by M. R. Joseph
Daniel and I stand here, he fiddles with his car keys, and I do the same. We are just standing here like two teenage idiots waiting to see who makes the first move. I need this to end.
"Thank you so much for asking me for ice cream and for the beers, and I’m glad you got to see a little of downtown Princeton."
"It was lovely. Thank you for being a wonderful and beautiful tour guide." He finally looks up and his hypnotic eyes grace me with their presence. They automatically bring a smile to my face. I break my stare and turn and unlock my car door. He opens the back door and gracefully takes my crutch from me and places it in the back seat.
"Harlow, may I ask you a question?"
"Sure, shoot." My voice sounds a little down but I still manage to give him a smile.
"If you would, or if you want...er, I mean.... I um, I'd really love to take you out on a real date, like with dinner, or a film, or sitting at a pub talking about scars."
I laugh at how charming he is, even if he's stumbling over every other word. He looks nervous, biting the inside of his lip, his eyes waiting for my answer.
Take a deep breath and find your inner balls, Harlow. Just say yes.
And that's exactly what my head tells me to do.
"I'd love that, Daniel. I really would."
A look of relief comes on his face and he steps toward me and gives me the softest, most lingering kiss on the cheek I have ever received. At least I think I have ever received.
I feel my cheeks heat up and he smiles at me, damn well knowing I’m blushing. I get in my car and roll my window down.
"Have a great rest of the weekend and I'll see you on Monday at school." I pull away slowly and watch out of my rearview mirror the handsome man with the full lips, the shaggy hair, and the delectable ass, wave farewell to me. At this moment I wish to God the night didn't have to end but he's a father, a devoted father, and brother and that's so admirable. So sweet, so damn sexy. I immediately go to my phone and turn it back on, wondering how many messages from Willow are on here.
Twenty.
Dear Lord, the woman is nuts.
I go to dial, but she's already ringing my phone.
"Hi, Wills. What's up?"
I here her laugh in a condescending way. "I swear on the grave of my dead Aunt Lucy you better have had your phone off because Mr. Tea and Strumpets, or whatever they call them, had you bent over your car, giving it to you good in some back alley, and you had multiple orgasms in the process."
"No, sorry, hon. Just a kiss on the cheek. But..."
"I don't wanna hear it, Har. Unless the 'but' has to do with him squeezing your ass."
I laugh, knowing that this girl wants me to get laid in the worst way.
"He asked me out on a date. A real one."
"And…?"
"And I said yes."
"Good girl. Baby steps, Har, even though I wish you had juicy details about how his lips felt on you, or how his fingers felt on you, or how big his—"
Oh, shit! I see a cop behind me, flashing his lights and him turning on his siren, so now I have to pull over.
"Wills, I have to go. I’m being pulled over. I'll call you tomorrow." I press end and throw my phone on the front seat. Damn it! What did I do? I stopped at the traffic light. I stopped at the stop sign, or didn’t I?
I pull over to the side of the road on the boarder of North Ridge and Princeton because there's a detour I had to take so I couldn't go straight through Princeton to home. I sit and wait for the cop to get out and come to my car. I look straight ahead, and then I hear a tap on my window. I press the button to bring the window of my car down and I hear the cop say, “License and registration.”
Déjà vu? Never had before, but I do right now when I hear the officer’s voice. I look up at him.
"Cruz?"
What the what?
"Good evening, Miss Hannum. Nice to see you."
CHAPTER 8
Call Me Muhammad Ali Cause I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee
Cruz~
As soon as she rolled down that window, she hit me with those eyes, and it is like a ton of bricks is falling on my head. I broke my promise to Craw. I did. I know. Bad. Second night on the job and here I am Raphael Cruz: Stalker.
The look on her face is priceless and the line I gave her? All part of my plan to spark something in that poor broken brain of hers. That precious, sweet brain.
She's stunned beyond belief. Maybe it's wrong; my plan, but I’m a fighter and I have to fight for what I want, what is mine, what my destiny is and it's her and only her.
"Cruz? What the hell? Why are you dressed in a North Ridge Police uniform, and why are you driving a North Ridge patrol car? And why are you pulling me over?"
I make a tsk, tsk noise with my mouth. "So many questions, Miss Hannum. First and foremost, license and registration, please. I have to look good. It's only my second day on the job." I wink at her. Her expression is less than impressed.
Harlow's face is blank turning toward me, then back to the street again, trying to process what the hell is going on here. I lean into her car window a bit, "Close your mouth, Turnip. You'll catch flies if you don't."
I stand back up and wait for her move. If she has one at all.
"I’m just so confused, Cruz? Can you explain?"
Those eyes of hers look to me with confusion and fuck me if I don't want to pull her put of that car, throw her over my shoulder cave-man style, and kiss the ever-loving shit out of her. I try my best to control my thoughts but my Turnip is only inches away. I mean motherfucking inches away from me, and oh God, how I’ve missed her.
"Well, I’m pretty sure you blew that stop sign back there, Turnip. That's cause for an officer to pull you over."
She looks frustrated and pissed as hell.
"Argh, Cruz. You know that's not what I mean. I mean what the hell are you doing here?"
I give my best 'I’m so hurt face' hoping to gain a small amount of sympathy from her.
Not really working.
Against all the rules, she swings open the door and attempts to get out of the car. Now she knows better. She asked me about rules and regulations of the police force all the time when we were together and...never mind. She doesn't remember.
"Harlow, you can't get out of the car. Please sit back inside."
Her eyes bore into me, with fire and brimstone, and she's pissed...and oh so beautiful when she is. She slams the door and loses her balance in the process.
Where the hell are her crutches?
I grab her before she falls to the ground. My big hands circles her small and fragile upper arm and I lose my balance, stumbling us both back against her car. My large frame has her pinned beneath me and I’m in a position I never want to come out of. I have her so close to me I can feel her panting breath on my face. Her eyes are wide and I could just kiss her, take her lips and claim them but I know I can't. The plan doesn't call for me to kiss the wind from her. It sucks, but I have to be patient. That's a difficult feat for me but I have to have self-control. The thing is, having the woman you love this close to you, the woman you would give your life for, this fucking close, and you can't do a damn thing about it? It’s devastating.
All I hear her say and not in a stern tone but not in a happy one either, "Cruz."
And I do the right thing. I back away. I straighten up off her body but extend my hand outward to hers to try and help her up. When I do, she straightens out her dress.
Wow! Now that's a dress.
She looks fantastic. Different, but my same Turnip.
"Thank you," she says.
We stand there just looking at each other and I wait for the interrogation to begin.
"So are you going to tell me what the hell you are doing here?"
Here we go.
I take off my hat and scratch at my head. Do I tell her everything or do I wait for her to rip into Craw. This was all my idea. I can't let Craw take the fall for it. Maybe, just maybe she'll unde
rstand and not really care, or maybe she will.
"Well, I got the position at North Ridge, the one I applied for and got in the spring."
She looks at me confused.
Of course she's confused.
"Let me back up because this is all new to you I’m assuming." She crosses her arms in front of herself, looking uncomfortable and that in itself breaks my heart. She looks uncomfortable around me and I’m beginning to regret pulling her over.
"Last year when we were...you know. Well we wanted to be closer to one another so I agreed to apply to some districts around here. I got into North Ridge. A full-time job, but I turned it down."
She looks surprised and I can tell she's trying to process what I just told her. Obviously she doesn't know the story. I’m not quite sure who told her what, but from the look on her face, I know this is one thing she isn't aware of.
"I got the job in North Ridge and I didn't tell you because your grandmother already had her claws into me and I knew it wouldn't work out, so I didn't wind up taking it. Good thing I didn't."
She bit the side of her lip and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her tiny ear.
"I...um, I’m really not sure what to say to that, Cruz. I’m so sorry that happened and you know what's up with my grandmother. I know Craw filled you in." She looks shy, not meeting my eyes. She looks embarrassed, but she did nothing wrong. It was fucking Granny.
"Yes, he did, but I needed a change, so I called them and asked if the position was still available. The full-time wasn't of course, but a part-time was. So I took it."
She looks so confused.
"But what about your job in Sandy Cove and what you've established there? Why here of all places?"
She is trying to balance herself and now I’m the one who's uncomfortable. I look in the car to see her crutch in the back seat. I don't even hesitate to open the back door and pull it out for her. She jumps not really aware at the time why I’m doing what I’m doing.
I hand it to her. "Use this, please. You're making me nervous, Turnip."
She takes it and sticks it under her arm, frustrated, but she does.
"Why do you still call me that?"
The words? Yeah, they sting. She has no idea why I call her that, and it's like another stab to the heart. Again, not her fault, but nonetheless.
"I’m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll stop."
She shakes her head and gives me a small smile.
"No, no. It's not that. I just...never mind. I want to know more about this job. Why would you leave a full-time job for a part-time one?"
I have missed her voice. She could ask me a million questions or sing the alphabet for all I care. I'd never get tired of hearing that sweet voice, ever.
"I enrolled in a college here to finish up my bachelors degree. My online stuff transferred. I'll work in Sandy Cove once the semester is over, rent-a-cop position of course, and work my hours in North Ridge."
"That sounds like an awful lot of traveling. Where are you taking your courses at?"
"Ryland," I state simply.
"Ryland? That's um...a great school. I’m surprised you got in."
I raise a brow to her and her mouth snaps shut. She looks remorseful for that last remark.
"Cruz, I didn't mean it like that. I just...I didn't realize you were academically capable of getting into a college like Ryland."
And my brow still stands at attention. She shakes her head and covers her eyes.
So fucking adorable.
"I’m, oh God, Cruz. I’m so sorry. I’m sure you are more than capable."
I stop her before she let's her mouth say what her brain can't control. I know she only knows me up until a certain time frame, I wish she remembered more.
"Har, I know what you meant. No harm, no foul. I have been taking some online classes for a while and they just so happen to transfer to Ryland. I kind of got lucky. Plus the job at North Ridge is a great opportunity. I won't mind commuting for a while."
She smiles up at me after her hands leave her face. I so badly wanted to remove them for her, just so I could touch her.
Limits, Cruz. Boundaries. Distance.
I hate my conscience.
"Again, I apologize. I think it's great. I really do. I’m happy to see you. You look well."
She's being polite because she’s not really sure what to say. God, if I could go back a year and just have a regular conversation with her like we used to. This is torture. I’m trying not to let it affect me on the outside. Can't she see it in my eyes? The love I have for her?
"Thanks. You look...well you always look beautiful. Tonight, you look...you're glowing."
She touches her cheek as I see them turn a shade of pink.
I made her blush. I made her glow. See that. Already the plan is taking shape.
"I mean this dress, and you in it is.... I’m sorry were you out tonight?”
Wow, what a dress. She could put on a paper sack and look great in even that.
"Oh, thanks. It's warm tonight, isn't it?"
She wipes at her brow and touches her neck.
I made her sweat. Would you look at that.
"Oh, yes. We have a new teacher at school that's new to the area so I was playing tour guide."
That's my Turnip. Always thinking of others.
The wind picks up a bit and it looks like a storm is going to roll in. Her beautiful hair swims around her head, pieces of it cascade over the front of her face and I still my hand as I’m about to swipe the stray strands away. Shit. I can't, even though it's a natural reaction for me. She does it herself and my stomach drops.
I should be doing that for her.
We stand in silence and I need to leave. Be true to the plan.
"You better get going. Looks like a storm is coming."
"Oh, um, yes. Well, are you going to give me a ticket?" I laugh.
"No, I think I can let this one slide. Just be a little more aware."
I open her door for her, reaching for the crutch and she allows me to take it. I open the back door and put it in as she climbs into the front seat. I watch her struggle to get seated and another piece of my heart crumbles.
I close her door for her.
Again with the uncomfortable silence. This I need to break before more of my heart does.
"You take care, Harlow. I’m sure I'll be seeing you around." She nods and looks at the street in front of her, then back to me.
"Yes. It was good to see you. Hopefully we can all get together soon and have drinks. Like the old days."
I smile at her. It is painful, but I do.
"Yeah, like the old days. Be careful driving, Harlow."
She waves to me and then her car drives off. All I see are her tail lights now, and I’m still standing here like an idiot. I didn't want her to go. The way she looked, smelled. The way she blushed. All of it drove me out of my fucking mind. My fingers tingle because I’m like a junkie. I needed to have my fix, and I didn't get it. There wasn't a hug hello. There wasn't a “hey, what time do you get off? Want to go get some coffee?” There was nothing. A friendly exchange of words, a bit of awkwardness, but she didn't feel what I felt. The spark I feel every time I see her, or hear her voice. It wasn't there for her. That hurts but it doesn't sway me to not continue to fight. When you love someone, you don't just give up. That's just not me.
***
My first week of classes went well. I have some catching up to do. Most of the classes I take are already three weeks in, but I’ve dealt with worse. I’m a fast learner. I'll do fine. Craw's place is nice. A two-bedroom, two-bath apartment really close to the college, close to work, and close to my girl. Craw's spare room was his office space.
Was. Now I’ve over taken it. He didn't have a bed in there so I purchased a nice, lumpy air mattress. I could care less. A sore back and a not-so-restful night’s sleep is worth it. I’m so close to her. Just a few miles. Lucky Craw gets to see her every day starting this week at the school she te
aches at. He landed a student teaching job there. Maybe she'll ask me back to career day. I can hope and wish and dream, can't I?
So my challenge is working homework around my work schedule. I have to make twenty-four hours a week plus room for overtime, which is what I need to help Craw out with the bills. The Marine's have taken care of my education, which I’m thankful for. Being a young kid when I enlisted, I didn't think about what it had to offer once I did get out. I just wanted to get the fuck away from my town, and away from my mother.
Every day, Harlow calls him or he calls her. This is a fact. Sometimes I’m around, other times I’m not. He still hasn't told her I’m living here. He's had every opportunity to since he student teaches at her school. I wish he'd just let me do it. I think he's being a pussy. I’ve only seen her one other time since I’ve been living here. I saw her in North Ridge where she goes to physical therapy. God, she took my breath away. Even from my patrol car parked down the street. I wasn't stalking her. I was writing a ticket and I just so happened to see her. So sue me. I wound up writing her name on the ticket and when I handed it back to the guy he had a what the fuck? look on his face.
My Presenting Complex Information class is a bitch, interesting, but a bitch. This one is going to take lots of concentration. Craw just pulled up. A few minutes have passed by and he's still not in yet. I look out the window. He's pacing back and forth, smoking like a chimney, and talking to someone on the phone. I peer out of the blinds but I try not to let him see me. Every once in a while he looks up at the window and I can tell something is wrong. It's has to be Harlow.
Shit.
I run out and Craw says to whomever he's speaking with that he has to go, and ends the call. He looks up at me and brushes his demeanor off.
"Oh, hey, Cruz. How was your day?" He scurries into the house, throwing his keys onto the table and goes to the fridge for a beer. He gulps it down in two seconds flat.