by Cynthia Dane
Alice caught her breath and helped herself to some ice water from a dispenser. She offered some to her husband, but he declined. He never drank from the water dispenser. Only some after-work spirits from the small but always stocked wet bar.
“Do you think your father will do something?”
“I’m sure he’s plotting right now.”
Alice almost choked on her water.
“Don’t worry, my love, we have security. Why do you think I always try to be with you?”
“Says the man who wouldn’t come home with me.”
“If you’re not safe at home, then I give up.”
“I wasn’t safe at my previous home.”
“You didn’t have me living there.” Monroe caught her incredulous look and explained. “My father cares about me first and foremost. You’re his problem. He wants me hale and healthy and married to an A-class woman of his choosing. Somehow I don’t think I broke Ms. Matsuda’s heart, though.”
Alice had completely forgotten about the woman Russell last tried to set his son up with. “She seemed as amused by the prospect as you did.”
Monroe patted his wife’s knee. Today Alice wore a black Givenchy pussy bow blouse and matching pencil skirt. I’m still not used to wearing such high class designers, let alone to work. Since marrying her husband, Alice had one day to go shopping for her new work wardrobe. She hoped things would calm down soon so she could find clothes closer to her tastes.
“He took his toys and went to DC when I presented him with your doctor’s report.” Monroe considered his briefcase left flopped at his feet. “He wants grandchildren almost more than he wants me alive. He’s probably dithering between hating that I married you and grateful I could’ve at least had a bastard child in case I couldn’t get a legitimate one.”
“That’s so archaic.”
“That’s my family.” Monroe could only laugh. “You’re talking about a man who had an arranged marriage in the early ‘80s.”
Alice instinctively clutched her abdomen. The doctor’s note may have been fake, but this conversation gave her unhappy thoughts nonetheless. “Promise me that we’re not doing that to our children.”
“Absolutely not. See how well it went for me?” His hand stiffened on her knee. “Besides, we’ll cross the bridge of our children making terrible life choices when we get to it.”
“Could be sooner rather than later.”
He perked up at that. “Have something you want to share, my love?”
Alice scratched the collar fitting snug beneath the other collar of her blouse. “Too soon to say. It’s only been a week.” A week of so much sex Alice couldn’t even count the occasions now, but still too soon to tell. She didn’t even want to look at the app tracking things on her phone. The word ovulation no longer held any meaning, sort of like fork or antidisestablishmentarianism.
They rode in silence the rest of the way home. Monroe was glued to his phone while Alice rehearsed what she was going to say to her parents.
“Thank you,” she said to the driver, bounding out of the limo as soon as it was safe. Monroe followed behind her, his bodyguard only a pace behind him. The doorman hurried to his post to let Mr. and Mrs. Monroe into the lobby of their secure building. Alice stopped by the front desk, manned by a young man in a navy blue suit, and asked if the Culvers had arrived yet.
“Not that I’ve seen, ma’am.” The young man nodded to Monroe as he went on ahead to the elevator. “I’ll let you know as soon as I have some information.”
“Do so, please.” Alice caught up with her husband, who held the elevator door open.
“Not here, I take it?”
Sighing, Alice took the opportunity to touch up her makeup in the floor to ceiling mirror inside their personal elevator. “No. Gives me time to spruce the place up a bit.”
Not that there was much to spruce up, really. Lissa the servant had cleaned the already spotless penthouse by the time the Monroes came home. No, what Alice meant by sprucing up her own damn home was personalizing it. She had been so busy since moving in that she had no time to add any personal touches… like her family photos. She rushed into the master chambers now, grabbing a small box of items that survived the apartment fire not so long ago. Inside were photos of her graduations, her brother’s birthday party, an old photo of her parents’ wedding, and, her favorite, a picture from over fifteen years ago when she was twelve and her brother a slobbering infant.
These photos were surreptitiously added to a mahogany table stretched behind a leather couch. So much leather in this living room. As soon as Alice had the time, she was doing some real redecorating. Her husband couldn’t mutter “leather!” at the interior designer and be done with it. Alice wanted a plush piece of seating to use once in a while.
“Wow, it looks like I did this at the last minute.” The scent of pot roast wafted in from the chef’s kitchen only a few yards away. “These frames also look super cheap compared to everything else.” No time to fix that now.
Monroe was on his phone again, arranging drinks at La Mariposa for his meeting at four. They both looked at their matching Patek Philippe watches. If the Culvers didn’t show up within half an hour, they’d have to wait to meet the new son-in-law at dinner. He’ll be late to that. Alice had planned for that by saying dinner would be at seven when Monroe had told her he would be home by six.
A voice interrupted any thoughts they may have had.
“Mrs. Monroe,” came the voice of the man downstairs. “Your parents have arrived. Should I send them up?”
Alice opened the app connecting her to the concierge in the lobby. “Yes, please,” she said into her phone. “Make sure they’re escorted. They might get lost. Thank you.” She put her phone away. “Are you ready?” she asked her husband.
He idly looked between her and his phone screen. “Hm? Oh, yes. Let’s get this over with.”
“Get this…” Alice shot him a dire glare. “Pretend to be interested, would you?”
“What?” The elevator beyond the front door dinged. “I am interested. I’m also interested in making it to my meeting on time.”
Fuck your damn meeting. Alice went to intercept her family at the front door.
She didn’t know what to expect from her parents and little brother. Were they back in her old apartment, inviting them over to hang out or to meet a new boyfriend, things would have been very different. For one, they would have been relaxed from the start. Her father Dennis, particularly, would have been more jocular than he was today. Linda? She would have fussed in the kitchen and given Candice every hard time possible trying to figure out what she did for a living. Terrence would at least have felt like he was at home.
The Culvers were a bit more reserved than usual.
Alice’s marriage had been a shock to everyone. When they found out who she married, they were even more shocked. On one hand they wanted to meet the man who gave them so much money and married their daughter. On the other, these were wholesome blue collar people who thought fancy meant having dinner at the lobster shack on a Friday night. To be fair, so did I until a few weeks ago.
There was no denying that the Alice they encountered in the high-rise downtown penthouse was a changed woman. Gone were her jeans and plain T-shirts. The only ponytails Alice Monroe wore were decorated with Hermès scarves and gemstone clasps. Her makeup was expensive and flawless. Her shoes? Deadly. Don’t forget I smell like a billionaire now. It also helped – or didn’t help – that the Monroe gravitas was rubbing off on her. Soon she would be sucking people into her black hole as well as her husband did.
None of that worried Alice as much as them meeting Monroe did. Her mother had seen a glimpse of him before, but she also knew him as the man her daughter threw out of a hospital room. Now they were married!
To their credit, they were as polite as they could be. Both Dennis and Linda shook hands with Monroe, who learned their names immediately and happily welcomed them into the living room. Of course, he then wen
t on to pour alcohol for everyone, and neither of the elder Culvers drank anything but cheap beer. Oops.
Dennis sat carefully on the edge of a couch. His eyes darted around the large, bright room, mentally adding up price tags that were too low to begin with. Linda tried to be comfortable, but when Lissa showed up, offering hot towels before dinner, the Culver matriarch acquired the same delirious look as her husband.
Terrence was the one who made Alice crack.
He had never taken to change well. The Culvers had lived in the same house since he was five, partly because the youngest child could barely handle changing what they had for dinner Tuesday nights, let alone changing schools and houses. If they were visiting a relative, it was best if that relative had the same kind of home environment as the Culvers. Alice could have managed this in her previous residence. Some throw pillows. Worn out carpet. The clacking of dishes and the TV playing reruns. Unfortunately, Alice Monroe lived in a different world.
The boy gawked at everything, from the crystal vases to the huge throw rugs attempting to add warmth to the living room. Once he caught sight of the view overlooking downtown? He was hiding on the couch farthest away from the window. Alice had to hit the button closing the blinds before Terrence had a panic attack.
“This is, uh…” Dennis scratched the back of his balding head as he stared at a huge painting of an orchid that suspiciously looked like a purple vagina. “This sure is fancy, honey.”
Terrence consoled himself with his handheld video game while Linda attempted to make more light conversation. “Your grandmother would’ve loved a place like this. And look at you!” She laughed, uneasily. “Wearing such pretty clothes. What is that? Nordstrom?”
Alice touched the bow hanging on her black blouse. “Givenchy.”
“Who?”
“Jhee-von-shee.” Alice had only known how to pronounce that for about two weeks, but she said it fluently now.
“Well, I don’t know who that is, but the outfit is pretty.”
Monroe looked his father-in-law right in the eye. “Your daughter is a remarkable woman, Mr. Culver. My apologies that I had to marry her so quickly. I didn’t want another man scooping her up before I had the chance.”
Dennis gaped at the man in the Brioni suit and sporting a hundred-dollar touchup cut he got every other week. “Well… might’ve been nice to go to the wedding.”
“We’ll have a ceremony soon,” Alice assured her father. “You will definitely be invited.”
Both of her parents gave her the same look. The “Just tell us you’re pregnant and that’s why you got married” look.
“Unfortunately,” Monroe interjected into everyone’s thoughts, “I have a meeting I must be getting to. It’s a pleasure being formally introduced to everyone. I’ll be back for dinner.”
Only Alice gave him a hearty farewell on his way out the door. When she returned, sitting between her mother and father and listening to the cartoonish sounds of her brother’s video game, she attempted to keep smiling.
“So how did you two meet again?” Linda asked.
“At work.”
“Which work was that?”
Alice cleared her throat. No sense lying. “He was the owner of the last place I worked at.”
“I… see,” Dennis muttered.
“You’ve known each other how long?”
Why did you have to leave, husband? Monroe was the real charmer. He knew how to woo anyone to his side. He had seduced Alice, hadn’t he?
Alice had every reason to be nervous about her parents’ weekend visit. They were about as comfortable as demons in a church, and while nobody voiced their displeasure, their indifference (at best) or outright contempt (at worst) was palpable on the air they all shared.
Monroe coming home at six-thirty did not help matters. He had invited his mother over for dinner as well, and when Julia arrived, Terrence screamed.
Because things aren’t awkward enough as it is!
Linda attempted conversation at the dinner table. However, Monroe was on another planet with his thoughts, and Julia was not used to conversing this much with strangers. It probably did not help that the teenage boy stayed glued to his video games so he wouldn’t have to look at the woman’s deformed face. And nobody was comfortable with the two bodyguards standing behind them. I don’t even notice them anymore. Alice noticed them tonight.
Everyone could agree that the food was fantastic. Lissa had outdone herself – not that Alice had any idea what her cooking usually tasted like – with pot roast and all the trimmings. Julia had brought over Chardonnay, which she and her son discussed at length while everyone else pretended to have any interest. Except for Terrence.
Dennis checked out from dinner to amuse himself with his son. Julia and her son continued to speak of Chardonnay. That left Alice and her mother. That wouldn’t have been bad, except Linda spent most of her time watching how Alice interacted with her husband. I know what you’re doing, Mom.
Alice’s hypothesis was confirmed well after dinner and more drinks, when the Culvers were shown to their guest rooms. Alice followed her parents into their room while Monroe retired to the master chambers. As soon as Dennis had sequestered himself in the bathroom, Linda took her daughter by the arm and brought her over to the bed for a sit.
“Is everything okay?” Linda asked. Oh, no. Here we go.
“Everything is fine, Mom.”
“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure you’re married to a man who got thrown out of your hospital room a while ago.”
“We had a misunderstanding that’s been cleared up now.”
“Okay, but…”
“Everything is fine, Mom.”
Linda kept her lips closed for a few seconds. Someone could not contain herself, however. “I’m worried about you.”
Keep a straight face. Keep a straight face. “There’s nothing to be worried about.”
“How can I believe that?” Linda lowered her voice again. “Honey, before a little while ago, I had never even heard of this man before. I doubt you had, either. Now you’re married to a billionaire and working for his company? Or was it the other way around?”
“It’s complicated.”
Linda took her daughter’s hand. “Are you pregnant, sweetie?”
Maybe. “That’s not why we got married. This may be hard to believe, but Damon and I are in love. It was his idea to get married. Perhaps I should have waited, yes.” She could concede that to her mother. “Except we couldn’t wait much longer due to things going on in his family.”
“Things like what?”
How the hell would she begin to explain such a thing? Could she even do it? Legally, that is? “I can’t really talk about it, but due to how his family’s company is set up, it was a good idea for us to get married as soon as possible.” Total bullshit, but maybe Linda would fall for it.
“Is it some inheritance thing?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” They were definitely trying to inherit the company.
“Well… you’re an adult, sweetie, and you can do what feels right for your life, but please, please be careful. I’ve had a bad feeling for a long time now.”
Just what I need. Well-founded bad feelings. “How’s Dad really taking it?”
“Your father was beside himself when he found out. Took three days to calm him down. I think he’s in a stupor now.”
“If you and Dad need anything…”
“We need you to be happy and safe.” Linda cupped her hands around her daughter’s face. “I always dreamed of you getting married. Just not like this.”
“I know, Mom.” Alice tried not to get teary-eyed. “This has been a lot for me to deal with as well. But I promise you, I’m fine. Damon is a great husband, even if it may be hard to tell. He’s very closed off with people.”
“Except for you, right?”
Alice smiled. “Yes.”
“I’m sure you’ve made a good choice, Alice. It will take us a while to get used to
all the… changes.”
Alice rubbed her mother’s arm. “I’m still adjusting too.”
This talk did not put Alice into a good mood, though. After she said goodnight to her mother and went to the master chambers, the first thing she did was go to the liquor stash and raid her husband’s favorite whisky.
“Thirsty?” Monroe asked from the bed. He was sprawled across it, jacket and vest on the floor and tie hanging loosely across his chest.
Alice went to him, glass in hand. She hated the taste and the burn of this stuff, but had come around to why her husband always had a shot sometime between dinner and bed. We need it. Alice downed the spirits within three seconds. “Parched,” she gasped.
Monroe sat up, staring at the empty glass. “Not sure you should be drinking, my love.”
“I can do as I please until I have a reason to think otherwise.” She scoffed. “Why? You telling me I can’t drink any more… sir?”
“Like you said. You can do as you please.” Monroe plucked the glass from her hand and went to get his own shot of liquor.
Alice waited for her husband to return, a hint of whisky on his breath. “I can do as I please. Right now I want to be with my husband.” She tugged on his tie. It slipped off his shirt as if it had never been there to begin with.
“You do, huh?” Monroe tossed the empty glass onto their bed so he could embrace his wife. “Fancy that. I was thinking the same thing. About my wife, that is.”
“Yes, and I want to do it my way this time.”
“My, my. You’ve only been in my family for a couple of weeks and you’re already turning into a control freak.”
“Takes one to know one.”
He chuckled. “How does my princess want to do it tonight?”
Well, for one thing, let’s take into account that my parents are here. Didn’t matter how soundproofed the master chambers were. Still weird. “In the shower.”
“Oh, I needed a shower anyway.”
“And I need one now.” Alice pulled away, taking him by the hand. “A dirty shower.”
“I can’t think of a better way to take a shower, my love.”
Ironically, Alice didn’t feel as dirty as she wanted in the shower. Rather hard to do so when she now associated everything they did as husband and wife as nothing but pure and lovely.