But maybe Luke will be more impressed.
It’s been more than a week since we’ve spoken. He probably thinks I’ve left the country. Will he be happy to see me? Will he be happy I’ve stayed?
Yes. Yes, I’m sure he will.
I retrieve the $1,200 watch I bought him from the room’s safe. I wrap it in shimmery gold paper and tuck it into my purse, then smooth down my hair and set off to see him.
If I can make him love me, if I can make him want me to stay, then I’ll do my very best to love him back.
CHAPTER 50
“I don’t get it.” I peek over the crowd of shoulders to get another look at the squishy brown face. “Is she cute?”
“Yes!” Luke assures me. “She’s gorgeous! She’s perfect.”
“I’m pretty sure she’s squashed beyond all help.”
He covers his mouth with a hand to hide his laughter. “Don’t let anyone else hear you say that. My niece is definitely the most beautiful newborn in the world.”
“Sure, that may be fair. They’re all really weird-looking.”
Luke holds his phone high to take another picture.
Three of Isaiah’s sisters have held the baby, and now it’s Uncle Luke’s turn. I take his phone from him so I can snap a dozen pictures of him with his first niece. I still don’t think she’s cute, but Luke is definitely adorable. The whole crowd is oohing and aahing over his crooked grin and tear-filled eyes.
He looks down at tiny Holly, and suddenly her eyes open a little and she focuses on his face. The family swoons and a dozen cameras click. Luke beams at her. “Look at that. She likes me. Hello, little Holly. Hello.”
Once she closes her eyes again, he gestures toward me and I shake my head. I don’t want to hold the baby, so he hands Holly to one of Isaiah’s brothers.
“Sorry,” he says as he wipes tears from his cheek. “I’m a mess.” I shake my head. I don’t understand babies, but this is like the touching end of a TV season, and I understand that. This is the wrap-up that brings the whole cast together and makes the viewer sigh.
It’s a happy ending. Even for me.
I have a place here now. I have Luke’s family. His friends. It’s more than I’ve ever had before.
I’d say I can be myself with Luke, but I’m still not quite sure what my self is. Sometimes I feel real, but mostly I feel like I’m just enjoying a good TV show.
That’s okay, though. That’s enough for now. I often felt the same way with Meg. I can make this work. I love Luke. And I’m learning to take care of him in my own way.
I still keep an eye on Steven, of course. Not literally. The camera batteries ran out a month after I blew his world to smithereens.
I wasn’t checking in often at that point, but I knew he still hadn’t spoken to his father, and his brother had cut him off too. The family is broken apart and divided. Pastor Hepsworth has lost his firstborn son. And his wife. And his authority. Steven has lost his hero and his career and everything he held dear in the world.
In January he sold his house and moved to Omaha, Nebraska. He’s an assistant manager at a fast-food place there. He’ll work his way up to manager, I’m sure, and he’ll be a big man in a little world again. But he’ll never, ever be the same. He’ll never feel safe.
Good.
The church closed for two months and then reopened under the guidance of one of the other deacons. It has a new name and a new sign, and any mention of the Hepsworth family has been wiped from the website and newsletter.
Just like me, they never existed.
When I drive by on Sunday mornings, the church parking lot isn’t nearly as full as it used to be. I hope every time someone mentions the weakness of women, the parishioners all picture the behavior of the Hepsworth men. I hope they imagine it in great detail.
Rhonda filed for divorce. It’s not final yet, but she moved to Florida already.
Pastor Hepsworth is working at a call center. He goes by plain old Robert now. I bet no one calls him “Daddy” anymore either.
None of them are dead, so I’d say they’re all just fine. They’re better off than Meg, aren’t they?
Today is February seventeenth. It’s been a full year since she died. My grief has grown more muffled, finally. These days I only feel it when I take it out to remember her.
Someday soon I think it might leave forever, but I’m spending the day with Luke’s family, the way I should have spent time with hers, so tonight I’ll go home to the condo I rent near Luke’s place and I’ll watch my videos. I’ll watch myself with Steven. I’ll play over and over the scene of him lying naked and vulnerable under my blade and I’ll let myself imagine that I killed him then. It helps the sorrow.
Luke is doing great, at least. We’ve only been a couple for a few months now, so he doesn’t miss being with a real girl yet. Someday he might.
And me? Well. I’m fine. I sold my place in Kuala Lumpur. My cat likes the new condo. I’m working in a downtown Minneapolis law firm under my real name. It’s a good place for me. I like the office politics and I’m great at negotiation. I love knowing I won, and I almost always win.
And I have Luke now. He’s mine the way that Meg was, and I’ll never let anyone hurt him.
I’m content. In fact, I’m happy. Really happy. I feel almost peaceful.
The door to the private family hospital room opens, and Luke’s mother walks in to meet her first grandchild. When I catch her eye, her delighted smile fades. She wants to glare at me, but she only looks away and pastes her smile back in place.
She’s been hanging around a lot. Helping Isaiah and Johnny set up a nursery. Inserting herself into their lives. She tried to weasel back into Luke’s life too, but he found it very upsetting, so I drove up to her place in Bemidji for a little chat, just one girl to another. She was quite surprised to wake up and find me standing over her bed, but I think I got through to her.
I love Luke the way I loved Meg, and I’ve learned my lesson. I am the strong one. It’s my job to protect. I see that now.
She offers Luke a quick wave from across the room, but she stays close to Johnny and the baby. I know she’ll be on her best behavior. I know she won’t ever upset Luke again.
I love him, so I’ve made sure of it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Victoria Helen Stone (nom de plume of USA Today bestselling romance novelist Victoria Dahl) is the author of Evelyn, After and Half Past. Born and educated in the Midwest, she finished her first manuscript just after college. In 2016, she was the recipient of the American Library Association’s prestigious Reading List Award. After publishing more than twenty-five books, she has taken a turn toward the darker side of genre fiction.
Having escaped the plains of her youth, she now resides with her family in a small town high in the Rocky Mountains, where she enjoys hiking, snowshoeing, and not skiing (too dangerous). For more on the author and her work, visit www.VictoriaHelenStone.com and www.VictoriaDahl.com.
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