by Lee Matthews
There is one guy. Christopher. But he’s mad at me.
Wait. You already met a guy who is already mad at you? That’s fast.
I laughed sadly.
He’s pissed because I left him alone all day to go skiing. I think.
I didn’t want to be the one to tell him about the lawsuit if he didn’t already know. That would just set him off and he’d call Loretta and then she’d get mad at me. Unless she had already told him. And if she had, then I didn’t want to get in the middle of it. But I doubted it. Loretta seemed to keep the business of Evergreen Lodge far out of my father’s orbit, for some reason. I never fully understood why. My dad texted back.
Why didn’t he go with you?
He has a broken leg.
Oh. Bummer. Did you go with Lauren?
Yes and some other people. Two other guys and Carina from the pics.
Cute guys???
DAD!
Well I’m just saying maybe he’s jealous.
My skin burned. It definitely seemed like Christopher might be jealous of Damon, but somehow my dad saying it made it seem even more absurd than it already did. Back home, no boys liked me. Well, except that blip with Frankie. Not counting that, I had to go all the way back to eighth grade when Ryan Della Torre had kissed me backstage at the fall musical and told me he liked my hair. It just wasn’t possible that, after being here for three days, I had two boys crushing on me.
I don’t know. I guess they’re cute.
That’s it then. This Christopher guy likes you back, Tater. Just deal with it.
I snorted a laugh. Sometimes talking to my dad was more like talking to a girlfriend. But I really had to get him to stop calling me Tater. That had been my nickname ever since I was three and I’d apparently spent six months refusing to eat anything other than tater tots.
Okay, maybe. But then what do I do?
There was a long pause, and for a second I thought I might have lost my dad’s attention, but then the three scrolling dots appeared.
Text him. See if he wants to hang out. It will make him feel better if he gets to spend some time with you.
It was a simple answer. Because my dad didn’t know about the added layer of the lawsuit. I tried to see it from my father’s point of view—to set aside the fact that Christopher’s parents were attacking my grandmother. The last thing Christopher had said to me was that he didn’t want anything from me. And now I was supposed to text him and invite him…to do what, exactly? Go to the staff party with me? The one Damon had invited me to? I didn’t think that would go over well.
OK. I’ll try.
I texted this mostly to make my dad think he’d given me good advice. Really, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do.
OK good luck! And tell your sister to text me. Or call me. Either one.
I will.
I put the phone down and stared at the ceiling. All the anger had seeped out of me, leaving me feeling tired and lonely. The water finally turned off inside the bathroom, and I glanced at the time. Wow. Lauren had been serious when she’d said she was going to take a long shower. Suddenly, I could feel the dried sweat sticking my hair to the back of my neck, and I shivered. Hopefully she didn’t use all the hot water.
A couple minutes later, my sister came out of the bathroom all bundled up in an Evergreen Lodge robe and a towel around her head, releasing a cloud of steam.
“Hey,” she said. “How’s it going?”
I had so much to tell her. So much had happened between when she’d left me in the lobby and now. But I didn’t have the energy for it at the moment. All I could think about was getting in the shower and cleaning the last thirty minutes off of me.
“Fine.” I shoved myself up. “Dad wants you to call him. I’m going to take a shower.”
I heard her grumbling as I closed the door behind me. Standing in the center of her residual steam, I quickly texted Christopher, before I could double-think it.
That conversation did not go well. Truce?
I stared at my phone, holding my breath. Ten seconds. Twenty. Nothing. Maybe he wasn’t looking at his phone. I tried another tactic.
Sorry I yelled. I was just shocked.
Still nothing. I added:
Can we talk? Are you still in the lobby?
This time I waited a full two minutes, just willing the scrolling dots to appear. But there was still no response. I slapped the phone down on the counter, stripped out of my clothes, and got in the shower. Maybe by the time I was all cleaned up and warm, he would have texted back. But when I emerged from the shower a few minutes later and grabbed my phone, my heart all but died.
Not a single message in reply.
I bit my bottom lip. Should I try another text? What would I even say? No. I couldn’t do it. If he wanted to reply to me, he would. I mean, he was the one whose family was trying to take down my family. Shouldn’t he be the one apologizing? Shouldn’t he have reached out first? Suddenly, I felt angry all over again and turned off my phone completely. Maybe we both needed the night to cool off.
Tomorrow was a totally new day.
• • •
DECEMBER 30
I woke up so early the next morning, the light coming through the crack between the curtains was still pinkish gray. Lauren had come back so late, I’d barely registered it. That staff party must have been one for the ages. I wondered if Damon had been disappointed when I didn’t show up. If Lauren and Carina had bonded and were now BFFs. Probably. Lauren had a way of becoming BFFs with everyone she met. But at the moment, I didn’t really care. I needed to find Christopher. I needed to make everything that had gone wrong between us, right. I just really hoped he felt the same way.
I took a quick shower, pulled my hair up in a wet bun, and dressed in my favorite buffalo plaid shirt, cozy white sweater, and comfy gray leggings. It was not only a cute outfit, but functional if I was going to spend the morning cozied up by the fire, figuring out the next move on my list with Christopher, like I hoped. Maybe, if we made up, I could even talk to his parents. Get them to see that there were real people behind this company they were suing. The very idea terrified me, but I’d do it if I could. Evergreen Lodge meant a lot to my family. It meant a lot to me.
I grabbed my backpack with the list inside and slipped out, noticing that Lauren hadn’t even changed out of her clothes before passing out on top of her comforter. I rolled my eyes and closed the door quietly behind me.
Downstairs, the lodge had that just-waking-up feeling. The really dedicated ski bums sipped coffee in the lounge, surrounded by their gear, ready to hit the slopes before anyone else could even contemplate breakfast. People spoke in hushed tones, respectful of the early hour, and the Christmas music could be easily heard over the quiet conversations. As I crossed the lobby, a man belly-laughed, and the sound was so startling that everyone in sight looked up. I smiled and headed for the fireplace. But Christopher wasn’t there.
Not shocking, I supposed, since it was so early, but I still felt a sinking disappointment in my gut. I decided to hang out on his couch and wait, figuring he’d be along soon. He’d mentioned that he was more of a morning person than a night person, and breakfast was his favorite meal of the day. It wouldn’t be long before his stomach sent him in search of French toast. I pulled out my book and settled in to read.
A half hour went by. Then another. The lobby grew louder and more crowded around me as families headed for breakfast or out to the slopes or ordered cars to take them into town for the day. Every now and then I glanced up and scanned the room, just in case Christopher had spotted me and decided to camp out somewhere else. I hoped he wouldn’t do that, but you never knew. After an hour and a half had gone by, I was so hungry I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I shoved my book back into my bag and went to t
he Antelope Room for breakfast. Maybe Christopher had gone straight to the buffet instead of stopping off in the lobby.
The dining room was crowded. I saw Carina sitting alone with her book at a far table, completely absorbed by the story, but no sign of Christopher. Or Loretta for that matter. I had this odd ominous feeling. Like I was missing something. Whatever it was, I didn’t like it. What if Loretta was already in some meeting with her lawyers? Or locked in a heated battle with Christopher’s parents in one of the conference rooms? I joined the line for pancakes, but kept one eye on the door. If I could just see Christopher, I knew I’d feel better. Instead, I saw his parents.
For a minute, I just watched the Callahans, trying to figure out what to do and get up the guts to do it. Christopher’s dad looked a lot like Christopher, except his blond hair was slicked back from his face, and he had a more distinguished air about him. His mom wore slacks and a cashmere cardigan, her light brown hair cut to chin length and not a hair out of place. They walked over to the bar where they served coffee and espresso, the dad’s hand on the small of the mom’s back. Watching them made me feel hot all over. These were the people who were going after Loretta, after the Lodge, after my family. Why couldn’t they just drop it? Let everyone move on with their lives? Yes, Christopher had been hurt, and that was awful, but everyone got hurt once in a while. My parents hadn’t sued the company running the skateboarding competition when I’d broken my ankle.
I glanced behind the Callahans, figuring Christopher would be bringing up the rear on his crutches, but he didn’t appear. A few more families and groups streamed through the doors, but no Christopher.
My heart began to pound uncomfortably. Where was he? I looked at his parents, who were now chatting while the woman behind the counter made their coffee drinks. I could just ask them. But that would be intrusive. And odd. I’d only ever met his mother once, briefly. And they looked so…I don’t know, formal. Forbidding? Like people who didn’t want to be bothered by other people. Especially by the granddaughter of the hotel owner they were suing.
Also, I was so bad at talking to strangers.
But this was an emergency.
Sort of.
I was almost at the front of the line. I could just grab a plate full of pancakes and retreat to Carina’s corner and be done with it. But no. This was too important. It was time to be brave. I’d talked to Carina, and that had turned out fine. I could talk to these people, too.
Before I knew what was happening, I had stepped away from the carb line and approached. The couple was just picking up their tiny espresso cups and turning around when I stepped in front of them. Christopher’s mother let out a little “oh” and almost spilled her coffee.
Of course.
“Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean to….Sorry,” I said.
She narrowed her eyes at me like maybe she was trying to remember where she’d seen me before. I wanted to die right there.
“Can we help you with something?” Christopher’s father said.
Yes, you can drop your lawsuit and go back to Princeton already, I thought. But maybe leave your son behind so we can make up?
“Yeah, I’m just…sorry,” I said. “I was looking for Christopher?”
Sheesh. How many times could someone say sorry in the span of ten seconds? I sounded like I hadn’t woken up yet.
“Christopher?” his dad said, as if he’d never heard the name before.
Wait. Did I have the wrong couple? Oh God, I really was going to die.
“Oh, right! You’re that girl he was talking to! Jess!”
“Tess,” I said, and blushed.
“Right. Tess.” She gave a tight smile. “Richard, this is Tess Sachs. Granddaughter of Loretta Sachs?”
He stiffened up so quickly I was surprised he didn’t drop his coffee. Clearly he didn’t want to be around anyone with the last name Sachs.
“I’m afraid Christopher’s not here any longer,” he said tersely. “He went to his cousins’ house.”
“Oh. Okay.” I almost backed off, but somehow held my ground. “Sorry,” I said again. “For the day?”
“For the rest of break,” his mother replied in a kinder tone than his father had managed. “He was just so bored sitting on that couch all day. Not that I could blame him. It must have been torture for him watching people coming and going from the slopes all day and to be stuck there with nothing to do and no one to talk to.”
My face burned even hotter, and I felt like crying. He had me to talk to.
“So…wait. You mean he’s not coming back?” I asked.
“No. We’re going to pick him up there the day after New Year’s and fly home,” his mother said, and gave me a sympathetic frown. “I’m sorry he didn’t let you know.”
“Oh. No. It’s fine. We weren’t. I mean, I didn’t—”
Christopher’s father glanced at his watch. “We should go, Maggie. We have that…call we need to be on.”
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as he said this, and I knew he was taking a call with their lawyers. Suddenly I wanted to grab that stupid little coffee cup out of his hand and throw whatever was left in it right in his face.
But I didn’t.
“Well. It was nice seeing you, Jess,” Christopher’s mother said.
His dad gave me a curt nod, and then they walked away.
I just stood there, staring at the spot where they’d been seconds before, trying not to burst into tears. Christopher was gone. He’d just up and left. Had he even gotten the texts I’d sent last night? Did it mean nothing to him that I’d reached out? That I’d apologized? Was he that angry? Did he believe in this lawsuit so much that he couldn’t even acknowledge me? Apparently that was his plan. And now I was never going to see him again.
All I’d been to him was a distraction, and not even a very good one.
When I got back to our room, Lauren was gone. Bed unmade. Clothes everywhere. Good. I didn’t want her here. I didn’t want anyone anywhere near me. I flung myself onto my bed on my back, tears leaking out the corners of my eyes and pooling in my ears. I wasn’t sobbing, exactly, but I couldn’t stop the tears from quietly flowing. I couldn’t believe he’d just left without saying goodbye. Without saying anything. I checked my phone just to make triple-sure, and the only text was from Carina.
Are you okay? I just saw you run out of the restaurant.
I thought about texting back, but what was I supposed to say? I barely knew her. Confessing that I was broken up about the fact that a guy I’d known for three days had bailed on me just felt so loser-y I could cry. Except I was already crying. I put the phone facedown on the bedside table and took deep breaths instead.
Try to put yourself in his place, I told myself. Yes, we’d been hanging out a lot over the last couple of days, but what about all the hours I wasn’t there with him? I’m not saying I’m the most entertaining person on the planet, but what was he doing when I wasn’t there? Watching videos until his eyes dried out? Texting with friends who were probably doing all kinds of fun things on their winter breaks? Maybe at his cousins’ he’d have more to do. People to play video games with. An aunt and/or uncle who could take him out to the movies or the mall or somewhere other than a couch in the middle of a hotel lobby.
I couldn’t blame him. My list, I’d thought, had been a fun distraction, but that was really just about me. Selfish old me. My heart squeezed when I thought of our argument the night before. Texting clearly wasn’t working. I could just call him. See how he was doing. Say I was sorry for…what? Making him jealous with Damon? I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure he was jealous. I mean, if he really liked me enough to get envious about a couple of hours on the slopes—most of which I didn’t even spend with Damon, by the way, not that he’d given me a chance to tell him that—then wouldn’t he still be here?
But maybe his
leaving had nothing to do with any of this. Maybe he was just pissed off that I didn’t understand why his family was suing my family. Maybe that was too much for us to get over. I had to talk to Loretta. I had to find out what was actually going on. I had to make her talk to me about it.
I lifted my phone again, and it rang. I was so startled I almost dropped it, but instead I hit Accept.
I didn’t even have a chance to see who was calling. Maybe it was him?
“Hello?” I said.
“Tess! Hi, honey! How are you?”
My stomach clenched. It was my mother.
“Oh. Hi, Mom.”
There was a pause. Clearly she could tell how not-psyched I was to talk to her.
“Is everything okay?” she asked gently.
No. Everything was not okay. And even though I was still mad at her, hearing her ask me that in her mom-voice got to me. Before I knew what was happening, I started to spill.
“I think I messed something up, and I don’t know how to fix it,” I said, my voice, annoyingly, cracking.
She took a deep breath, and I could just imagine her settling into her favorite chair by the window with a cup of tea. “Tell me what it is and we’ll figure it out.”
So I did. I told her everything. Well, not about the lawsuit, because I knew in the depths of my soul that Loretta wouldn’t want me talking about it. But everything that had to do with me. How I felt like I was always doing things for other people, but never anything for myself. How I wanted to try new things and stop being so nervous all the time. Stop being the good girl—“Sorry, Mom”—all the time. She laughed at that. “No apologies necessary.”
And then I told her about Christopher and how he’d helped me write, and laminate, and get started on completing the list.
“But then yesterday I went with Lauren and some other people to go ski the black diamond, and when I got back he was flirting with some other girl and he was so mad at me,” I said. “Like I’d betrayed him somehow.”