“I’m not living two lives babe. I’m just keeping you shielded from the dirty parts.” He finally got into bed next to me. “It won’t be like this forever. Just for now.”
“You promise?”
“I swear. As soon as I can, I will tell you what you want to know.”
He was trying. That was clear.
“Babe, remember, for years and years there was no you. I’m aware things have to change. Just for now, Lei, it’s gotta be this way, ’kay?”
I nodded. “Okay.” I could accept that. For now.
Jaxon leaned over and kissed me what was probably supposed to be a good night kiss, but I caught the side of his face just as he began to pull back and I kissed him. Without a word, he slipped his hand under my back and sat me up. Slowly he pulled my shirt over my head, then undid my bra as I whispered, “Make love to me Jaxon.”
For the next hour that is what he did. Slow, deliberate and restrained; then unremitting and reckless. All of our cares and worries fled, as we melted into each other and found our nirvana.
Chapter Thirteen
~Leila~
Today was Valentine’s Day and Jaxon was acting weird. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the day or if he had made any plans. About 4:00 p.m., I grabbed my keys and kissed him goodbye. He didn’t ask where I was going or when I was going to be home, which for him was way weird. He seemed so preoccupied and I couldn’t figure out why.
Driving to the grocery store, I decided to pick up rib eye steaks, baking potatoes, pencil asparagus and fresh lettuce. I had already picked up his present earlier in the week. It wasn’t anything extravagant or expensive. I bought him a thirty-two gig iPod touch and loaded a playlist for tonight. I also got him a Bluetooth headset he could wear on the bike.
When I returned home about forty-five minutes later, there was an unfamiliar woman walking out the front door. She was dressed in jeans and a chartreuse polo. If I had to guess, I would say she was probably in her mid to late thirties. Not drop dead gorgeous, but pretty. Oh, and get this, she waved to me.
I just looked at her out the corner of my eye and kept unloading the groceries from the car. I muttered all the way to the back door, kicked it open and damn near dropped all of the bags I had strategically arranged in my arms. Jax rushed to my side and tried to help, but I was already pissy about some strange woman coming out the front of our house.
“I got it.” He still tried to take the bags. “Jax, I’m fine. I said I have it. Just move so I can put them down.”
He moved out of the way with his palms raised as I neared the center island. “Just tryin’ to help babe.”
“Who was just leavin’?” I tried to play it off as curiosity instead of jealous pregnant woman paranoia.
“Why don’t you set the groceries down and walk into the dining room.” He was suspiciously calm.
I did as he asked, then locked eyes with him, searching for any clue of what I was walking into. I was met with a vacant stare. I kept my gaze on him as I walked through the kitchen.
As I entered the dining room, it felt like someone sucked all of the oxygen out of the atmosphere. Arranged artfully around the room were dozens and dozens of long stem red roses. They all surrounded our dining room table, which was set impeccably, and tall pillar candles were lit everywhere.
“Oh Jaxon, they’re beautiful.” I turned back and I launched myself into his strong arms.
“I love you. Never ever doubt that princess,” he whispered against my lips as they captured his. “There’s more.”
“What did you do? You didn’t have to do all of this,” I said.
“I wanted to surprise you. I had dinner delivered, thought you might like to stay in and have a night alone.” He kissed me softly. “Maybe we can have a naked dinner?” He lifted his eyebrows suggestively.
“Right, naked meal? With me? The whale? Only if you want to lose your appetite.”
He smacked my ass. “Stop babe. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous. I love your body, but you’re right, naked dinner’s probably not a good idea. I don’t think I’d make it through a meal without fuckin’ you on the table.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before I left you were plannin’ something? I wouldn’t have bought stuff for dinner.” I remember all of the groceries on the island. Thankfully Ruger was in the small side yard and not enjoying the steak.
“Well, for one I needed you out of the house. Secondly, I didn’t want to spoil your surprise.”
I looked down and realized I was in a pair of maternity yoga pants and one of Jax’s old USMC sweatshirts. “I’m gonna run up and change clothes.”
“Don’t. I love you just like you are. It doesn’t matter what you wear or don’t wear. You could put on a burlap sack and I’d still want to fuck you on the first available surface.” He spun me around and walked me to the head of the table closest to the kitchen wall and pulled out a chair for me. “Sit.”
“Yes, sir.” I sat as ordered.
“Mmm, I like that.” He lifted off the stainless steel lids and revealed the five-star quality meal. “Beef Wellington, roasted fingerling potatoes and asparagus with Hollandaise sauce.”
“Wow. Honey, this looks amazing.”
He took his seat opposite of me. “Let’s eat. I have other plans for you.”
Eeep!
We finished dinner and I tried to clear the table. He all but snatched the plates from my hand.
“Can you grab Ruger?” he asked. “He’s in the side yard.”
“Sure.” I gave him a chaste kiss and exited the back door.
I rounded the side of the house and saw Ruger lying in the grass next to the patio set and square gas fire table. The fire table emitted a soft glow that danced around the yard. I noticed a small gift bag sitting on the black wicker sectional. There was a note on ivory parchment paper leaning against it that read, “Open Me Lei.” I opened the bag to find another folded piece of parchment that said, “Turn Around.” I pinched my brow together in confusion, cocked my head to the side, then slowly spun around. And almost passed right the fuck out.
There was Jaxon, clothed in his distressed Levi’s, a long sleeve gray Henley and black Doc Martens, bent down on one knee. My hand flew to my mouth as I gasped and tears brimmed in my eyes. He reached under the cushion and pulled out a small blue Tiffany box. He slowly opened the box and rested it on his knee.
“I’ve thought about this moment for months. I never thought I’d find myself wanting to get married, let alone getting down on my knee, but when I walked into that ER a year ago and you flat out rejected me, I knew I had to have you.
“Not only were you the first woman to not be enamored by my charismatic charm, you laughed at me. You’re stubborn, strong-willed, vivacious, beautiful and intelligent. You have captured me, heart and soul. I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you, telling you and making you feel how much I love you.
“Leila Carolyn Matthews, will you marry me?” He lifted the box. Inside was a scintillating one and a half carat princess cut diamond set atop a platinum band laid with brilliant round diamonds.
I, for the first time ever, was absolutely speechless. I just stood there, mouth wide-open, gawking at him.
“Lei, babe?” He looked up at me, his brows drawn together.
“Oh my God Jaxon. Oh my God.” I finally got part of my brain to cooperate. “Are you sure you wanna marry me? I come with so much baggage. The baby. Brody. Are you sure?”
“I love you. Unequivocally and unconditionally. I couldn’t love our daughter more if she was my blood. I want you to be my wife. No doubts, no hesitations and no reservations.”
The tears broke through the dam. “Yes! I’ll marry you Jaxon. Oh baby, I love you so much.” I threw my very pregnant self at him as he stood. He caught me and kissed me senseless. Ruger picked up his head briefly, then went back to ignoring us.
“I love you Lei,” he murmured against my lips as I kissed him fervently.
“Take me inside and make lov
e to me Jaxon.”
“Don’t you wanna put on the ring? Or at least look at it?” he asked.
“Oh, right,” I said with a giggle. “I mean, I looked at it and it’s beyond gorgeous. Of course, I want to wear it. Will you put it on my finger?”
He pulled the ring from the box, held my left hand with his and slid the ring into place. “Do you like it? We can exchange it if you don’t.”
“Jaxon, I love it. It’s perfect.” He scrutinized my face. “Really. If I would have picked one out myself, this is exactly what I would’ve chosen. I love it.” I held my hand out in front of me, then kissed him again. He bent down, hooked his thick arm behind my knees and lifted me to his chest like I weighed nothing.
Wrapping my arms around his neck I whispered in his ear as I lightly traced his lobe with my tongue. “I want to go inside and fuck my fiancé.”
He carried me inside, up the staircase to our bedroom and laid me down in our bed. Our room looked like a church altar with white candles were strewn about.
Jax took his time and worshipped my body. He made love to me for hours. Sweet and slow, fast and hard. I lost count somewhere after orgasm number four or maybe it was five. Around midnight, we finally fell asleep twisted around one another.
Chapter Fourteen
~Leila~
On Sunday we met Barb, Drew, Drake and a few of Jaxon’s brothers from the MC at Toast for brunch. I decided not to say anything until someone noticed the sparkling, brilliant engagement ring on my finger.
We all sat down while Jax made introductions. Viper and Mark already knew Barb, but Dig was new to everyone but me. Viper and Barb were there before anyone else and got a table. They were sitting awfully close and I couldn’t help but notice the little glances or subtle way he brushed the outside of his hand against hers.
Note to self, dig into what’s going on there.
“Holy shit, Lei! What’s on your finger?” Barb snatched my hand from the menu and almost clotheslined Jax in the process.
“Whoa, Barb. Face.” Jax leaned back out of the inspection.
“So that’s kinda why we asked everyone here this morning. Jax asked me to marry him last night, and I said yeah.”
I looked at Drew. “I know it’s early, but I was hoping you’d walk me down the aisle.”
He stood from his chair and came around the table. “I’d love to.” He pulled me up into a warm brotherly hug.
We sat back down, ordered our food and continued to have an uneventful brunch—until Jax was paying the bill.
“Babe.” Jax tilted his head. “What’s up? You look funny?” He leaned in. “You gotta use the bathroom or somethin’? Your face is all scrunched up.”
I placed my hand on my belly as a contraction eased off. “No. I don’t need to ‘use the bathroom.’”
Barb looked at me, and her eyes widened. “No”
I cut my gaze to her and shook my head slightly, as if to say, “shut up.”
“Gentlemen, if you’ll excuse us. We’re gonna run to the little girls’ room real fast.” She jumped up from her chair with Viper giving her a nod. She reached for my hand, trying to look nonchalant and gave the boys a big, fake-ass smile as she dragged me away.
Once we entered the restroom, she halted and spun to face me so quickly I ran smack into her. “How long and how intense?”
“Chill Barb, they’re just Braxton-Hicks. It’s only been a few today. Nothing regular and nothing painful. It was just that the last one was a little uncomfortable. It just caught me off guard, is all.”
“You sure, hussy?” she quizzed.
“Positive slut. We’re good.” I rubbed my belly.
“Fine, but I’m watchin’ the clock bitch.” She scowled as I rolled my eyes at her before we left the bathroom.
“Y’all ready?” Drew lifted his chin at Barb and me.
“I suppose so.” Barb turned to Jax, who was reaching his hand out to me. “Thanks for brunch and congratulations again. Love ya girly.”
Pulling away from Jax momentarily, I gave Barb and Drew a hug goodbye.
“You sure about this sis?” Drew asked. “It’s not like y’all have been together very long. Don’t get me wrong I like Jax, but marriage? That’s a huge step. I just want you to be sure you’re ready.”
“I am Drew. I love him like I never thought possible. And the best part is that we started as friends. Marriages that started as friendships have a good base. Lust and passion can wear out over the years, but friendship like that is timeless.”
“I just want you to be sure. I don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all.”
Again. He wanted to say again.
“I know and I love you for it. I’m good.”
Jax said his goodbyes to Viper, Mark and Dig, which were a grunt and a slap on the back. Cavemen.
As we were walking out to the parking lot, Mark mentioned a run that was to take place in about a week or so. Jax didn’t seem surprised and said he’d be there.
Later that night, I asked what the run was for and was quickly told to not ask questions. I stood in the middle of our newly renovated gourmet kitchen, jaw hanging.
“What?” was the only word I could form in my stupefied mind.
“What, what? You know the deal. I can’t talk about the shit that goes down at the club.” His eyes darkened. There was something about this run that was different. “It’s nothin’ new Leila. We’ve had this talk, nothing has changed.”
“Jesus Jax. I didn’t ask if you’re plannin’ on fuckin’ killin’ someone.”
He was quiet. Too quiet. He turned and walked out of the kitchen. On his way he just muttered, “Leave it be Lei.”
“Where are you goin’? You’re just gonna shut down and walk away when we have a conversation you don’t wanna have? What the fuck is going on? Are you’re doing something illegal.”
No response, but he stopped in his tracks.
“Oh my God, that’s it. Isn’t it? It’s illegal and…” Jax whipped around and was in front of me in one stride.
“I swear to Christ, Leila. Just fuckin’ drop it,” he roared. “I’m not talkin’ about this. Conversation is over.” He grabbed his jacket out of the hall closet before coming back toward me.
“Where are you going?” I stood between him and the back door.
“Out. Don’t wait up, it’ll be late,” he growled as he shouldered past me.
As he slammed the door, I whispered under my breath, “Fuck you Jax. You will not make me cry.” I took a few deep breaths and looked at the clock. It was 6:41 p.m. when I heard him rev the bike and roar out the driveway.
Great. Less than twenty-four hours after we got engaged and we were fighting.
A few hours later I put the iPad down and called Drew, but it went to voicemail, so I hung up and called Barb.
“Hey babe, what’s up?” she said all chipper.
“Jax and I had a fight and he walked out almost four hours ago.”
“Aw, I’m sorry hon. What did y’all fight ’bout?” She listened as I explained the situation.
“It’s not about what he’s gonna do. Okay, maybe it is a little, but more than that it’s the way he fuckin’ talked to me, Barb.” She quietly agreed. “Now he’s probably at the club, drunk off his ass.”
“You wanna go get him? We’ll come pick ya up.”
We?
“Shit Barb, why didn’t you say you were busy? I don’t want to interrupt. Thanks for listenin’ to me rant.”
“Lei, you’re fine. Cole and I’ll come pick ya up. That way he can drive his bike back. Be there in five.” Before I could argue or ask about Viper, she hung up.
I reached down and rubbed my round little belly. “Guess we’re gonna go pick up Daddy, sweet girl.”
I changed into a pair of maternity jeans and a fitted purple sweater and grabbed my phone. True to her word, Barb and Viper were there in just a matter of minutes. We headed out to the club with Viper driving the Jeep. We pulled into the parking lot and go
t out. It was after 11:00 and I was tired.
As I walked up to the club my nerves danced up and down my body. My skin tingled with anxiety and my stomach sank as Viper entered his code into the keypad at the front entrance.
We walked down the hallway with Viper leading the way. It opened to a large room with a long bar and several pool tables and couches. Viper stopped abruptly and turned back to me.
“Why don’t y’all wait out front and I’ll grab him?” I could hear the edginess in his voice as he blocked my view of most of the room. Off to the side, I could see a tall, broad-shouldered guy with a blonde head bobbing up and down on his crotch.
“Oh my God,” I muttered as I looked at Barb. “Viper, get out of my way.” I tried to push past him, but he wrapped his massive hands around the tops of my shoulders, stopping my progress.
“Barb, babe, help me out here.” He looked to her for some assistance. She put her hands up and shook her head.
“Fuck,” he gritted out as I slipped away from his grasp.
Across the room at a table was Jax with Mark and two other guys. In his lap was a topless bleach blonde slut. She was straddling him with her arms around his neck and grinding up and down on him. She grabbed the sides of his face and shoved her tongue down his throat. His fist went to her hair and pulled her head back, which shoved her tits in his face.
I stood there unable to move or speak, watching it all unfold in front of me. The sick, sinking feeling I had in my chest was unbearable. I turned with tears streaming down my face and ran to the front door with Barb hot on my trail.
“Get me outta here Barb. Now.”
We climbed into the Jeep and started to back out as Jaxon came barreling out the front of the club with Viper hot on his heels. I could hear him yelling my name and pleading for Barb to stop.
“Drive Barb, don’t stop. Just go, please.”
“Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” she started.
“No, don’t. I don’t wanna talk about this. Just take me home.” We drove the rest of the way home without speaking. My phone rang once before I turned off the power.
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