by Riley, Alexa
Pulling out of the parking lot, I hear Casper behind me on her chopper, and Vincent is just behind her in his car. I change gears and hit the gas, letting the wind flow around us and blow away the bullshit. Some people say when they’re on their bike, they’re free, but not me. When I’m on mine, it’s a reminder of what I’m missing and who’s not sitting behind me, where she should be. Riding with Julie and feeling her warmth at my back changes everything.
When I feel her face press against me from behind, I reach back and rub her thigh, letting her know I feel it too. In this moment we are connecting and thinking back to all the other rides we’ve taken together. It feels like old times, and our hearts recognize what we once were. I’ve fought this thing between us, and I’m tired—so fucking tired—of fighting it. One thing in my entire life has made me happy and made me a better man, and that’s Julie. She’s my everything, and I threw her away because I was scared. I know what needs to change, and deciding to go to her tonight was the kick in the nuts I needed. It was the universe telling me, “Hey, dumbass, you’ve got one more chance,” and I’m not about to waste it.
We pull up to the iron gates, and I punch in the access code to the clubhouse. I look back at Julie and I can tell she’s seen the numbers I put in. I’ve always used her birthday, and I’ve never even thought about changing it. We don’t say anything as I roll through, pulling up outside the clubhouse, and helping her off the bike.
When I walk up to the double doors, I take her hand. She pulls back and just stands there, looking at me and then at the doors.
“We’ve got a lot to talk about, shortcake, so let’s get inside.”
Casper and Vincent stroll up beside me and stop to look at us. “Since she’s your wife, I guess that means she’s old lady status, but you might wanna check with Pres since she’s not agreeing to much, and she’s not sporting your tags,” Casper says.
I hate to admit it, but Casper has a point. Vincent shakes Casper’s tags around his neck as he walks by, both of them going into the clubhouse and leaving us outside.
I look back at Julie, and she crosses her arms over her chest.
“Baby, you’ve gotta wear my tags to get in. No exceptions.”
“I guess I’m not going inside then.”
She’s doing that ‘stubborn Julie’ thing I fucking love, but right now isn’t the time to be proud. “I get that you want to be right, and you still can be, but you can’t go through those doors without my tags on.” As I say it, I pull my tags out of my pocket and hold the chain open so she can put it on.
She looks back at me and then at the doors, but still stands there with her arms crossed. We are both frozen in our stubborn stance when she finally speaks.
“The last time I came to those doors I was five months pregnant with your son. I didn’t tell Lucias I was pregnant. I just told him I needed to see you. I thought you should’ve heard that from me, and truthfully, I didn’t want you to be with me because you felt obliged. When I said I needed to see you, Lucias told me to disappear and leave you alone because it was for the best. I didn’t need anything from you, but I thought you deserved to know. Making the decision to leave you that day and to raise our baby on my own was the hardest decision I’ve ever made in my life. So I’m sorry if I’m not super eager to bust in there and pretend like everything between us is fine.”
“Jesus, Julie. No one ever told me. I swear. Back then, fuck, I was a mess. Just hearing your name sent me on a bender for weeks. I drank and did drugs to try to make the pain go away. I did everything I could to forget us and how goddamn much I loved you. But nothing worked. Please, Julie, please. Just come inside with me and talk. It’s the one place I can keep you safe, and we need to get some shit between us straight. You don’t have to forgive me, but putting them on tells everyone you’re mine, and it’s the only way you can get inside.”
“Fine. Let’s get it over with.”
She leans forward a little, and I put the chain over her white blonde curls, around her neck. Once they hang in place over her heart, I feel something inside me settle. Something I didn’t even know was there.
I take her hand, and she lets me lead her through the doors and into the club. The main room is huge, and a few people are hanging out playing pool. There’s a long bar across one wall, and on the other side are couches facing a bank of tvs. No sweet butts are allowed in the clubhouse because they stir up shit, and Pres only wants people he can fully trust behind these walls, so on a Saturday night it’s not too packed. A few of the old ladies like to party, and some of the guys don’t mind sharing, so it can still get a bit rowdy, even with only a handful of people. Thankfully it’s a quiet night, and I just keep walking through to the back stairwell.
The house is spread out over a couple of floors, the top one is half mine and half Pres’s. He wanted us to live at the club to be close to everything at all times. Casper and Scribe have their own places, but they each have a room here to crash in case shit goes down. Pres and I live here full time since we both work at the garage on the other side of the compound, and aren’t interested in tagging pussy.
I hold her hand as we climb, only letting go to reach into my pocket for my keys. I grab her hand again and pull her into my space, a little nervous about showing her my place. We walk through the door, I lock it behind us, and she stands there and looks around.
I feel my cheeks heat a little, knowing what she’s looking at. The place is small, but it’s set up as an apartment with a living space, kitchen, and bedroom with an attached bath. It’s nothing over the top, but it’s clean and private. I’ve never let anyone in here before, so I decorated it the way I wanted to.
“Abraham,” she whispers, and my face reddens further. “Why?”
“Because this was the only way I could have you.” On every wall in my home, there’s a picture of Julie. A few of them are of us before the accident, but the biggest one is of our wedding day.
“After Vegas, I lost it. I started drinking until I blacked out, doing drugs, anything to numb the way I felt. I thought that night was the end of me, and I was running away from everything that I loved to finish my life as fast as I could. I had nothing left to live for after that night. After a few months, I decided to end it all, and I drove out to the river with a pistol. I was there, thinking about how I couldn’t have you and how nothing in my head would ever be right, when Mac showed up. She told me how she knew what it felt like to hate yourself, and how if I ended my life, it wouldn’t fix the wrong I’d done. She told me if I spent the rest of my life trying to make it right, then it was a life worth living. I didn’t know if I could ever have you again, but I could have this.”
I open my arms and gesture around the place covered in her smiles and laughter.
“And this was worth living for. If I got to wake up every day and see your face, even if it was just a picture, it was a day worth living. I hoped one day that I could make it back to you, and fix the wrong I’d done. I was trying to find the perfect moment, but there didn’t ever seem to be one. Tonight I was pushed to act faster, I had someone watching you, only telling me if you were okay. I didn’t know where you were or what you were up to. Tonight I asked where you were so I could find you and start my apology. I wanted to start to make right what I did to you, but hearing where you were, and how you were tangled up, sent me over the edge. I couldn’t wait any longer, and I needed to have you by my side.”
She looks at me and puts her hands over her mouth, tears running down her fingers.
“I know what happened on our wedding night was awful, and my leaving you like that was the worst thing I could’ve done to you. When I hit bottom, Lucias threw me in a ring, and gave me a way to channel my self-loathing. I hate myself so much for leaving you, and not being the man I knew you deserved.” I take a step towards her, walking slowly so she doesn’t step away. “I knew if I saw you, even for a second, before I was better, I wouldn’t be able to let you go, and I would have made the same mistake as before.
I know what I did was wrong, and I wish I had a better word than ‘sorry’, but I’m so sorry, Julie. I’m so goddamn sorry.” I get on my knees in front of her and open my arms. It’s the same thing I did in her parents’ house the night I convinced her to run away and marry me.
Julie drops her hands, but tears still stream down her face. “Don’t you do this shit, Abe. Don’t you get on your knees and tell me you’re sorry. You broke my fucking heart, and I hate you for everything.”
“Baby, I hate me too. I hate me for being so fucking stupid and so fucking proud and for walking out on you. I hate me more than you ever could.” I kneel in front of her as she cries. I don’t have any tears left after nearly three years without her, so she cries for both of us as my heart bleeds. “Please, Julie. I can’t do this again. I can’t live without you and I can’t let you go. I’m not the man I was then. I’m so sorry, baby. Let me spend my life making it up to you.”
She looks around the room, seeing the pictures of herself, and then closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. I can see she’s been hurting just as much as I have, and it’s time we both put an end to the pain.
“Shortcake, we have a child together, and now that I know about him, I want to be in his life. I may have been a shitty husband, but I won’t be a shitty father. Whether you agree to let me back in your life is your decision, but I’ll be in his, no matter what. So if you’ll be mine, don’t do it because of the baby, say you’ll be mine again because you love me.”
She opens her eyes and looks straight into mine. “You know I love you more than bacon.”
With her words, I reach out and wrap her in my arms. She falls on her knees with me, and I hold her while she cries.
“Fuck, I love you so much, Julie. I’ll never leave you again, baby.” If this is the universe giving us one last chance, I’m not screwing it up.
I cradle her in my arms before picking her up off the floor and carrying her to my bed. I lay her down on it and climb on top of her, looking down at how beautiful she is. “Four years since I first met you, and you’ve only grown more beautiful. You’re still that gorgeous, sassy shortcake who stole my world out from under me.”
She sheds a few more tears, and I lean down, kissing them away. I kiss her lashes and cheeks, and then make my way to her lips. Once our mouths connect, I’m lost. Her kisses are like a drug, and I drown in euphoria. Our tongues taste one another, remembering the dance we never forgot. I hold her face in my hands, and her arms and legs automatically wrap around my body as if no time has passed. My body and hers, aligning as always, perfectly in sync, like time has stood still.
I’m hard as a rock and stiff with primal need. I push her skirt up and press my jean-covered erection to her warmth. We both moan at the sensation, and I pull back, taking my clothes off.
“Get naked, shortcake. I need to fuck you into the next century.”
She looks at me and blushes a little. She’s shy like never before, and I pause, my jeans halfway off.
“What’s wrong? Is this too fast? Fuck, was I reading this wrong? I thought for sure this was make-up sex.”
“No, no, Abe. I want to. It’s just…my body’s changed a lot since the baby, and I don’t look like I used to.” She tugs at her t-shirt a little, and I lean down over her, pushing her hands away.
“Baby, there’s not an inch of you I don’t love, and seeing as I’ve missed out on every inch of you for the past three years, now is not the time to be shy. I’m the one who’s all scarred-up, and you’re this perfect bombshell. You’re the beauty to my beast.”
Julie laughs a little, and I help her take her clothes off. Once she’s completely naked, I look at her body, seeing a few small scars on her stomach from being pregnant. “The only differences are these,” I say, leaning down and kissing each one. “And they’re so fucking beautiful.”
“Stop it, Abe. You don’t have to lie to me. I got as big as a house carrying your son” She tries to push me away, but I sit up and pin her arms above her head.
“I’ve never fucking lied to you, Julie, and I never will. Your body carried my baby, and I’m sick thinking about how I missed out on that. I wanted nothing more than to see you pregnant with my child and make a family with you. I know I fucked that up, and I missed out on the chance, but I plan on knocking you up again to make up for lost time.”
“Abe, it’s been a long time, and I’m not naïve. I’m sure you’ve been with other people, so you should wear a condom, and we can have that talk another time. I’m not on the pill either.”
“I hope you’re not saying you’ve been with someone else, because I sure as shit haven’t. I’m married to you, baby, and even if I wasn’t, there’s not a person on this planet other than you I can get hard for. I haven't even thought of another woman since the moment I saw you in that store aisle. Plastering my house with your picture didn’t work, so I haven’t so much as jerked off in nearly three years. At this point, you could breathe on me and I’d cum.” I lean down close to her mouth, inches away from her lips. “You tell me right now if you’ve been with someone else.”
“No, Abe. There’s only ever been you.”
I sit up and pull my shirt off, showing her the necklace I wear. She reaches up and touches my wedding ring that’s hanging on the chain, and then looks into my eyes.
“I took it off my finger and put in around my neck. You’ve always been my wife, and you’ve always been right next to my heart.” I grab the chain and give it a pop, breaking it, and taking the ring off. I give it to Julie, and after a second of hesitation, she slides it on my ring finger, where it will stay until the day I die.
I reach down and touch the dog tags lying between her breasts, seeing them as a symbol of my claim to her and of our bond. “I’ve only ever been yours, baby.”
She caresses the scars across my chest and arms, feeling all the places I’ve been injured. Looking into her eyes, I expect to see pity, but my girl is strong and doesn’t disappoint me. “Your scars remind me of what we’ve overcome. Take me, Abe. Make my body remember what it’s like to be owned by you.”
Hearing the words makes me harder, and I can feel the pre-cum drip off the end of my cock. “That’s right, baby. I’m the only one who’s ever been in that pussy, and I’m the only one who’s ever going to be in it.”
I kick off my jeans and the rest of my clothes as I kiss her neck, and then move to her chest, licking and sucking her nipples. I take her big tits in my hands, and go back and forth, nibbling on them just the way she likes it. She grips my hair and holds me closer to her, and I feel her hips rocking under me, her pussy begging for attention. I reluctantly move away from her tits and go down her body, only letting them go because I know the real prize is her sweet, sweet cunt. Before I get to her honey pot, I stop and look at the stretch marks on her belly. I don’t know how, but they make her even sexier. Knowing that she got these carrying my baby, growing my seed, it makes me harder.
I shoulder my way between her thighs and press my nose against her mound. Her hair is so white blonde here too, her pussy almost looks like it’s bare. She smells better than my dreams, and I close my eyes, just savoring it. After a moment, she pushes her pussy up against me, letting me know she wants my attention.
“You want my kisses, baby?”
“God, Abe, don’t tease me. It’s been years. I need you.”
I feel the same way, so I lick my lips and dive in. I lick her clit, and suck on her labia as I slide two fingers inside her pussy. “Fuck, you’re too tight, baby. I need to work you open a little bit.” I fuck her with my fingers and feast on her pussy, licking up her sweet honey as it runs down to her ass. I lube up my pinky finger with her juices, sliding it to her back hole. She shivers and moans, letting me know my girl likes ass play.
I’m so fucking hard, I have to fight not to cum, but it’s useless. Having her pussy on my face, having her scent surround me, is enough, and I give in and cum on myself. Julie doesn’t seem to notice or care, she’s so lost in
my touch. I cum all over the bed without having even touched my cock. After my quick orgasm, I feel her start to peak. Her pussy squeezes my fingers as her back bows off the bed. She grabs my hair, pulling my face closer to her clit, and I suck hard, sending her over the edge.
“Abe!” she shouts, and it goes straight to my dick. I’m still hard after my first orgasm, but I know it’s going to take five or six times before that fucker gets even a little soft.
I eat her orgasm, but as she comes down, my kisses go soft and sweet. Little tremors rock her body, but once they’re all over, I move back up and get in position.
“Fuck, Abe. That felt so good.”
“You’re still so tight, baby, so this may hurt a little. I’ve just got to get inside you before I die.”
At my words, I line us up and thrust inside her hard.
“Fuck!” I shout, holding myself inside her. I start cumming right away and just hold it in her, trying to catch my breath. “Oh God.” I choke out the words, my orgasm taking over, as I spill inside her. I didn’t mean to cum this fast, but she’s so tight and wet, I can’t control it. I just had an orgasm, and already I’m having another.
“Sorry,” I murmur as the last of my cum shoots inside her.
“Jesus, I forgot how big that fucking thing was.”
Our eyes meet, and she smiles at me. I can see she’s trying to hide the twinge of pain, so we both just stay connected and catch our breath. I brush my thumb across her cheek, looking at her and marveling at how perfect she is.
“We’ve got the rest of our lives, Julie. I don’t want to rush it.”
She nods at me, agreeing with my statement, wrapping her body around mine. I hold myself inside her, just savoring how good she feels, but after a few minutes she starts to move her hips. She’s ready for more, and I’m ready to give her whatever it is she wants.