by Rachel Sabor
"A date."
"Yeah."
"Sure." Her eyes went wide after she said it. She hadn't even though about it. She hadn't intended to say yes. Although, of course, she would've said yes regardless, but she didn't like that she had just blurted it out.
"Good. I'll need your phone number." They exchanged numbers, and it felt very mechanical, very remote. Amy should've felt giddy. Wasn't this what she wanted? But as she left Cale to go to her club, she couldn't help but feel a bit terrified, and she did not like feeling terrified.
#
The fear went away after only a few minutes. They had gotten together at a rather nice Italian place named Gugino's. Thought pricey, both had had a little extra money from recent ventures, and decided to spend it upon one another.
After the initial awkwardness of meeting up at the restaurant, they moved past it. For Amy, it felt as if nothing had changed between them, and they were the friends they had been four months ago. They joked, laughed, and talked for hours, and after their waiter had asked them for the ninth time if there would be anything else they needed, did they consider leaving.
"So how is everything back at Carrie Cares?" Amy asked. She had already brought up the place a few times, but she enjoyed hearing about everyone, especially those she didn't see so much anymore.
"Good, good," Cale said. "Everyone's busy and happy. We've got a fund raiser coming up in a few weeks. You should come, it'd be great for everyone to see you again."
"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I think I will. Maybe I'll even help out."
Cale gave her a cocky grin. "Did you miss me so much that you're thinking of coming back?"
"Don't kid yourself, I miss the work." She swatted his arm with her napkin. "Certainly not you."
He laughed and feigned being hurt. "Whatever you say, whatever you say." They chuckled until the noise died down and their waiter brought their check. "Yikes," Cale said, looking it over.
Amy took it from him and grinned. "It's not that bad."
Cale shrugged and pulled out his wallet. They divvied up the food and drinks for a bit, and then stood to go. Things quickly became awkward again. Not the walk out of the restaurant, and not the walk to their separate modes of transportation - Cale a car, and Amy a subway station - but once they reached them. "So," Cale said.
"So," she replied.
A cold gust of wind blew past them, and Amy took a step closer to Cale, bringing her light coat higher up over her shoulders. "Would you like to come see my place?" Cale asked, doing his best to keep a straight face and make the question seem nonchalant.
She looked up at him. She had been happy for the past few months. But tonight, with Cale, she had been even happier. Their arguments were over, their fights were done, the two of them were just there, bare before each other and smiling. "Yes," she said, knowing full well what it meant. "Yes, I would."
Cale smiled and took her hand.
The drive was slow but calm. Neither said much, but instead allowed themselves to be content with the pace of the car. The streetlights whizzed by, and Amy found herself a bit entranced by them. They were lovely, she realized. Just another part of the world she had overlooked for too long, something she hadn't allowed herself to experience.
Cale's apartment had the hasty look of something someone quickly cleaned. "Were you expecting me?" Amy teased when they walked inside. It was bigger than she had thought. The living room had a couch and television, and a PC stacked on a desk in the corner. Hardwood floor creaked under her shoes, but Cale led her through the room, past the kitchen, and into his own.
His room was tiny, and had the same look of being quickly cleaned. She saw evidence of his prior sloppiness however. A sock still on the floor, and a shirt hastily tossed under the bed, a pile of papers shoved into the corner. She laughed a little. Most of his furniture wasbookshelves, filled with paperbacks falling all over each other. The rest of the place seemed fairly tiny. "Nice," she said, with a mock approving nod.
"Thanks a lot," he said, rolling his eyes. He stood there then, looking at her. She looked at him, and bit her lower lip. That seemed enough to spur him on, because he closed the distance between the two of them, and kissed her.
She kissed him back, and they both wrapped each other in their arms. "I missed you," Cale said, breaking for a moment to say the words.
All Amy could do was smile back.
After they had both finished, the two lay in a mess of covers in Cale's bed, staring at the dark ceiling. "Hope we didn't wake my roommates," Cale said.
Amy groaned. "That's the first thing you thought of after?"
"No," Cale said. He turned to her. "You really want to know what I thought of once we were done?" She rolled her eyes when she saw the look he gave her.
"Men," she exclaimed.
They lay in each others arms for a bit longer, until Cale finally said, "So, would you like to get together tomorrow too?"
"Sure," Amy said, snuggling up a bit closer to him. "I'd like that a lot." She didn't have to look at his face to tell how wide Cale's grin was.
#
One Year Later
Amy crested the top of the hill and turned back to Cale. "Come on," she called, waving him on.
The air had a chill, but the weather had remained warmer for longer this year. Still, the two wore jackets over their shirts, and leggings made of heat-keeping technology. When they had first started to hike together, they had nearly suffered disaster from being underprepared.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Cale called out, leveling out a few seconds later. "Give me a break, would you?"
They stood side by side, and Amy slid her hand into Cale's. The sun was still high, and though sunsets were Amy's favorite view, she couldn't deny that the mountain range the sun illuminated was spectacular. A bird - she couldn't tell what kind - circled overhead a short distance. She smiled up at it. "This is great," she said.
"Yeah," Cale said, nodding. "It always takes my breath away."
Amy sat up at night sometimes, thinking that she wouldn't recognize herself from a year ago. She had a management position, a great boyfriend, a ton of friends. It amazed her that it only took a single, great year to accomplish all this, and it depressed her too. It depressed her because she could've gotten a start much earlier in her life.
Still, she had so much time ahead of her, and she intended to use it.
"You're getting that look again," Cale said. He knew how to recognize what she was thinking. "Cheer up."
"You're right," Amy said. "Sorry." She had to stop mulling over the past. It wasn't worth it. She enjoyed her time with Cale and their friends and her new job. Things were good. Not perfect, because nothing ever was, but very good.
She still shuddered when she thought of herself with Brad. She had seen him not too long ago. He worked at a gas station, and didn't even recognize her when she went to pay. Amy had stared at him a bit overlong, but he hadn't even tried to use it to flirt with her. It didn't disgust her, but it felt odd to see him like that.
"Seriously," Cale said, a worried look on his face. "You okay?"
She turned to him and kissed him. Then she rested her head on her shoulder. "I'm just thinking about how things were a year ago."
"I've been thinking about all that too," Cale said.
"I wonder if I'm ever going to get away from who I was."
"You already have."
"But she still exists within me, to a certain degree."
"We've all got things in our past that sting or piss us off," Cale replied, putting his arm around her and drawing her closer. "What matters is that we did something about it."
"I did do something about it, didn't I?"
Cale kissed her forehead. "You did, Amy. You really did."
They stayed with the view for a while, only going home when the sun began to set.
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