by K. S. Ruff
“I’m driving!” Kadyn and Jase shouted as one. They slapped their driver’s licenses on the counter at the exact same time.
Rafael laughed. “We have to head out. We’re supposed to meet Father Ramires in Sintra at ten o’clock. We’ll be back in time for dinner.”
I gave each of them a hug. “Have fun.” I linked arms with Rafael as we stepped through the automatic doors. “We’re meeting Father Ramires in Sintra?”
He strode toward the parking garage. “He wants to see our wedding venue. We’ll plan the ceremony while we’re there. Do you have your workbook on you?”
I nodded toward the computer bag he’d slung over his shoulder. “Right there.”
He slowed, allowing my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting in the garage. “Good. Nervous?”
I squeezed his bicep. “No. I’m excited to see Monserrate Palace again. Can we stop by the hotel while we’re in Sintra?”
The lights flashed on his car. “That’s precisely what I was thinking. We need to firm up the menu for the rehearsal dinner.” He reached for the passenger door, then boxed me in against the Porsche. “Maybe we should reserve a room.”
My hands slid over his well sculpted chest before linking behind his neck. “Sounds good. We could order room service and sample their food.”
His eyes fell to my lips. “Only if I’m allowed to feed you in bed.” His lips brushed against mine.
My eyes slid closed while I savored Rafael’s warmth and his spicy cologne. “I’ve missed this… and you.”
He kissed the Cupid’s bow at the top of my mouth before pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. Gently, he bit down.
My eyes flew open.
The full length of his body pinned me against the Porsche. With hooded eyes, he fit his lips to mine. His tongue swept through my mouth, plundering every crevice. He stroked, tempted, and teased; drugging me with deep, intoxicating kisses until my knees weakened.
Rafael stepped back. An inch. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to get carried away. I don’t think I could look Father Ramires in the eye if we… you know… right before our meeting.” He planted a chaste kiss on my cheek. “I’ll make it up to you when we get to the hotel.” He helped me into the Porsche before climbing into his seat.
I took a deep breath and slowly released it.
Rafael’s hand raked through his hair. He glanced at me worriedly, and we both burst out laughing.
I relaxed into the buttery soft seats. “What time did you get off work last night?”
He slid the key into the ignition. “I didn’t get home until three o’clock this morning. Did you sleep on the plane?”
“A little. Not much.” I felt fatigued more often than not. I would have thought I’d be sleeping better after securing the grant, but I tossed and turned when I slept alone. I missed sleeping with Rafael.
He eased out of the parking garage. “Did you submit your midterm papers?”
I breathed a small sigh of relief. “Yes. I’m done with midterms. I just need to get through this training in Sierra Leone so I can start writing my final papers. I’d like to submit my remaining coursework early, so I can focus on our wedding.”
“Once we firm up the menu for the rehearsal dinner, we’re done. Everything else has already been taken care of.” He turned onto the highway.
“I know it’s your birthday, but I’d like to go shopping tomorrow. I want to find amethyst earrings and necklaces for my bridesmaids. Have you thought about what you’re giving the groomsmen for their gifts?”
He looked thoughtful. “Monogrammed cufflinks?”
I nodded my approval. “I’d like to take you out to dinner tomorrow night, just the two of us, so we can celebrate your birthday.”
The Porsche sped by the post-apocalyptic looking buildings that dotted the outskirts of town. “What about Kadyn and Jase?”
“I’ve already warned them. I want you all to myself tomorrow night.” I tried not to smile over the little white lie.
“Would you like me to make a reservation?”
“Nope. I’ve already made a reservation,” I answered smugly.
Comforted by his presence, I drifted off to sleep.
* * * * *
“Wake up, sleepy head.”
“Ten more minutes,” I pleaded without opening my eyes.
“The sooner we meet with Father Ramires, the sooner we can head to the hotel,” he stated enticingly.
My eyes opened on a sigh. “I need coffee.” I rifled through the computer bag so I could retrieve my workbook.
“I’ll see if I can scrounge some up.” Sadly, Monserrate Palace didn’t have a café or a restaurant like Pena Palace. Rafael unfolded himself from the car. He strode to the passenger side, tugged the door open, and extended his hand. “Milady.”
Now how could I be grumpy with that? “Why thank you, kind sir.” I smiled and reached for his hand.
Rafael popped the hood so he could retrieve his workbook, a blanket, picnic basket, and thermos from the trunk.
“Brunch,” I gushed. “I just fell in love with you all over again!”
He tucked the thermos and our workbooks inside the picnic basket before slinging the blanket over his arm. “I thought we could picnic by the pond.”
Father Ramires was leaning against one of the columns overlooking the pond. He was wearing the same white collar, black shirt, black jacket, and pants he wore the first time we met him. He looked remarkably at peace when he clasped our hands. “Rafael, Kristine, it’s wonderful to see you again.” His eyes swept over the expansive grounds. “You have chosen a beautiful wedding venue.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind performing the ceremony so early in the morning?” I inquired worriedly.
“Not at all,” Father Ramires assured me. “Now tell me, where do you envision the ceremony?”
We walked toward the front of the palace while Rafael explained. “We’d like to be married in front of the fountain. There’s a trail hidden behind those trees where Kristine and her bridesmaids can move unseen from the back of the palace, so they can enter behind our guests once everyone is seated. The palace staff have arranged for the women to dress in a room near the back of the palace. We don’t want to see each other before the wedding, so the groomsmen and I have been assigned a room near the front. We’ll enter from the staircase on the left.”
He stopped in front of the fountain. “Will your father be escorting you down the aisle?”
Rafael and I hadn’t really discussed this. “My parents are attending the wedding, and we’re marrying with their consent, but I’d like to walk down the aisle by myself since I’m the one giving Rafael my heart.”
Father Ramires smiled. “The question of who gives away the bride is not permitted in a Catholic ceremony even when the bride’s father escorts her down the aisle. We believe the bride and groom should give themselves to one another of their own free will, not at the will of others. So I admire your decision to walk down the aisle by yourself.”
Rafael beamed. “So do I.”
He quietly considered the two of us. “Would you like to receive communion during the ceremony?”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I didn’t think I could receive communion in the Catholic Church.” I joined Father Ramires’s church as a non-Catholic member when we met last month. Although our beliefs were closely aligned, I was still Lutheran, not Catholic.
He patted my arm reassuringly. “You are a member of my flock, and we share the same shepherd. As long as you fast and make your confessions before the wedding, you can both receive communion during the ceremony.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “That would mean the world to me.” I never shared communion with my first husband or with Michael, both of whom were Catholic. This would be a first for me, and I loved that it was happening with Rafael.
Rafael wrapped his arm around me. “We would cherish the opportunity.”
Father Ramires noted the picnic basket and the blanket still dangling from Rafael�
��s arm. He started toward the pond. “You should stop by the church a couple of days before the ceremony so that I may receive your confessions and offer the sacrament of reconciliation. Have you been praying together?”
I smiled. “Every night… unless one of us is on an overnight flight. I really treasure that time with Rafael. Since we’re apart more often than not, it sheds light on the issues troubling his heart.”
Rafael held my arm as we made our way down the stairs. “I enjoy praying when we’re together. I believe it has strengthened our relationship with one another and with God.”
“Praying always does.” Father Ramires led us across the large swath of lawn.
Rafael spread the blanket near the edge of the pond. We settled onto the blanket while he dug through the picnic basket. He pulled three coffee mugs, pastries, and a container of berries from the basket.
Father Ramires reached for our hands. We bowed our heads as he led us in prayer. “Bless us, Heavenly Father, and these thy gifts we are about to receive for the nourishment of our bodies. Through Christ our Lord we pray. Amen.”
“Amen,” Rafael and I repeated.
I pulled the thermos from the picnic basket.
“May I?” Father Ramires nodded toward the workbooks. “Were there any sections that proved troublesome?”
“Not really.” Rafael handed him the workbooks. “That section on managing finances proved very useful. We’ve opened two joint accounts, one in Portugal and one in the United States. We’ve already added one another as beneficiaries for our investments, retirement plans, and life insurance policies. I still need to add Kristine as a joint owner for my properties.”
I poured each of them a cup of coffee. “We still need wills.”
“Benjamim can help us with that.” Rafael handed me a white pastry bag filled with natas.
Father Ramires pulled a ham and cheese croissant from the other bag. “Have you made any decisions regarding children?”
“We’re tentatively planning on three, but we’re willing to consider more if the opportunity presents itself.” I set two natas on my napkin before passing the bag to Rafael.
“You have agreed to raise your children Catholic.” Father Ramires picked at his croissant while reviewing our handwritten responses.
“Our children will be baptized and complete the required sacraments in the Catholic Church,” Rafael confirmed.
Father Ramires quietly considered our work. “Very well, then. There are a few matters I would like you to take under advisement before we discuss your wedding vows and practice the ceremony.”
Rafael and I exchanged glances.
“I would like you to attend church whether together or apart. I would like you to keep praying together, and I would like you to read the Bible together. This will strengthen your relationship with one another and with God.” Father Ramires took a deep breath and blew it out. “This may not be an issue for you, since you live so far apart, but I would be remiss if I did not advise you to abstain from sex. Please honor one another by waiting until you are fully united in the sacrament of marriage.”
My cheeks heated while Rafael’s face sheeted white. Our plans to reserve a room were promptly tossed aside.
* * * * *
Rafael eyed the black satin sheets uncomfortably. “Maybe I should sleep on the couch.”
I joined him on the other side of the bed. “We can still hold one another. We’re fully capable of sleeping together and abstaining from sex.”
His eyes softened as he gently caressed my face. “I’m so sorry, Kristine. I should have respected you instead of seducing you like some desperate fool. Will you forgive me for treating you so poorly?”
“You haven’t treated me poorly. You’ve treated me like gold. Everything we’ve done, I’ve done willingly. I regret that we didn’t wait, but I shoulder that blame.” I planted a kiss in the center of his hand when he cupped my face. “Of course, I forgive you, but I must ask that you forgive me too. I never meant to hurt you or to demean our relationship with my indiscretions.”
Rafael pulled me into his arms. “I hardly think that requires my forgiveness when Kadyn and Michael came before me. You haven’t hurt me, and you haven’t sullied our relationship. Our relationship is everything I dreamed of and more.”
I swallowed. Hard. “I crossed the line with Maxim. Can you forgive that?”
His eyes captured and held mine. “I’ll admit, your willingness to put up with his advances has hurt at times. I understand there were some extenuating circumstances. Still, it means a lot that you would ask my forgiveness for this. Yes. I forgive you, Kristine.”
I sank against his chest. “Thank you.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Sleep well, my love.”
My jaw dropped when he strode from the room.
With a soft click, the door slid closed.
* * * * *
My nose twitched. I smelled bacon, coffee, and something I couldn’t quite put my finger on… something… floral? My eyes popped open. A stunning display of white roses and fresh lavender filled a crystal vase on the nightstand. A white envelope lie propped against the vase. I broke the seal and read the inscription.
Kristine, there is no me without you… for every last one of my dreams, my hopes, and heart reside in you. Happy anniversary, my love. Always and forever, Rafael.
The handwriting blurred. I’d been so immersed in work, in school, and Maxim’s pipeline that I’d completely forgotten Rafael’s birthday marked our one year anniversary.
I fell back against the bed. Pinpointing our anniversary wasn’t easy. Rafael served as my bodyguard before we even met. We became friends, and then? Our relationship evolved into something far more difficult to comprehend. He breathed life into me after the attempted drowning. He served as my guardian angel while I mourned the loss of my child. He fell in love with me long before I fell in love with him. Still, he denied his feelings. He encouraged Michael to mend our relationship because he thought it would make me happy. After waiting five months, he decided he’d had enough.
One year ago today, Rafael confessed his love for me. He staked his claim on my heart. Dating proved tumultuous. Michael’s death nearly ripped us apart. Rafael pieced together my broken heart, and yet here we were living an ocean apart. Like angry waves during a violent storm, life kept throwing us together and tearing us apart.
Still, my guardian angel, who was really a knight, was commandeering a palace where he planned to make me his wife, all while slaying the monsters who preyed on vulnerable children at the Casa Pia Orphanage. Violence and tragedy marred our pasts, but Rafael was still fighting for the happy ending that all fairytale romances promised. What gift could I possibly give to a man like that?
If the smell of bacon was any indication, Rafael was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. Kadyn and Jase were staying with us, and Rafael’s surprise birthday party was less than twelve hours away. I sifted through some extremely limited options before settling on an anniversary gift that Rafael might consider romantic and thoughtful. I texted Eva, followed up with a phone call, and breathed a small sigh of relief when it actually proved feasible. I buried my nose in the fragrant bouquet and forced myself from bed.
Kadyn and Jase were sitting at the breakfast bar. They were deeply engrossed in a conversation about Sierra Leone when I padded into the kitchen. Rafael was facing the stove, so I planted a kiss in the center of his back. “Thank you for the flowers.”
He turned and folded me in his arms. “Happy anniversary.”
I rolled onto my tiptoes so I could kiss him on the lips. “Happy birthday. Do you have to work today?”
He shook his head. “No. I need to pack for Sierra Leone. Other than that, I’m free. Would you like to go shopping?”
“Maybe,” I conceded. We still had to purchase gifts for our groomsmen and our bridesmaids. “I would like to treat you to a heated stone massage at eleven o’clock if you’re free.”
His eyes sparked with inte
rest. “Will you be joining me?”
I nodded.
He grinned. “I’m all in then.”
I stole a piece of bacon when Rafael began scrambling the eggs.
“You’re not arguing?” Jase inquired over the top of his coffee.
I nearly choked on the bacon. “Why would we be arguing?”
He jerked his head toward the living room. “Why else would Rafael sleep on the couch?”
Kadyn’s eyebrows rose.
I laughed as Rafael and I exchanged glances. “Rafael doesn’t want to sleep with me before we’re married.”
Jase looked stunned. “But…”
“Father Ramires has advised otherwise,” Rafael answered drily.
Jase rubbed his prickly jaw. “Where are you going to sleep in Sierra Leone?”
Rafael groaned. Judging from the pained expression on his face, he hadn’t thought that through.
I topped off his coffee. “Surely, we can share a room.”
He bit his bottom lip.
My eyes widened. “There are two beds in the room.”
“I can share a room and not sleep with her,” Jase offered, “so you don’t… you know... burn in hell.”
Kadyn snorted orange juice out of his nose.
* * * * *
Rafael gaped at me. “Guilty? There’s a restaurant named Guilty within a stone’s throw of my flat? How could I not know that?”
I scanned the storefronts, searching for the sign. “Because it’s new. Eva claims the chef is famous… someone named Olivier.”
Rafael slowed. “Chef Olivier as in Olivier da Costa?”
I smiled. “Yes. That’s it. Have you heard of him?”
Rafael laughed. “Yes. Chef Olivier is one of the most successful restaurateurs in Lisbon. His food is phenomenal.”
My smile widened. “Good, then we’re in for a real treat.” I admired his attire from the corner of my eye. Rafael was wearing black slacks, a crisp white dress shirt sans tie, and a brand new pair of Italian dress shoes. He looked like he stepped off the cover of GQ Magazine with his five o’clock shadow and his lightly tousled hair. I was wearing a black cocktail dress with lace bolero sleeves and heels that were way too high for me. The stiletto heels had proven downright treacherous against the tiny mosaic tiles that formed the sidewalk, which is why Rafael maintained a death grip on me.