“Go. Hurry,” I said.
The healer needed no more encouragement. She ran down the path, looking over her shoulder just once. So much for our midnight meeting. At least, I hoped she wouldn’t try to come back.
After the woman had disappeared, Ashhi stepped to the iron uprights supporting the arch and sank to a seat. Her bent knees made sharp angles in the air before her face. She’d been crying again. I tried to feel sorry for her, but couldn’t quite manage it. The girl was Mieshk’s sister, and quite possibly heir to House Ulstat. Whether she’d chosen the marriage or not, I couldn’t stand the thought of her taking my place with Raav.
I looked past her to the back corner of the grounds. There, blackened trees, burned by some long-ago fire, clawed the air over the stone wall. At some point, an Ulstat had commissioned a life-sized statue there. Over the years, soot had collected in the hollows of its eyes, making the figure look like a crow-pecked corpse.
I cringed before turning my attention to Ashhi.
She didn’t flinch from my glare. “The only entrance to the cellar is through the kitchens,” she said. “There are two guards watching it at all times. You won’t find your family by wandering around back here.”
I stared, stunned. “Why should I believe you’re telling the truth?”
“Good question. Why would you believe me? I’m marrying your lover. It doesn’t matter that I'd do anything to escape the arrangement.”
“Sounds about right.”
I know it’s not easy Lilik, but—
Not a good time, Tyrak.
You might tell me to clap shut, but I won't let you lose this opportunity, he countered. At least give her a chance.
“There’s a line between being determined and being bullheaded,” Ashhi said. “And another between pride and arrogance. You do well to consider where you fall on both counts.”
I stepped forward, the blood hot in my cheeks. Ashhi’s expression remained neutral with a touch of sadness. Somewhere in my heart, I knew she wasn’t the cause of my problems. I knew she was as much a victim as Raav and me. But I was out of control. I raised my hand, ready to slap her across the face.
And remembered my family.
If I hit Ashhi, Jaret might die. I lowered my arm.
Ashhi’s face softened, ever so slightly. “I didn’t have to tell you about the cellar. I could’ve left you out here, circling through our wasteland of a garden, until my father decided you were too curious and took action. And I don’t have to tell you about the location of the passage into the old mine either . . .”
I straightened. “How much did you hear?”
She shrugged. “I have good ears. When you grow up in House Ulstat, you need to be alert for harm.”
“But you didn’t come out here out of pure kindness. So what do you want?”
“For starters, I don’t want to marry a stranger.”
“Then refuse.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. Not yet. I know my sister too well. She has more capacity for evil than most could imagine. So if I have to marry Raav to convince my father to fight her, I will.”
“But?”
Ashhi’s gaze shot over my shoulder, her eyes widening as someone approached. She jumped to her feet.
“My father’s coming. I’ll visit your room later—when it’s safe. You know that there’s no privacy in my father’s house, right? Not unless you understand the movement of his spies, at least.”
“So I’ve been told,” I said.
She glanced once again at the path behind me. “We can work together. But first, you’ll have to decide to trust me.”
With that, she stepped around me and started for the house, but not fast enough. Her father’s long strides brought him close enough to speak with us both.
“You two talking about anything interesting?” Trader Ulstat asked.
“Lilik was curious about our illustrious history,” she said, gesturing at the patch of headstones. “I was explaining which ancestors I hoped Raav’s children would take after.”
Her father made a low noise in his throat. Maybe she’d gone too far. Or maybe this whole thing had been planned. I shouldn’t trust an Ulstat. If the events on Ioene hadn’t taught me that, the attack on Istanik had. But why go to all the trouble? Were they testing me? To what purpose? They already knew what I thought of them.
Yet the alternative—that Ashhi Ulstat would betray her family—seemed almost as unlikely.
“An . . . interesting lineage you have,” I said, sneering. Without waiting for his reaction, I stalked away, headed for the doors.
Ashhi entered my room before dinner, slipping through the door without warning. I’d been lying on my side, my hand beneath the pillow cradling Tyrak’s hilt. I jerked upright and yanked the covers over the pillow.
“My father expects me in his study for a discussion of strategy, so I’ll make this quick,” she said, advancing. “He instructed me to remind you of your morning summons for questioning. I’m sure you won’t want to endanger your companions by being tardy again.”
I closed my eyes to push away my irritation. When I opened them, Ashhi was standing close. Very close. I flinched back, only to notice her right hand fluttering to catch my attention. Pinned between her thumb and her palm was a note. Leaning forward to plant her hands on either side of me, she spoke into my face.
“I don’t know what you think you gain with your insolence—but your family loses every time you defy my House.” With that, she stood and left the room.
After a moment of stunned silence, I glanced down beside my leg and noticed that she’d pulled a fold of covers closer to my body. Sneaking my hand beneath, I felt the telltale crinkle of paper. The whole thing had been an act to pass me the note, which could only mean one of her father’s spies was watching. Swallowing, I palmed the note and tucked it into my waistband. I fought the impulse to scan the walls in search of eyes glinting through peepholes. Instead, I yawned and lay back down, pretending boredom.
Some time later, a servant shouldered into the room and deposited a plate beside my bed. A piece of cold sausage sat in congealed fat beside a ragged heel of bread. My stomach rebelled at the thought, and I lifted the plate from the floor, walked to the door, and set it back out in the hallway.
While passing back into my room, I left the door open against the wall, faced it, and shielded my belly area with my body. Pulling out the note, I unfolded it and read quickly.
The watchers break for dinner two hours after dark. The meal lasts an hour. No one will know your movements if you choose them with caution. Don’t leave this wing, but otherwise, move as your heart directs. Consider this a gift. I hope it will convince you to trust me.
I stuffed the note back into my pants, missing the waistband and leaving the paper crinkling along my thigh as I walked awkwardly back to my bed. As I crawled onto the mattress, I considered what she’d said. For an hour this evening, no one would be watching. But Ashhi could only guarantee my privacy if I remained close. Raav’s room was nearby. She was giving us a chance to be together.
But could I trust her? I didn’t see a motive for her to lie. If she wanted to turn me into her father, she’d had plenty of opportunities already. And I shouldn’t miss the chance to update Raav on what I’d learned. No doubt he was brooding over a possible future with Ashhi Ulstat. But maybe, with her help, it didn’t have to be that way.
My excitement growing, I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers. The note was poking me in the hip. As soon as I got the scratchy wool blanket pulled over me, I yanked it free and shoved it into the pocket where I kept Tyrak.
The sun had been down an hour. I rolled onto my side and watched out the window as the city’s torches lit the veil of smog a deep, blood-red. No matter the risk, I would see Raav tonight. My heart thundered in my chest.
Chapter Eleven
MY PALMS DAMP, I slipped through Raav’s door and shut it behind me with a quiet click. He was asleep. Lit from the side by a
single flame, the peaceful lines of his face made my chest ache. Like me, he didn’t seem comfortable putting out all the lanterns. Darkness inside House Ulstat felt more malevolent than in other places.
I swallowed—hard—and padded to his bedside. When I gently climbed atop the mattress, trying not to jiggle him, he jerked awake. Eyes wide, he brought a fist up before recognizing me.
“Lilik?” He hissed. “What are you thinking? Your family . . .”
“Shh. It’s okay.”
“What do you mean, okay? You heard what the trader said.”
“There’s no one watching. Ashhi told me.”
He scooted back, sitting with his bare torso propped against the wall. I swallowed at the sight of his muscular build. Noticing my gaze, he blushed and ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t understand, Lilik. Why would you trust Ashhi Ulstat?”
I chewed my lip. “I guess you could say she earned it.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It must be a really good reason to convince you to risk the lives of your father and brother.”
I steeled myself for a snide comment from Tyrak before I remembered that I’d left him behind. He’d be hurt by the abandonment, but it was easier than bringing him. I needed to clear up this mess between me, Raav, and Tyrak, but not now.
Raav had a good point, though. Was this visit any less stupid than attempt to assassinate the trader? I’d justified tonight’s plan by telling myself I needed to update Raav on everything I’d learned, but that wasn’t really the truth. If we didn’t solve this, I was going to lose Raav forever. I didn’t want to forfeit my chance to say goodbye.
“There’s a secret exit from the grounds,” I said, pitching my voice low just in case Ashhi had lied about the spies.
He took a deep breath and wiped his hand down his face. “And you know this why?”
“Raav, I . . .”
As he turned his dark eyes to mine, I couldn’t hold back any longer. I pinned his shoulders against the wall and pressed my lips to his. He tried to object, for a heartbeat that is, before wrapping me tight. His kiss lit a fire in my belly.
A tear spilled from my eye, tracking down my cheek to fall on his bare chest. Pulling back, he cupped my face in his hand and searched my eyes.
“I can’t lose you,” he said. “What are we going to do?” His voice broke as his own tears threatened.
“If it’s the only way to save our friends and our homeland, we have to say goodbye,” I said.
He kissed me again, his lips hungry as he ran his hands up my back and into my hair.
“Lilik . . .” he whispered as he placed kisses along the line of my jaw, ending at my earlobe. My heart threatened to pound free of my chest.
Lifting me under the butt and with an arm encircling my back, Raav swung his legs off the bed and set me on the floor. Standing, he reached his hands behind his head and paced a tight circle. The long muscles along his spine were painted by the glow of the candle, with the swell of his buttocks just hints above his waistband.
“I can’t marry her,” he said. “You’re the one I want. The only one ever.”
“Kiss me again,” I said, sitting back on the bed.
He came at me tenderly, placing kisses all over my face, my eyelids, my lips. “This won’t be goodbye,” he said. “Even if they force this arrangement—” His face twisted. “—on me. I won’t honor it. I’ll leave her as soon as we retake Ioene.”
“Will the other traders really take your assets?”
“I don’t know. Before the Ulstat siege and your gutterborn uprising, yes they would have. Contracts are inviolate. Now, who knows? But even if I’m forced into exile, I don’t care.”
“It won’t come to that. I’ll get word to Istanik. Or I’ll find a way to free my family. I won’t give up.”
His fingers dug into my back, desperate for my embrace. I pulled him down on top of me, felt nothing but his weight on mine and his lips on my skin.
“We have to stop, Lilik,” he said. “I want to be with you in the right way, in front of everyone. Not sneaking around with the chance we might be killing your family in our selfishness.” His expression was so pained that I could scarcely stand to meet his gaze. Raav was right. I needed to go. My time was almost up anyway.
Straightening my hair, I sat up and took a few shaky breaths. Raav’s fingers entwined with mine, and he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb.
“Whatever happens, know that you’re the one I want,” he said.
I stood and turned to face him. “I believe it with all my heart. And this isn’t goodbye.”
The floor was cold on my feet as I left him behind.
Chapter Twelve
I COULDN’T SLEEP, so I walked. As I paced through the halls, a few new guards watched me from their posts. Many glared, but none moved for their weapons.
Late-night sounds entered the hall from the kitchen. Ashhi had said the rear cellar opened from a pantry inside the room. I imagined my family beneath the kitchen floor, hungry yet surrounded by casks of flour, butter, and wheels of cheese. Sidling into the short entrance hallway, I peered inside. A pair of cooks labored over a large pot, dumping in vegetables and bones for tomorrow’s soup. And behind, two guards stood rigidly before a storage room door. My eyes widened. It seemed Ashhi had been telling the truth. At this point, my best bet was to start trusting her.
Unlikely allies. But I would take what I could get. I shuffled to my room.
After slipping through the door, I doused all the lights but two. Dimness shrouding me like a protective cloak, I paced back and forth. Every few minutes, I peered out the window. A crescent moon hung low in the sky, casting little illumination over the blocky city below. Torches lit the streets, setting the haze aglow so that it looked as if Ilaraok burned.
As the moon climbed the sky, my feet began to cramp from crossing the room back and forth, back and forth. I finally crawled into bed.
When the door slid open on well-oiled hinges, I almost cried out in surprise. Slipping into my room on soles of soft leather, Ashhi narrowed her eyes at the wall opposite the bed. At least I knew which set of crevices I needed to worry about. I didn’t speak, unsure whether we were being watched, but rather let her take the lead.
“The sentries assigned to watch your rooms drank too much wine at dinner,” she said. “Or perhaps it was something in the wine that made them so terribly sleepy. But we don’t have long. I’ve done all I can to reassure you, but now you have to choose: are you going to accept my help, or are we stuck with my father’s plan?”
I sat up, rubbing the fatigue from my eyes. Curling my toes, I forced the words off my tongue. “If I agree to trust you, would you take a message into the city for me? I just need someone to summon help from Istanik. Or enough commoners to overcome the House guards.”
Ashhi smiled, a wan expression full of relief. Not triumph. That alone told me I’d made the right decision. But her shoulders soon slumped. “A daughter of House Ulstat or not, I’m as much a prisoner here as you are. The guards have strict instructions forbidding me to leave the grounds. But I haven’t always obeyed. There’s a reason I know the location of the passage into the mine.”
“Then you’ll take me there?”
“I will.”
“When?”
“It has to be tonight. I can’t risk drugging the spies again.”
I blinked. Some warning would have been good. But I had little to prepare. I fetched Tyrak from beneath the pillow and shoved him into my sheath. Out of habit, I scanned the room for useful items. But aside from Tyrak and my clothing, everything I owned was back in Istanik. Returning my attention to her, I nodded.
“The guards?” I asked. “I noticed more sentries in the hall.”
“Taken care of. The shift captain is loyal to me. He’s relocated them to the outer wall.” Ashhi snuffed the lanterns then shuffled for the door. “Mess up the covers so it looks like you’re sleeping. The spy may wake before dawn.”
Nodding, I piled the woolen blanket in a heap beneath the thin bedspread. “I want to bring Nyralit with me,” I said as I tiptoed toward her.
Ashhi paused just inside the door. “We can bring her if you think it’s best. But with both of you missing, it's more likely your absence will be noticed.”
She had a point, but I wanted Nyralit’s knowledge. It was still worth the risk.
“She should come,” I said.
As she stepped into the hallway, Ashhi nodded. “I trust your judgment.”
When Nyralit answered her door, her brows drew together while she glared at the Ulstat girl in the doorway. I stepped from behind Ashhi and laid a hand on Nyralit’s forearm. “It’s okay. She wants to help us.”
Nyralit’s lips thinned, but she stepped aside, inviting us in.
“How fast can you be ready to leave the grounds?” Ashhi asked.
“As soon as I put on shoes. What’s this about?”
“Your legend about the Silent Queen’s mine was true,” I said. “Ashhi will take us to the entrance.”
Ashhi swung the door closed but didn’t latch it. “We don’t have much time. Make it look like you’re asleep.”
While Nyralit tugged on her silk-embroidered slippers, I hurried around the room, dousing the lanterns. Before joining us at the doorway, Nyralit shoved a pillow under the covers, forming a convincing lump. She nodded and followed us into the hall, but not without casting me a skeptical glance. I understood; no matter what Ashhi had done to prove herself, anxiousness hummed through my nerves.
Keeping to the edges of the hallway, we followed Ashhi to the rear doors of House Ulstat. The air outside was heavy with smoke, and low clouds now veiled the moon and the stars. A few, high trees were silhouetted by the fire-reddened haze. Bare limbs arched overhead, a tangle of black.
“All right,” Ashhi said once we’d traveled a couple hundred paces from the house. “We won’t be overheard here.”
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