I sank my teeth into my lower lip and gave a short nod.
“Did something happen to you? A bad experience when you were younger?”
I hadn’t talked about what happened when I was a kid in a long time. No one really knew about it beyond my family, and it wasn’t like we talked about it anymore. “When I was four. Yeah.” I didn’t need to share any more details. That would have to be enough. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Fair enough.” He looked down and swirled his feet in the water, churning it so little droplets hit my bent legs. “Why did you jump into the lake last night? If you’re that scared and had a past bad experience?”
“I don’t know…” My voice drifted. How could I explain I’d been seized with this need to prove to myself that I could do it? I’d wanted to impress Kyle and my new friends. I hadn’t thought about the consequences or anything else and just…jumped. I’d always lived such a quiet, boring existence that for once in my life, I was actually dared to do something totally out of my comfort zone, and I’d wanted to shake it up.
He wouldn’t understand. I had a feeling he knew nothing about boring existences or feeling the need to shake things up.
“It was a crazy move,” he said. When I lifted my head to defend myself, I saw that he was smiling. “A ballsy move.”
I shouldn’t be glad he called me ballsy, but I was. No one had ever described me like that before, and up until that very moment, I wouldn’t have considered it a compliment, either.
Now I did. “Ballsy” translated to “strong.” And though my feminist side was stirring, a little irritated that balls equaled strength, I couldn’t help but want to wear that word like a badge of honor.
So ridiculous.
“I’m hoping you can be ballsy again. I don’t want to push you, but we won’t be able to get much in with only a few lessons.”
“I’m okay with that.” At this point I had to take what I could get.
“Can I ask you another question before we get in the water?”
Oh, crap. We had to get in the water tonight? Why didn’t I think this through? No way could I hop into the pool and act like it was no big deal. It was a huge deal, even if we were only going into the shallow end. At least we weren’t in the lake, which was so cold and full of live creatures and the bottom was gross, sticky mud, but still.
“Go ahead. Ask me,” I said, trying to sound cool. Like the idea of getting into the water with him didn’t make my stomach twist and turn.
“Why are you pushing this on yourself so hard? Is there something you want to get over? A goal you have in mind? Do you want to go home and tell your parents you’re a swimmer now? What’s the deal?”
Chapter Ten
JAKE
I waited for her answer, still swirling my legs through the water, watching it spin and splash. I really wanted to kick water onto her just to ease the tension, but she’d probably freak. She’d looked scared out of her mind earlier when I asked if something had happened to her in the past. Whatever it was, it must’ve been awful. And she wasn’t in the mood to share that old memory, either.
More like she didn’t trust me with it. Fine. I didn’t trust her, either, so we were even.
Kyle and his group of friends had smuggled in the booze, and he’d given me the details on the meeting place info, so I’d try to find them later once Annie and I were finished. I’d probably need to get my buzz on after dealing with teaching Annie how to swim.
If she could be that terrified of water yet pushed herself to jump into the lake in the middle of the night, she must’ve had a pretty damn good reason for wanting to learn to swim. Why didn’t she ever take lessons at home? Why did it have to be this summer at camp, when she suddenly felt the need to learn?
I didn’t get it.
I wanted to get it.
“I don’t want anyone else to make fun of me,” she finally said, her voice barely above a whisper. I stopped kicking my feet in the water so I could hear her better. “Everyone can swim here.”
“Not everyone,” I started to say, but she quieted me with a look.
“Everyone above the age of eight can swim here. They’re all so comfortable in the water, around the water. And I’m just…not. I don’t want to stick out. I don’t want people to ask uncomfortable questions that I don’t know how to answer, or try to delve into my past to find out what the heck is wrong with me. I’m a—very private person.” She clamped her lips shut and looked away from me.
“Well, come on. If I’m going to teach you some basics, we need to get on it. So far we’ve done nothing but sit around and waste time.” I hopped into the pool, the water hitting me below the waist, like barely above my knees, and I waved at Annie to jump in and join me.
She sat frozen on the edge of the pool, her legs crossed like she was ready to bust out some yoga.
“Put your feet in the water,” I told her, hoping she’d agree and just…do it. Helping Dewey out with some preliminary activities he liked to put the kids through if they needed lessons had taught me a thing or two. He’d have them kick the water. Then stand in the water. Then hold on to the edge of the pool and let their bodies stretch out before they started kicking. Then he’d bring out the kickboards and so on. It was a simple step-by-step process, gradually becoming harder and harder until they finally had to put their face in the water and actually, you know, swim.
I’d thought Dewey was a pain in the ass for making those kids go through all of those tedious steps. But now I saw there was a method to his madness. They needed to go through every one of those steps to slowly become more comfortable in the water. Had to give the guy props.
I also really wished he were right here, right now, taking this duty off my shoulders.
Slowly, without saying a word, not even looking at me, she untucked her feet from beneath her legs and let them dangle over the edge, though not close enough to actually touch the water. She inched her feet down slowly, scooting her butt closer to the ledge so she would have no choice but to finally dunk those feet and get them wet.
Yet she still didn’t make a move, her feet hovering over the water. Frustration rippled through me. I was trying to be on my best behavior, but it was kind of hard. I wasn’t the most patient person in the world.
Annie dipped a toe—no joke, just her big toe—in the water, pulling her foot back so fast, it was like it never happened. She tucked the water-tainted foot beneath her bent leg, contemplating the situation in front of her, nibbling on her lower lip. Something she did whenever she was nervous, I’d noticed. She looked ready to bolt, and I needed to convince her to stay. “I don’t want to do this,” she admitted, her voice small.
“You have to.” Why the hell am I trying to convince her?
She shook her head. Didn’t say anything.
“It can’t be that bad. The water’s not even that deep.” I paused, but she still said nothing. “Annie. Look at me.” I waded into the deeper end, feeling the water rise, enjoying the sensation as it swirled around me. When I finally made it to the point where my feet were no longer touching the bottom and I was treading water, I turned to look at Annie.
“If I can do this, you can definitely dunk your feet,” I said, making it sound like a challenge.
Her brows rose. This girl loved a challenge. She started all over again, the second time around just as painful as the first, as she carefully inched her foot forward, excruciatingly slow just like the last time. Until finally, those toes were in the water—then her entire foot was in the water and she was squealing and I started shouting my encouragement, telling her she’s got this. All she needed was a little push.
I wanted to be the one who pushed her. She didn’t seem to mind, either. Despite the squealing and the yelling, she was giggling, her eyes sparkling, and she looked so pretty I got sort of lost in the moment.
Until I realized we were causing such a major scene surely someone could hear us.
I immediately went quiet and so did she, e
ach of us staring at the other until she burst out laughing, her hand going to her mouth to stifle the sound. She slipped her other foot into the water without any urging, and I grinned in return, flicking my chin at her. “Get all the way in the water, Annie.”
Her legs went still, her hands braced on the edge of the pool. Without thought I let my gaze wander the length of her. She was slightly bent over, her position offering me the perfect glimpse of her chest. She had a nice one. She had a nice everything, and the realization shocked me.
My dad told me when I was around thirteen that I should watch out for the quiet girls. “They’ll sneak up on you and blow your mind. Not only are they smart and won’t put up with any of your shit, but they’re usually beautiful, too. You just don’t realize how perfect they are because they’re so damn quiet all the time. They’ll sneak their way right into your heart. Once that happens, you’re done for,” he’d said.
At the time, I thought he was full of crap. What did he know about the quiet ones? They were boring.
But now, staring at Annie, thinking about how she was sneaking up on me and she didn’t even know it, I realized that maybe he was right.
Which meant I was totally done for.
…
ANNIE
I didn’t like the way Jake was watching me. It was like I could feel his gaze on every part of me, like he was giving me a full examination with his eyes, and it made me uncomfortable. I’d never been so blatantly checked out before in my life.
Every time I got around Kyle, I was nervous. But Jake? He made me feel more than nervous. He made me feel all jumpy and weird and…excited.
I didn’t like it.
My feet were still in the water, and it wasn’t so bad. I’d rather jump in the way I had at the lake than continue to have Jake stare at me, so I did just that. Pushed myself off the edge of the pool and hopped in, the water coming to about my waist. I sucked in a sharp breath, shocked by the water’s cool temperature. Shocked even more that I was standing in the water voluntarily.
“Good job,” Jake said. “Now walk toward me.”
“I’m not going into the deep end,” I told him, shaking my head.
“I get it. Just…walk as far as you feel comfortable with. You can stop whenever you want.”
He was still treading water but he moved closer, until his feet must’ve hit the bottom, though the water was still up to his neck. He remained there, watching me, murmuring little words of encouragement as I hesitantly started to move forward. Taking it one step at a time, the water almost feeling like it wanted to drag me down, but I resisted.
I needed to do this.
So I pushed forward, taking a few more steps until the water reached just beneath my armpits. My breathing was shaky and my heart raced and this was as far as I could go before I’d lose it. “I’m going to stop,” I told him, and he drifted closer, so he stood directly in front of me.
Jake was much taller than I was, so when his feet touched the bottom, the water only hit him at rib level. Meaning I was getting an up-close-and-personal view of his lean chest. I could see the definition of the muscles in his arms, and he wasn’t even doing anything. He had a nice body, not too muscly or overblown. I bet he gave good hugs.
I blinked, pushing the thought out of my head.
“You went pretty far,” he said, his lips curved in a closed-mouth smile. “I’m impressed.”
The compliment filled me with pride. I really needed to hear that. “Thanks.”
“Can you put your head underwater?”
“No.” Just the thought filled me with icy-cold panic.
“Would you feel comfortable holding on to the edge of the pool and kicking in the water?”
I shrugged, struggling with embarrassment. He must have thought I was the most immature failure in the whole wide world. “I can try.”
He nodded. “Good. Let’s go.”
Jake was actually a really good teacher. I appreciated his patience, and he thankfully didn’t make me feel stupid. His gentle encouragement calmed my fears, and he stood next to me the entire time while I clung to the edge of the pool and kicked my legs in the water, listening to him count my kicks and telling me I shouldn’t give up.
It almost felt like he was my coach or something, which I knew was kind of stupid, but whatever worked, right?
“Okay, I think we’re done for the night,” he said after my fourth round of kicks. “I think you did pretty well.”
He stood next to me, my fingers still curled around the concrete edge and my body buoyant in the water. “You really think so?”
“Yeah. I do.” He nodded, then turned toward the small building that stood next to the pool. “We’ve already been out here for almost an hour.”
“How do you know?”
“There’s a clock right over there.” He pointed at the giant clock that hung on the side of the building, under the overhang where towels were stored and disbursed.
Oh. The clock I never even noticed. The clock he’d probably been staring at the entire time, dying to get this lesson over with so he could go hang out with his friends or whatever.
“Okay. Well, thanks.” I settled my feet on the bottom of the pool and waited for him to get out first. No way was I going to climb out of this pool just for him to catch me at a weird angle.
“One lesson down.” He waved a hand toward the short ladder that led out of the pool. “Ladies first.”
I sent him an incredulous look. Yeah right, he’s a gentleman. “It’s okay. You go ahead.”
He rolled his eyes. “Go, Annie.”
Ugh. He wasn’t letting me off the hook. I went over to the narrow little stepladder thing that led out of the pool and grabbed hold of the silver handles, hoisting myself up and out of the water. I silently hoped he wasn’t checking out my butt—what if I had a wedgie and half my bottoms were lodged between my cheeks?
I scurried over to the shelf where the towels were kept and grabbed one, wrapping it tightly around my dripping body. I needed to get back over to movie night. I hadn’t seen Kelsey, so I figured Hannah hadn’t noticed I was missing. Yet. “I should go,” I said as I turned around to catch Jake standing right next to me, rubbing his chest with a towel.
I averted my gaze. Wow, this just felt way too personal. Or maybe I was just overreacting.
“Yeah. Go. Wanna meet tomorrow night? Same time, same place?”
“Do you?” I asked incredulously, turning to face him once more.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “The quicker we get this over with, the better, right?”
Ouch. Right. I needed to remember that he was doing this reluctantly. Not like he wanted to really help me or anything. “Right,” I said firmly, heading over to the lounger to grab my clothes. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he echoed after me.
Chapter Eleven
JAKE
“You made it! Glad you’re here, bro.” Kyle clapped me on the back, shooting a grin to all of his friends—most of them guys from his cabin—before he turned that giant smile on me, the bottle of schnapps clutched in his hand. He waved it at me. “Want some?”
I glanced around, hating how close my uncle’s office was. “I thought the plan was to sneak off first and then drink.” Drinking in the woods was much safer than drinking behind the arts and crafts building, for the love of God. Not that these idiots would realize that. From the way it appeared, they’d been passing the bottle around a while. “We’d be better off by the lake.”
We had no idea where Uncle Bob was. He could pop out of his office door at any time, though he was probably back at his cabin and already asleep.
Still. I didn’t want to take any chances. Not when everything was at stake. My uncle catches me and I’m headed straight to juvenile hall. No house arrest for me; the judge had made that clear. I needed to stay clean and not do anything stupid.
But I must be an idiot like the rest of these guys because here I was, not moving, ready to get my d
rink on.
“Nah, forget that plan. It’ll take too long to get to the woods, and there are a few people at the lake already. Bunch of snitches, too.” Kyle laughed, and so did the other guys. “Some of the girls from G7A and B are out there. We don’t need the aggravation.”
More like they didn’t want to share the schnapps. I wondered if Annie was out there. Or maybe she was going to hang out with us, though I doubted this was really her scene. “We get caught, we’re done for,” I reminded them, glancing over my shoulder at the main office. The light still shone where my uncle’s secretary worked, but I didn’t think she was still there. Though maybe she was. Hell, maybe he was, too. I couldn’t be sure.
“Stop being such a downer. We’re ready to get our party on right now.” Kyle brought the bottle to his lips and took a swig before Blake—the one who brought the booze in the first place—swiped the bottle from him. “Saw you chatting up the new girl earlier.”
Unease filled me. “Who are you talking about?”
“You know who. The new girl. Whatever her name is.” Kyle flicked his hair out of his eyes, a habit I found freaking annoying. “I can’t remember. I’m blaming the schnapps.” He cracked up, like what he said was so damn funny.
It wasn’t. I was irritated. He couldn’t even remember her name? She was totally hot for him, and he barely knew she existed. “Her name is Annie,” I said through my clenched teeth.
“Right. Annie.” Kyle snapped his fingers. “Annie, Amy, something like that.”
Jackass.
“Saw you two talking by the lake. Like, she was up in the tower with you.” Kyle tilted his head to the side, immediately reminding me of a dog. My dog looked at me like that when he was confused by whatever I was saying. And I’m pretty sure my dog was smarter than Kyle. “You two got something going on or what?”
“Who, me and Annie?” I laughed, but not too forcefully. I didn’t want to look like I was faking it—even though I was. “We’re just friends.”
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