by Callie Cole
“Julian, I don’t understand. I thought my note was perfectly clear.”
“Well, that’s the point, Jordan: It isn’t clear. I know you feel something still. I know it. What I don’t understand is why you are trying so damn hard to deny it. Is it the money? Really? Are we back there again?”
“No. It’s not that. That was a stupid thing for me to say to you years ago. I’m not the same woman you were in love with three years ago, Julian. I’ve gone through some things, and I’ve changed.”
“Maybe you have changed, Jordan, but some things are still the same. Like the fact that you’re still in love with me, just as much as I’m still in love with you.”
I can’t be this close to her and not touch her. It’s just not possible. I move to her and pull her into me. My cock throbbing, growing hard, I need her to feel it.
“Do you feel that, Jordan? Do you feel how hard I am right now? That’s because of you. It’s because I want to be inside you so badly that I’m seconds away from fucking you up against this desk.”
“Julian. Please. Someone will hear you.”
“Do you think I give a damn where we are? I don’t care if they hear me. I want them to. I want them to hear you moan with pleasure. I want to open the blinds so they can see how badly we want each other. Does Mackenzie Hale do that for you, Jordan? Do you feel passion for this place like nothing else in this world can give you? Because that’s what it’s going to take. You’re going to need to figure out what the fuck it is you want. What gets your nipples hard and your pussy wet? I already know I do it for you, but what about the rest of your life? What’s it going to take to get through to you?”
I rip the buttons off her silk blouse and unhook her bra. Her full soft, white breasts fall, begging for my mouth. I suck on her nipples as she cries out for me not to stop. I don’t stop. In fact, I pull her skirt up, grab the scissors on her desk and cut her panties off her body.
I pull my hard cock out of my Armani pants, and turning her around, I spread her legs and enter her. Not taking my time, and not being gentle, I thrust inside her. Jordan pushes against my cock, this time pleading for me to fuck her deeper. My hands holding her waist, I pull harder as I slam into her, over and over again, calling her name as we come together.
For a moment, neither of us can speak. Breathing heavy, I reach around and hold her tight. We stay in that position for a minute before Jordan speaks.
“You have to go. Please, Julian.”
I put my cock back into my pants and wait for Jordan to say something, anything to explain why she is still resisting her feelings for me. When she doesn’t, I walk to the door. Looking back at her, I see that she is still panting, her face flushed red.
“I think I know you, Jordan, maybe better than anyone else. If you can tell me right now that you don’t love me, I will walk out of this office and never bother you again. Tell me you don’t love me.”
“Loving you isn’t the point, Julian. Sometimes it takes a while to realize you’re in the wrong relationship, but by then, you’re in love and you stay for all the wrong reasons. I don’t want to do that. I can still love you and believe we shouldn’t be together.”
“I don’t know what that means, but I can tell you this. Our love for each other is the only thing that matters here. I hope you realize that before it’s too late.”
Fists clenching, I want to punch something or someone. Standing at the elevator, I can see Andrew Mackenzie is walking toward me.
“What are you doing here?”
“Don’t worry, I’m leaving.”
“Make sure you do.”
As he turns to walk away from me, I can’t hold my anger anymore.
“Do you have any idea what you have done to her?”
He turns and takes a step toward me.
“What did you say?”
“Your control over her is sick. There isn’t a thought or moment or decision that Jordan makes without first considering if it meets with your approval. She is twenty-nine years old. If she keeps going like this, her entire life will never be hers. Don’t you love her enough to let her go?”
“What Jordan does with her life is her decision, and the last I heard, she has made a decision not to be with you. That’s her call, not mine. Doesn’t that tell you something?”
With that, Andrew Mackenzie turns and walks away.
The elevator doors open, and I walk inside, trying to calm down.
When I get outside, the sting of the cold air feels good.
I need to feel something other than rage.
I decide to get a drink and find a favorite Irish pub down the street.
Once inside, the warmth of the fireplace and the laughter of the customers watching television helps me put aside my encounter with Jordan and her father.
There are a few guys at the end of the bar. Sitting at the other end, I order a beer and mindlessly watch a game show. The guys are laughing, and I can hear one of them bragging about some woman he insists is hot for him.
“Yeah, it won’t take long before she’s in my office begging for it.”
Another guy pipes up.
“Every guy in the firm wants a piece of that. They’ve even got a nickname for her. Jerry Matthews started it. They call her the Bombshell Boss.”
“I’ll tell you, with tits like those, I have a hard time keeping my focus on what she’s saying.”
“You’ve had her once before, right? Weren’t you seeing her last year?”
“It was impossible to say no with her daddy practically forcing me on her. I’m not in a hurry to get married, but I’m ready to be married to all that money, that’s for sure.”
I finish my beer and order another. Thinking about Jordan’s father, I’m getting angrier all over again.
Why can’t Jordan see her father for what he is? He doesn’t care about her. Not the way a father should.
The guys at the end of the bar are getting louder.
“Hey, bartender. Another round for my friends. We need to celebrate my staking a claim.”
The bartender looks at me and rolls his eyes as he brings the men their drinks. The blond can’t stop making an ass of himself.
“That’s right. You’re looking at the owner of a very rich woman. By the end of this week, Jordan Mackenzie will be in my office and on her knees.”
“What the fuck?”
I lunge after the blond asshole, punching him so hard he falls off the stool and onto the floor.”
“You stay away from Jordan. Do you understand me, you fucking moron? If you go near her or bother her or even look in her direction, I will fuck you up. Got it?”
He’s still on the floor, touching his bloody lip, and all he can do is nod.
I pay the bartender and walk out of the bar, feeling some satisfaction that I got to punch someone. Now my only concern is finding out what the hell that guy was talking about.
Chapter Nine
Julian
I wait until most of the employees at Mackenzie Hale have left for the night. I’m not done talking to Jordan. I need to understand who this guy is that she has dated and what he means when he said they would probably get married.
For several hours, I struggle with believing the things he said. It’s possible he’s just a jerk fantasizing about Jordan, and there’s nothing more to it. But the fact is she is pushing me away, and I never for a minute considered she might be doing that because of some guy she’s seeing.
But if Jordan is really dating this guy, she would have told me. What would she have to lose? She’s telling me to walk away but didn’t say anything about another guy. It would be the easiest thing to say if she wanted me to leave her alone. But she didn’t. That has to mean something.
I get in the elevator and take it to the Mackenzie Hale offices. Most of the lights are off, and the place looks deserted with the exception of a couple of lights. I make my way to Jordan’s office, but she’s not there.
She never leaves before her father. Maybe s
he’s in another part of the office.
I try to be quiet as I walk up and down the corridors. I don’t see Jordan anywhere. I walk back to her office to check one more time, when Andrew Mackenzie sees me.
“She’s gone home.”
“I need to talk to her.”
“What’s it going to take for you to get the message? She doesn’t want to see you.”
“Is Jordan seeing someone else?”
Mr. Mackenzie laughs at me.
“What is this, high school? What a child you are.”
“Jordan and I are going to be together, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop that.”
Andrew opens the top drawer of his desk and pulls out a checkbook.
“What’s it going to take, Julian? What is the magic number? You and I both know Jordan’s money and her family’s money is really what you’re after. So tell me, how much money will convince you to walk away?”
“Man, you are nothing if not predictable. I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to pull this move. The thing I can’t get my head around is how Jordan continues to need your love and approval. She’s spent her whole life trying to get your attention, and this is the best you can do? You can’t throw money at every problem. For the life of me, I can’t understand why Jordan doesn’t see you for the monster you are.”
When I don’t accept his money, Andrew has no choice but use the only ammunition he has left.
“The best thing I ever did was to get you out of her life. You would never have been able to take care of that child.”
“Best thing you ever did? What are you talking about? What child?”
Stunned, all I can do is stare at him.
He’s smiling, knowing he’s hit a nerve.
“Oh, didn’t you know? I guess Jordan must have forgotten to mention it. She was pregnant with your child three years ago. She was going to have the baby, but I convinced her to get an abortion. There was no way she would have been happy having your child. You never could have been a good father.
I wasn’t going to permit you to take Jordan from me. She deserves better than you and that child deserved better than you. She’ll have children in the future, with someone more successful.”
“You mean someone with money. That’s the only thing that matters to you. Money, and what it can buy. What kind of man are you? You’re not even human. To think you can stand there and tell me what it means to be a good father is sick. You’re no father. You’re a sick fuck.”
Andrew Mackenzie picks up the phone to call security.
“Don’t bother. I’m leaving this place and I won’t ever be back. Just what you’ve always wanted.”
I storm out of the building and don’t even feel the rain on my face. I’m furious that Jordan’s dependency on her father has gone so far as to take the life of our child.
How could Jordan do this? I’m so shocked that her father could convince her to have an abortion. This doesn’t sound anything like the woman I love. She couldn’t have done this. I have to talk to her. I have to hear her tell me that what her father said is true. Until then, I refuse to believe it.
Chapter Ten
Jordan
The rain against the window is a welcome sound. The sounds of wind and rain always calm my nerves. I sit on a sofa, curled up with my soft blanket feeling like a wounded child.
A psychiatrist would have a field day with that statement.
So much of my life has been directed by my father, and all because of an illness he can’t do anything about. It must be incredibly painful for him knowing that his money can’t fix this one. That’s been my problem from the start. Feeling bad for my father instead of nurturing myself isn’t helping me one bit.
I look at the art supplies on the coffee table, remembering how much I love to paint. My easel stands in the corner of the room with an unfinished canvas begging for attention. I’ll get to it one of these days, but for now, I need to rest.
Thinking about the last few days, I’m worried I won’t have the willpower to resist Julian much longer. I’ve loved him all these years, and everything I’ve done since we were together last, hasn’t kept me from wishing things were different. I’ve tried to think about how better his future would be without me, and that’s kept me going.
If I can’t be with him, at least I can love him the only way I know how.
As I start to fall asleep, a knock on my door startles me.
“Who is it?”
“Jordan, it’s me, Julian. I need to talk to you. Please let me in. it’s important.”
I open the door and see Julian standing in a puddle of water.
“My God. Did you walk all the way here? You are soaking. Come in. Let me get you a couple of towels. Maybe you should take off those clothes too. You’re soaked through. I’ll see if there is something you can put on. I’ve got some old baggy men’s clothes I bought for when I do some larger paint projects. They might fit.”
When I return with the towels and clothes, Julian seems upset. He doesn’t take the towels but instead stares at me.
“Is it true?”
“Is what true?”
“Did you have an abortion? Was the baby mine?”
“Where did you hear such a thing?”
“From your father. He told me three years ago when you and I were together. He said you got pregnant and he convinced you to have an abortion. Is it true?”
Tears start to well and I fight to keep from crying.
“No. It’s not true. I didn’t have an abortion. I had a miscarriage.”
Julian reaches for me, but I pull back.
“Here, take the towels and dry off in the other room. Change into these clothes and I’ll make us some tea.”
Julian goes into my bedroom, and I try to find the right words to explain.
What the hell is wrong with my father? Why did he tell Julian I had an abortion?
When Julian returns, we sit on the sofa, and I look into his eyes .
“It’s true, I was pregnant. Do you remember the day we had that horrible fight? You told me I’d make a lousy mother. Do you remember?”
“I shouldn’t have said that. I was angry and stupid.”
“I know you didn’t mean anything by it, but when you said that to me, I was already pretty upset because I had just found out I was pregnant. I was confused. I wanted the baby, but at the same time, I didn’t know how I was going to do that and climb the corporate ladder. I wanted to please my father, and having a child instead focusing on my career would have angered him.”
Julian looks over at the easel and smiles.
“You wanted to be an artist, Jordan. I can see you’re still painting. I’m glad.”
I stand and pace the room, continuing my story.
“I was at my parents’ house when I started to bleed. I hadn’t told them yet that I was pregnant. I was scared to say anything just yet, but now I had no choice. My mother wasn’t upset, but I could see the look of disappointment on my father’s face. We called the doctor and went to the hospital. By the time we got there, the baby was gone.”
I start to feel weak, my legs giving out from under me from the stress, so I sit next to Julian.
“The doctor was concerned about something that I didn’t understand, but he said he wanted to do a few tests and that they wanted me to stay in the hospital overnight.
I wasn’t too worried, but I could tell by the look on my mother’s face that something wasn’t right. They admitted me and that afternoon they did a few tests. The results came back the next morning. I had several tumors on my liver. I had cancer. I have cancer.”
Now his turn to cry, Julian looks at me and pulls me into his arms.
“No. Jordan. No.”
We hold each other for several minutes, not able to say more.
“What can I do? How can we beat this? We’re going to beat this. You’re strong, Jordan, but with me in your corner, together, nothing can beat us. Cancer won’t mess with me. I love you.
I’ve always loved you. We can do this together.”
I wipe the tears from his eyes.
“I love you too. I never stopped. I should have come to you years ago, but I think I let my father convince me that you wouldn’t be able to handle it. I thought the best thing I could do for you would be to walk away.
There are no guarantees with this illness. No matter what they say. This cancer is very rare and is slow growing. It’s so slow growing that I might die from something else before the cancer will kill me. But we don’t know that for certain.
What they do know is that I shouldn’t get pregnant again. If I were to try to get pregnant it could make the cancer grow much faster. I can’t take that risk.”
Julian smiles and pushes my hair from my face.
“Ever hear of a little thing called adoption? We can adopt. We have so much love between us, that’s all that matters. You will make a wonderful and amazing mother. That I’m sure of.”
Julian takes my hands in his.
“Jordan, more importantly, you need to know that I support whatever you want to do as far as your career goes. If you really love what you do, that’s the most important thing. I’ll try to get along with your father as best I can, but I’m more concerned with your happiness. Are you happy at Mackenzie Hale? Is it really your dream, or your father’s?”
“I think my father has become so much more protective of me since the diagnosis. He thinks Mackenzie Hale can solve every problem, even cancer. But no, Julian, it’s not my dream. I think you’ve known that all along.”
I look over at my easel and smile.
“Do you want to know what my dream is, Julian? It’s to take a leave of absence from Mackenzie Hale and find out exactly who Jordan Mackenzie is.
Painting has always been a way for me to get in touch with my feelings. I’d like to take some time to paint and to explore what I want my future to look like.
Some things are unknown to me right now, but there is something I’ve been certain of for a long time, and that’s that I want you by my side through it all.”