I nodded, speechless.
Then he yanked down his jeans and boxer briefs in one swift movement and I gulped when I saw the rest of the package before me. His erection was magnificent and I hadn’t even realized I was licking my lips in anticipation until Kian pointed it out and we both laughed.
I had the sudden realization that perhaps the reason that being with Austin felt so much like he was putting on a show was that he was overcompensating for having inadequate equipment. Not that I had much basis for comparison. It could have been just as possible that Kian was more than adequately endowed.
Kian lay back down next to me and softly caressed my chin as he looked deeply into my eyes. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Very aroused,” I admitted.
“Good.” He smiled then kissed me again. The kiss started out soft but then grew in intensity until our lips and tongues were nearly raw.
Kian then placed his index finger at the base of my collar bone and ran it slowly down the length of my body, sending shivers down me in its wake.
Every movement he made was so deliberate and so energized, my desire for him continued to build until it was nearly overwhelming.
He moved his mouth to my breasts again and nibbled and sucked until I moaned in delight. Then he moved his fingers down my body until they rested between my legs. He inserted them inside me but this time he was able to easily slide them in and out, I was so wet and ready for him.
“That’s better,” he whispered then he nibbled on my earlobe, which sent a wave of shivers through me.
“Tell me that you want me, Princess. I need to hear you say it.”
It surprised me when the words almost flew out of my mouth without any hesitation. “I want you, Kian.”
“Tell me you’re sure,” he insisted.
“I’m sure,” I replied.
“You and only you,” he whispered.
Then he reached over to the side of the bed where he had dropped his jeans and removed a condom from his pocket. He ripped open the package with his teeth then slipped the condom on.
I swallowed in anticipation as he lowered himself between my legs. I thought I’d be nervous or hesitant but all I felt was overwhelming desire. I was hungry and ready for him. I needed to feel Kian inside me. I needed that connection with him.
He was gentle as he made the first push inside me and I let out a small gasp. “Does it hurt?” he asked concern in his voice.
I shook my head. “No, it feels good.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Just good? I must be losing my touch.”
“It feels really good,” I murmured as he continued to thrust inside me harder and faster. “Yes—really—really—good,” I moaned.
Our eyes locked and I grabbed on to his muscular shoulders. “Oh, yes!” I nearly screamed as I titled my hips up to meet his increasingly faster and harder thrusts.
His lips met mine and we muffled each other’s cries of passion with our mouths as we reached climax. I grabbed on to his neck and pulled him close as he shuddered with the after effects of his intense release.
When he looked at me, his face was wet with perspiration and I wiped some of the sweat from his brow. He smiled and placed a gentle kiss on my lips.
“How was that?” he asked. He still seemed to be worried about me, which was sweet.
“Can we just stay like this?” I asked. I felt so connected to him and I didn’t want it to end.
He gave me a little crooked half smile. “As much as I’d love to stay inside of you all night, things could get a little messy, if you know what I mean. I promise I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nodded but felt a small twinge of disappointment when he withdrew.
He hopped off the bed and grabbed some tissues from my desk that he used to dispose of the condom. When he climbed back into the bed, he scooped me into his arms and held me.
“Is it okay for me to stay the night?” His voice seemed a little weak like he wasn’t sure how I would respond.
I looked into his eyes. “Of course I want you to stay. Why would you ask me that?”
He swallowed. “I just didn’t want to make any assumptions.”
I flipped over so I was lying on my stomach and could look at him while I was talking. And I’ll admit I also wanted to run my fingers all over his rock hard chest.
“Have you ever spent the entire night with a girl? As in woken up the next morning with her?”
He took in a breath and seemed to hesitate before he responded. Then he just shook his head.
“Why?” I asked.
“I guess I never had any reason to stay or I never wanted to stay. It was just sex nothing else.”
I drew little circles on his glorious abs with my fingers as I continued. “Why do you want to stay now?”
He lifted my chin so that he could see my eyes. “Because this is different. Because you’re different.”
“Different how?” I challenged.
He swallowed. “There’s nowhere else I want to be but with you.”
I smiled. “I feel the same way about you,” I admitted.
“Why?” he challenged.
I thought about it for a few seconds. It sounded stupid to say that I felt like we belonged together or that there was a connection between us that was beyond explanation even though both were true. “For the last three years, I’ve felt like I haven’t really been living. I built a wall around myself so thick no one could get through. And that’s the way I wanted it. That’s how I felt safe. But that all changed when I met you. I started to feel alive again. And I feel safe with you.”
“I want you to feel safe,” Kian assured me as he pulled me close. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
I lay my head on his chest. He felt so warm and I did feel safe in his arms. It was one of the only places I felt protected. And I felt like it was exactly where I belonged.
After a moment, Kian said, “There’s only one thing that scares me.”
“What’s that?” I prodded.
He ran his fingers through my hair for a moment before he responded. “That you’ll realize you’re too good for me and find someone else.”
“Why do you put yourself down like that?” I was sad that he didn’t realize that there was no one else for me but him.
“I guess when you spend your whole life being put down by other people it becomes a habit. When I was a kid, my mom had a parade of guys go through the house and every one of them was meaner and more abusive than the one before him. They loved to tell me what a no good piece of shit I was and my mom was always too drunk or high to do anything about it. One of the things my coaches always said they liked about me is that I could take any kind of abuse on the ice and still do what needed to be done. They didn’t know it was because I got the hell beat out of me by my mom’s boyfriends from the time I can remember until I was a teenager when I just stayed out of the house. By then, my mom was so used up and worn out she had a hard time attracting men anyway.”
I didn’t know what to say or how to respond. I had a feeling that Kian’s life was difficult but I had no idea it was that difficult. When I looked up at him, his expression was somber and his eyes were far away.
I placed my hand on his cheek and it seemed to snap him out of whatever state he was in. “Hey, look at me.”
As soon as his eyes met mine, they completely softened and the sparkle returned to them. “I love you.” The words seemed to come directly from my heart and out of my mouth without being filtered through my brain. If I had stopped to think about it, I probably wouldn’t have said it even though it’s how I felt.
When I saw tears streaming down Kian’s face, I thought I may have made a terrible mistake. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe I should have waited for him to say it first.
Then he pulled me into a tight embrace and just held me. “No one has ever said those words to me before,” he said quietly.
“No one?” I said surprised. I looked into his eyes and the pain I saw there
took my breath away.
He shook his head. “I didn’t think I was worthy of being loved.”
I could feel my heart twist in my chest. How could any human being never be loved? It was difficult for me to comprehend.
“I love you, Kian,” I repeated. “And you are worthy of love. You’re worthy of my love.”
Kian pressed his lips into mine and kissed me with so much need and so much want, I was overtaken with emotion. He kissed me so wildly and hungrily, I was nearly dizzy with his desire for me.
“I want you,” Kian growled. “I need to be inside you.”
The first time we had sex he was gentle and cautious, this time it felt like he wanted to completely and totally possess me. I felt like he wanted to make sure we both knew that I was his and only his. He might not be able to say what he felt but he was going to show me with his actions.
He reached down and grabbed a condom from his jean’s pocket. I was a little embarrassed that he had brought a supply of them with him but also thankful.
Kian didn’t waste any time putting his mouth on my nipples and nipping and sucking on them until they were standing at attention. His hand found its way between my legs and as soon as he inserted his fingers, I could feel how wet with desire I already was.
“Oh, Princess,” he moaned. “You’re ready for me.”
“Yes,” I muttered dreamy with desire.
“Tell me that you’re mine,” he ordered.
“I’m yours,” I replied. “You and only you.”
His mouth crashed into mine again and I felt like he was trying to devour me. Then he reached for the condom and quickly tore into the package. As he placed the condom on his erection, it seemed to be even larger and harder that the last time. It was a little disarming.
As he thrust himself into me, I gasped at the force and intensity behind his actions. I felt like his singular goal was to claim me—to own me. His thrusts were hard and deep and I cried out at the mixture of slight pain and intense pleasure.
“Oh, Kian,” I yelled as he continued in his quest to make me his.
The feelings, the emotions, the sensations as he pumped himself into me were almost too raw and too intense. I nearly got lost in them.
When I felt my muscles clench around his erection, I cried out. He made a few more deep thrusts then went over the edge with me.
Then we both lay in a heap on the bed, completely spent. After he removed the condom and cleaned himself up, he returned to the bed and pulled me into his arms. He held me close and I nestled snugly against him until we both fell asleep.
***
I awakened to the sound of pounding on my door. In my sleepy fog, it took me a moment to realize why I couldn’t get up from the bed. Kian had his arms and legs wrapped around me like a vice.
As the pounding continued and Kian didn’t awaken, I wasn’t sure what to do. “Kian,” I said loudly. “Kian!”
He was obviously an incredibly sound sleeper. Not that the physical exertion of the night before didn’t completely knock me out, too.
As I tried to wriggle free from Kian’s stronghold, he moaned. “No, don’t go.”
“Kian,” I replied. “There’s someone pounding on the door.”
It took a moment for this to register and Kian finally released his tight grip on me. I jumped from the bed and threw on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts. When I looked out the peephole and saw it was my sister, I sighed. She could have called first.
I looked back and saw that Kian was still sprawled on the bed completely naked. “Kian, would you put some clothes on? My sister’s at the door.”
“Yeah, sure,” he replied as he rolled from the bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He threw his clothes on, which were a bit wrinkled and it seemed obvious he had spent the night. Well, of course he did. What other reason would he have to be here at nine in the morning?
And an even better question was what my sister was doing here at nine o’clock? She never rolled out of the bed before noon on a good day.
I opened the door a crack and my sister narrowed her eyes. “Why won’t you let me in?”
When I didn’t immediately respond, she gave me a cat-who-ate-the-canary smile. “You’ve got a guy in there, don’t you?”
“Maybe,” I teased.
She got closer to me and whispered. “Is it that hunky hockey player?”
Unfortunately, my sister’s only whisper is a stage whisper, so everyone in the entire wing could probably hear her as well as Kian.
“It is the hunky hockey player,” Kian exclaimed as he came up behind me and put his arms around me.
Since the cat was out of the proverbial bag, I opened the door the rest of the way and my sister barged in. She looked Kian up and down as I shut the door behind her.
“Yup,” she said. “Just as hunky as I remember him.”
Kian kissed the top of my head affectionately.
“And still completely and totally into you,” she continued. “The two of you take cuteness to an entirely new level. I actually think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”
Now I was the one frowning at her. “Very funny.”
Today, my sister was dressed in what looked like disco clothes from the 1970s. “Please tell me you’re wearing a costume for a new show.”
My sister laughed. “No. My new show takes place in 2023. But that’s not why I’m here.” My sister’s face seemed to hold a bit of worry that I wasn’t used to seeing.
“What’s wrong?” I blurted before she had a chance to go on.
“Maybe you’d better sit down.”
That sent a wave of anxiety through my body and Kian reacted my pulling me even closer and tighter.
“What’s going on?” Kian asked. I could hear the concern in his voice.
Zelda took in a deep breath. “Okay, don’t freak out.
When people qualify what they’re going to say with: don’t freak out, it’s usually time to completely freak out.
“Maybe I should sit down.” Zelda looked like she was turning pale with anxiety.
“Would you please tell us what’s going on?” I insisted.
Zelda sat down on my desk chair. “I was at a cast party last night. It was pretty lame. No one had any pot. It was a beer only kind of thing.”
“Please get to the point,” I begged.
“Fine,” Zelda huffed. “The point is that Blake was there and he was saying a lot of stuff about you. Scary kinds of stuff bordering on stalker-ish.”
“What specifically did he say?” Kian probed.
Zelda swallowed. “It was obvious he knew where you lived because he said he knew someone who lived a few suites down. So he must have Googled you. And I’m sure you can guess what else he found when he Googled you.”
My stomach clenched and I suddenly felt nauseated. “What else did he say?” I demanded. She looked uncomfortable, which was unusual for my sister who rarely had a problem saying anything to anyone.
“Remember what I said about not freaking out,” she warned. She pointed at Kian. “And that goes for you, too.”
“Just tell me,” I pleaded.
“He said he saw the video. He was bragging about it. Telling everyone what a hot little piece of ass you were and how he had to give you a go.”
Kian grabbed me so tight, I gasped. I could feel every muscle in his body tense.
“Kian,” I said. “It’s going to be okay.”
He relaxed his muscles a bit and let me go. Then he started pacing around my small suite. “It’s not okay, Princess. I want to kill that fucking son of a bitch.”
I stood in front of Kian and placed my hand on his chest. I looked up at him and when his eyes met mine, they immediately softened. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I made you a promise,” he said. “I intend to keep it.”
“He just talked a lot of crap about me. So what? It’s not anything I haven’t heard a million times before.”
“Did he actually call you Princess?”
my sister interjected.
I turned toward her. “Yes, why?”
“Did you like it?” she scoffed.
“It’s a term of endearment. Of course I like it.”
“There it goes again. A little bit of puke. Right in my mouth.”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Do you think Blake is dangerous?” Kian asked my sister.
She shrugged. “I don’t know him that well. But he does come across as an entitled prick who always gets his way.”
Kian’s brow furrowed and he looked like he was mulling it over. Then he said, “I don’t want you walking to class alone.”
“You can’t walk me to all my classes, Kian. You have practice and you’re on the road for some of your games.”
His jaw clenched. “I have to make sure you’re safe.”
I touched his chest again and his features softened. “I know protecting me is important to you but your hockey career is more important.”
He grabbed my arms and pulled me close, his eyes burning into mine. “Nothing is more important than you.”
“Your hockey career is important to me and it’s important to me that you do well.”
He looked like he wanted to say more but he refrained. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips instead.
“The two of you need to get a room,” my sister snickered. “Oh, wait. This is your room. Maybe I’d better get going.”
I glared at her. “Are you sure there wasn’t any pot at the party?”
“I said there wasn’t any pot at the party. That doesn’t mean I haven’t found some since then.”
I rolled my eyes at her.
“I’ve cut down a lot since Mom and Dad told me that they’d only pay for one more year of school.”
“I know,” I replied. “You’ve been trying.” My sister had been making an effort to improve her life and her grades and I was proud of her for that even if things didn’t always work out as she planned. She was kind of like a magnet for trouble.
“I can get up early and walk you to class,” she offered.
“Thanks.” I smiled and gave her a hug. “You’re a good big sister.”
“Let’s not get all mushy about it,” she replied.
I looked over at Kian and the look on his face was unreadable. I wanted to ask him if he was okay but I decided to wait until my sister left.
Fire on Ice (Fire on Ice Series) Page 14