Jack was also a touchy bastard, and he had probably been about to drag Shelby in some closet to fuck. He smiled and punched me back. “What the fuck, Nik?” he asked playfully, but he was probably genuinely irritated he wasn’t going to get laid.
"Hey, Becker, I need to talk to you," I said, eying Shelby meaningfully. Shelby was standing there, rubbing her hands up and down Jack’s chest, clearly looking to continue what he’d started.
Jack turned to her, released her and said, "Later,” he said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms and turning his attention completely to me. This was another characteristic of Jack’s. He was completely dismissive of women if he wasn’t trying to fuck them. He was kind of an asshole.
Shelby, unhappy with being so abruptly blown off, started to pout. "Will I see you at the party tonight? Maybe we should go together." She rubbed her hands up and down his arm, her eyes peeking up under her lashes. I could see how that shit normally worked for her. She was a knockout, with long blond hair, dark green eyes, and a body worth a second look. With any other guy, she’d have him on his knees.
Jack wasn't just any guy, though.
Unmoved, Jack gave her a cold stare, silently reminding her they were not dating, and this type of shit was not something he responded to. Women were always trying to get a commitment out of Jack. His emotionally unavailable persona was like a drug to them, as though they were unable to resist trying to reform him. Shelby slowly removed her hand and swallowed at Jack’s brutal reminder.
"Leave, Shelby," Jack said curtly.
Jack was a bigger asshole to women than even me, and that was saying something. I wasn’t really an asshole; I just didn’t want anything more than a lay. Jack could be a real dick, but only if they pushed him to give more than he wanted, which was usually nothing.
I thought one of the reasons Jack and I were so close was because we were both such assholes. We didn't look much alike, me with dark hair and blue eyes, and Jack with medium brown hair and green eyes, but that didn't mean we weren't cut from the same cloth. I mean, you didn’t get this way because you had a traditional upbringing, which neither of us had. We just were who we were. Some girls were just into assholes, unfortunately for them.
Shelby stared at him, her face full of longing, frustration, and irritation. “Fine,” she muttered and stormed off.
Jack rolled his eyes in aggravation. "What's up?" he asked, clearly irritated by the drama.
I grinned at him. “If you’re going to fuck them, you’re going to have to deal with the drama, bro.”
Jack smirked and punched me again. “What the fuck do you want, Ivanov?”
"I need you to take care of something for me today. I kind of got myself into a situation."
His eyebrows shot up. I didn’t do things I didn’t want to do, so for me to admit I got caught up in this thing with Hannah was going to be awkward to explain. I still barely understood why I was doing it myself.
He stiffened. "What kind of situation?"
I sighed and leaned against the lockers. I understood his reaction, his concern. He knew shit had gone down over the summer with my dad. He knew that I’d been getting primed to be made, when I’d suddenly pulled away. I didn't really get into it with him because I hated talking about it, and I didn't want to lay all that bullshit in his lap. However, I needed him to understand this was a far less serious issue, if similarly aggravating. So, I quickly outlined Hannah's situation and how I was going to help her out with Connors.
Jack frowned at me, cocking his head slightly to the left.
"What?" I said, somewhat defensively.
"Nothing, just . . . I'm surprised you're even doing this. Is this the only way this chick will fuck you or something?"
I swallowed my laugh. He’d obviously never seen Hannah, or he wouldn’t have asked me that. Although, she was the littlest bit attractive, once you overlooked all her terrible clothes and lack of grooming.
"Jesus, no, you fuckhead. She just managed to make me feel bad for her." I have never uttered those words in my life, and it made me uncomfortable to say them out loud. They were considered weakness in my world. I quickly deflected. "Since when do I do all this shit just to fuck some chick? There are plenty to choose from with far less effort." This was also true.
Jack still looked confused by my motives, but slowly nodded his head. "True. Okay, what do you need me to do?”
Chapter 5
Hannah
I went to my next class still in a state of shock. Nikolai was going to help me; I still couldn’t believe it. He was terrifying and talking to him still made me want to break out in a cold sweat and throw up, but it was worth it for his help.
I knew he didn’t want to do this, and to be honest, I had no idea why he’d agreed. I guessed I played the pity card pretty heavily. Not that I was pretending to be a victim; I really was desperate. I hoped he wasn’t angry that he’d agreed. I figured I could deal with his anger for the time it took to convince Jeff, and everyone else, that we were dating and scare him off for my remaining months in high school. Thinking about that freedom felt like a noose loosening from around my neck.
One thing that was bugging me for the first time in a long time was how I presented myself. I never cared before because the whole point in dressing this way was to be unattractive, but having Nikolai look so horrified at my appearance felt embarrassing and depressing. Nikolai was hot, and even though it would have never normally occurred to me to ask him out in a real sense, having this new access to him made me acutely aware of how disheveled I had become. Not only had I committed to my bummy look, but it wasn’t even working. Jeff still asked me out all the time.
I felt my phone vibrate with a text and pulled it out of my pocket to stare at it dumbly. Nobody ever texted me. I mean, my sister did when she needed to be picked up, or my mom when she was running late, but I rarely got texts in the middle of the day since I had blocked all of Jeff’s numbers. I stared at it for a minute longer, then it pinged again to remind me I had an unread text. I swiped my ancient IPhone 3 open to read it.
Nikolai: Connors will be taken care of soon.
While I got this little thrill looking at his name on my phone, his message wasn’t exactly swoon-inducing. I immediately responded.
Hannah: Really? What are you going to do?
I stood there waiting like a moron for him to immediately text me back, waiting to see those dots that showed he was typing. Needless to say, there were no dots. Feeling stupid, I put my phone away and walked into math class as the bell rang.
I was pulling out my notebook when the ping from my pocket caused some of the students who sat near me to turn and frown in my direction. I never had to put my phone on silent before because nobody ever texted me. I quickly grabbed it and flicked it to vibrate, then swiped open my screen to look at the message. I would have gotten caught if I ever did this type of thing in class before, but since I sit near the back and typically have no social life to speak of, the teacher never even glanced at me.
Nikolai: Don’t worry about it.
Now, I had literally no experience communicating with guys, so I didn’t know how to interpret text messages. Was that a fast response time or slow? Should I be offended he didn’t say more? Oh my god, he is the guy I asked to be my fake boyfriend and I’m totally obsessing over him.
At the end of second period, when I was gathering all of my stuff in order to make a mad dash to my third period class, I overheard Ethan James and Richard Novak talking about Jeff.
"I just got a text from my girlfriend,” Ethan said, still looking at his phone. “She said Matt Peterson was dribbling a basketball in gym class, made a bad pass and threw it directly into Jeff Connors' face. Knocked him out cold. Get this, Connors wasn't even playing, he was sitting in the bleachers," Ethan said, snickering at Jeff's misfortune. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought Jeff was a dick.
I sat back in my chair for a minute to let this information soak in. Nikolai had kept his sword. Ins
tead of running to my next class like I was being chased by a gang of zombies, I could just walk. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder or wait until class started to use the bathroom. I felt drunk with relief and liberation.
I gathered my books and exited the classroom more slowly than any other student.
Just because I could.
As I leisurely walked the halls of a place that had become more like a prison, I felt tears rush to my eyes. I was suddenly aware how stressful this whole situation had been. I didn't realize how much I had accommodated Jeff. How much I had just accepted the everyday feelings of fearfulness, caution, and paranoia. How joyless my life had become and how unfair it all was. How angry I was that he had stolen my high school experience from me. I was almost overwhelmed with feelings, some of them conflicting. Above them all, though, was gratitude.
Nikolai had come through for me. It wasn’t that Jeff had never missed a day of school, because he had. It was that, for the first time, I was able to share my problem with someone and receive help. I almost couldn’t believe how quickly he had handled things. I was already acting like a dork about him, so my feelings of giddy appreciation weren’t helping.
As I arrived at my next class relaxed and safe, I swear, if Nikolai had been standing in front of me I would have kissed him in gratitude. Being honest, gratitude wouldn’t have been my only motivator.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and swiped it open, pulling up the thread of our brief conversation.
Hannah: Thank you for getting rid of Jeff for the day! How did you do it? How did you get Matt Peterson to hit him? Are you sure you don’t want the seven hundred dollars?? Is there anything else I can give you?
I sent the message, the last couple of questions revealing that while I was grateful for Nikolai’s intervention, I was starting to get darts of discomfort for not providing anything in return for his assistance. I was used to handling things on my own, and even though I had actively pursued him as an ally, I was now feeling weird about it.
Again, I stood there like an idiot waiting for the bubbles to appear, when the bell rang. As I headed for the door to my class, I wondered if I was going to be doing this every period. Suddenly, the phone vibrated in my hand.
Nikolai: It’s fine, don’t thank me. I definitely don’t want your money. What else do you have to offer?
I felt heat rush to my cheeks. Am I crazy? Was he flirting with me? Or was he teasing me? Or worse—mocking me. I was so outside my comfort zone, that if the comfort zone was the Earth and I would be on some planet nobody had ever heard of.
Me: What do you want?
I couldn’t believe I sent that. I’d never more fiercely wanted another girl’s opinion about what to do than I did in that moment. I put the phone away in my pocket because I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear his response. What if he had been mocking me? I just added fuel to that fire.
Chapter 6
Nikolai
I didn’t know why I was fucking around texting Hannah. I could practically feel her anxious pauses after each one I sent, particularly after the last one. In all honesty, I didn’t want anything from her. I told her I would help because she got me to feel bad for her, and I always did what I said I was going to do.
When I got her texts, I rolled my eyes at her questions. I kept texting her because it was kind of humorous, and it’s not like she was going to get the wrong idea, like another girl might, if I kept responding to her texts. I already agreed to be her fake boyfriend, and I made it clear in about a thousand different ways that it would never become real. It seemed harmless to indulge her texting and questions, to even be a little bit flirtatious with her.
In fact, I saw her walking down the hall as she left her last class, and I was shocked at how different she seemed. When she approached me this morning, her body was as tightly wound as a newly coiled spring, and her expression only wavered between two expressions: high anxiety and deep distress. But as I watched her in the hall after I’d handled Connors, I noticed all the differences. Her posture was more relaxed, her body language appeared calm and open, and her facial expression, which was previously pinched, looked soft, happy even.
Giving her that peace of mind made me feel an uncomfortable tightening in my chest.
Chapter 7
Hannah
I walked through the rest of the day in a contented daze. When the bell rang, I slowly rose and walked out the class, actually taking the time stop by my locker and drop off my books before leaving, now that I didn’t have to make a mad dash towards the exit. This was the problem with this situation with Jeff. I didn’t think he was always looking for me, stalking me, but knowing that he might be is what kept my pulse racing and urged me to get home as quickly as possible.
I pushed the through the front doors of the school and, pathetically, wondered if I would hear from Nikolai again today. It was an indication of how empty my life was that I was becoming so consumed with my non-relationship with Nikolai.
As if I had conjured him with my thoughts, I was stopped by the now familiar ping of my cell phone.
Nikolai: I need to talk to you. Meet me at the back door by the gym.
My heart rate jumped as I re-read Nikolai’s text. I knew he wasn’t asking me to meet him in order to make out, or something like that, but I still felt a thrill course through my system at our continued communication.
I turned around and headed back into school. I felt like a salmon swimming up-stream as I fought against the tide of exiting students. My slow progress gave me time to think our text exchange. Would he be flirty in person? Or would he be cold? I didn’t know which possibility made me most nervous. I rubbed my perspiring palms on my jeans, barely noticing the bodies colliding into me as I made my way towards the heavy door at the back of the building.
This area of the school campus was fairly deserted, as all the parking and main exits were on the other side of the building, therefore we were mostly safe from anyone seeing us together.
Nikolai leaning against the brick exterior of our school, wearing an impatient frown. In an attempt to avoid his surly expression, but I found myself focusing on how his folded arms made his t-shirt pull tightly across his muscled chest and biceps.
“What took you so long?”
I guess I wasn’t going to have to worry about Nikolai flirting with me. “Everybody was leaving, it was hard to get back here,” I said defensively.
Ignoring my comment, Nikolai popped off the brick and pinned me with his wintry gaze. “That hit Connors took today should sideline him until at least tomorrow, but if I need to take out him for the week, I need to know exactly how extensive I need to get with him.”
I frowned in confusion.
“How much does he harass you? Does he still follow you home, or does he just follow your around school? Basically, do I just have to deal with him when he’s at school, or do I need to do something more…immobilizing.”
I gulped at that language. I didn’t want to make Nikolai do more than the absolute bare minimum
“Well, he’s sort of inconsistent. Usually, he just bugs me here, but this year….” Nikolai nodded his head in understanding.
“Okay, I can figure something out. Jesus, I wish I could just beat the shit out of this kid and be done with it,” Nikolai grumbled.
I started to feel guilty about how much my problems were eating into his time. I didn’t want him to get sick of hassle. “Look, Nikolai, I know I said before that I didn’t want to you to have to hurt anyone to deal with this, but I understand if that’s the route you want to go. I mean, if you think that will get rid of him…” I could hardly endorse this plan if it wasn’t going get rid of Jeff.
Nikolai cocked his head stared at me for a moment, then shook his head. “No, I can’t do that anyway. All I’ve done at this school for the past three years is fight. Connors’ old man is looking for a reason to expel me, and I made a promise to finish high school.”
I was surprised that his unexpected candor. Mad
e a promise to whom? The mysterious Katya?
“Wouldn’t Principal Connors be too afraid to expel you?” I didn’t want to directly bring up Nikolai’s dad again, since he was obviously a bit touchy about that subject.
Nikolai leaned back against the building, hands in his pockets, and tilted his head back. I held my breath to see if he’d respond to my question.
“You’d think that, right?” Nikolai spoke, though he was still looking at the sky. “When I was a freshman, my dad was brought into the school because I got in another fight. I knew he didn’t care about me fighting; Christ, it’s practically mandatory training for the mob. I knew I wouldn’t get in trouble in the traditional sense. The principal threatened to expel me if I didn’t settle down. I could tell he was nervous when he said this, I could see the sweat on his forehead, but I think his aggravation towards me got the best of his sense of self-preservation.” He smirked briefly reminiscing about the harried principal. “But my dad…he just laughed. He said it didn’t matter if I graduated or not, he had a job waiting for me. If I got kicked out of school, I could start my career earlier than expected.”
“How-how did you feel about that?” During the course of our conversation I had pushed my glasses to the top of my head, so I could take in his expression. Normally, my glasses had a weak enough prescription that they didn’t interfere too greatly with my ability to see. Additionally, I usually liked Nikolai a little fuzzy, so he didn’t seem so intimidating.
He grinned in a way that transformed his features and made me grateful for my clear vision. He looked younger, almost boyish for a moment, and freakishly handsome. I thought brooding Nikolai was the hottest Nikolai, but I was wrong.
“Well, I was happy as hell, at first. I could fuck up as much as I wanted, and my dad didn’t give a shit. It made me feel powerful, fearless.” I slowly walked over to brick wall and leaned my shoulder against it, fearful that any sudden movements would stop this unexpected moment between us.
Nikolai (Dangerous Love Series Book 1) Page 3