by Terina Adams
“You are not to blame for my brother’s hatred. That is all his own. But if anyone is to blame, it’s me. I am the one—”
I placed a hand over his lips. “You are guilty of allowing a servant girl to catch your eye. That is all.”
“Do you really think that is all?”
“You’ve done nothing else to warrant his anger.”
He shook his head slowly as he rested a hand under my chin and tilted my head up to his. “That’s not what I am talking about, Rya. I’m guilty of a lot more than fancying a servant girl. I’m guilty of loving her too. But my problem is, I’ve yet to know if the love is only one-sided.”
I pushed him away, showing mock indignation. “After our night in the trees, do you really need to ask that question?”
Cerac wheeled me back into his embrace. “It was a desperate night when neither of us knew what would happen. I wasn’t sure if that was the reason things unfolded as they did or if it was the beginning of something more.”
“And now you know,” I said into his chest as he crushed me to him.
“No, I don’t know.”
“Silly, what did I just say?”
“I didn’t hear the words.”
I found myself a little space from his tight hold on me. “You want me to say it?”
He leaned down and rested his forehead to mine. “Every word.”
“Fine, Master, if that’s—”
Cerac kissed me, a firm kiss, mouth closed, which acted more as a warning kiss than anything. “Don’t call me that.”
“It’s what you are.”
“Not to you. A woman does not climb onto a man’s groin and take her pleasure then call him Master.”
I smiled inwardly, outwardly and in every other way a woman could feel so good with her clothes on. “Cerac, if it’s the word love you want to hear, then…I love you. I’ve loved you from the moment you made me dress like a boy and kissed me in the alley like a man parched for desire, then stole off with me through the streets.”
This time he kissed me like a man should kiss a woman, and I kissed him back like a woman was never meant to kiss a man. We were, yet again, in another moment that I wanted to last for eternity. An impossible dream and the reality came crashing in all too soon.
“We have to go to the dungeons now,” Cerac said. “I’m sorry. If there was another way, I would take that first. This is the only way I can be assured no one will know where you are.”
“I know.”
He gave me one last swift kiss, then took my hand and led me farther into the belly of the arena. At some point, he took some flint and began to light the torches either side of the passage, and the place lost its forbidding darkness. All the same, as we descended, memories of our time passing through the tunnel and out the other end of the city and on the other side of the gate loomed ugly and real. I tried to keep the panic from overtaking me at the thought of being so far below the surface.
“How far in are we going?”
“Not far. Just a few more steps and we will be there.”
As promised, we came to a dank-smelling chamber with a high-cut ceiling lined with jagged rocks, which speared downward, looking like suspended arrows just waiting for the right victim underneath. As Cerac moved back and forth lighting all the torches, I wandered to each entrance and peered inside and a shiver ran through me. The stale, dank but otherwise clean air was the only difference from the king’s dungeons.
“They were used as dungeons many, many hundreds of years ago before an early king had the current ones built. With the new bigger dungeons, these were soon forgotten. It has been many hundreds of years since these ever saw a prisoner.”
“That would explain the clean air compared to where the king keeps his prisoners now.”
“I hate to ask this of you. But I want you to stay down here until I say it’s safe for you to leave. I will return with necessary bedding and anything you would like to make your time here a little more comfortable. I will bring plenty of food and water and make sure the torches are lit at all times so you are not kept in the dark.”
“But won’t that alert anyone to the presence of someone down here?”
“Only these torches will be lit. Those higher up along the passage will remain unlit. You have nothing to fear.”
“I know.”
I looked at his handsome face and remembered the first time I saw him and how, even locked in my place of hatred and anger, he’d mesmerized me. The man had become so much more than just his appearance and station.
“I will stay here because I trust you. I know you will return.” Then I pulled him close, laying my cheek across his chest so that I could hear his heartbeat.
But when I closed my eyes, I saw the wraith, saw his dark eyes penetrating through mine and into this private moment. I squeezed my eyes tight, wanting to shut him out. I wasn’t going back. Cerac would free me, which meant nothing I did would ever be his property. And even if he sent ragool to hunt me down, they would never get past the marked army. I was saved.
30
I had no way of knowing if this was a new day or if I’d only been stuck down here for a few hours. Time coalesced into one when you no longer had a measure to determine it by.
Cerac had returned as promised with blankets, clothes, flint, more torches and food. All things I was grateful for, but I would’ve been content if he’d returned only with himself and said he would stay with me longer than he did. I understood his reason for rushing off again. I knew how dangerous our situation was, and that was why I’d kept my mouth shut and kissed him back before he left, but the loneliness was eating away at me.
I’d changed my clothes into a clean servant’s shirt and pants uniform. I’d eaten most of the food and drunk half my water rations. I then paced the length of the chamber and counted how many steps it took for me to reach the other side. I paced out each cell, measuring the area of the cell by how many feet I could walk. All this to stem the boredom and to keep my mind off worrying about what was happening up on the surface. Had Cerac already challenged Hunrus? What if the king refused to allow his favored son to fight, despite Cerac’s belief that he could not interfere? My mind was weaving in circles of fear and worry. Worst of all was the dread that Hunrus would win. I knew how good Cerac was, but I’d not seen Hunrus’s ability. Everyone said Cerac was the better of the two by far, but what if Hunrus had been training in secret?
At one point, I’d balled my fists and hammered them at the rock wall, wanting to force the thoughts clear and release them from my mind, which was twisting into a jumbled mess.
After too much pacing, I grabbed one of the blankets and slid down the wall in front of one of the cells and rested my head on my knees. My thoughts began with Cerac and filled with fears of what lay ahead for him. They soon turned to us, and the fears did not let up despite our declarations of love. If Cerac won and killed his brother, he would be crown prince and I would still be a servant. I wasn’t sure if the elevation in his station would mean he could marry whomever he chose. But maybe marriage shouldn’t mean anything anyhow if we were in love.
I buried my face into my knees and attempted to erase any thought as there was no point. The future would unfold with or without my worries. Weariness sank into my bones. My muscles ached. My limbs felt heavy. I rolled down onto my side and pulled the blanket up high around my neck and closed my eyes.
When I next opened them, I was lying on a stone bed surrounded by a forest of black trees and a gray sky overhead. I lurched up and a crimson blanket slipped to my waist. Crimson, a beautiful, vivid color in this forsaken place. Looking down at the blanket, I found myself naked, my skin pale in the gray light, my breasts exposed to the soft breeze.
A man stirred beside me. Before I could look at him, he rose and kissed me with lazy passion while he rested a warm hand on my breast and caressed my nipple until it hardened. My eyes were open, but his face was obscured. No matter how hard I tried to find him, a hazy blur filled my vision
. And slowly it didn’t matter anymore, for the feel of his lips and the soft caress of his hands drained everything except my sensations. I’d woken surprised, and then confused, but now my body unwound and a small tug below my belly called up a craving for more of what this man was doing.
His tongue slipped a moan from my mouth as my hands slid over his bare skin, fingers scratching nails across his back. He slipped over my leg and nestled himself between my thighs and I felt him through the crimson blanket, felt how ready he was to be inside of me.
I allowed him to lower me down so my back lay on the stone headrest behind, but instead of the hard stone, it yielded to my weight, warm and welcoming, cushioning me like fluffed pillows. The man trailed a hand on the inside of my thigh, curling circles with his finger, then gently prying my leg up and farther apart. I gasped with anticipation and sucked in his breath as I obliged and opened wide. He rose up on his arms and looked down at me.
I was in a dazed arousal, my body rising to follow his, wanting to reconnect with his skin when I finally saw his face.
“Raclin,” I yelled and punched him away. He fell to the side and sat up, resting on one hand, his face a void of confusion. I slipped off the bed as fast as I could, dragging the crimson blanket with me.
“Rya, what is wrong?”
“What is wrong?” I shrieked. “You… This…” was all I could say.
He climbed off the bed with the elegance of another man I knew who was dear to my heart.
“Rya, my sweet. I don’t understand. What has upset you?”
I backed away from his advances, my palm over my mouth. “This is not true.” I said. “What is going on?”
“You are safe now. You need have no more fears.”
“How did I get here?”
He frowned. “You have always been here.” He reached for me, but I backed away.
“No, I escaped and went home. I was safe. Cerac was going to make sure I never returned.”
“Who is Cerac?”
I stared at him, his achingly beautiful face. “Oh my stars, this is not real. This can’t be real.”
I turned from him and onto the sight of a body, lying mutilated in the soot. The man’s torso had been ripped apart, one leg lay a few feet from his hip, an arm was half chewed. His lifeless eyes stared out at nothing. I backed away screaming, screaming and screaming, for the man was Cerac.
Footfalls clomping on stone jerked me awake. I pushed up from my hard bed with an ache in my neck. My heart woke up pounding. I glanced around to find the solid stone walls of my dungeon, the torchlights burning low and the cold seeping in under the blanket. Dear mercy, it was a dream.
But the sound of someone coming was not. I rose to my feet, my limbs protesting, and hobbled to the entrance of the passage. Cerac, at last. But then I noticed there was more than one set of footfalls. There were at least two if not more, smacking along toward me. Maybe Cerac had decided I needed company, or he’d already fought Hunrus and was bringing my friends down to share the joy.
Despite my fanciful thoughts, I backed up, my instincts telling me that the hard smack of the boots sounded more like unfriendly feet approaching than Sophren and Helna bustling down to give me a hug.
They were close. I darted a look at the first cell, then before I second-guessed if I should do it, I ran through the door and crouched at the back, outside the torchlight. My heart climbed up my throat in increments with a slow tease of rising apprehension. No one knew I was here. Cerac had said no one knew.
Hunrus stepped through from the passage first, followed by one of his soldiers. His eyes went straight to my discarded blanket, then scanned the leftover food and water skin. He said nothing to his soldier as he moved farther into the room, approaching the blanket with casual yet arrogant strides.
I could just see the back of him as he crouched and reached down, no doubt for the blanket. “It’s still warm,” he told his soldier.
I ate my heart while deafened by the rapid thump of my blood in my ears.
“Search the cells,” Hunrus barked as he stood, clutching the blanket in his hand. He himself made no effort to begin the search but remained where he was looking at the other evidence of my existence as the soldier headed for the first cell opposite mine.
There was no point remaining hidden. I had nowhere to hide and the soldier would check every cell and find me in the end. Did I delay the inevitable and draw out my sentence? It was not for myself that I walked into the torchlight. My only thought was for Cerac. If Hunrus was here, then something terrible had gone wrong. I had to know if Cerac was all right.
Hunrus’s eyes ran the length of my body as I left the cell. They sang greedy, joyous words of anguish, suffering and misery. He could barely contain his sadistic enjoyment at finding me alive and healthy, for then he would have more fun in breaking me apart.
“You have no idea how much pleasure this brings me,” he drawled as he dropped the blanket and came toward me. “Now get on your knees.”
I sunk slowly down to the stone floor. He placed a hand on my head, stroking my hair. “You’re at my mercy now, Rya.” My name slid off his tongue, sounding like a verbal caress. “And I will treat you like a woman of your station should be treated.”
Using a finger under my chin, he arched my head back so I could look into his eyes, then he spat on my face, and using his other finger, he wiped it across my cheek and onto my lips, pressing hard so I was forced to open my mouth. He ran his spit-covered finger around the inside of my mouth, pressing hard into my cheeks and down onto my tongue, widening my jaw.
“And I have a special treat for you. A very special treat.”
He withdrew his finger. “Bring her,” he barked, “bound.” He strode out of the cell, leaving the soldier to deal with me.
“Stand up,” the soldier demanded as he pulled a tie from his pocket. He forced my palms together and wound the thin twine around my wrists, pulling tight to secure my hands flush with each other.
“Will you tell me what happened to Cerac?” I was afraid of the answer.
He finished his tie, then looked at me, thinking of his reply. “I suppose it won’t hurt. The king has him locked somewhere. I’m not sure where. Can’t be easy to contain someone as powerful as him. I think it’s somewhere in that special place where he keeps his marked army. Doesn’t matter how powerful you are when you have a whole army against you.”
“How did you know I was here?”
The soldier indicated I should move ahead of him. “The stable boy told the prince you’d arrived here with the master. The prince has torn the arena apart looking for you. When we couldn’t find you up top, he knew where you would be.”
At least Cerac was alive.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Don’t thank me now. You ain’t seen where I’m taking you.”
“You didn’t have to tell me anything.”
I caught his eye, and for one second he appeared embarrassed, his eyes dropping from my gaze like someone ashamed of what they’d done. “Yeah, well, truth is I feel sorry for ya. You done nothing wrong but fall in love with the wrong person.”
“Thank you,” I said once again. He wouldn’t free me, but at least the soldier had shown me a little compassion.
The soldier lead me out of the passages, but I walked behind without causing any fuss, something that would only make the situation worse for me. When I’d followed Cerac down here, we seemed to walk for hours, but all too soon, we were leaving the torched passages and out into the day.
“This way, miss.”
The soldier surged in front, turning me in the direction of the fountain and the central square. A lifetime ago I’d come here at night with Sophren and her lover and met Cerac. With building anticipation, I’d allowed him to pull me into the darkness. I then allowed him to put his hands around my waist and lead me into a dance that was for just the two of us. That was the beginning for me, when I’d stopped seeing him as my enemy, a loathed member of the king’s c
ourt, and started seeing him as a friend.
I was being led to the same place where I’d felt my first tingles of desire for Cerac. Only this time it was day and there were no stalls of soap, oils and sweet-smelling flours, no gay music or people dancing, no happy chatter and cheeky laughter. I was led toward a crowd of peasants and servants wearing somber faces, gathered around in a circle.
The crowd parted as I neared. Everyone flicked their eyes past the soldier to me. This was my departure for the dead forest all over again—the sad eyes of the compassionate, the blank glares of the hard-hearted and the curious eyes of the young who did not understand. The crowd parted, creating a narrow line walled by onlookers for me to walk through. At the last, before I reached the end of the circle of people, I spied Helna and Sophren, both locked arm in arm. Sophren’s eyes were veined red, her cheeks wet with tears. Helna looked no better. I gave them both a weak smile, then snapped my head to the front before my own tears flowed.
In the center of the circle, I met the prince. His jacket was off and his sleeves rolled up. He paced to and fro like he was impatient to start. When I arrived, he stopped, hands akimbo, legs spread wide in a domineering stance.
“Untie her,” he ordered the soldier.
My wrists ached with their freedom, and I rubbed as I followed the prince’s pacing. He walked around behind me, then darted forward and kicked me in the backs of the knees. I went down, and the pain shot through my kneecaps up my thighs. My hands hit the cobbles and a dozen small stones embedded into my palms.
The prince placed a boot on my back. “What a perfect position. Maybe I could have the peasants throw scraps to the mongrel bitch.” His laugh was like a dozen shards of glass piercing my skin.
“Give me my whip,” he barked at the soldier.
I grimaced at the word whip. Some gasped in the crowd. Some whimpered. Sophren and Helna would be amongst them. If only they had not come. If only this would not be their memory of me.
The prince grabbed my shirt and tore it from the neck to the hem, casting the tattered ends aside so the material slid down my sides, leaving my breasts bare for all to see. He ran a hand down my back and my skin quivered as my stomach recoiled.