by JoAnn Carter
Tracy walked up to Amanda from the back of the class. Softly, so only she could hear, he said, “I’m a little concerned about him.”
“Joey?”
Tracy nodded.
“Humm. I have a few things to tidy up here. Tracy, would you mind taking the students to the lunchroom and then meeting me back here to talk a little before the afternoon session begins?”
“Sure, that wouldn’t be a problem.”
Turning to the students, Amanda said, “Have a great lunch.”
While Tracy escorted the children to the lunchroom, she went to her desk and picked up a pad of paper and pencil. She jotted down a few notes about Joey as things popped into her mind. Within a couple of minutes, Tracy walked back through the door. His broad shoulders filled the doorframe and Amanda’s heart gave a little lurch. Why does he have to be so handsome? She cleared her throat. If only she could clear her head as easily. “I was just thinking we need to get our study team together as soon as possible and work on these transfer records.” She offered him a seat by waving her hand. “Do you have any ideas on what we could implement on his IEP to help him?”
Tracy thought for a moment. “We need a starting point, some common ground.”
“I agree. I’ve been trying all different ways to get Joey to warm up to me, but I must not be too persuasive.”
Tracy’s sense of humor popped to the surface. “Oh, I don’t know. You seem very charming to me.”
Amanda rolled her eyes. “Okay, mister. That’s enough of that.” Amanda folded her arms across her chest. Tracy held up his hands in mock surrender and remained silent.
Peering at Tracy, Amanda said, “By the way, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I’ve watched you with the children.” Tracy’s eyebrows shot up. “I saw you calm Eric down when he had a bloody nose today, which, I must say, is no small feat! I’m really impressed with the way you interact and relate with each of them.”
“See what I mean about your charming personality.” He continued with a twinkle in his eyes, “You go straight to my heart.” He dramatically placed his hand over his chest.
“Hey, cut it out,” she said with a grin. “Do I have to put up with this all year? Can’t you be serious here for two minutes?”
“On both accounts all I can say is, I’ll do my best.” Returning to the subject at hand, he looked out the window to watch the children on the playground. “I need to read through his records. Do you know anything of Joey’s background?”
Amanda shook her head. “Not really. Just that he’s new to the area, but it’s clear to me, we really need to work on this right away. I think we should ask his counselor to meet with us tomorrow. I bet Janice, the classroom teacher he sees later in the day, would be interested in helping us, too.”
“That’s a great start. Let me take care of those details before I leave today. I’ll stop by the office and pick up his old records so we can read them tonight. Hopefully, that will give us a little more direction for our meeting with Terri and Janice.”
Tracy scooted his chair closer to Amanda. “Can we jump back to our earlier conversation for a minute?”
“What conversation is that?” Amanda’s palms grew moist at his nearness. He was so close she could smell his spicy, clean after-shave.
With impeccable timing, Carolyn stood in the doorway and cleared her throat. “I’m not interrupting anything important, am I?”
Amanda stood and took a few steps away from Tracy. “No, no. Not really. Come on in.” Thankful for the distraction, Amanda waved her in with her hand. “We were talking about one of the students.”
“Great. In that case, could I talk to you for a minute, Tracy?”
“Sure. Be right there.” Tracy, continuing to look at Amanda and as if they had never been interrupted, said, “I’m glad I have the opportunity to work as your assistant.”
Amanda felt her face grow warm. “Oh, well, thanks. Like you said earlier, I try to do my best.” She incorporated her friend, “Right, Carolyn?”
“Yep. That’s Amanda.” Carolyn looked into Tracy’s handsome face and changed the subject. “Our church is having a special night for our College and Career group tomorrow. I was wondering if you’d like to go.” Tracy hesitated and she quickly added, “Amanda and I are in charge of refreshments, so you’ll know at least the two of us.”
A wave of panic washed over Amanda. Seeing Tracy in the classroom was one thing, but having him involved in personal areas of her life was another matter. Church was definitely one of those areas! She opened her mouth to stop Carolyn and then snapped it shut. She didn’t know what to say. Carolyn put her arm around Tracy’s elbow and walked him to the door.
Trying to minimize the “get-together”, Amanda raised her voice to follow them to the door. “It’s really not that big of a deal. Besides, maybe he’s not into that kind of thing.”
Tracy looked from one to the other. “I think I’d like to give it a try.” He reached for the door handle and added, “I’ve been wanting to get to know some more folks from this area.” Amanda felt like a wilted flower as she ungracefully plopped into her desk chair.
“Great!” Carolyn beamed. “I’ll pick you up at five then,” she said as they walked out the door together.
Amanda didn’t hear Tracy’s response. She grabbed her lunch bag and murmured under her breath, “I have the sinking feeling I’m going to be in for a long night tomorrow.”
Teacher's Plans
Teacher's Plans
Chapter Four
Mid-September
Amanda turned away from the door where Carolyn and Tracy entered and tried to concentrate on the fruit basket she was assembling. It didn’t escape her notice how Carolyn hung onto Tracy’s arm as she introduced him around. Not only that, but one look told Amanda Carolyn spent more time on her appearance than she usually did in a month. She couldn’t remember the last time Carolyn curled her hair, let alone wear a bright shade of lipstick. All at once, the slight headache she arrived with began to ache in earnest as her thoughts protested. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. Carolyn’s supposed to be here helping me with the refreshments. But there she is…
She picked up another piece of fruit. She was so intent on the arrangement and engrossed in her thoughts that she jumped when Tracy, who stood behind her, softly said, “Hello. You look nice tonight.”
“Oh.” Amanda almost dropped the piece of fruit she was trying to balance. “Excuse me?”
Tracy’s eyes seemed to laugh at her. He whispered, “I have the feeling you heard me, but I can repeat how nice you look again, if you’d like.”
Ignoring his comment she licked her lips. Boy, speaking of looking good, he looked dapper in his crisp jeans and leather docksiders. Now why did she notice a silly little detail like what shoes he wore? It only accentuated the realization that she noticed a lot about a man she refused to be interested in as more than a co-worker. Upset with her wandering thoughts, she blurted, “You really didn’t need to come tonight.”
Tracy’s eyebrows rose a notch as Amanda continued, “I mean, church might not be your type of thing and… Why didn’t you just tell Carolyn no?” Amanda grabbed another piece of fruit to put on top of the already too full basket.
Tracy took the fruit from her hands, turning her toward him. “I didn’t tell her no because I wanted to come.” Tracy held her gaze for a moment before saying, “And as far as church is concerned, it is ‘my type of thing’ since I gave my heart and life to Jesus about six years ago.”
Amanda felt some of the walls around her heart start to slip. She swallowed hard as she absorbed his words. Hadn’t she realized on more than one occasion that there was something different about him? Some sort of special quality radiated from him and made him even more attractive to her than his handsome appearance.
Completely embarrassed with her rude comments, she shuffled her feet. “I’m sorry. I owe you an apology. That didn’t come out quite right. It’s just…” She tried to find the right words to
tell Tracy how she felt, but nothing came to mind. Her head pounded and she raised her hands. “Oh, I don’t know.”
Before he could respond, Carolyn came up to his side with a few more friends she wanted to introduce. “Hey guys, this is Tracy Atkins.”
Amanda wasn’t about to miss out on this opportunity to slip out unnoticed for some much needed time to think. She went into the kitchen to finish getting the refreshments ready. Things are getting more out of control by the minute in this cobweb brain of mine. Lord, I think I’m becoming attracted to Tracy, but I don’t want to be. Help! The sudden ‘fight or flight’ urge took hold of her—and without a shadow of a doubt, she knew she wasn’t up to fighting, but leaving sounded like a mighty good choice.
Amanda came back through the kitchen doors and walked toward a group of friends, which included Carolyn. After catching Carolyn’s attention, Amanda gestured for her to follow. Without hesitation, Carolyn left the group.
As soon as they were out of earshot, Amanda said, “Carolyn, I’m going to scoot out of here. Can you handle the refreshments by yourself?”
Amanda watched Carolyn’s smile fade before she said, “I guess so, but, why? You’re going to miss all the fun.”
“I’ve got a splitting headache, and to be honest, I’m really not good company tonight. If and when this headache lets up, I’d like to get started on some things for the school’s Open House.”
“That’s still a few weeks away.”
Amanda tried to give her the ‘determined look.’ It must have worked because Carolyn finally said, “Well, okay. Do you want me to drive you home?”
Amanda smiled, “No, thanks.”
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Carolyn studied her for a minute. “You look a little funny.”
“I’ll be fine.” Turning toward the rest of the group, she said, “I’m not feeling well so I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you all on Sunday.”
Amanda gave a quick wave and started toward the door. Just as she was about to open it, an arm reached out and stopped her. She looked up and found Tracy with a puzzled expression.
“You okay?”
No! She felt like screaming. All she wanted to do by this point was to get home as quickly as possible. She pasted on what she hoped resembled a smile and said, “I’ve got a nasty headache. Besides, I need to work on some Open House stuff.”
“Well, maybe we could do it together. I could always meet the rest of the group another time.”
Amanda’s breath grew shallow. “No,” she squeaked out. Trying again, she said, “I’m not sure how long my headache will last. Anyway, I’ve been doing theses Open House preparations for years. It’s no big deal. You stay and enjoy the group. I’ll see you at work.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure, but thanks for offering.” With that, she walked out the door.
A sense of uneasiness seemed to settle over Amanda as she drove home. Lord, what’s wrong with me? I used to be so levelheaded; now after meeting Tracy less than a month ago, I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster—and You know how much I hate them! She let herself into her apartment, headed straight for the galley kitchen, grabbed two aspirin and a glass of water, before dragging herself to the living room.
Even the beloved old farmhouse did nothing to perk her up. Amanda plopped on the floral couch and rested her head on the back. She grimaced as the shrill sound of the phone pierced the air. After four rings, she realized her answering machine was off. She sighed heavily and got off the couch. “Hello?”
“Hi, honey.” Amanda’s mom said. “How are you doing?”
Amanda put her hand over her eyes. Oh, why wasn’t the answering machine on? The last thing she was up to was the thousand-question riot act. “Well, I can’t say this has been the best day of my life.”
“Why, what’s wrong?”
Ah, now wasn’t that the question of the day? “I’m all right, Mom. How about you and Dad?”
Thankfully, her mom didn’t challenge her. Instead, she said, “Oh, you know us. Busy, busy, and busy. Your father has had a lot of meetings lately. He might even need to go to Florida later in the year. I’m thinking about joining him.”
“That would be good. You always like to travel.”
“Yes, I know. It’s just…as foolish as this sounds, I hate to leave you and your brother.”
Here we go again, Amanda massaged the top of her nose between her thumb and middle finger . “Mom, don’t worry about us. We’re both adults with our own places. We’ll be fine.”
“Just you wait, dear. One day you will have children of your own and you will know all the worries a mother carries on her shoulders.”
“I’m not going to touch that one with a ten-foot pole. Speaking of worries, I’ve got what you would call a worrisome headache, so I’m going to go rest a little.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Well, when you get up, if you need to talk about whatever is bothering you, just give me a ring.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Amanda hung up the phone and headed back to the couch. She lay still for a few minutes trying to clear her head. After awhile, her gaze settled on the Bible resting on the coffee table. Picking it up, she randomly leafed through it.
The Bible opened to Proverbs, chapter eleven and she began to read the first three verses, “The Lord abhors dishonest scales, but accurate weights are his delight. When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful is destroyed by their duplicity.”
Laying her Bible on her lap she looked up and prayed, Lord, I know that You love honesty. However, I’m not so sure I want to be honest with myself concerning my feelings for Tracy. I really am happy being single. I have my own place, my own routine, and no one person to answer to. I don’t want to be tied down, to struggle the way Mom and Dad do. But Lord, I really do want, no need, Your wisdom concerning Tracy.
Thinking about the evening, she got up from the couch and put some water on to boil. She began pacing again in her small kitchen. Even with all my questions and feelings, it doesn’t give me the right to compromise my witness for You, Lord. And my actions at church tonight…I was quite rude.
She sat on the couch once again and prayed, Help me control my emotions and not let them control me. Scooping up her Bible again she looked down at the words. Lord, thank you for Your unending patience with me. Help me be the woman You desire me to be. She settled down more comfortably on the couch. Thank you, that You know and control the future. Help me not to become so concerned and wrapped up in Tracy that he consumes my every waking thought. May I just follow where You lead. Amen.
As the aspirin started to take effect, her headache began to subside. She drifted off to sleep for a little while. When she awoke, she picked up her Open House notes that were on the coffee table. Amanda knew what she needed to do. For the sake of the children, she was determined she would try to work as a team player with Tracy . Lord, I need to put aside my personal feelings and focus on our students. It’s pretty amazing when I stop to think about it. You’ve given me an assistant who believes in You. Together, we should be able to do a lot. Once again, I hand over the reins to You Lord. Help Tracy and me accomplish what You desire in the lives of these students. Smiling she prayed, And Lord, do you think you could tuck in those reins so they’re not so easy to grab back?
Before she could chicken out, she dug out the old file Mr. Murray had given to her in August and found Tracy’s phone number. Mumbling to herself all the while, “I know he won’t be home now, but hopefully he has an answering machine.”
After a few rings, she heard Tracy answer. “Hello?”
Amanda’s mind went blank. She stuttered, “Oh, ahh…hi, Tracy. I didn’t expect you to be home yet.”
“Hi, yourself.” The pleasure in Tracy’s voice was evident and Amanda enjoyed the warm feeling spreading through her. “I left a little early. And I’m glad I did or I would have missed this pleasant surp
rise.”
“Oh.” As the moments ticked by and the silence grew heavy, Amanda felt like kicking herself. Why did she suddenly feel tongue-tied? She felt more like a schoolgirl than a teacher.
Finally, Tracy asked, “How’s your headache?”
“Um, it’s much better thanks.” Amanda hesitated for a moment. Focus, focus… ”I really need to apologize for my behavior earlier. I know I acted like a bear. Can you forgive me?”
“Of course,” Tracy replied generously.
Amanda tucked her bottom lip between her teeth and then blurted, “I’ve been thinking about your offer to help me with this Open House stuff.”