by Shona Husk
They were just friends. Who were spending time together because they had no one else to be with.
Thursday was too close and too far away.
Chapter 10
He had no idea why he’d invited her over. It was his night off. The first night off he’d had in ages and he’d had to get the house cleaned up, shower and put on pants. And a shirt, although it was unbuttoned, and he hadn’t put jocks on. Nothing said night off like free-balling.
He had no idea if he was going to get lucky.
Condoms were in the bedroom just in case.
He was hopeful. Really hopeful. She’d all but invited herself around. Well, not entirely true, but she had opened the door for him to extend the invitation. The oven beeped and he pulled the tray of wedges and chicken nuggets out of the oven. Night off meant junk food.
He tipped the lot into a bowl, then dumped sour cream and sweet chili into another.
Dinner was served. Wedges and chilies were classified as vegetables for tonight.
A car pulled into the driveway. He didn’t even know what she drove. He put the food on the coffee table then went to the front door. He half expected her to be dressed up as though this was a date.
It wasn’t a date.
He’d told himself that plenty of times today. Because it wasn’t. They weren’t dating. They were … he had no idea. Maybe they were and he was too distracted to realise what had happened. It had been so long since he’d been on a proper date, would he recognise one if it slapped him in the face? Probably not.
Ava was wearing a short pair of shorts and a singlet. She held a large packet of lollies in each hand. ‘I wasn’t sure if you preferred chocolates or snakes.’
This was so a date.
The ‘I’ve known you for a while and I’m comfortable around you’ type of date. What the hell had happened to first date and second … and tenth? The rides must have counted. He either worried about it or went with it. The second option was easier.
He smiled and tried not to let his gaze linger on her legs. ‘Snakes … but I’ll eat anything. Come in.’
She slipped past him and he watched her butt as she walked inside.
Ava turned and pointed. ‘This way?’
‘Yeah.’ He closed the flyscreen and locked it but left the door open for the breeze. He wished he’d put jocks on, if only to restrain his dick.
‘Healthy,’ she called.
‘There’s salad stuff in the fridge if you really want it.’ He walked into the lounge room.
‘I was teasing. Potato is a vegetable.’ She sat on the sofa and slid her feet out of her flip-flops.
Exactly what he’d thought—and not what he’d expected from her. ‘Aren’t you meant to be all about fruit and veg?’
‘Chili is a fruit. Trust me. I’m a nurse.’ She placed her hand over her heart, which drew his attention to her breasts and the way the fabric pulled tight. Not big, but they’d be perfect handfuls.
Shit, he was in trouble. He turned to face the TV and his stack of DVDs. ‘What do you want to watch? Horror? Spies? Something about a paranormal cop?’ Held up the DVDs as he spoke, hoping that the partial hard-on would go away so his shorts didn’t look obscene.
‘Not the horror. I can’t watch that show at all.’
Damn. He’d watched the first couple of seasons and quite liked it. The cop show was also quite gruesome and creepy in places. But she agreed to that one. Nothing said Valentine’s Day like blood and guts and hearts ripped out of chests.
He popped the disc for season two in. Then joined her on the sofa. At the moment there was a respectable distance between them.
They ate the chicken and chips, but his gaze was half on her and only half on the TV. Had she really come around just for company and TV? Sometimes, most of the time, he couldn’t work out what was going on or what she wanted. Maybe it didn’t matter—she’d let him know.
He relaxed a little more, determined to enjoy the night off, regardless of what happened.
Sometime during the second episode she put her legs on his lap and his hand found its way to her legs. When he noticed he was tracing shapes on her skin, he paused and glanced at her; she offered him the bag of snakes as though there were nothing to say.
He liked that.
He pulled out a snake and flicked her a smile. If her foot moved about two centimetres it would be brushing his hard-on. With the lights down, hopefully she wouldn’t notice the effect she was having on him. He didn’t want to be making the first move in case he was reading this all wrong, which he might be as he wasn’t sure which way was up these days. Ava didn’t seem like the kind of woman who handed out second chances like snakes.
He crooked his finger and pointed at the bag again.
She held it out, but as he reached for it she drew it closer to her. She didn’t know the fire she was playing with … although, from the glint in her eyes, maybe she did.
***
Mike shifted, following the bag of lollies. Her heart was hammering hard. It had been a long time since she’d played games with a guy. She’d half expected Mike to pounce on her … but he hadn’t. Unlike her previous boyfriend, he seemed content to play wait and see. The reason she’d had to end her previous relationship had been her boyfriend’s constant pressure to do more. At the time she’d pushed the limits of what she’d wanted to do. It hadn’t been enough for him.
They’d split and she’d been single because she didn’t want to find herself in an awkward situation like Mel had. Her boyfriend had pressured for anal, one night when they’d both been pissed he’d taken the chance. They were still together, but at the time Mel had been mortified. Of course, now he’d done it once, Mel found it hard to say no.
Mike was partially lying down now, his face dangerously close to her bust.
This had the potential to go bad … but so far it felt more like he was happy to go along with what she wanted. On one hand that was good, on the other it left her wondering if she was what he really wanted. Then he looked at her and she got even more confused.
In the glow from the TV she knew he was half watching her. His hand was on her leg, thumb brushing her skin. If she moved away she’d end up rolling onto the floor, and if she moved closer she’d end up rolling under him. That seemed like a much better option.
Ava moved a little and angled her body towards him. His hand slid up her thigh, then he pulled her closer so she was lying against him. TV show forgotten, he kissed her. Softly at first, as if he was expecting her to change her mind.
His beard tickled her skin, but she loved the rough feel of it. The softness of his lips and the cold of the metal. She ran her tongue over the ring then gave it a tug with her teeth. He’d liked that last time. He hadn’t admitted or denied having more.
Since his shirt was undone she was pretty sure his nipples weren’t pierced. She’d have noticed that. She smoothed her hand over his chest to double-check, pausing to brush his nipple.
Nothing. Which left lower …
He smiled against her lips as if he knew exactly what she was doing. She let her hand drift down his belly. Her heartbeat quickened. He didn’t stop her when she reached the waistband of his shorts; her fingers accidentally brushed his erection. She almost jerked her hand away. She hadn’t expected him to be hard.
The kisses deepened, stealing her breath and leaving her wanting more. His hand slid over her ribs, the tips of his fingers brushing the underside of her breast.
Yes. She needed to feel his touch.
He moved, nuzzling her neck, his leg partially over hers as his hand slid under her singlet. The hard length of his shaft pressed along her thigh, tempting her to go further. But if she went further, at what point would he expect more and not want to accept no?
She must have flinched or given some clue about her thoughts away because he paused.
‘You still trying to guess?’ His fingertips glided over her skin.
That was a good excuse and she’d go with that for the mome
nt. She really didn’t want to have the ‘I’m a virgin’ conversation. She knew what happened and had been partially naked with a guy. She’d had oral sex, but that had always been her line. She pushed down the memories of her ex not being happy about that.
This was different. Mike was different.
‘Yeah.’ Had he really pierced his penis? If he had, she wanted to see.
‘I’ll let you in on a secret.’ He moved closer, his lips brushing her ear. ‘I don’t have another piercing.’
‘Really?’ So she’d been wondering about it for no reason?
‘I was never going to put an extra hole in my dick, but chicks seem to like the idea.’
She had. And she’d been curious. Most girls probably had their hands in his pants before realising. How many girls? She glanced at him and he took another kiss.
He almost seemed content to lie with her on the sofa.
She wanted to go back to how it had been. Where she was relaxed and happy to feel his hands all over her.
While he didn’t pull away, she felt the distance widen. Should she say something? Ask something?
‘Do a lot of chicks,’ she used his words, ‘like the idea?’
She felt his sigh against her neck and shivered.
‘I fell off the rails last year. It was surprisingly easy to do.’ His hand had stopped moving. ‘I like this.’ He plucked at her singlet. ‘Whatever this is.’
She didn’t know exactly what this was either. She wasn’t ready to put a name on it. He was about to go away and by his own admission he knew how to misbehave.
‘I like it too …’ She should say something, that she didn’t want to rush … anything.
‘Good.’ He kissed her again. ‘You can check about the dick ring if you don’t believe me.’
That was a less than subtle offer. ‘And if I do believe you?’
He shrugged. ‘Another time.’
He’d given her the invitation but wasn’t expecting her to use it. She slid her hand lower, even though she did believe him. ‘And how do you know I don’t have a piercing?’
He lifted her singlet and took a peek. His hands had already been everywhere. He didn’t need look. ‘Nothing in your belly button or nipples—I’d have found them already. I doubt you have your clit pierced.’
‘Do I look too boring?’
‘You aren’t boring. If you were boring you’d be watching TV instead of trying to slide your hand into my pants by stealth.’
Damn it. ‘Too obvious?’
He undid the button and the fly of his shorts for an answer. ‘Better?’
He wasn’t wearing any underwear. The head of his shaft was just visible. Her mouth dried as all moisture was redirected to her knickers. She’d put on nice ones, just in case, and now she was glad she had.
Her fingers grazed the hot smooth head. Touching him made her want more. It was pheromones and lust, chemicals. She knew that, but it didn’t stop her from wanting. While she knew the theory and knew what an orgasm felt like, she wanted to put the two together.
While the desire was there, she couldn’t.
She stroked his length, sure that he was bigger than her ex, not sure if she could untangle herself from this without ruining what was happening between them.
His hand was between her legs, under the cuff of her shorts, brushing the lace of her knickers. She swallowed, wanting him to do more than just tease.
No doubt he felt the same way.
She didn’t want to lead him on. ‘Mike.’
His head snapped up as if she’d pinched him. ‘Yeah?’
Instead of lust there was a wariness in his eyes. In the soft glow they were almost black, not brown.
Now she wished she hadn’t said anything. Too late now. His fingers were dangerously close to breaching her panty defence. She rolled her hips and eased her legs a fraction further apart. He took the offer, his fingertip sliding along the edge, but he was still watching her.
‘I didn’t come here to jump into your bed.’ With her fingers still wrapped around his shaft, that statement didn’t quite ring true.
‘Good thing we aren’t in bed.’ He smiled.
Her lips curved before she could stop them. ‘No, I mean. I don’t want to.’ That wasn’t right either.
He lifted one eyebrow.
‘Do we have to go all the way?’ That was better and she hadn’t admitted to anything. By doing as she was told all the time, she was now in the situation of guys being weird when she didn’t want sex, or did, but didn’t follow through. It really would be easier to just do it and be done with it. No one would ever need to know. And no one really cared—except people like her grandmother and her friends and the guys her grandmother deemed appropriately archaic.
He gave a low laugh. ‘Nah … though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to.’
She gave a sigh of relief. ‘So would I.’
He gave her a curious look before kissing her, his fingers still teasing at the edge of her knickers. ‘So what are the limits?’
‘Limits?’ She hadn’t thought about that.
‘Where do I stop? Here?’ He gave the lace a gentle tug. ‘Although you’ve already crossed that line.’
‘Would you like me to stop?’ But her fingers still danced along his hard length.
‘Do you want to stop?’
He was actually asking. She gave him a slow stroke and swept her thumb over the head. ‘How about hands only.’ That was okay … freedom to roam with no restriction on where. She wanted to be able to touch him and have him touch her without worrying about no go zones. And really, the only areas that should be no go were the ones she wanted him to be touching.
‘But I can do anything with my hands?’ He made it sound dangerous, not lame.
She nodded. ‘And so can I.’
‘Sounds fair.’ He removed his hand from her shorts and undid them, then gave them a tug. She lifted her hips and let him pull them off. ‘Hot pink? I had you pegged as a white lace kind of girl.’
‘Why?’ What did the colour of her lingerie say about her?
He looked at her. ‘You’ve never had sex, have you?’
In that moment she wished she could get lost down the back of the sofa so she never had to face him again.
***
Even in the dim light he could see her blush. It had taken him a while to work it out. He’d known something was up from the first time they’d kissed. The way he couldn’t get a good read on her or what she wanted. Tonight everything had clicked into place.
Or not, because she never had.
His balls were aching. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up but he wanted her bad. And it wasn’t going to happen. He hadn’t thought that she’d be saving herself.
‘That is kind of true.’
‘You’ve kind of had sex?’ How the hell did that work … more importantly, what did that mean? She’d been all up for a little fondling. He was. And she was still touching him, but her hand had stopped moving.
‘I didn’t want this conversation. I just wanted to have some fun. Now it will be weird.’ Ava pulled her hand away.
He was about to lose her, and he’d been enjoying her hand on his dick.
‘It won’t be weird. I just want to know your boundaries. If there are things you can’t or won’t do.’
‘Can’t?’
‘This is a keep yourself for marriage thing, right?’
She closed her eyes and didn’t answer. Her expression was one of pained mortification. Of having to explain what she didn’t even want to talk about. He shouldn’t have said anything about her underwear, but he’d wanted to check that he was still on firm ground before doing anything.
‘I’m still here,’ he whispered in her ear as his fingers walked over her stomach. ‘I like you … in case you couldn’t tell, I would very much like to have some fun.’
‘Yes, but it’s not what you really want.’
‘How do you know? Maybe I’m tired of meaningless sex.
’ He was definitely talking too much and saying all the wrong things. ‘I’d rather have almost sex with someone I like than sex with someone I don’t know.’ Saying it aloud crystallised what he’d been feeling … but it also sounded really bad. ‘Just pass me a shovel so I can dig a deeper hole, okay?’
She opened her eyes and looked at him, her body still tense instead of languid. ‘Since we are already in the hole, we might as well keep going.’
He nodded. At least she wasn’t grabbing her shorts and bolting out the door.
‘You don’t think I’m a freak?’
‘No.’
‘I was raised Catholic, it was drilled into me to wait … I’m tired of waiting. I don’t want to wait and waste my life because someone says I should keep it for my husband. While he’s also supposed to wait, it doesn’t happen. There is no way to prove male virginity so they lie.’ She looked at him as though he was living proof that men did whatever they wanted. ‘How old were you?’
‘Sixteen.’ He’d like to say it had been awesome but it had been weird and fumbly and awkward as neither of them had quite known what to do. But at least they’d got to do it together.
‘And did anyone tell you off for ruining your life?’
‘My mother reminded me to use condoms all the time. She bought them because she didn’t want me getting a girlfriend pregnant and ruining her life and mine. At the time it was embarrassing.’ However he used condoms, always—he was ninety-nine per cent sure. There was just those couple of times he’d been really drunk and wasn’t sure.
‘But you were able to have sex.’
‘Well, yeah.’ There had never been the assumption that he wouldn’t. He’d had girlfriends whose parents had tried to make sure they didn’t—and failed. Wasn’t it better to do what his mother had done and educate and accept?
‘Now imagine all your life you’ve been told not to. So I want to, and I’ve done everything but … yet it’s hard to shake the voice condemning me.’
He couldn’t imagine that. He had a lot of freedom while growing up, but also a lot of responsibility because it was just him and Mum. He pushed away the thought that it would soon be just him. He wasn’t ready to deal with that. ‘Is that why you moved out?’