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Already His (The Caversham Chronicles - Book Two)

Page 20

by Sandy Raven


  “Absolutely.”

  Course after course, their dinner passed in companionable conversation. Stories of their childhood provided insight into how Michael had become the man he was. And Elise had to admit, if that were at all possible, that she loved him even more after today.

  She definitely saw a different side to him. One that was unreserved and more open. Well, around her at least. His previous demeanor toward her was understandable as she truly had been a pest in her youth. A topic she very much appreciated went untouched as the evening wore on. She had to remember to thank Michael for not bringing it up.

  When dinner was over, they retired to a small adjacent parlor where they might play a hand or two of cards before bed.

  “No thank you, I think I shall retire,” said Christina, “I still haven’t recovered from my grueling day yesterday. Also, your nieces awaken very early. So I’d best recover some of my normal energy.”

  They each bid his sister good night, and after she left, Michael lowered himself onto the sofa next to Elise and drew a deep sigh.

  “Whatever brought that on?” Elise asked.

  “I believe she’s sent word to my mother to appear sooner than planned. I wonder what she’s cooking up. And, before you tell me I’m imagining things, just this morning I received a letter from my mother stating she, Sabrina and her daughters all planned to arrive Thursday. As I requested.”

  “Perhaps she simply wanted help with the arrangements for the party. You never did tell me how many people you invited.”

  “This is a very small affair. We shall host just family—my mother, my older sister Sabrina, her daughters, and Christina with her family. Mother and Sabrina are both widows as you know. Christina’s husband, Lawrence, should arrive before Friday. You’ve met Christina’s three girls and Sabrina has two daughters as well: Phillipa is thirteen, named after Sabrina’s husband, Phillip, and her youngest Cornelia, is eleven. Phillip died at Waterloo.”

  Elise nodded, remembering that Lord Knebworth passed during the war. “I’m sorry for your sister’s loss.”

  “We all were. Phillip was a brave and good man. After his death, mother moved in with Sabrina down in Bath to help her with the girls. They seem to all get along very well together, and I see to it they never want for anything. Knebworth wasn’t as fortunate as some of us, but he was a good man, brave captain, and loved Sabrina and the girls.”

  “I just realized something. Your mother has no grandsons.”

  “Yes, I know. It’s a fact she reminds me of with each letter she writes and each time I see her.” He stood and went to a game table, opening its drawer and withdrawing a deck of cards. “Shall we?”

  She shook her head. “I’m rather enjoying our conversation.”

  “As am I, but—” He appeared uncomfortable, tugging at his cravat and collar. “Even with the sun having set, it hasn’t cooled enough to be comfortable tonight.”

  “Michael remove the cravat,” she asserted. “Yes, it would be scandalous if we were in town, but here there is only you and I, and you have all but announced your intentions to my brother so I see no reason you have to keep that absurd noose around your neck to please people who are not here.”

  “Thank you,” he whispered. “The jacket must go as well. I’m suffocating.” He then removed his jacket and tossed in on a chair, untied his cravat and removed it. Lastly, he unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. “I might as well get comfortable.” Then he smiled, and Elise was thankful to be seated, or her legs would surely have given way beneath her, so powerful did that simple, appreciative smile strike at her core.

  “Would you care for something to drink? A dessert wine perhaps?” He moved to the sideboard and eyed the selection. “My uncle left me an excellent collection in his cellar.”

  “That would be nice. Is there something light and sweet? Or just port?”

  She watched as he scanned the contents of the sideboard. “Ah,” he said, holding up a bottle and reading the label. “You are in for a treat.” He poured two glasses, and carried them to the sofa, handing her one. “This is an ice wine from Bavaria. It’s made from grapes that are intentionally left on the vine to over ripen. Only when they have a certain fungus on the skin are they harvested.” He watched her sip from her glass.

  “It’s very sweet and not too heavy. I like it.”

  He sat on the opposite end of the sofa, his back leaning against the armrest, facing her. She’d never seen him so relaxed before, even when playing cards with her brother at home. “Timing is critical in harvesting these grapes. The fungus must appear on the skin of the grape at the same time the first frost is predicted. The grapes are then collected after the first frost. The locals in this region of Bavaria call it an ice wine, because the grapes are harvested in the middle of the night, while still frozen.”

  Elise watched with rapt fascination as his lips touched the rim of the crystal glass he held, and as he sipped. She wanted to kiss them again, to see if his kiss was as wonderful as she remembered, and to taste the flavor of the wine from them. She closed her eyes to shake the image and return to the present. When she opened them and looked at him, she caught the look in his gaze that told her he knew what she was thinking. Feeling.

  Through his smile, he asked, “So, what shall we discuss, minx?”

  Relaxed, she leaned against the sofa back, and smiled as she took another tiny sip. “I don’t know,” she replied. Then she thought out loud, “Why do you call me that?”

  “It suits you. And I’ve thought of you as such for so long that it’s just natural, I suppose. If you’d like, I shall stop.”

  “I’m not sure,” she said once she’d taken a sip of her wine. “It has some memories attached to it that I’m not fond of. Memories I’d really like to forget.”

  He laughed, her candor refreshing. “I don’t mean it in an uncomplimentary way at all. Please believe me.”

  Elise swore there was a glimmer of merriment in his hazel eyes. She swallowed deeply. “I’m glad,” she whispered. She could only pray he was willing to forget her past mischievous exploits and see her for who she’d become.

  “Shall I call you something else? Do you like Kitten?” His gaze took on a devilish gleam. “Or vixen?”

  Elise chuckled. “I like kitten. It’s harmless and cute.”

  “Ah, but you’re not helpless like a kitten,” he said. “Nor are you mean enough to be a vixen. Perhaps I shall call you ‘my pet.’”

  “Fine!” She didn’t intend to say it as loudly as she did. Tempering her voice she added, “You can continue to call me minx. I suppose I should be grateful you don’t call me harpy or shrew.”

  He laughed again, and when he was done, he asked, “How do you feel?”

  “Good.” She took a deep breath, then a sip of the delicious wine. “Very good, I think.” They were playing at verbal seduction, she thought, and he was quite skilled at it. Time stood still for her when he looked at her the way he did. She wished she knew how to proceed because she very much wanted to, though she could never tell him. If he knew of this strong desire she felt for him he might think her forward or flirtatious. Or, heaven forbid, less than virtuous.

  “I wish I knew what to do.” The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them. Immediately regretting sounding like a simpleton, she raised the glass and took a sip to keep from speaking so foolishly again.

  His eyes softened. “So do I, minx. So do I.

  Elise coughed as she swallowed the wine. When she’d settled, she said, “We must not be talking about the same thing because I was counting on you to know about....” Her cheeks burned and not from the wine. She was embarrassed at where her thoughts were going, or that he might know of what she was thinking.

  Standing, she replaced her wine glass on the sideboard, intending to excuse herself for the night, before she said or did something she might regret. When she looked back at him, she found Michael standing mere inches from her, his hand reaching for hers. Unable to cont
rol her own body’s movement, she leaned into him and raised her lips to his.

  She was rewarded with his arms enveloping her, sliding down her back to hold her close. Elise touched him and felt the warmth of his body against hers. His bare hands roved over her back, and when they reached her equally bare arms it sent heated rivulets of passion coursing through her. He broke the kiss, and unaware of the consequences she tilted her head back for a breath. Only to feel his warm mouth come down on the exposed flesh of her neck. She moaned, her pleasure encouraging his further sensual onslaught. She felt Michael’s tongue flick out and trace a path on the side of her neck, causing her to shiver in his embrace. His kisses left her breathing ragged. She couldn’t think. Couldn’t feel anything but the passion between them.

  “I know what you meant,” he whispered, his chest rose and fell as would a man who’d run for miles after a horse. Did she do that to him? “And I don’t think I will have a problem satisfying you when the time comes.”

  She sighed as she looked up into his darkened eyes. “Michael, I don’t want this to end. Not tonight. Not ever.”

  “It cannot go much further than this—not tonight.”

  “But can we stay together for a while longer? After your family and mine arrive, we will have no time alone.”

  He nodded, then brought her with him to the sofa. Positioning himself with his back on the arm rest and swung his feet up on the seat. This brought her to lie casually over him, and she let herself melt into his form as she pressed her lips to his. His hands molded her body close, and through their clothing she felt his hard body tremble. Suddenly she had the insane desire to taste him, all of him, so she kissed him deeper, touching his firm lips lightly with her tongue.

  He tore away breaking the kiss, his eyes wide. She thought she’d done something inappropriate. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to shock you. It won’t happen again.”

  He chuckled, causing relief to wash over her. “Where did you learn that, minx?”

  She smiled. “I read it in a book once and have been waiting ages to ‘taste the nectar of your lips,’ or the other one, ’delve into the honeyed recess of your mouth.’”

  “They actually write that bawdy drivel in books young ladies read? When I return to work, I shall have to introduce a censorship bill to protect the modesty and chastity of our future generations.”

  If it weren’t for the laughter in his voice, she might have thought him serious, and that would have truly raised her ire. “You wouldn’t! Think of all the... inspired young ladies out there who will be disappointed if they could no longer read of Lady M’s flirtation with Lord N. Why, a full half the population of this country would revolt. We would riot!” She stared into his amused hazel eyes, with her serious ones. “Think on this Lord Camden. If you did such a thing, you can bet that I’d be leading the charge on Parliament. I and every one of my friends. Why....”

  He put his hand behind her neck, drew her down and kissed her. Elise stretched her fingers out across Michael’s chest and felt his muscles quiver as they roamed over him. All the while his mouth slid over hers. She felt his thumb caress her jaw, coming to rest on her chin, and with the slightest of pressure, he opened her up to him, and Elise couldn’t believe the response his action elicited in her. All of the sudden her entire body grew warmer and she felt an intense desire to get as close to this man as she could, in ways she knew were scandalous outside of marriage. A strange stirring in her womb grew, causing her core to grow moist. She trembled again.

  Her tongue reached forward and touched his, and his hands pulled her hips closer to him. His arousal was becoming evident as he held her this way, and suddenly she knew. She wanted to meld with him, become one with him, to feel him on her, over her, inside her.

  Being with him felt... glorious. All of her life it seemed, she’d known it would be this way with Michael. She didn’t know how she knew, she just did. Something inside warned her to be careful of what might happen. But the bigger part reminded her that this was what she’d always wanted. He was the man she’d dreamed of, the man she’d shed innumerable tears over, for more years than she cared to remember.

  She rested her head on his chest, struggling to collect her breath and her thoughts. His strong heartbeat pulsed beneath her cheek as she inhaled his masculine woodsy scent. She wanted everything with him. She wanted him in every way a woman could have a man. Now.

  “I want....” Her voice sounded labored, strained, even to her own ears. She cleared her throat, and tried again. “I want you. Michael, I want you, but I don’t know what to do.”

  “I want you too, minx” he said softly, his warm breath dancing in the hair behind her ear. “I do.”

  “You want me?” Elise looked into his eyes and thought she saw her love returned. It left her with a little trepidation, almost as though she needed to be pinched. She could hardly believe she finally won the affection and love of her heart’s desire.

  He smiled, and in the dim light of the room, she saw her affection for him mirrored in his warm gaze. “Yes. As crazy as it may seem to everyone else—hell, even to me—I want you, too.”

  “Then help me, Michael,” she pleaded. “Show me how to love you.”

  “Not yet, minx.” He shifted her over to the side and straightened slightly. “We cannot just yet.”

  Confusion grounded her soaring spirits. He wanted her, yet he was rejecting her when she offered herself to him. “Why?”

  “Because we have much to discuss.”

  “Can’t we discuss it later?” Her heart was pleading with him not to reject her when everything was finally so perfect for them.

  He shook his head. “You have no idea how difficult it is for me to do this, but we must maintain all the proprieties. For the time being. Things, events, have to proceed in order, so that gossip does not taint you, darling.”

  “Do you think I have ever cared one whit about gossip?”

  “I know you don’t, but I have to, and I promised your brother I would protect you and care for you.”

  Deflated, she rested her head on him again.

  “I’ve thought this out, Elise, and if you will listen to what I propose, you’ll see the soundness of it.” When she didn’t respond, he began, “You need to complete your season unencumbered. Much as it pains me, you must know for certain that I am the one you want to tie yourself to.”

  “I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”

  “Let me continue, please.”

  She closed her eyes and gave him a slight nod. Even though patience was never a trait she possessed in much quantity, she knew she had to at least hear his reasons, as much as it hurt her to do so.

  “In August, we will publicly announce our plans to wed, and we can be married shortly thereafter. Either by special license or have the banns read and have a traditional wedding. Whichever you choose.”

  “But that’s months away! Michael, I want you now, today, this minute. How can you make us wait that long?”

  He gave her an odd look, almost as though he appeared pained. “Uncle may have been ill for years, but he’s only been dead a few weeks. My family is still in mourning, and proprieties must be observed. There are others to think of here. By mid-August, my family will officially be out of mourning. I thought to have a small celebration toasting our engagement in London. We can marry immediately after if you’d like.” Upon seeing the look of disappointment on her face he added, “A couple of months is not that difficult to manage. And I promised your brother that I would not harm you during this time. Understood? So, despite to what you think you want, we will wait until after the wedding to share a bed.”

  He was rejecting her because of her brother. Turning away the offer of making love with her, when it was the only thing her body and her heart desired. “Damn him!” She raised off him, stood and began to pace the room. “Damn him, and damn you as well for your loyalty to that tyrannical, dictatorial brother of mine. Will you allow him to dictate to you after we wed?”


  “He is not dictating anything to me, Elise. I arrived at this arrangement on my own and informed him of what I intend. But, your brother is no fool. He saw what was happening right before his eyes. He just couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Why do you think he allowed us this opportunity?”

  She knew he was right, had even suspected as much. He came up behind her and turned her to him. And suddenly she knew. The desire in his eyes told her. He was holding himself back for her.

  “I know you feel this way now, but one day you’ll see the wisdom of what I ask of us. It’s only two months, Elise. We can manage.” His stressed words confirmed that this was no easier on him than it was on her.

  “I’m frustrated and angry. Partly with you, but mostly with myself.” She swiped a tear, and sucked in a deep breath and held it, forcing the rest of them away. “I’m ashamed of myself that I forgot you are in mourning. I am also angry with you, Michael. You have come to this conclusion without consulting me at all. It seems that you and my brother arranged everything this morning. And now you see fit to dictate your plans to me, not earlier in the carriage, not while we were walking through the barns, but now.

  “Michael, you have given no consideration as to how I would feel about any of this. In your usual authoritative manner, you dictated and expected me to blindly agree. Well, I don’t.” She quit pacing and thrust her hands on her hips, wanting to explain to him further why she was angry, but her emotions were becoming so jumbled inside that all she could see was his rejection. Rejection, and choosing to live by this silly code of honor. He wanted her as well, she could feel it, yet he would choose honor over their desire.

  She would not cry. Would. Not. Cry.

  “I... I...” She stuttered. Something she hadn’t done in years. “Goodnight.” As she turned to flee the room her eyes were beginning to swim in tears and she tripped over a chair. Michael was at her side in one leap, keeping her from falling.

  “You think it’s easy for me?” He held her close, her back to him. She felt him press his lips to the top of her head as she melted into him. “Since realizing I want you, I have had to justify my change of heart not only to myself but also to your brother who is your guardian whether you like it or not.” His hands roved upward from her waist, to cup and mold themselves to her breasts. “I want you so badly I hurt.” Her skin shivered as his hot breath moved down to her ear, then her neck which she stretched to give him easier access to her naked flesh.

 

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