by Aly Martinez
“What?” I breathe as fear starts to course through my body. Suddenly, I’m awake and frantically searching his face for answers.
“Shhh.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I won’t leave you, Lace. Calm down, okay?” he soothes me. He rubs his thumb back and forth across my cheek until my breathing evens out. “You just have to stop punishing me like that, or…”
“Or what? You say you won’t leave, so what is the or?”
“Jesus, Lace. Just stop doing it and I won’t have to figure it out.”
Suddenly, it hits me. I’ve never asked him the one question that brought us together. “What’s your biggest fear, Mason?”
“You.”
My head snaps up with his answer, realizing the weight of his words. “Me?”
“Well, more like losing you to Hunter. But yeah. You.” He shrugs then leans down to kiss my forehead.
“Mason…” I try to find words. Is he afraid Hunter and I will leave him? I can relate to that. But somehow I know it’s more.
“Go back to sleep, Lace. Please just stop using him against me.”
I scoot up the bed, resting my head on his pillow instead of my usual spot on his chest. I want to see him and be able to kiss his face. Even if it’s not his lips, it’s the closest he will give me. I pepper kisses across his cheek. He offers me a sad smile and rolls on his side to face me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, staring at his mouth.
“Go to sleep, Lace.”
“I’m yours right now. In this second, I’m completely yours. You can kiss me, Mason.”
He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “Go to sleep, Lace,” he repeats, rejecting me like he always does. I begin to roll away, when his words flash into my mind.
I freeze, willing myself to stay still before offering him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, habit.”
“It’s okay,”
“I’ll try harder.”
He nods and drops his forehead to mine. “It just scares me. Every time you roll into his arms, I think it’s more than just a simple action. I worry that it’s a final choice.”
I’m shocked by his admission. He’s exposing a lot of himself tonight. That’s not exactly something Mason does often.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just thought it just made you mad. I was being a brat. That’s all.”
“You really are a brat sometimes.” He lets out a small chuckle.
I lean forward, gently kissing his face, careful to avoid his lips so not to cause any more problems. As much as I want to kiss him, I want him to want to kiss me too.
“Mason, how do you see this whole thing ending?” I ask. I can’t help but think about the end. No matter how good this may be now, there is always an end. I’m in too deep with these guys, and this isn’t a lifestyle that can be maintained.
“I told you I won’t leave you, Lacey. So when and how this ends will have to be your decision.”
I know he means those words to be reassuring to me. He wants me to know that I’m safe with him, but they only make me panic. I won’t be able to leave Mason, but I can’t truly be with him either. I move to hide my face in his neck. I won’t cry, but I’m terrified of what I’ll say if stare into his eyes for even a minute longer.
“I liked you better up here. I hate not being able to see you.” He slides down the bed, bringing us once again nose to nose. I close my eyes to hide from the emotions.
A few minutes later, I fall asleep wrapped securely in his arms. If only I could have stayed awake a few minutes longer, I would have felt his lips brush mine for the very first time.
“HUNTER!” I SCREAM AS we walk into the restaurant on Friday night.
“What?” He tries to pretend that he didn’t just shove his entire arm up my dress. I have got to start wearing pants more often.
“Stop.” I bat his arm away.
“You didn’t say stop this morning.” He laughs, throwing an arm around my shoulders.
“No, but if you keep it up, I will tonight.”
He laughs louder. Leaning down, he kisses my hair and whispers, “Liar.”
We walk hand in hand into the restaurant. Mason got here ahead of us. He was over at the college helping some of the students prep for a big show next weekend. He’s already sitting in the booth when I slide in on the opposite side. Hunter slides in beside me.
“Hey, Mase.” I smile, and he gives me a subtle lip twitch, which I’ve learn is the equivalent of a full-blown smile for Mason.
In the two months since this whole arrangement started, Mason has always stuck to the ‘no touching in public’ rule. Everyone thinks I’m with Hunter, and I know that bothers him. Especially when someone flat-out calls me Hunter’s girlfriend. I used to correct them, but as time passed, it just got annoying. Thankfully, Hunter doesn’t push it. He never introduces me as his girlfriend. I’m always just Lacey. Except to Mason.
“Hey, Lace.”
“Do y’all realize your little nicknames rhyme? Did you two plan that without me?” Hunter jokes.
“We sure did, asshole. That first night, we stayed up late trying to find the most nauseating rhyming pet names possible just to leave you out. It took you long enough to notice,” Mason says sarcastically and winks over at me. Not just any wink either. It’s a sexy-as-hell, playful wink from Mason ‘stone face’ Wynn. Midnight Mason just made a daytime appearance, and I can’t hide my excitement at seeing him.
I lift my legs and stretch them across the booth, resting them in his lap. I fully expect him to push them away, but I guess the table blocking this little display of affection is enough for him, because he reaches down and gently strokes my bare legs. Something so simple, but it makes me giddy. I let out school girl giggle. Mason’s eyes flash to mine as a full-on grin sneaks across his lips. He tries to hide it by looking down and shaking his head, but I saw it. It’s now permanently etched into my memory. And that memory might just be my newest prized possession.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” I say, still laughing. “Order me that salad thingy I got last week. Oh, and I’m feeling frisky. How about a double rum and Coke tonight?” Hunter stands to let me out of the booth. Just as I hit the bathroom doors, someone gently grabs my arm.
“Lacey.”
I turn to see Sean ‘douchebag’ Lee. Of course! It seems I can’t go anywhere without running into stupid people these days.
“What the fuck!” I say under my breath. “Hey, Sean.” I paint on a fake smile, hoping desperately to avoid drama tonight. Both guys are in a good mood, and Mason flirting is enough to keep me happy for weeks. I’m determined that this piece of shit is not going to ruin this for me.
“Can we talk?”
“I’m going to say no.” I turn to walk into the women’s room.
“Lacey, please. I’m sorry. Just give me a minute. I miss Abby.” His shame-filled eyes flash to the ground. I don’t feel one bit of sympathy for him. Instead, it just pisses me off.
“Well guess what, Sean? I miss her too. I haven’t spoken to Abby in three fucking years. Or my mom or my dad. And you want to know why? Because you are a lying bastard who not only fucked my sister over by coming on to me, but you fucked me over by spewing bullshit lies to every member of my family. Sure, they are fucking idiots to have believed you, but you did this to yourself. I hope you miss Abby. I hope it eats away at you nightly. Because it sure as shit does me.” I turn and walk away back toward the guys.
Fucking shit. I’m going to cry. I haven’t cried in years, but on what started out as an amazing night, no matter how hard I try to fight it, tears spring to my eyes. I get close to the table, and hear the guys laughing together. Hunters back is toward me as I approach, but Mason’s eyes meet mine and immediately slide to concern. Hunter must read his expression, because he quickly turns around.
“Are you okay?” Hunter jumps to his feet, pulling me into a hug.
“Can we go?” Tears battle against my lids for release.
“Lacey, I’m sorry.” I he
ar Sean approach from behind me. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
I turn my head into Hunter’s chest, away from Sean, I don’t want to give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. My eyes lock with Mason’s. He’s still sitting in the booth, but the look of confusion and concern lingers on his face.
“Who the hell are you?” I hear Hunter say while gently stroking my back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset her. My name is Sean Lee.” He must have extended a hand, because Hunter’s hand briefly leaves my back.
“Sean?” Mason quietly asks me.
I nod. “Can we go?” I repeat, but I’m reasonably sure Mason didn’t hear me. He suddenly dives out of the booth, launching a fist directly into Sean’s face.
“You son of a bitch!” he yells as Sean falls over a table to the ground.
The entire restaurant explodes around us. Hunter releases me, frantically trying to grab Mason before he has a chance to punch Sean again. Waiters and customers rush over to try to break up the fight.
Hunter wraps his arms around Mason in a bear hug, shouting for him to calm down. Mason’s eyes are wild, and it takes several seconds for him to stop fighting against Hunter’s grasp.
“You good?” Hunter asks, never releasing him.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Let me go.”
“If I let you go, you’re not going to hit him again, right?”
“Fucking let me go. I’m done!” he yells.
Hunter releases him then glances around the room. A few onlookers have stepped up to help Sean, who is sitting on the floor with blood pouring from his nose.
“Take Lacey and go home. I’ll meet you there in a few.” Hunter says, gently pushing me toward the door.
Mason silently walks over to me. I’m frozen, stunned by what just when down. I hate fights, but decking Sean in the face is something I have wanted to do for years. A small laugh bubbles from my chest as Mason very publicly pulls me into his arms.
“You okay?” He kisses the top of my head. My small laugh turns into a full fit of laughter as Mason drags me outside.
“Oh my God, Mase. That was amazing.”
He glances down at me for a second before he begins to chuckle as well. “I’m glad you approve.”
“Approve? I’d kiss you right now…ya know, if we did that.” I laugh even louder.
By the time we get to Mason’s truck, we are both doubled over in hysterics.
“Damn, that felt good!” He opens and closes his fist.
“I didn’t take you for a fighter.”
“I’m not usually, but that guy needed it. And I wanted you to have it.”
“Have it?” I ask confused. We both climb into his truck before he continues.
“When I was fourteen, my dad beat the shit out of me when I forgot to fill the horses water trough. I called Mr. Coy, and he came over. Only this time, he didn’t just pick me up like usual. He stormed into the house and beat the ever-living shit out of my dad. It should have scared me, but it felt so fucking good watching someone, even if it wasn’t me, give it back to him. It might make me an asshole, but ever since you told me about that fuck-face, I wanted you to have that moment too.” His words make my smile fade, but they warm me on the inside.
“Thank you.” I slide across the truck, kissing up his neck.
“You’re welcome, Lace.”
He grabs my face with both hands and stares at me for a second. I try to mentally urge him to kiss me, but at the last second, he leans over, placing a meaningful kiss to my forehead.
“Let’s go home.” He releases me and starts the truck.
“Yeah. Let’s go home.” I lean my head against his shoulder as he heads towards his loft.
ON SATURDAY NIGHT, THE three of us decide to hit the club. I want to dance, and the guys more than happily agreed to entertain me. I might have promised a private show once we got home in order to persuade them, but really, I would have done that anyway.
“What are you drinking tonight, sugar?” Hunter asks when we walk hand in hand into the club. As usual, he hasn’t released me since he picked me up. Mason walks behind us, stoic as ever.
“Just beer please,” I smile up as he leans down to take my mouth into a heated kiss.
Mason has been weird tonight. He’s been watching us more than normal, and that says something, because he’s always watching. I think he must still be pissy about the little spat he had with Hunter at the barn over the price of hay. The guys have been at each other’s throats recently. I’m not sure what’s going on, but thankfully it doesn’t usually cross over into our relationship—I mean, arrangement. Tonight, however, Mason’s angry gaze has been aimed in my direction more than once. I’m sure we will talk tonight, so for now I let it go.
“How ‘bout you?” Hunter nods to Mason.
“I can get my own goddamn drink,” he growls as he storms past Hunter to the bar.
“Can you go blow him? Maybe see if that will put him in a better mood. He’s been an asshole all week. If he keeps this shit up, I’m either going to punch him or take you home and leave his ass here.”
“One, you’re not punching him. Two, you’re not taking me anywhere without him. And three, I’ll see what I can do about getting him in a better mood.” I wink and start to follow Mason to the bar. Before I even make it three steps, Hunter grabs my arm.
“I’ve changed my mind. He can be a dick all he wants, and I’ll take the blowjob to help me put up with him.” He smiles down while shamelessly grabbing my ass and pulling me into his body.
I love the way Hunter can’t keep his hands off me. He’s gorgeous, and every woman here is looking at him, but he treats me as if I’m the only woman in the room. Hunter is easy and fun. He’s attentive, thoughtful, and horny as hell. Just the way I like him. But tonight, it’s clear to us both that Mason needs a little extra attention.
“I promise that, when we get home tonight, I’ll make it very interesting for you,” I say, pushing to my toes to lick his lips.
“Is it time to leave yet?” he teases, nibbling on my bottom lip.
“Hell no. I’ve got some booty shaking to do first.” I shake my ass, causing him to laugh before giving it a playful slap.
I walk away, searching for Mason when my eyes land on him chatting up a tall blonde at the bar. Gone is the pissed-off man from earlier, and in his place is a man I barely recognize. He’s laughing and toasting a shot with his new supermodel gal-pal.
I’m about to lose my fucking mind. I can feel the rage and jealousy bubbling in my veins, but for a moment, I stand in awe of the man—my man—standing in front of me with a breathtaking smile on his face. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.
Obviously, I’m not the only one who feels that way, because Blondie sways toward him like she is being pulling by a magnet. She gently rests her hands on his abs, and that’s all it takes for the fire inside me to explode.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I shout at Mason when I reach him.
“Um…” He stands, stunned, with his second shot held to his fucking perfect lips. Perfect lips that have still never touched mine. “Drinking?” he says without any trace of attitude.
“Okay, so maybe my question should be who the fuck are you drinking with?” There is no mistaking the accusation in my tone.
“Lacey, this is—” he starts but I interrupt.
“Clearly you have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. Maybe I should have said why the fuck are you drinking with her?” I can tell he’s taken aback by my attitude, and a small, knowing smile curves his lips.
“Wow. This is an interesting shade of green on you,” he smarts off, enjoying every second of this.
“Fuck you. I was on my way over here to suck you off in order to put you in a better mood, but apparently someone beat me to it.” I flash a bitchy smirk to Blondie. She’s just standing there confused and maybe even a little disgusted.
“Aren’t you Hunter’s girlfriend?”
My face fal
ls when I realize that I just outed us all, but regret never was my thing. I plaster back on a fake smile and pointedly look at Mason.
“Yes! Yes, I am.”
“No, she isn’t,” Mason quickly answers behind me while leveling me with a challenging stare.
I rise to my toes, returning his stare, and very calmly throw my final blow. “Oh, I am most definitely his girlfriend.” It may not be the whole truth, but it’s definitely not a lie. I quickly turn to walk away before the anger has a chance to subside.
I know what I just did. I used Hunter against him—again. And the jealousy that was only moments ago coursing through my veins has quickly turned into ice cold fear. I just gave Mason an out to leave me, and it’s more than I can stomach. I look around, frantically searching for the bathrooms. I don’t need Hunter to see the emotional breakdown I know is coming. He never strays far from my side, but maybe, just this one time, I can escape his watchful eyes. I lower my head and rush toward the illuminated exit sign above the back door.
I break out into the warm night air just as the emotions overtake my body. I begin to hyperventilate and tears spill from my eyes. Resting a hand against the wall, I try to regain control over my traitorous body.
“Take it back.” I suddenly hear Mason’s voice behind me.
“I’m sorry,” I squeak out as I continue to fall apart in front of him.
“Don’t apologize. Fucking, take it back. ” He makes no move to comfort me. It’s just a stone cold demand.
“Mason, I…” I want to take it all back. I just can’t catch my damn breath long enough to explain. I want to fall into his arms and explain to him how much he means to me. How the very idea of not being with him causes this type of overwhelming physical reaction. I want to make him feel even half as safe he makes me feel. But all of those things only shoot my panic up a notch. I’m too scared to be with him, but I can’t breathe without him.
“So this is how you choose to end it, Lace, huh? With a stupid fucking fit of jealousy? You know, I actually thought that part was cute. It’s about fucking time you showed some sort of feelings for me. You spend your days fawning over him, and I get one, maybe two, lousy hours each night after he fucks you.” He pauses for a beat then snatches off his hat, slamming it to the ground. “God damn it!” he screams at the top of his lungs. “So here it is. You’re Hunt’s girl now?”