‘You nearly killed our children, Nathan. I’m still not sure I’m finished dealing with that yet.’
‘It was an accident, Laura. Very scary and I feel terrible about it but, in the end, everyone is fine, thank God, and it was an accident.’
‘One that wouldn’t have happened if you’d behaved normally. Instead you had to drag them away from me. I can’t believe you let that weirdo steal my children, Nathan.’
‘What are you on about? She never stole anything.’
‘Oh, really? Whose idea was it to get the camper van?’
‘Motorhome.’
‘Whatever. It was her idea, wasn’t it?’
‘Well, yeah, I suppose.’
‘And it was her idea to snatch the girls back instead of behaving like a normal sane person and sitting down and talking about it rationally?’
‘You didn’t want to talk about it, Laura. You said I wouldn’t get to see them for months—’
‘Weeks.’
‘You said weeks or months.’
‘And you automatically assumed the worst, as usual. So, I say again, whose idea was it to snatch the children?’
‘Well …’
‘Yeah, it would’ve been her. Sorry, Nathan, you don’t have the imagination.’
‘That’s not fair. She’s been great with the girls and they really like her.’
‘She’s got the girls being all naughty. They want to go outside and get dirty all the time.’
Nathan stifled a laugh.
‘And then you all did that TV thing. That really, really pissed me off. At that point I started listening to Simon’s lawyer and started the process of getting you completely excluded from the girls’ lives. Up until that point my thinking had been that I wanted you to have access to them whenever you wanted, eventually, but it all changed after that little episode aired. Whose idea would that have been? As if I couldn’t guess.’
‘Well, her friend’s, I think.’
‘I think you can see a pattern here, Nathan. That girl’s not good for you. She’s devious, and full of terrible ideas that put both my girls and you in harm’s way.’
‘You haven’t explained what you think she’d gain by being nice to the girls.’
‘Well, for a start she’d get you on her side and then maybe as time went on … I bet she’s broke. I don’t think working in a morgue pays all that well.’
‘How do you know she works in a morgue?’
‘Millie told me.’
‘Why is everything down to money with you?’
‘It is with most people, Nathan, just not you. She’d get to move into a nice flat and—’
‘She says she hates our flat. That it’s in Dumbiedykes.’
‘It’s in Holyrood.’
‘That’s what I told her.’
‘She probably wants you to move, buy a little place that she can put her own stamp on – can you imagine what her taste would be like, all dark and creepy Halloween Land? Makes me wince just thinking about it. Then she’d turn our beautiful little girls into messy punk-type things—’
‘Goth, she’s Goth, and I don’t think it’s hereditary.’
‘Doesn’t matter, that’d be her plan. I can tell from what the girls have already told me about her and how they’ve been behaving since they met her, and that’ll just be phase one.’
‘I think you’re overreacting here, that—’
‘Am I? Well, stage two would be marrying you, then she’d have a ready-made little family. How else could a girl like that snare a nice man and have children?’
‘Kat’s beautiful. She’d have no problems finding anyone. She’s—’
‘She’s a freak, Nathan. She’s what? Thirty-something—’
‘Twenty-nine.’
‘Whatever, she looks older and yet still dresses and behaves like a moody teenager. That’s not the sort of role model I want for my girls. She would’ve known that and that’s why she decided to snatch the kids away from me. She’d know I’d never allow you access to them with her around.’
‘You’re just twisting everything, Laura. You were the one who decided that I couldn’t see them. You never once mentioned anything about Kat.’
‘I didn’t know how she’d wormed her way into your life at that point, did I? Don’t you think it’s odd that she wants to go out with someone she found in the morgue? I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d been interfering with you while you were lying in there dead or asleep or whatever the hell you were. She probably makes a habit of it.’
‘She wouldn’t do stuff like that. Don’t be horrible.’
‘How do you know? They’re probably all freaks in there. Imagine working with dead people all day and night. That would make you weird if you weren’t weird already.’
‘Laura, me taking the girls had nothing to do with her. I discovered that I might be able to live without you, but not without my girls. My plan had been to return after a week and you’d hopefully realise at that point that you were wrong to do what you’d done and would let me take them home to Edinburgh. But then it turned into a war and—’
‘You lost,’ she said triumphantly.
‘I did, and you were mean and evil.’
Laura nodded and lowered her eyes. This time the tears came for real, and she let them run down her face. ‘I agree. I was so angry at you and at that woman.’
She paused and said in a soft voice, ‘I’ve not been fair on you recently, I know that, so I can’t blame you for feeling that way.’ She sniffed and dried her eyes with her sleeve. ‘I was very young when we met, Nathan. I didn’t get to do what other girls my age did. I never got to learn who I really was or who I wanted to be, I just became Mrs Jones and a mother, or, at least, I tried to be a mother.’
‘What do you mean “tried”? I’ve never criticised you in that regard.’
‘You didn’t criticise but I never really got to be one, not on my terms anyway.’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You don’t get it, do you? You always stepped in with the girls, doing the fun stuff with them that I should have been doing, like soft-play, swimming, and swing parks etc.’
Nathan thought that over. ‘Maybe there’s a bit of truth in that, but I just filled the void because you were more interested in work.’
‘I wouldn’t have had to work so much if you’d earned more.’
‘Why does it always come down to money? Why is it so important? And why should I miss my girls growing up? Why should I spend every day locked away in an office somewhere missing everything?’
‘Because that’s the way the world works, Nathan.’ Laura sighed. ‘I think it’s wonderful you’ve been so hands-on with the girls, but I paid the price for that. I must admit I’m not the most maternal of women – it’s just the way I’m made, I guess. But I really believe that, had I not had to work as hard, we would have had a better family life and consequently a better relationship.’
Nathan sighed. ‘What do you want, Laura?’
‘Something’s come up, at work. They want me to return to Edinburgh and run the Scottish operation; there’s a lot of investment opportunities in the oil and offshore exploration sector now, what with the low price and oil companies looking for different ways to invest and grow. I know you’re not interested in all that, but the fact is that most of the oil-and-gas-related firms are based in Scotland or Scandinavia, so I’d be back in Edinburgh. I’d need to travel to Aberdeen and other places, but for you it would mean the girls would be nearby and you could look after them when I’m working.’
‘Cheap childcare?’
‘That’s mean, Nathan – they’re your girls.’
‘I know, Laura, and I’m not disagreeing with you, but all you can see is a way for you to work while not worrying about them.’
‘Yeah, but it would solve our current impasse, wouldn’t you say?’
‘It would.’
‘There’s something else.’
Nathan watched his wife ta
ke a deep breath and compose herself. ‘I’ll be on a much bigger salary, so the plan would be to buy a nice big house somewhere. I’ve started looking and I’m going to view a few places next week.’
‘For you and Oodles and the girls to live in? That’ll be nice for you all.’
Laura laughed. ‘Yeah, well, there’s no Oodles any more.’
‘He dumped you when you told him about moving?’
‘He doesn’t know, and I dumped him.’ Laura took a deep breath and said while exhaling, ‘I had grown quite close to Simon, I don’t mind admitting that, but there were certain things that didn’t add up.’
‘That’s probably not good for an accountant. Like what?’
Laura managed a sad smile at his joke. ‘He was very keen for us to all get together and be a family. Initially, I liked the idea. I thought I might be able to recreate what you and I had at the beginning; you know, the whole “loving family” thing.’
‘That’s why you were so keen to have the girls with you?’
‘Maybe a little, but I missed them too. It’s amazing what you miss when you don’t have it any more – you really don’t know until it happens. But, yes, the whole idea of starting over with Simon appealed. I don’t like being alone.’
‘You said you left because you wanted to be on your own.’
‘I said I needed space.’
‘Are they not the same thing?’
‘Not at all. Anyway, even up until the courthouse scene the other day I was keen.’
‘That’s why you were so angry about me taking the girls – it threatened your little family love-nest with Oodles.’
‘I wish you’d stop calling him that.’
‘I’ll try.’
‘Thank you. I suppose that’s why I also got angry with Millie – she was threatening the whole plan, but I’m digressing. Oodles … Simon – you’ve got me doing it now – egged me on to go on TV and stuff, including the enforcement order. I started to sense that he had an unhealthy obsession with the girls.’
‘That’s weird, and disturbing.’
‘Agreed, but not for the reasons you might think. He’s been divorced for five years, but always changed the subject when I asked him about it. Then after our encounter at the court, Simon and I went out for dinner, I needed to try and relax. We had a few drinks and he opened up about his ex-wife and what had happened.’
Chapter 29
‘What happened?’
‘He and Sarah, his wife, met at university. They’d been together for five years when they got married – he proposed on holiday in Barbados, sitting in a restaurant overlooking the ocean. How romantic is that?’
‘Yeah, lovely, what’s that got to do with anything?’
‘Sorry, anyway … yes, so they got married and she fell pregnant almost immediately.’
‘Sounds familiar.’
‘Well, at least they got married first.’
Nathan smiled. ‘Fair point.’
‘They had a little girl, Abigail, and they both doted on her.’
‘I didn’t know he had kids.’
‘No, neither did I, until this point.’
‘That’s not something you generally hide, is it?’
‘No. He had his reasons and, looking back now, I can probably see why, but he should have been honest about it.’
Nathan knew his wife well enough not to interrupt at this point. Laura continued.
‘Just before she was about to start school, Abigail developed a condition called abdominal neuroblastoma, effectively a rare form of cancer. They caught it early but, even so, it spread and, to cut a long and very painful story short, she died six months later, in her mother and father’s arms at home.’
Nathan thought about his own children. ‘Poor man.’
Laura sniffed back some tears. ‘Yeah. He and his wife split up soon after. I’m not sure many marriages could survive that but thankfully I’m not in a position to judge.’
‘And you dumped him after he told you that?’
Laura smiled. ‘Not precisely at that moment, no. I’m not quite that heartless despite what you think of me, but the next day I explained that I didn’t think his obsession with my girls was healthy.’
‘What did he say?’
‘He wasn’t happy, but he understood my point of view, and acknowledged he was trying to recreate something that he’d lost.’
‘Isn’t that what you were trying to do?’
She nodded. ‘Exactly. Not healthy, whichever way you look at it.’
Nathan tried to think that through, but could only feel pity and sympathy for Oodles. It didn’t matter how much money you had, some things just couldn’t be bought.
Then Laura dropped her bombshell. ‘Nathan, despite all our troubles, I’ve decided to take you back. I want us to start over.’
Nathan was stunned and stared open-mouthed at the woman who remained his wife (just). ‘What?’
Laura smiled sadly and pushed a stray hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. ‘I want you back. I want us back – together as a family.’
Nathan couldn’t believe it. ‘What about all that’s happened over the last few weeks … the last few months? And all the stuff like: “we’re broken, we can’t be fixed, I need my space and my husband is evil”?’
‘I don’t think I ever said you were evil and I’ve had some time to think.’
‘Some time to shag, you mean?’
Laura at least had the decency to blush. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve not laid a finger on your punk girl.’
‘Goth, she’s a Goth.’
Laura shook her head. ‘Goth, punk, vampires, they all dress bloody weird so what’s the difference? Anyway, she’d have been all over you when you were away together. It’d have been part of her plan.’
‘We had the girls with us.’
‘You’re saying you’ve not slept with her?’
Nathan didn’t speak. Laura smiled. ‘See, got you. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what we’ve both done, I want us back together, but this time, before you say anything, it’ll be different. Especially now we can live somewhere nicer and money won’t be such an issue.’
Nathan remembered what Kat had said. ‘Is all this because somebody else wants me? You’ve realised that maybe I’m not such a bad person if someone else is interested?’
‘Nathan, I found it very hard to live with you. It’s true, part of that maybe could be put down to you not earning enough money to provide the sort of things I thought I needed. Then, after spending time with Simon, who’s wealthy but what he needs money can’t fix, I realised that what you are is genuine.’
‘Genuine?’
‘Yeah, genuine. Simon wasn’t genuine; nobody I work with is genuine. They’re all too wrapped up in themselves – you don’t even notice yourself. I know that doesn’t sound very good, but what I mean is that all your focus is outward to the girls, me – whoever. You don’t need anything, really. You don’t know how nice and attractive you are – you hardly ever look in the mirror.’
‘I look in the mirror every morning when I shave.’
‘That’s not what I mean. Anywhere we went, Simon would stop and look at himself. I would too, and when we were together Simon would want to stop and look at us as a couple or as a family group with the girls in shop windows, in mirrored lifts – you get the picture?’
‘I think he needs some professional help.’
‘Probably, but with you, there’s none of that, and that’s why I fell in love with you all those years ago, and over time I lost sight of what really mattered and what I had. You wear your heart on your sleeve and I didn’t realise how special that is. You’re a bit like blood.’
‘Sorry?’
‘Well, I don’t like the sight of blood, I don’t like the smell of it very much, but I can’t survive without it.’
‘That’s the sort of thing Kat would come out with.’
‘Well, maybe we’ve got more in common than you think. The thing is, Na
than, I’m the mother of your children – we are a family, no matter what else is going on. I believe now that’s what we all need to be again. We need to be a family. That way we can all heal together.’
‘In a nice big house somewhere?’
‘In a nice big house somewhere.’
‘I’m in love with Kat.’
‘I don’t think you are or you wouldn’t be here.’
‘I only came because she told me to.’
‘Why?’
‘She needed to be sure that I wanted to be with her.’
‘She’s a lot brighter than I gave her credit for. Maybe she does love you, that’s why she told you to come – she wants you to be happy no matter the cost to her. That’s what love truly is.’
‘How would you know that?’
‘I sacrificed my youth for you, Nathan, I gave away those years to be with you, so I know. I also gave up Simon to be with you, and, despite his issues, that’s still a big step for me. I promise this time it will be different. I’ve been away from you and what we had, and I now know how valuable and unique that is. I will really work hard to be the sort of wife you want, the sort of wife I used to be. It’ll be easier because we both know what’s at stake this time. As much as I tried to forget about you, I couldn’t; you still haunt my dreams and, whether I like it or not, there’s something about you that pulls me back. I know you feel it too. I can tell just by looking at you and by the way you look at me.’
‘Laura, there used to be a time when I was so crazy head over heels in love with you that if I’d owned the world I’d have given it to you just to see the smile of utter joy the gift would bring. I loved you totally and unconditionally but that wasn’t enough for you. Some people are lucky enough to find someone they adore and want to be with forever, most never do. I thought I had found nirvana with you, but I hadn’t because total love wasn’t enough for you. You needed more stuff.’
‘Stuff?’
‘Stuff.’
‘I’m not going to argue with you, Nathan. I’m not proud of myself, but then I still think I did the right thing. I needed to get away for a while to see what life would be like without you and I now realise that I made a mistake, but I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t gone so in a way it makes sense, maybe not to you, but to me.
The Second Life of Nathan Jones Page 23