on a paisley sundress, a white button-up sweater, and strappy heels.
When Shayna freshened up after her run, she put a short-sleeved sweater and a short skirt, well, short for her, landing three inches above her thigh. Her toned dancer body made her look sexy and sporty at the same time.
“Wear the wedges, Shay. Don’t be afraid to show off what you got. I wish I had sensational legs like that. Mine are celery stalks.”
“Whatever. Your legs are awesome. You’ve got about three inches on me. I’d take that little bit extra any day. ” Looking over her shoulder in the shoes I suggested, she checked her butt out in the mirror and flattened the front of her skirt with her palms. “You’re right. Love these shoes. I can never go wrong with more height. My ass looks pretty hot too.” She slapped her lips, then laughed at her swear.
I laughed. “Trash mouth. I won’t tell.”
We stepped out of Delta Gamma Manor, looking ready for that party at 11 o’clock in the morning. The cloudless, warm day promised good things, but I wasn’t so sure I could trust its proclamation.
Shay and I wolfed down coffee and donuts for late breakfast because she wanted something sweet and sugary. A donut kind of defeats the purpose of a run if you ask me. I’d go for healthier carbs, but whatever. We were sugared up, and she was all twitchy when I rang the bell at the Thorndike mansion.
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