Yes. Surprising. To run smack dab into a man I haven’t seen in years, a man who’s not my fiancé and yet who’s making me feel something. Something big.
I jerk to awareness and pull back from him quickly. Not making eye contact, I murmur, “I’m sorry. Again. I’m not usually this clumsy.”
His callused thumb and finger take my chin and tilt it slowly, forcing me to look at him. His expression is filled with genuine concern and interest, two emotions that haven’t been directed my way in a long freaking time.
He’s taller than I am but not by a lot, and he looks so relaxed I suddenly realize just how stressed out I am.
“Need some help with anything?” His question is innocent, but the words come out heated, and our gazes clash.
“No, thanks.”
I break away from him, from those sapphire blue eyes that look even more alive and sparkly than I remembered.
And I’ve remembered him a lot over the years. As much as I’ve tried to forget that night, I could never forget the Keep Montana Wild boy who gave me my first real kiss.
And now he’s a man, all sexy and mature and standing right in front of me.
Emotions—and needs—that I’d stuffed away into the recesses of my heart come flooding back.
The way I wanted him that night when my lips clung to his.
The way he held me.
The way I ran away.
I swallow and reach to put the spoon back into the proper bin. I suddenly don’t feel hungry, at least not for granola.
He extends his hand. “I’m Brayden.”
I take his hand and feel how strong it is in mine. I shake it quickly and then let it go. “Leleila.”
“Nice to finally put a name to the face.”
I clench and then unclench my hands together. “You remember.”
“Of course I remember. I never forgot you.”
“It’s just…it’s been a long time.”
“Sure has.” His eyes are warm on mine. “You’re all grown up now.”
“So are you,” I say without thinking.
He chuckles. “I think I saw you earlier today. At Big River Ranch? I didn’t make the connection then, but something about you was familiar.”
I startle. “Oh! Yes, I was collecting a sample of cow dung.”
His eyes flash with amusement. “Cow dung?”
I nod. “Phil and Betsy requested it. My parents run a foundation called Save the Soil. We focus on teaching people about ways to protect the soil from contamination, such as the dangers of pesticides. Mountainview is working to increase its organic fertilizer options, but it still has a ways to go. Sometimes the ranches get hit with pesticides from surrounding properties, and it shows up in the cows’ waste. Sometimes the ranchers are grateful, and sometimes they hate us.” I laugh nervously. “I didn’t know you lived at Big River Ranch. That’s the first time I’ve collected from you, I swear.”
“I think that’s cool what you’re doing.” He tilts his head. “So you work in the environmental field then?”
I blow out a breath. “No, my parents do, but I’m actually a psych major. I’m supposed to have my PhD but…I didn’t pass. Not yet. So I don’t currently have a job. Not a paying one, anyway. I help my parents with their foundation as much as I can.” I fumble with the bag I’m still holding. “I didn’t see you. At the ranch.”
“I know. You were too busy looking at the shit.” He grins. “No matter. I got a second chance to meet you. Or I guess I should say a third chance.”
Our eyes clash, and silence fills the space between us.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
Brayden breaks the eye contact and gestures at the empty plastic bag in my hand. “You going to try again for the granola?”
I shake my head and back away from him. “No. I have to go, actually. I have…” To go home to Phillip. “I have a prior engagement.”
That’s not exactly what I planned to say, but it couldn’t be more truthful.
I turn my back on him and nearly run through the aisle.
I hear June calling to me as I pass by the registers, but I don’t stop.
I keep running all the way to my car, and then I jump into the driver’s seat, turn on the ignition, and floor the gas, not letting up until I’m safely in my driveway.
Brayden
I stand frozen in aisle four, staring after her as she makes a fast track away from me.
What the fuck was that? This whirlwind of a woman, all green eyes and an amazing mane of dark brown hair, just slammed into my chest and knocked me so off-kilter I’m still catching my breath.
Just like she did twelve years ago.
My heart is doing triple time as my brain tries to play catch up.
The woman with the emerald eyes and barest hint of a smile—the kind of tension-filled smile that makes me want to ask her why she’s so unhappy—has me all sorts of thrown off.
We’re total opposites. You don’t have to be a genius to pick up on that. We always were.
I was the football jock who grew up on a cattle ranch, and she was clearly a smart girl who didn’t normally frequent the kind of parties I was used to. The moment I turned away from the ping pong table, her eyes were stuck to me like I was the first half-naked guy she’d ever seen. Maybe I was.
I frown as I remember what happened next that night.
After I lost sight of her at the party, I went looking.
When I reached the empty hallway, I heard banging coming from one of the rooms. My gut tightened, and fear cut through me.
I rattled the doorknob and pushed the door open.
When Leleila crashed into me, I instinctively wrapped my arms around her. I glanced over her shoulder at the guy laid out on the ground, and my fear turned to rage.
But she clearly didn’t want a scene. She also didn’t want to be left alone.
And that kiss between us…I run my thumb over my bottom lip as I continue to stand in the middle of the cereal aisle. She was inexperienced but passionate, and it felt like she gave me everything with that kiss.
And now?
We’re still total opposites. She was rocking a fancy business suit, and I’m still dressed for manual labor. Her body filled out her suit nicely, and her jacket kept riding up on her ample hips. Her blouse was undone at the first two buttons, just enough to reveal a hint of cleavage.
I was drawn to her all over again. All of her, not just her body.
I run my hand down my face.
I want her.
I want to ask her out.
Christ, Brayden. Let it go.
I’m in the middle of a crossroads in my life. Being a high school football coach is great, but it’s not enough to keep me living at Big River. If I want to buy the ranch I live and work on, I need to put all my energy into bulking up my savings. Any woman would—and should—probably run from me right now.
But for the first time in a long time, I met—okay, I remet—a woman I want to get to know better. And…I’m going to follow through.
I finish putting away the final cereal box, and then I head to the front of the store, stopping at June’s register.
She looks up with a smile. “Her name’s Leleila,” she says before I have to figure a way to get it out of her.
I cock my head. “I know.”
“Well, color me surprised.” June’s eyebrows shoot up. “My sister’s not exactly the social type.”
“Leleila’s your sister?” I say, not able to keep the disappointment out of my voice.
I may be working for Big River when I’m here, but asking out the store owner’s sister is a level of complicated I can’t do.
But June just smiles wider. “You won’t get any pushback from me. I think you should go for it. My sister, on the other hand…” She trails off, but something in her tone makes my heart lurch.
“Is she…involved with someone?” I ask.
Please, please, say no. Please say she’s single.
J
une hesitates, and that’s when my chest starts to ache.
“She is.” I stuff my hands in my pockets.
“There’s somebody else, yes,” she says in a pinched tone like it pains her to have to admit it. “Although I’m far from convinced it’s a forever thing. So I would still go for it if I were you.”
I shake my head. “I won’t get in the middle of someone else’s relationship. Ever.”
“That’s not what I meant.” June purses her lips, looking like she’s choosing her next words carefully. “Let’s just say that I think you and Leleila could be good for each other. At least get to know her, Brayden. As friends. My sister acts like she doesn’t need anyone, but the thing is”—another long pause as she appears to again search for the right words—“Leleila could really use a friend right now.”
“I don’t…” I rub the back of my neck. “I don’t do female friends.”
“Well, maybe Leleila can be your exception.” June turns away from me, and I realize the conversation is over.
But as I go back to work, the words play through my head, and I can’t get them out—maybe Leleila can be your exception.
Chapter Four
Leleila
I’ve just barely stopped shaking by the time I walk in my front door. Grateful Phillip’s not home yet, I race upstairs to our bedroom.
When I open the closet door, I reach inside to the far back corner until I feel the firm brim I know so well.
I wrap my fingers around it and pull it onto my lap.
The cowboy hat Brayden gave me so long ago when he was trying to shield my cut face from the room full of partying drunk kids.
Through all my years at college, and graduate school, and moving in with Phillip, I never let go of it. I go to put the hat back, and my hand brushes something else long forgotten. My portfolio and my easel.
“Lei! Are you there?”
I shove the easel back into the closet and toss the hat on top, but I tuck the portfolio under one arm and plaster a smile on my face as Phillip walks into the bedroom. He’s wearing blue spandex bike shorts and a helmet.
“Hi!” I say. “How was your ride?”
Phillip shrugs as he takes off his helmet, revealing dark hair plastered to his head with sweat. “Pretty good. I got up to twenty-three miles per hour this time. Oh, and I entered the Keep the Forests race next weekend. It’s only a fifty miler, but it will be a great tune-up before winter comes.”
I walk closer and look up into Phillip’s dark eyes. He’s six foot three, so it’s difficult for me to see his face well when we’re both standing, but it looks like he hasn’t slept in days.
I stand on my toes to give him a kiss. “I’ll come to the race and cheer you on like I always do.”
“You sure you don’t want to bike it with me? It’s great exercise for a great cause. The proceeds go to the conservation of Montana’s rural forest lands.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty certain. Biking’s not for me. But it is a great cause, and it’s very noble of you to want to help.”
“Your parents have done about thirty years more work helping the environment and animals than I have,” he says. “This must feel like nothing to you.”
That last sentence gets me.
I stare at Philip’s windburned face, his tight jaw, and the layer of tension that always seems to hide the shine in his eyes, and I exhale.
Phillip leans down to kiss my neck. “I know we haven’t had a lot of time alone together lately…”
More like any time.
“And I miss us. In bed.”
Oh.
He looks at me. “Honey, I know you and I have different needs.”
Right.
The couple times I’ve tried to talk to Phillip about what I like, he brushed me off and said he didn’t need an instruction manual. And I haven’t been able to tell him about what happened in high school with Noah.
“What’s wrong?” he asks me. “Are you okay?”
“Phillip…” I begin.
He snaps his fingers. “I forgot I offered to host the wine and cheese get together tonight. For Dr. Lucas’s visiting colleague.”
I freeze. “Here? At our house?”
Phillip’s eyes soften. “Lei, nobody’s judging you.”
Right.
“Is Professor Hammond coming?” I say casually.
“I don’t think so.”
“Were you at Big Sky Grocer with her the other day?”
He furrows his brow. “Yes. We grabbed lunch before my afternoon classes. Why?”
I bite my lip. “Because June mentioned someone was touching you. A lot.”
Phillip’s eyes crinkle with amusement. “It was nothing. I can assure you, honey, that Elsa Hammond and I have never…done anything inappropriate. You don’t have to worry about her. Okay?”
I don’t feel okay, but the sharpness in Phillip’s tone tells me this topic is closed for discussion.
As he goes to sit down on the bed, I reach for his arm.
“Honey?”
He turns. “Yeah?”
“Dance class is tomorrow night at June’s. Are you in?”
Long pause as Phillip frowns.
“I’m not sure I can swing it. You know how busy I’m going to be leading up to our wedding. I’ve got that ecology conference down in Boulder, and I have to finish reviewing my data.”
My jaw tightens. “Will your research be done by our wedding?”
“It has to be. I want to take the findings on our honeymoon so I can review the notes and maybe add to them with anything extra I find there. It would just be gravy for this paper, but I’m not complaining. It’s not every day you get to test your theories in the Galapagos, right?”
“Okay, how about a compromise?” I suggest. “I know we’re just having a low-key gathering with our immediate families after we marry, and that we’re not dressing up or having a real wedding cake or anything like that…”
“Complete waste of money,” Phillip interrupts me. “Total commercialization by the wedding industry to get paid for something that shouldn’t empty anybody’s wallet.”
“Right. And I agree with you on all of that. However, I think it could be fun if we had a wedding dance. You know, to introduce us as husband and wife, and it would be fun to learn a dance together. Class is only once a week, on Tuesdays, and you don’t teach that night. June says the instructor will teach the basics to everyone and then fine-tune each couple’s dance to fit them.”
Silence for a minute. Then—
“Sure. I’ll take the class with you.”
I throw my arms around him, and he chuckles.
“Now that that’s settled, let’s get ready for tonight,” he says, pulling back from me. “I need to make sure Dr. Lucas backs me on this paper submission.”
“I miss having time alone together,” I say suddenly. “It’s been a while.”
“It has,” he agrees, sounding like he’s already distracted. “I think I may meditate before I shower, get myself in the right mood for tonight. Do you mind getting everything ready?”
“Don’t you want to talk?”
He kisses my cheek, but he’s already turning on his iPod. “I’m trying to unwind from a long day of research, Lei. So if you don’t mind waiting to chat until I’m finished here, it won’t be too long.”
I stand awkwardly at Phillip’s side, feeling like I don’t belong as he holds up a glass of champagne and solemnly toasts to his colleague’s recent publication. The small circle of five professors, plus their spouses, all raise their champagne glasses in unison, each one just as gravely as Phillip.
Phillip and I met in front of a microscope junior year of high school in AP Biology lab. We were the only two juniors in the class. Phillip was granted approval because he’s brilliant, and I was granted approval because my parents are both brilliant biologists.
Having barely made it through Honors Biology the semester before, I was in a panic, not having a clue what I was looking for on the
slide and certain I was going to let down my parents. Phillip slid over from his spot one desk over and offered to give me a hand in figuring out the specimen.
I accepted his offer gratefully, and he walked me home afterward.
When I introduced him to my parents, I could practically see the lightbulb switch on over my father’s head. It turned out that my dad and Phillip’s dad were former colleagues and had published a scientific paper together. My father enthusiastically hired Phillip to tutor me in biology. Phillip asked me out two weeks later. I was still reeling from my attempt to socialize at the football game and afterparty the month before, and Phillip’s serious nature and focus on scholastics appealed to my scared, wounded soul.
He was safe.
I said yes to the date, and that was it. We were a couple.
I can still remember the look of pride on Dad’s face the day I told him Phillip and I had started dating. He beamed and said he couldn’t have hand-picked a better young man to be my partner—in life and in school. His approval of my decision to date Phillip is the most proud of me I ever remember him being.
The toast for Dr. Lucas comes to a close, and Phillip puts his arm around me. “As you all know, Leleila has been going through a rough patch.”
Dr. Lucas frowns. “Psychology professors don’t know anything. It’s a soft science, Leleila. Don’t let them bring you down. I’m sure you’ll pass next time.”
“We’ve all been there,” Dr. Gray says to me, her brown eyes shining with pity.
“You didn’t pass your dissertation the first time?” I ask her.
“Oh, I did,” she says. “But the hard sciences are black and white. That’s what’s wrong with the field of social sciences. No clear answers.”
Backhanded compliments as usual, but I keep my chin up as I nod.
“The good news?” Phillip says. “I have the perfect solution to our problem.”
“How did you come up with a fix so fast?” I ask him, my guard immediately up.
“Because I realized everything doesn’t have to change just because you don’t have a career,” he says.
Brayden (Wild Men Book 6) Page 3