by Ines Vieira
Let’s see how he does at the center. If those kids even take on a whiff of insincerity on his part, they’ll eat him alive. I can’t help but smile at that notion. Yep, Isaac better bring his A game today, otherwise, he won't make it and the center really does need him to make a genuine effort. I wasn’t lying yesterday when I said that we were short staffed. Due to the bad economy, we’ve had a lot of our counselors move away or take full-time paying jobs which didn’t permit them to dedicate more than only a couple of hours a week. The center ran on donations alone and that was good enough to pay the utilities and other expenses. But we relied a lot on people volunteering their time as well to keep the place running. The good thing was that we didn’t pay any rent. The couple that ran the center inherited the house from a grandparent. Instead of selling it, they quit their teaching jobs and turned their dream of helping unprivileged children in their community into a reality. This was ten years ago and the center has been up and running ever since.
When we get there, I signal Isaac to park next to me. We don’t have an actual parking lot. Just a big driveway and some flat land on the side of the road, that everyone uses to park their cars. The center is just a big one story house. It walls are pale blue on the outside with dark blue shutters. In front of the house, we have a small swing set, a seesaw, and a sandbox.
In the back of the house, we have a little bit more space. This is where we have our small flower and vegetable garden. In the springtime, we get all the kids outside to plant new flowers and all types of vegetables. From sweet potatoes to tomatoes and lettuces to even pumpkins. Anything that we can use. We also plant herbs, such as parsley, coriander, and mint. The center also has enough land in the back that we even have a small diamond for the kids to play baseball when it's warm enough. In the snow season, we get the older kids to make snowmen and give the little ones the responsibility of decorating them. Those days always end in a snow fight and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.
The back part of the house used to be much bigger than it is now, though. A couple of years ago we were able to raise enough money to build an extension. That’s the new indoor gym, so the kids can also play sports inside when the weather calls for it. Inside we have a large kitchen with one wooden table that seats about twelve at a time. All the kitchen supplies have been donated. Oven, stove, washing machine, microwaves are all secondhand but they work to perfection. We have two bathrooms, one for boys, the other for girls and eight rooms. The largest room must have originally been a living room. Now it's used as our own baby daycare for the little ones. Every kid between the ages of one to four is in this room. Every other room is designated to a different age group. One for the 5/6-year-olds, another for the 7/8 and so forth until the twelve-year-old mark. Usually, the kids that outgrow the center, come back, later on, to volunteer as well. Each room has a white board on the side wall and two large white tables and chairs. These are used for everything, from completing homework, to arts and crafts or any other activity that we can come up with. In every room, there are two boxes next to the door, fixated on the wall. The green box is where the kids can write down things that they would like to do in the center. Anything that they can come up with that they feel excited about doing. The red box is to write down things that they are worried about or that has happened and they need to get off their chest. The center is all about making it safe to say express your wants as well as your fears. We have one library full of donated books, complete with shag carpeting and bean bags on the floor. We have a lounge with one television set and three computers donated by our church. The last room is used for storage. Looking at it from the outside, it may not seem like much, but inside it’s a whole different story.
Once we step foot on the porch we can already hear the commotion from inside those walls. These are the few hours that I forget about myself and focus only on the good. Before opening the door, I look over to Isaac and Brandon.
“You ready?” Isaac places his hand on Brandon's shoulder. Brandon still looks like he’s about to throw up.
“We’re ready. Let's see these little monsters!”
When we step in, I see Jane right away sitting at her desk, staring at her computer with one of the toddlers in her lap. When she looks up and sees me her whole face brightens up.
“Cass! You brought visitors. I’m so glad!” She stands up holding the curly haired girl to her hip.
“Jane, I’d like you to meet Isaac and Brandon. They would like to volunteer a few afternoons a week after school.”
“That’s wonderful!” She says and awkwardly hugs both of them with the little one grabbing onto her dark locks. Jane is a gorgeous ebony queen. Although she is almost 50, no one would ever give her that age. She is extremely fit and puts most of us to shame with her rambunctious energy. She needs to have it in order to run this place. The thing I love most about her is her smile. Jane has a smile that would light up a room and she has the knack of making you feel special.
“I’ll need you to fill out some paperwork and copy any ID that you have with you. You don’t mind background checks do you? No criminal records or anything of that kind?” Brandon is turning greener the longer she talks. I see Isaac’s hand still on his shoulder and he gives him a light squeeze.
“No Ma’am! You can check us out all you need to. We are so squeaky clean that it’s boring!” I can't help but roll my eyes. I go to the desk and grab my ID badge and sign in. I gesture them to do the same and Jane hands them the paperwork they need to fill in.
“Well then, Cass, can you show the boys around for me? My hands are full with all these excel sheets Patrick wants me to fill in. Afterward, can you take Brandon to the 1st grader’s room and take Isaac to see Patrick?” she smiles towards them and kisses the little girl’s nose.
“We need to get back to this don’t we, Miss?” She says to the little angel wrapped around her and continues on with what she was doing before we came through the door.
I gave both of them the tour of the center and went over some health and safety guidelines. Both remained silent throughout and only interrupted to make poignant questions such as where the fire exists and first aid kits were. I couldn’t help but smile as I could see that they were finally taking it all in.
After I showed them around, we headed back to the first room next to the kitchen and living room. This stop was to the first/second graders room. This room was similar to the others except the tables were in the back as today the kids were entitled to their puppet show. They had helped out creating each puppet. From drawing their eyes, noses and mouths, to the wardrobe and hair. The puppets were basic wooden spoons decorated with yarn for hair and cloth from some old sheets and curtains that we had in storage. The kids had glued glitter and buttons to the costumes. Even some very ingenious hats were made for each character. I saw everything from pirates to knights to princesses, to amazons. They had worked so hard and now the show was their reward. The show had begun and all the kids were sitting on the floor dazzled. I usually worked with the 6th graders and I saw four of my kids helping out with the show. They had written a small play last week specifically for this purpose and now they were acting it out in front of an audience. I scanned the room until I saw whom I was looking for.
“Caroline? Psst Caroline?” I tried to get her attention without interrupting the show. The cheerful blond finally saw me and came over to the door with her little sister in her arms. Caroline was one of those kids that even after turning twelve wouldn’t stop coming every day. She was fourteen now and was a freshman at Riverside too. She was the eldest of three, and when her mother passed away a few years back, she had to grow up pretty fast. Her father was a good man, but finding himself alone in a house with three small girls and having to raise them on his own must have seemed pretty daunting. Jane and Patrick learned of his misfortune very early on and they were able to help him out by bringing the girls to the center. In turn Caroline’s dad is the center’s own gardener. He was the one that gave us the idea to use
the space in the back of the house to make a small garden. Caroline later confided that her mom had a green thumb of her own and that her parents could always be caught outside planting something new. I always thought that her father wanted us to have this garden so that his girls could also feel like their mother was watching over them here too.
“Hey, Cass! You brought guests.” She says looking towards the two boys behind me.
“Caroline, I brought you your next victim! Brandon, come on over.” I say while pushing Brandon inside the room. “Brandon this is Caroline. She will show you the ropes around here. There is always an adult in the room, if not two so don’t worry you will never be alone with these little rascals. Caroline is usually here every day as well. And this darling holding Caroline tightly is little Sophia, her sister.” This gets Sophia’s attention and she looks Brandon up and down.
“Are you scared?” She asks in the cutest little voice ever.
“A little.” Brandon´s baritone voice is such a contradiction to Sophia’s that it’s hard to believe such different people can be having a conversation with each other.
“Don’t be scared. We won't bite.” She says trying to reassure him. When I look at Brandon finally smile, I know that Sophia has won him over and that he’ll be fine. Sophia’s eyes don’t stop at Brandon though. I see her peek behind Brandon to see Isaac grinning back at her,
“Cassandra, who is that?” She asks intrigued.
“Sophia, this is Isaac. He will be working here too.” I say to her softly and give him a stern look. My eyes are threatening that he needs to be on his best behavior. He doesn’t even acknowledge my stare. He walks over to Caroline and Sophia and gives her his hand.
“How do you do Sophia? It’s a pleasure.” His voice is almost as sweet as Sophia’s. She smiles back at him and has a twinkle in her eye.
“You look like a lion!” she giggles.
“I do? Well tell me then, do I look like a brave lion or a cowardly lion?” She takes her time answering as if it is a question of life or death.
“Hum, you don’t look scared. So I’m going to say that you are a brave lion.”
“Uff, that’s good to know. Maybe one day I’ll let you hear me roar. Can I tell you what you look like?” She nods ecstatic.
“You look like a princess. The fairest princess there is. So as I am a lion, it's my job to protect you, your highness,” he says as he curtsies before her. Sophia goes crazy and her cute giggling is accompanied by our own laughter. I roll my eyes at the thought that even five-year-olds are not immune to his charms.
“Caroline, do you know where Patrick is?” I ask.
“Yep, second pirate to the left.” She gestures towards the puppet show.
“Okay, can you also introduce Isaac to him. Jane said that he’ll know what to do with him,” I say but see Isaac smirk beside me.
“Sure thing Cass,” She nods her head so that Brandon and Isaac can follow her into the room.
“I’ll be in the room next to the gym. If you need anything just come and see me.” But before I finish my sentence I see Sophia asking Isaac to pick her up from her sister’s lap. She plays with his hair and I see him melt with every stroke.
“We’ll be fine, Cass,” he says, never taking his eyes off Sophia’s sweet face. I leave honestly thinking that both of them will indeed be fine.
ISAAC
Patrick had put me to work straight away. The gymnasium hadn’t been used for quite some time as the PE teacher that used to volunteer had to move to Boston. If I was up to it, Patrick suggested that I be in charge of the gym. That would mean not only playing with the kids but also the basic upkeep, like sweeping the floors, taking care of the sports equipment and making sure to lock up the gym once everyone went home. I actually liked the idea of having this added responsibility and not having to rely on a third party to tell me what I could or could not do with the kids. I asked Jane if it would be alright for me to do a quick inventory of the equipment that they had so that I could see what I was working with. I also wanted to plan out which games I could actually do with the kids. Basketball was definitely one of them, but I could also teach soccer and volleyball to them. I was actually very excited.
Both Patrick and Jane seemed like good people and the youth center felt like a good fit for me. Since coming back, this was the first time that I didn’t feel out of place. Maybe it was due to the fact that I had no previous memories linked to this place. Whatever the reason, I finally felt like myself. That was all that mattered.
While I was waiting for Patrick to finish with the Puppet show, I saw that this seemed more like a second home to most of these kids. They were all so happy and even Brandon after a couple of minutes was able to loosen up. Of course, the poor kid would turn red every time Caroline tried to talk to him, but at least, he didn’t clamp down. The kid might not have a lot of social skills but he had enough courage to come with me. I know that he was probably too scared not to because of my avó. But he’s trying and giving it all he’s got. So would I.
Once I had completed an outline of what I could do with the kids, I gave it to Patrick to get his thoughts on it. He seemed pleased with my suggestions and gave me the keys to the gym right there and then. I am officially responsible for the sports activities of the center. Well, at least until they can get an actual teacher or counselor to volunteer. I tell him that I could start with the 8 to 9-year-olds tomorrow afternoon. Cass’s room is right next to the gym and her windows face both inside and out. I see her once and a while looking out the window to check up on me.
I head back to check on Brandon after I got everything ready for tomorrow. When I get there, I see that most of the kids have gone home and Brandon and Caroline are talking. He looks more comfortable so I decide not to be the third wheel and see if Patrick or Jane still need any help. They ask if I can go into the supply room and see if there’s anything in there that could be useful for me in the gym. They think that there may be some old jerseys there that I could use. The room is not too big but it is crammed with all sorts of stuff. For most people it probably looks like junk, but I can see that the center wastes nothing and appreciates all they are given.
“So your first day went ok?” Cass says, standing in the doorway.
“Yep. I think you’ll be seeing a lot of me from now on.” I tease her.
“Good,” she says. I raise an eyebrow intrigued. “No, not good that I have to put up with you. Good that you liked the place,” she says walking into the room.
“Jeez Cass, thanks for the ego boost.” I sound overly wounded. She just rolls her eyes and I can’t help but grin. She walks closer to me and helps me stack old newspaper on the shelf. It’s the first time I notice that her name tag says C. Mackenzie. “Hum, Mackenzie huh? Is that Irish?”
“Scottish.” She replies not making eye contact.
“I’ve always had a thing for Scottish girls.” I bite my tongue not to laugh.
“Well, I’m only half. My mom’s family is Irish.”
“I’ve always had a thing for Irish girls too.” I tease her.
“Yeah, yeah. I think you have a thing for girls in general!” She dishes out. I give her my most offended look which is rewarded by one of her sweet laughs.
“Don’t look at me like that. You can keep that charm and use it for other unsuspecting victims. I’m completely immune to those blue eyes. So don’t waste your time.”
“Can’t stay immune forever, Cass. I’m just too fucking loveable.” I look up to see her reaction but she’s gone white as a ghost. “Hey Cass, you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just have to get out of here for a second.” Her voice is erratic and her chest is making wheezing sounds that I thought only came out of cats. I rush over to her but she’s already made it to the door on her own.
“What’s wrong? What do you need?” my voice is controlled even though I feel a streak of panicked sweat fall from my face.
“Can you grab my bag from the other room for me? I�
�ll just sit down here for a sec?” Her voice is even more irregular now but she seems calm, like this is an everyday thing for her. I run to the room she had left her book bag in and run back to her. Jane is already by her side offering a glass of water.
“Cass dear, you know that that room is full of dusty old things.” I hear her say. I give Cass her bag and she pulls out an inhaler. She takes two big puffs and I see her chest struggle to inhale and exhale. She takes another two puffs and leans the back of her head on the wall.
“Everything is okay. I’m okay.” She says but her eyes are still closed. Jane puts her hand on her shoulder to verify that Cass is, in fact, alright. Once she sees that she is breathing better, she squeezes Cass’s hand one more time.
“Okay then. Brandon’s mother is at the front desk to pick him up so I’ll just go and show her around for a second. If you need anything let me know ok, Cassandra? And I don’t want to see you in that room again, okay?” Cass gives her a smile and nods and Jane takes this as her cue that it’s okay to leave. With her head still leaning on the wall she turns to look at me. She still has a smile on her face but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“Asthma. It has a mind of its own. Sorry if I freaked you out back there.”
“It’s okay Cass.” I hadn’t realized how fast my heart was beating until I saw that she was back to her usual self. She still looked upset, though. I get it, it must suck to want to do things and be restricted because your body just won’t let you.“It’s not the first time I’ve taken a girl’s breath away,” I say trying to lighten her spirits. She grins and rolls her eyes again at me, so my lame ass comment worked.
The following weeks, my life started to enter into a comfortable routine. Between school, Tio Carlos’ store and the Youth Center, most of my days were pretty full. Friday nights and the weekends were the ones to look out for. I tried to be out of the house as much as possible, by helping my mom out on Saturdays’ at the store or just driving around.