“This place costs money,” she argued.
“His new wife has a lot of that.”
She does? I’d never met her.
But I countered. “He’d save the money and kill me if he actually thought I was a threat.”
“Would he?” I retorted. “In his head, I’m sure he thinks he loves you. Like Humbert Humbert.” And then I shrugged. “Perhaps he wants to teach you a lesson. Make you suffer.”
To my surprise, amusement crossed her eyes. “Because he loves me so much, right?”
Typical abuser. He never hated her, just like Damon’s mom never hated him, and none of us ever hated Rika when we were stealing her inheritance, kidnapping her family, and burning down her house. The diseased mind only sees its own intentions, and everything they did and everything we did justified the end.
The path to who we want to be is winding, at best. Everything was justified because we were all the victims in our story.
“There’s no one we make suffer more than those we love,” Aydin chimed in.
His arm sat on mine, our fists grinding against each other as we tried to squirm our way free, but I gazed at Emmy and the valley between the olive skin of her breasts and her toned stomach, and I could almost feel her in my hands.
She was so close. Do you still want to hold me? I blinked long and hard, trying to push away the swelling in my groin.
“Do you want to know what I did to get in here?” Aydin asked her. “The awful shit I pulled?”
She watched him, and despite the cool air, a light layer of sweat coated my neck and chest.
“I refused…to get married,” he answered. “That’s it.”
Alex’s eyes fell, and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else.
“And I can get out anytime I want,” Aydin continued. “As soon as I agree.”
I didn’t actually know that, but it changed nothing. I knew of Aydin before I came here. He was in Meridian City frequently, and we were often at the same clubs and parties, although we never met.
“Did you think I killed someone?” he teased Emory. “Fucked my sister, maybe?”
Maybe, out of all of us, he was sent here for the least, but he was capable of the most, because he knew people almost immediately upon meeting them. It had happened with Rory, Micah, and Taylor. Even I had been here so much longer than necessary, because he proved too difficult to maneuver.
“My future wife is beautiful, smart, she comes from the right family,” he said. “The hand-picked, perfect spouse and mother to build my life around. And I was completely on board…until one night.”
“The artist…” Emmy said.
I shot my eyes up, looking between them and seeing him nod.
Artist? How did she know anything about it?
“What did she do?” Em asked.
He stared at the women, and I followed his gaze, both Emmy and Alex looking so beautiful that I swore I felt myself back in my old room in my parents’ house, nestled in my damn bed as the morning light heated the sheets.
“That,” he answered.
Alex’s chin rested on Emmy’s shoulder, and she slid her fingers around her naked waist, caressing her.
“This?” Alex taunted.
Aydin and Alex stared at each other, unblinking, as the pulse in my neck throbbed faster.
“I just watched her through the computer screen,” he said, as if in a trance, “and it was like my skin had sliced open, releasing all this pressure I’d gotten so used to feeling my entire life.” His chest rose and fell more rapidly by the second. “And I could finally breathe and see color and shit. I felt hot, and the world suddenly looked so different, because…”
He swallowed as Alex splayed her hand across Emmy’s stomach, touching her softly and gently. Em sat frozen, but after a moment, she relaxed into Alex, inviting her in.
“Because no blade cuts as deep as something that beautiful,” he whispered.
Cuts… I dropped my eyes to the tattoo I’d done on his shoulder. Claw marks dug into his skin forever.
“She had these eyes.” He stared at Alex, scared and desperate. Like the memory hurt. “I swore I could reach through the screen and touch her, the way she looked at me and made everything else disappear. I didn’t care what I lost, what I risked,” he told her, “I had to have her.”
I gazed at Emmy, remembering how stubborn I thought she was, but really she just made sense, and I resented her for it. We were a part of two different worlds, my friends would be difficult with her, and I was outgoing and loved to be around people, and she preferred to be alone. We were so different.
But those moments, like when I had her in my arms in the theater, confirmed what I already knew.
It would be worth it.
“But when I finally worked up the courage to claim her, she had survived without me,” Aydin explained. “It hurt. I’d been tearing myself apart in my head, going crazy, and she’d…she’d let everyone have a piece of something that was mine. I was a memory. I didn’t matter.”
“And she was a whore for it,” Alex said.
He held Alex’s eyes as she pulled one of the straps of Emmy’s bra down her shoulder, and Emmy didn’t stop her as her stomach rose and fell.
But Aydin answered, “No.” He gazed at the girls as Emmy’s other strap came down, and Alex’s hands trailed over her body. “She puts one foot in front of the other, does what she has to do, and lives honestly. She’s unashamed with her fucking chin up.” His voice grew stronger. “She’s loyal, everyone’s mother with warm arms and a kind smile, a survivor, and she solves the problem without dwelling on the loss.”
His eyes hardened, filled with pride.
“She’s a fucking Viking,” he said. “And I won’t have anyone else.”
My heart sank a moment as I looked at Em, because it was all true. Nothing else mattered. If it killed us, she was the one. In that moment, I didn’t care about her sins, if anyone else had touched her besides me, or that we were both our own worst enemies.
That was my girl, scarred, tattered soul, and all. She was beautiful.
Alex stood up, her body rigid as she slowly backed up, and Aydin rose, too, his gaze locked on her.
Bringing his and my hands up to his mouth, he worked the belt loose with his teeth, and Alex breathed so hard I could hear it as she continued to retreat.
The belt loosened, and I pulled at it, finally freeing my left hand as both of us turned to our other arms and untied ourselves.
Aydin growled, unable to free himself, and Alex gasped as he ripped the hook out of the wall and charged for her. She scurried into the bathroom, and he grabbed her under the arms and lifted her into his.
“Touch me,” he panted over her mouth.
She broke down, closing her eyes and sobbing. “Not now,” she cried. “Not after everything. How could you do this now?”
He buried his mouth in her neck, holding her head to his body and squeezing her tight.
I looked at Emmy, her eyes rimmed with tears that hadn’t fallen. She stood up and backed away from me, and I advanced, gazing at her naked shoulders and the straps laying lazily down her arms.
She ran, I caught her, and the next thing I knew we had all stumbled into the shower, a chaos of arms and legs as I twisted the knob. I turned on the water, drenching and trapping her as my mouth covered hers. I slipped my tongue between her lips, caressing her tongue, and the heat cascading right down to my groin as I pressed her into the wall and moved over her soft, full lips.
“Take it, Emory,” Aydin told her next to us. “Let him touch you everywhere.”
I stared down into her eyes, almost amused that he thought he still had any power over her. “Let him try to stop me,” I challenged and then asked her, “You ready for this?”
“Unless you’re telling me to fasten my seatbelt,” she fired back, “shut up, Will.”
I grinned, ripping off her shorts, tearing her bra from her body, and twisting her around, pulling her panties down to
her thighs.
She whimpered, and I reached around, cupping her throat as I took off her glasses, setting them on the soap dish, and breathed into her ear. “This isn’t young love anymore,” I told her, pressing her tits into the shower wall. “It’s not a crush. This is a man who’s long overdue in showing you what he can do.”
And I slammed my mouth down on hers again and ripped open my jeans.
Will
Seven Years Ago
My mom shouted from downstairs, and I heard male voices as footfalls hit the stairs.
My door whipped opened, and I popped my head up, looking over my shoulder as I laid on my stomach on the bed.
I blinked several times, seeing Kai standing in my doorway in khaki cargo shorts and no shirt.
“You get in and you don’t call us?” he snipped.
My head pounded, and I rolled over, groaning. College was bad for me. I’d never been so hungover.
Someone else pushed through the door, and then I heard Damon’s voice. “Damn. I thought he’d at least have company.”
They walked in, and I looked over at the clock, seeing it was 10:13 a.m.
“What the hell, Will?” Kai growled. “It’s been months. You get into town, you let us know.”
“It’s been like ten weeks,” I griped, reaching over for a cigarette on my nightstand. “We were all just in Miami for spring break. Jesus.”
Kai came over and snatched the cigarette out of my mouth before I could light it, and then walked into the bathroom, turning on the faucet.
I shot him a look. “And I just got in last night,” I pointed out. “Late.”
I hadn’t had time to get in touch with anyone yet. They’d all been home a couple of weeks on summer break already, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of returning until my mom called and laid on the guilt trip. Apparently everyone was lost without me, and if I didn’t show up, so she wouldn’t have to deal with Damon and Kai coming by every day, she’d cut off my credit card.
Of course, she was teasing. I was her good boy.
Although I’d barely made it through my first year at Princeton, and I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation. I hated disappointing my parents. The letter from my advisor loomed on my nightstand, because I’d skipped too many classes and was failing a couple of gen ed classes.
It was painful, trying to care about that shit. I didn’t want to be there, but I ended up staying in New Jersey even after the term had ended because Thunder Bay was a wasteland for me.
It had been almost two years this fall since I’d last touched her, and nothing was getting better. I rubbed my hands up and down my face, and then something landed on me, and I howled as Damon straddled me.
I scowled up at him, smelling this weird mixture of sunscreen and cigarettes on him.
“Going to the beach?” I asked.
“Again, yes,” he said. “We were already there yesterday, but some of these chicks have aged up since the last time we saw them in bikinis.” He swatted at me, yelling in my face. “It’s harvest time!”
“Get the fuck off me.” But I couldn’t help laughing. It was good to see them.
Maybe I’d feel more human soon, being home.
He hopped off me, and Kai came back with a glass of water.
“Gotta spare toothbrush?” Damon asked, heading into the bathroom.
He didn’t wait for an answer, though, before he started rummaging through the drawers under the sink.
Finding a package, he ripped it open and pulled out one of the new brushes my mom had put there. She was good about being prepared for anything.
I took the water and set it down on my nightstand as Damon wet the toothbrush and added toothpaste.
“Did you see prissy little Fane yesterday on the beach?” he asked Kai. “Girl has some swagger now. Tell me that’s not going to be sweet.”
Kai made a face. “God, you’re a loser. What college guy comes home and continues to chase high school tail? Grow up.”
“I saw you looking, too,” Damon shot back, flipping him off.
They must’ve seen her at the beach yesterday.
“Besides, that tail is Michael’s,” Kai pointed out. “He just doesn’t know it yet, so don’t even think about pulling that shit while he’s away.”
I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and burying my aching head in my hands. I didn’t want sun and sand today.
I didn’t want to walk around this town, knowing she’d already left to start her college summer courses in California and had moved on with her life.
Kai stood over me and picked up the paper next to my lamp, reading it.
His eyes met mine and then he tossed it down, sifting through the other shit on my nightstand. Money and pills in a blank prescription bottle. A vial of coke.
His gaze sharpened, and his jaw flexed.
Opening the little drawer, I swiped everything off the table and pushed it inside, closing it.
“Get out,” I told them, ignoring the judgment in his look. “I need to shower.”
Damon rinsed and headed out the door, but Kai remained, the heat of his stare annoying me.
“One or both of you will be in jail by the end of the year if you don’t get it together,” he hissed. “I can’t be Michael. I have enough on my plate. Get rid of this shit, or I will.”
He left the room, slamming the door, and I flinched.
Was he actually surprised? My winning personality didn’t happen on a dime.
• • •
Several hours later, Kai had gone to dinner with his parents and Damon and I were rolling up to the Cove to take in the view one last time. The sun hadn’t set yet, but I was grimy and sticky from the beach—the only good thing coming out of our day there was that I had sweated out my hangover.
“This place is like a ghost town,” Damon mumbled as we walked through the empty parking lot toward Cold Point. “They’ll run through September, but the next time we come home, it’ll be closed.”
I gazed past the entrance and the ticket booths, spying the beams that held the pirate ship. I could still hear her laughing that night.
My heart ached. God, that dress. Her smile.
Emmy Scott happy was the most beautiful thing in the world.
“You’re like a ghost, too,” Damon said.
I turned away from the Cove, heading straight for the cliffs. “I’m fine,” I told him.
I would be. Eventually.
“You’re not,” he retorted. “That fucking girl…”
“Enough.”
“Fuck her.”
“I said enough.”
I shot him a glare, both of us climbing out to the point and up onto the rock, peering out at the gray sea, the lighthouse on Deadlow Island the only thing shining in the darkening horizon.
It was probably for the best that Adventure Cove was closing this fall. Things needed to die.
I looked down, inching to the edge and watching the water crash into the rocks.
“There’s someone for you too, you know?” I teased him, forcing a smile.
“I never said there wasn’t.” He blew smoke out of his mouth, flicking his cigarette off the cliff. “There’s someone for me. I’ll have her and my kids someday, but I’m not letting her fuck me up—or someone mess Michael and Kai up—the way Emory Scott messed up your head.”
I sighed, thinking back on my last year in high school and all the times she walked past me as if I’d never been inside of her.
Pride is a motherfucker. I couldn’t chase her anymore and still like myself, so I toughened up and gave as good as I got, ignoring her too, and what do you know?
I still didn’t like myself.
“I would’ve been good to her,” I said, kicking a pebble over the edge. “I was good to her.”
“And she didn’t trust you,” he added. “She’s a snotty, stuck-up little cunt who thought she was better.”
I looked away, his words making my blood boil a little. He was trying
to be a friend. Trying to be on my side.
But I wish he’d shut up. Emmy wasn’t like that.
I could be angry with her but no one else.
In my heart, she was still my girl.
“And you’re going to spend the rest of your life showing her that she was wrong,” he told me. “That she missed out on the best.”
Yeah. I’d try.
I inhaled a long breath and tipped my head left and right, cracking my neck.
He was right. It was long past time Will Grayson came back to life. With or without her.
“Let’s do Devil’s Night tonight,” I told him. “I’m in the mood for the good ol’ days.”
He grinned, ready as always.
• • •
I wasn’t sure when I’d figured it out. Damon would never tell me what had happened that night I saw them in the locker room—just that he’d run into Emory and she’d helped him.
Over time, I continued to watch her, the reality of her routine giving me all the information I needed, but was too blind to face sooner. The bruises, scrapes, and cuts couldn’t have come from anywhere but her home. She didn’t have friends. She didn’t go anywhere other than school, the movies, or her little projects around town.
Unless she was in some underground fight club happening right under my nose, that piece of shit was brutalizing her.
I knew why she hadn’t told me. I knew why she thought she couldn’t tell me.
Martin Scott was only one of the things in our way, but it was the one thing I could beat the shit out of.
“Do we really want to do this?” Kai asked, hesitation thick in his tone. “A cop is a crime—like a real crime, Will. We all understand this, right?”
He sat in the backseat, while I sat in the front, Damon driving one of his father’s SUVs.
I pulled on gloves, “Fire Up the Night” playing in the car as I stared out the windshield at Officer Scott across the street hassling a car full of kids he’d just stopped.
“Leave if you want,” I told him.
It wasn’t a threat. I didn’t expect his help, and I didn’t need it. Kai had a lot to lose, and I wouldn’t judge him for walking out on this. Not that I didn’t have a lot to lose. I just didn’t care.
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