Tears were running down my face, and sobs were caught in my throat, as she said, “And, well, it turns out that I’m pregnant.”
“Wait,” I said, my brain trying to catch up. I had been so sure that she was going to hit me with some sort of death sentence or life-threatening illness. I was already jumping into mother mode, making mental lists of doctors I needed to call, friends I needed to consult. “You’re pregnant and you’re dying?”
She looked at me like I was dense. “No, Mom. I’m great. I’m not dying. I’m not even sick. My blood work was amazing. I’m just pregnant. Only pregnant.”
There was a knock on the front door. “Not now,” I said, but obviously not loud enough, because Kyle’s voice called, “Emerson!”
I put my finger up to my mouth, but Caroline called, “In here.”
I gave her a look. Well, this was great. I had so many questions. Did Mark know? Were they going to get married now? Was she coming back home? How many weeks was she? Could she still work?
“I’m so sorry, Emerson,” he said. “I shouldn’t have flown off the handle like that. I’m happy for you and Mark; I really am. I had forty-six days to really work myself up, and it came at you all at once.”
Now I was really confused.
Emerson looked at Caroline and then at Sloane. Sloane just shrugged, and I knew something else was coming.
“Kyle, I need you to sit down,” Emerson said.
He crossed his arms. “I will not sit down.”
She touched his arm gently and said, very slowly, “The baby isn’t Mark’s.”
Oh, this was great. Just great. Now I was going to be on Jerry Springer. I had never used this expression in my whole life, but I was going to wring that child’s neck. I absolutely was.
This look of realization came over Kyle’s face that was totally lost on me. “Oh, my God,” he said. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Emerson nodded. I was so confused. “Look,” she said, “I don’t expect anything from you. You deserve to know, but this doesn’t have to change your life in any way—”
I was finally catching on. “What?” I practically spat. “You and Kyle are having a baby?”
“Well—I mean—” Emerson stammered. “I am having a baby. It’s up to Kyle how involved he wants to be.”
“Oh, my Lord,” Sloane said. “That is going to be the world’s most beautiful baby.”
“What?” I asked again. “How?”
Caroline was saying, “Well, Mom, a boy and a girl meet, and they fall in love,” as Emerson said, “You took my wedding, Mom. I was sad. It’s a legitimate thing.”
“Oh, so this is my fault?”
“Hold up,” Kyle said, raising his voice above the chatter just as Jack walked in and said, “What is going on?”
Kyle took Emerson’s hand and said, “Would it be all right with you if we maybe discussed this privately?”
“It would save so much time if you would discuss it with all of us,” Caroline said.
“Yeah,” Sloane agreed. “Plus, things always get lost in translation.”
Emerson glared at them and followed Kyle out the door.
Jack repeated, “What is going on?”
“Let’s see,” I said. “Emerson is pregnant, and Kyle is, apparently, the father.” Then I turned to Caroline. “Did you know about this?”
Jack opened the fridge and poured half a bottle of wine into a glass and handed it to me.
“Thank you, love.”
“Well, I mean, I knew yesterday. Yeah.”
“But did you know about the two of them?”
Sloane and Caroline shared a glance. Sometimes it drove me insane how they all seemed to be talking to one another without saying anything, like they had some secret language that they used to decide what poor, crazy Mom was privy to.
“Yes,” they said simultaneously.
“But Ansley, come on,” Jack said. “You can’t be surprised. I mean, the guys at coffee have been talking about how those two belong together since the day Emerson came back to town.”
I rolled my eyes. “Really, Jack? The guys at coffee? I think I know my daughter a little better than the guys at coffee.”
“Well . . .” Caroline said. “The guys at coffee know it all, Mom. It’s not something against you. No one can compete with their wealth of knowledge.”
“And you,” I said, pointing at Caroline.
“Whoa,” she said, putting her hands up. “Emerson is pregnant and you’re mad at me?”
“Can you explain why every time I ask my car voice control to ‘Call Caroline,’ it responds, ‘Finding nearest fitness center’?” I crossed my arms for emphasis.
Caroline bit her lip to try to hide her smile. “Gosh, Mom. I don’t know. All I can say is that the universe is always sending us signals if we take the time to listen.”
Sloane laughed and scolded, “Caroline! You are the worst.” Then she said, “Mom, how do you feel?”
“She’d feel better if she found the nearest fitness center a little more,” Caroline said under her breath.
I gave her my best you’re in trouble look.
I didn’t know how I felt. Overwhelmed. Terrified. Excited. But when I narrowed it down to one overarching emotion, it was one that surprised me. “I feel . . . relieved.”
“Relieved? Emerson is pregnant, with Coffee Kyle’s baby, out of wedlock,” Sloane said. “I mean, I’m thrilled. But you’re Ansley Murphy, classic Southern, conservative mother. How can you feel relieved?”
“She’s actually Ansley Richards now,” Caroline interjected. “And no one says ‘wedlock’ ever.”
“When you have three daughters, the idea that one of them could get pregnant at any moment is always on your mind. She’s almost twenty-seven. She can support herself and her child. It could be much, much worse. So I’m relieved.”
And now I could only hope that Emerson felt the same way. I looked at Jack, and I realized that we, like my girls, shared a language. And he was almost as excited about seeing this grandchild come into the world as I was.
FORTY
emerson: the seed
“We can’t just stand here in the yard,” I said. “Everyone will hear us. The entire town will know in like five minutes.”
Kyle nodded, looking dazed. He started walking next door, to the back of Mom’s house, and I followed him. He pulled the hide-a-key out of the lantern and unlocked the back door. It was kind of hot in her kitchen, since no one had been living here since she and Jack got married. Maybe it was in my head, but my ankles already felt a little swollen in all this Georgia humidity.
I sat down on one of the barstools, and Kyle sat down beside me. He turned his stool to me and then reached over and slid me around to face him. I didn’t know why it was so hot, but it totally was. That was not what I should have been thinking about in that moment that could really determine the rest of my life. But it was what I was usually thinking when Kyle was around.
“First,” he said, “are you sure? Because I can’t get my hopes all up like this and then be let down.”
I was a little offended, but I could see his point. And also really surprised. If he was getting his hopes up, did that mean he was excited?
“I am one hundred percent, totally positive,” I began cautiously. “Mark and I had made a no-sex pact before our wedding, and I have been so utterly destroyed since our night in the tree house that I haven’t even looked at anyone else.”
Kyle looked at me for a long minute, as if he couldn’t quite digest what I was saying. “Em!” he said, so loudly it startled me. “We’re having a baby!”
I was afraid he was losing his mind. “Yes,” I said slowly. “I am aware of that.”
“So why aren’t you more excited?” he asked, grinning like his face might break in two.
“I mean, I am excited. I’m just overwhelmed and trying to figure out how you’re going to react.”
He jumped off his stool so quickly it toppled
over and wrapped me up and kissed me. It was exactly what I needed. “That’s how I’m feeling,” he said. “It’s the best damn news ever.”
I laughed. I was so relieved. This really could have gone a different way.
“Well, we have a lot of details to work out,” I said.
The back door opened, and the entire family trailed in, as Kyle, with his hands on my belly, which was, I might add, still perfectly flat, said, “What’s to work out?”
“Like where are you going to live?” Sloane asked.
“LA, of course,” Kyle said. He motioned with his hands like he was saying, Keep ’em coming.
“Really?” I asked. “You would move to LA?”
He walked over, put his arm around me, and kissed my head. “Em, I saw you on that set when you were filming the movie of which we do not speak. That’s your home. That’s where you belong.”
“But now with the baby . . .”
“The baby?” he said. “Everyone in Hollywood has like a half-dozen of them. And I am great with kids. I mean, I can change a diaper like you’ve never seen.”
“You can?” I was surprised.
He shrugged. “I’ve never actually done it, but theoretically.”
“SJP filmed Sex and the City while she was pregnant,” Caroline interjected.
“Yeah,” Sloane said. “Reese Witherspoon filmed Cruel Intentions while she was pregnant.”
“Well, actually,” Mom said, “I think she got pregnant while filming Cruel Intentions.”
“OK, guys,” Kyle interjected. “We’re getting a little off topic here.”
I sighed. This was all too much. “I mean, you could move and pack up your life, and I might never really do anything good, and then we would have wasted all this time and energy.” I paused. “It’s too much pressure for one person.”
“It’s OK,” Kyle said. “Whatever it is, it’s OK. Whether you win an Oscar or film commercials for adult diapers, it’s all OK. Changing course doesn’t mean you failed. But don’t change course because you’re scared. Change course because your heart is leading you in a different direction.”
“Damn,” Caroline said. “I feel so inspired.”
“And so what if in a few years, I realize the acting thing isn’t going to work out?”
Kyle looked confused. “I feel like you know me better than anyone, but this line of questioning is leading me to believe differently.” He paused and took my hand. “Emerson, I honestly believe the best part of life is the surprises, the reinvention of yourself. This is the best one I can think of. And when the next surprise comes, we’ll roll with it. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s kind of a big deal,” Sloane said under her breath.
“What will that look like?” I asked.
“I’ll move into your place, and we’ll raise the baby together. Pretty simple.” He grinned at me. He was probably the most beautiful man I had ever seen in real life. I could only hope this baby looked just like him. He shrugged. “Or we get a new place. It doesn’t matter. I honestly don’t care.” He looked so excited that I felt certain he was going to burst into song.
I knew, looking at him then, that he was what I wanted, maybe what I had wanted for a long, long time. “But Kyle, I can’t be back in the same situation, with someone who doesn’t understand what I do.”
He laughed. “And that’s where you’re wrong, Em. Because I’ve lived in Hollywood, and I do understand. I know why Hollywood relationships never work out.”
“I would love to know why,” Caroline said. “I mean, I know I should be prepared, but it still breaks my heart every time.”
Sloane patted her arm in mock support.
“Because what draws you together initially is your love of the same thing, that you speak the same language, that you understand how it feels to become someone else, to become totally absorbed in another world,” Kyle said. “But the reality is that it can never work, because you both want the same thing, so there’s an underlying level of competition, not to mention that being famous doesn’t allow time for a real life. Someone has to grocery shop, someone has to take care of the kids. Someone has to be the seed, and someone has to water it.”
He pointed at me and said, “Seed.” Then he pointed back at himself. “Water.”
That was actually the most brilliant thing I’d ever heard.
“So what will you do?” Sloane asked, ever the practical one.
“I already own a coffee shop in LA. Of course, I’m going to rebrand. I won’t call it a coffee shop. I’ll call it, like, Kyle’s organic, gluten-free, non-GMO, fair trade, grass-fed, slimming, shiny hair, better skin magic tonics.”
Caroline nodded seriously. “That will do very, very well in LA.” She paused. “If you’d like to franchise to New York, I’ll be your first investor.”
“You’re too late,” he said. “I already have. And Phoenix, Atlanta, and Charlotte, too.”
“What?” I asked. “You didn’t mention any of that to me.”
Kyle shrugged. “It never came up.”
Mom put up her hand to stop everyone. “Hold on just one fat second.”
Ah, yes. This was what I had been waiting for. It was sinking in. The freak-out was coming.
“Kyle, you may not leave Peachtree Bluff.”
“Whoa,” I said. “He can’t leave, but I can?”
“I don’t care what you do. He has the coffee.”
We all laughed.
“I’m not closing down the shop. My cousin Keith and I can switch places.” Kyle shrugged. “He’d be up for it.”
Mom shook her head. “It’s not the same.”
“So?” Kyle turned and asked me.
I couldn’t help myself. I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him.
“Emerson,” Mom said. “For heaven’s sake. Control yourself.”
“You’re cool as a cucumber that she’s pregnant but don’t want her to kiss him?” Caroline asked.
“Yeah, Mom,” Sloane said. “How do you think she got this way?”
Mom sighed, and I finally pulled away from Kyle.
“Living in sin with a baby,” Mom said. “It’s a new day. Im getting too old for this.”
Jack walked through the back door, cautiously. “Is it safe to come in now?”
Mom motioned for him to come in and said, “I’ll get the guesthouse ready.”
“It’s OK,” Kyle said. “Em can stay with me.”
I shook my head. “No way. I have to get back to set tomorrow. I want us all together, one big, happy family. Let’s spend the night at Jack’s!”
“Yay!” Caroline cheered.
Mom looked up at Jack. “You wanted them, remember? You wanted to know them and be in their lives. This is what you get.”
“Yeah, Grack,” Sloane said, patting Jack on the back.
We all laughed hysterically.
And I realized that this was one of the many, many reasons that I loved the movies. Things working out like they should. Everything being OK. Happily ever afters. And now, finally, it looked like I might just get mine.
FORTY-ONE
ansley: everything you never wanted
I was on Kimmy’s farm with Taylor, AJ, and Jack when I got the call. Emerson, who was three days past her due date, would be induced in two days. There was so much to do. We were already packed, but I needed to call Caroline and Sloane, book a flight, get a hotel room . . . But before I rushed off to tend to the to-dos, I looked over at Kimmy, the produce girl who, little by little, had wormed her way into my heart and finally, after all these years, had broken down and let me give her an alliterated nickname like everyone else in town had: Kohlrabi Kimmy. The town still preferred Kale Kimmy, but she had insisted that kale was too trendy for her. Kohlrabi, her favorite root vegetable, evidently was a classic.
Taylor and AJ were running after the chickens while she showed them her crops. It was a little-boy paradise, and it made me realize that I should bring them out here more often. I leaned a
gainst Jack, the hot midday sun beating down on my face as we sat on the dusty ground, and I was glad I had remembered my SPF that morning.
He kissed my head. “My grandchildren are a miracle,” he said. Then he looked at me. “Am I allowed to say that now? My grandchildren?”
I laughed. He had accidentally said that several months earlier while helping me with the boys when Sloane was out for the night, and I had nearly panicked. Inside, I mean. Externally, I thought I had done a fairly good job of keeping it together. Obviously not.
Kimmy was kneeling in front of Taylor, showing him one of her namesake kohlrabis. She was one of those rare people who was a bit awkward with grown-ups but an absolute genius with kids. It was a gift to be that way, I believed. I smiled at them before turning back to my husband.
“Yes, Jack. I’d say that you can legitimately call them your grandchildren now.”
“I get to be there when one of them is born,” Jack said excitedly. I looked up and kissed him softly. My kids were lucky to have him. So were my grandkids.
“Funny how sometimes getting everything you never wanted can make you so happy,” he added.
We both laughed. “It’s peaceful out here, isn’t it?” I asked.
He nodded. “Maybe we should get some land.”
I shrugged. “Maybe we should just borrow Kimmy’s. I think she likes it when we come out here.” Judging from the glow on her face, I think she loved it, actually.
“Speaking of that, what do we do about the houses?”
I jerked my head up off his shoulder. “What do you mean, what do we do about the houses?” I could feel that I was glaring.
He put his hands up in surrender. “Hey, calm down. I’m just asking. Do we keep two houses right next door to each other?”
“I can’t possibly part with Grandmother’s house,” I said. “All of my best memories are in that house. My mother died in that house.” That was something I always thought I would consider a black mark against a place. Instead, I still loved walking onto that calm, peaceful porch and remembering that was where my mother took her last breath, that we were all under the same roof when it happened. It felt special, not creepy.
The Southern Side of Paradise Page 27