“Lucid dreaming,” he replied. “I have an alarm set to go if I need to wake up, but I’m not as fast as Aaron and Oliver. Or Colton. That guy could sleep anywhere. It’s a lot harder to shut my brain off.”
“So you lucid dreamed to here?”
He nodded. His gaze took in the small boy, and then I was in his arms, the boy squished between us. “Jesus, Lacey. I was so fu…” He cleared his throat and stepped away. “Freaking scared.”
I lifted an eyebrow, nice save.
My ears popped and suddenly, the guys we’d just been talking about appeared. They took in the pile of goo, the boy in my arms, and surrounded me.
“What happened?” Oliver asked. “Why would you come through a portal?”
“Something grabbed me,” I answered. “Didn’t you see?”
Oliver shook his head, and the boy tapped my shoulder. I put him on the ground, and he stared up at me. “That was my fault,” he said. “I wanted you to come.”
“We have to wake you up,” I told him, kneeling to see him eye to eye. “You can’t stay here.”
“You’ve tried before,” he said, resigned. “It never works.”
Aaron knelt next to me. “She didn’t have me those times. I can get you out of here. But you’re going to have to be brave. Can you do that?”
Eyes wide, he shook his head. “There are too many monsters.”
“Don’t worry about the monsters,” Aaron replied. “We can take care of those. What I need you to do is start to wake up.”
I didn’t want to discourage him, but it seemed like that was too simple a solution for this. The boy seemed to agree and shook his head. “Lacey already tried that.”
“My brother is really good at these things,” Oliver offered. He crossed his arms and smiled. “Give him a shot.”
A horrible thought crossed my mind. What if I couldn’t wake this boy up because he was dead? What if this portal went to hell or something?
No. I couldn’t assume the worst yet. “Let’s do it.”
Aaron nodded and then focused his attention on the boy. “Somewhere, your body is waiting for you. You look just like this. Dark hair. Your hands…” Aaron held up his hand and waited for the boy to put his palm against his. “You can squeeze your hands. And you can wiggle your toes. Go on. Wiggle them.” The boy stared down at his feet, wiggling his toes in his footy pajamas. As he did, something strange happened.
He jolted. “I felt something.”
Aaron nodded. “Let’s keep going. Maybe you’re in bed. Maybe there are people around you, and their voices are going right in your ears. These ears.” He touched the boy’s ears and then tickled his neck. “Maybe they’re tickling you like this, waiting for you to wake up and play.”
“I can feel them.” He looked at the palms of his hands. “Someone is holding my hands. They’re squeezing.” He cocked his head to one side. “And I can hear beeping. It’s annoying.”
“You’re waking up,” Aaron said quietly.
Form fading, the boy stared at his hands. “They’re squeezing really hard.” He locked eyes with Aaron. “I’m going to squeeze back.”
And then he was gone.
We had one second to look at each other before the portal vanished, shoving us back into the hall with all the doors.
“You couldn’t stay away?” Oliver nodded toward Thorn. “I thought we agreed you’d stay in the real world.”
Thorn shook his head. “You agreed. I never did such a thing. The house isn’t going to burn down around us. I put out the fire in the fireplace. Asked Rick to come wake us up tomorrow if we’re not up by noon. It’s fine. You need me here more than I need to be there.”
Oliver leaned against the wall. “You wanted to be here, fine. But don’t act like we didn’t need you to stay behind.”
Thorn threw his hands in the air. “Fine. I wanted to be here. Happy?”
“Ecstatic.” Oliver nodded toward Aaron. “Good work in there, child-whisperer.”
I sighed, rubbing Thorn’s back. “I’m glad to have you. Oliver is, too. He just doesn’t like people altering his plans.”
He groaned. “What is the purpose of having a plan if everyone is just going to do what they want?”
Well, I knew what I wanted to do. “We are going door by door, and we are going to free these people before we trap her. It’s the only way I can live with myself.”
Aaron nodded, but the others stared at me like I had two heads. Not surprising, it was Oliver who pushed back at my proclamation. “There are a lot of doors, Lacey. Do you think that’s a reasonable goal? After all, Mara wants to keep you forever. We should probably just kill her.”
“Yes.” I straightened my shoulders. “I think it’s reasonable. Since otherwise, I am going to potentially trap them endlessly in their personal hell, I think the least I could do is try to save them.” I gestured behind me with my thumb. “That one wasn’t hard.”
Colton surprised me by answering next. He pointed at the doors. “That one was a child. His nightmare was a child’s. Behind those doors? There could be all kinds of hell.”
I touched the side of his face. “I assure you, when I was a child, my nightmares weren’t a joke. The things that scare kids? They’re fucking real. Maybe this time was easy because I’ve seen the real-deal demon. But I’m not afraid of being afraid. Do this with me.” I swallowed. “Please.”
Colton brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Of course, I’m going to do this with you. I’d walk through fire and visit hell just to make you smile. You need this? It’s yours.”
I let my gaze travel to Oliver as Colton let my hand go. Aaron got it right away, and Thorn would have my back. But the guy who loved to push back? What would he say?
He smirked, that look that had always made me want to kiss him and slap him at the same time. “Pick a door. Any door.”
11
There was no one-size-fits-all hell.
If there was a take-away lesson from all this, it was that hell came in many forms. From utter and complete solitude, to endlessly dying and coming back to life.
With Colton, Oliver, Thorn, and Aaron at my side, we faced all of them. Head on.
After the child’s nightmare, we opened another door and another. And another.
Aaron’s way of waking people up didn’t always work. When it didn’t, one of the others stepped in. I thought we were getting the hang of it, playing to our strengths.
Until the final door.
“This is it,” Thorn said. He was out of breath, which was weird, considering we weren’t even awake. His shirt was soaked in sweat. Whatever we were doing was taxing. I was ready to pass out myself, and my heart pounded in my chest.
“Spiritually and physically, we’re over-exerting ourselves.” Oliver took his glasses off and wiped his arm over his forehead. “We need to be careful. What if this isn’t the last one? Or there’s more than one person in here?”
“Then we deal with it,” I replied. “That’s the only thing to do.”
He frowned, exchanging a glance with Colton, but gave a short nod. “Then let’s do this.”
I opened the door. Someone gripped my hand, and I rushed through time and space, coming to an abrupt and painful stop.
Wind whipped at my hair, and sand pelted my skin. I stood up, staring at our surroundings.
The desert. “Great.”
It was night and starkly beautiful in the way the desert could be. It should have been cold, but it wasn’t. The wind was hot, blowing harder and harder each second we stood here.
For a moment, I considered that this was part of Mara’s plan. Get me back to the desert and really fuck with me. My throat tightened, and I swallowed hard. But at least I wasn’t alone.
“See anything?”
At my side, Oliver slid his arm around my waist. He didn’t answer my question. Instead, he stared down into my face. “Are you okay?”
I couldn’t help smiling at him. This prickly, pushy man. Here h
e was, in a nightmare, for me.
So, yeah. With him next to me—with all of them next to me—I was okay. My smile must have answered his question, because he leaned over to give me a quick kiss. “Okay,” he said. “Which direction?”
I did what I had before as I lucid dreamed. I made a decision. Find the person who needs us.
There was a rush of air, and a person landed on their knees in front of us.
I would recognize that face, that hair, those shoulders, anywhere. As the man stood, turning toward us, I stared at the person whose features were so familiar, because I stared at the faces of his sons every day.
Mr. Chee was older, but his hair was still black, and his eyes still piercing.
Aaron’s mouth fell open. “Dad?”
“Is this my nightmare?” Oliver shook his head. “Or yours?”
His father reached for him, but seemed unable to stand. “How did you get in here? Get out. Get out before they come for you. It’s coming through the darkness, that demon, and it’s going to take my entire family. Until he has destroyed us all. Even if we live through it, I’ll never have my family again, because it takes her. And you never forgive me. It’s coming.”
“How long do you think he’s been stuck like this?” I looked between them. “When was the last time you guys spoke to him?”
“Not long ago. I called him about Mara.” Oliver squatted down in front of his father. “But I don’t think that time matters when it comes to nightmares. I’m wondering how long he’s been having this one in terms of repetition, not length of stay.”
Aaron took his father’s hands. “Dad. You’re asleep. And you’re trapped in a dream. A nightmare. Brought on to you by Mara, the mother of nightmares.”
Mr. Chee blinked. “What?”
“That’s right. This isn’t real. It’s a manifestation brought on by someone who wants to hurt you, because they want to hurt us. We’re here through lucid dreaming with Lacey. We attached to her—you’re the one who helped us learn how to do that, remember?”
His father got to his feet, and his sons rose at the same time. “I do, actually.”
“Good.” Aaron nodded. “Then you should be able to wake up.”
He stared at his youngest son. “Not working.”
“Okay.” Aaron squeezed his father’s hand. “Let’s give this a try. Do you feel me squeezing your hand?”
His dad nodded. “Boys, there are so many things I want to say to you.”
“Dad,” Oliver interrupted. “Now’s not the time, okay? I have lots of things I want to say to you, too. Good and bad. We need an airing of all this shit for sure, but we have to get this show on the road. Call me tomorrow. We’ll say some stuff.”
The wind pushed my hair into my face, and I turned my head to get it out. That’s when I saw who was coming for Mr. Chee. It was Erdirg. Exactly how he looked that day in the desert, exactly how he would be in my memory every day for the rest of my life.
I caught my breath, my full attention landing on Erdirg as the scene around me shifted. Mr. Chee vanished. As did the guys. That was good.
But rather than disappearing with the others, just as they did, I stayed. I wasn’t even surprised.
Erdirg waited for me.
He always did.
It was weird to be voyeur to my own life, because the demon of my past and present, of my future, of all my would be’s and could be’s wasn’t alone. No, he’d brought a friend with him. The girl I’d been. My young self who had faced him alone, found the rot inside, and used it to put him to sleep.
Funny really—this was my nightmare, but it wasn’t Erdirg who scared me. Oh no, it was myself. Because I could deny it all I wanted, pretend I was okay, but a decade of time hadn’t changed that there was something scarier than Erdirg out there—and it was me.
The girl I was stared at me. Through me. “Kill it. Like you did before. What are you waiting for?”
I stared at Erdirg.
“It’s so easy,” she said. Turning her back on me, she stared at the demon. Slowly, like the sun moving across the sky, shadows began to build around her.
Erdirg stepped back, one hoof pushing aside the sand and rock as he fought to escape. He should have run faster.
In an instant, the shadows surrounded him. They covered and dragged him out toward the desert.
And then it was just her and me.
“See how easy it is?” she asked. “Just let it out. I can feel it. Anger. Loneliness. You’re still pissed at those guys, too. They could have found you if they really wanted to.”
Where was my voice? I swallowed and shook my head, but the teenage me just raised an eyebrow.
“You’re a dream.”
The girl laughed. “Of course, I am. I’m your nightmare.” Slowly, she began to change, morphing so the roundness of her cheeks disappeared. Her hair was a little shorter, and her gaze a little sharper.
Me. Me as I was right now. “Just use what’s inside you to get what you want. If you want Mara gone, just let out the dark.”
We still stood in the desert, but as she spoke, the wind picked up, so loud it sounded like screams in my ears.
Her voice came through as clear as anything. “Let out the dark.” But just as quickly, the wind whipped it away again.
“Lacey.” Those were screams, they were voices. Voices wrapped around each other, hard to discriminate, but when I did, they were familiar.
The guys.
Ignoring me, and everything else around me, I closed my eyes and concentrated on the voices. “Lacey. Turn on the light.”
It came to me in a flash. How did anyone wake up from a nightmare? They turned on the light.
And if I did that, I would see the truth. “You’re not me,” I whispered.
The wind seemed to die down. “What?” she asked.
“You’re not me!” I yelled.
She stared at me, frozen. It was quiet in the desert now, not even her feet made a sound in the sand as she walked toward me. “Then who am I?”
If we were doing this, we were doing it my way, in my territory. With my people. “Just a nightmare.”
The scene shifted from desert to snowy tundra. Next to me, the guys appeared. But their evident relief disappeared when they caught sight of the creature with me.
She wasn’t hiding her appearance now. Like it had with Erdirg, it seemed my understanding had revealed her true nature.
Mara was hideous. Gray skinned and red lipped, she stared at me. Her back was bent, and her limbs withered, but her eyes were bright and angry.
“I see you,” I said, “as you really are. Weak.”
The snow was blue with shadows, but at my words, the clouds seemed to clear from the sky.
“You see me as I really am, not because I am weak, but because I no longer care for appearances,” she replied.
I raised an eyebrow. “You showed me Erdirg. So you must know how I beat him. You wanted to taunt me with my darkness? Perhaps you should be asking yourself if you really wish to push that out of me. He is a creature much older than you, and he sits below the ground, not waking in this lifetime, because of me. Perhaps I should be your nightmare.”
“That so?” Her voice was rough, like she had gravel in her throat. “But I know you, Lacey. I know you so very well.”
Just then, the scene changed. I was alone in the living room in my long-destroyed childhood home, where I’d learned that if there wasn’t much food, I’d probably go hungry, and where a man who claimed to love God had once tried to exorcise me of a demon.
But it wasn’t him who was going to show up. He was nothing. Not compared to the woman who strode out of the bedroom toward me. My gran. She had hated me, and it had nothing to do with Erdirg. Maybe she saw the real me when no one else did. Or maybe she was just a terrible, evil bitch.
It didn’t matter. Goosebumps broke out along my arms.
Gran was worse than any creature or monster I could encounter, because she was a childhood nightmare. The wom
an who raised me, who showed me that the stuff of hell could come in humanity, too.
She raised a switch, and although I was older now, I couldn’t raise my arms. She was going to hit me on the face with that thing, and sad truth was that I knew exactly how much that was going to hurt.
But the hit never came. A hand shot out and caught it. Standing next to me was Aaron. Strong. Tall.
“Not today.” He pulled the switch out of her hand and snapped it in two. “You’re going to have to do better than that. She was alone, but she never will be again. There’s no one who will ever hurt her like you did. You can’t win. You’re nothing. Give up. Fade into nothingness where you belong.”
She narrowed her gaze at him and raised her disgusting claw as though to snap it.
“It’s nothing, Lacey. Whatever she shows you, she’s nothing. You’re not alone.”
I found my voice. “Aaron. You hid under my bed. You didn’t even really know me.”
He stroked the side of my cheek. “I watched you for weeks. You thought I was weird staring at you. I knew it and couldn’t stop. I knew you. For sure, I did. I still know you. Turn on the light. On her. On you.”
The scene shifted. Aaron was gone. Instead, I stood next to the highway, watching a car speed away. Colton and Thorn were in it. I’d never seen it happen in real life, but over the next year, I’d wondered if they’d been laughing. And that was just what they did then before they sped off. Only this time, they squealed to a stop. Colton leaned over the back and stared at me.
“We hated you. Laughed at you. Tortured you. And left.” His eyes were cold, the blue icy.
“But we came back.” Two forms shimmered into existence like a desert mirage. Thorn and Colton stood next to me and wrapped their arms around my waist. “We fought against an evil compulsion to return to you because of how much we love you.”
When Colton finished speaking, Thorn faced me. He gripped my shoulders and leaned toward me, kissing me gently. “See the light inside of you, Lacey. We always did. It’s what drew us to you and made everything better.”
The car with the false Colton and Thorn turned hazy and disappeared.
Voices in the Darkness Page 17