He fondles the inside of me, just barely, with his right hand, while his left massages my waist. His lips continue to pat my neck and then below my ear.
I'm shivering, but not from cold.
My entire skin breaks out in goose pimples.
My heart skitters.
My bottom lip trembles. My mouth goes dry and my nether lips engorge so that I feel the tightness in me. The sudden ache to let go and release.
I need him inside me!
I try and turn but he stops me.
He slides his finger out of me and I whimper loudly. Then he massages my wetness over my oversensitive nub, just touching it slightly so that another feminine sound escapes me.
He slides my coat off. Takes off my hat.
He moves me onto his bed and I lie back on it. I still have my sweater on, and my shirt.
My legs are straight and closed. I'm a little nervous. I haven't been with a man in so long...
He undoes his belt, all the while looking at me, staring at me.
He peels off his slacks and then his boxers. And there he is. Huge and gleaming and ready.
He rips off his shirt so that the buttons pop and throws it to the ground. He walks forward and puts a knee on the bed in front of me, prowling toward me.
"Wait," I say.
He stops, a little confused.
"I promised you something."
I put my hands to the seam of my pullover to get it off. Emotion wells up in me and I look at the wall. I freeze. My hands don't move. My body goes into a paralyzed shock.
Suddenly I'm super-aware of the room, super-aware of his eyes on me. Super-aware of my almost naked body.
Before I know it, he parts my legs gently and slides his own in between them. I feel the tip of his manhood just caress my slit below. His lips are by my ear and his body presses against mine. "Keep it on," he whispers.
"No. I want you to see. I just need some help."
He looks me in the eyes and all time stops for a second. I know he sees the fear in them, the quiver, the terror.
"OK," he says.
He starts easing my pullover off but I find myself holding it down.
"Gen, you don't need to—"
"No, I have an idea." I take his hand and ease it up under my pullover. I take his fingers and make him feel the raised scar.
My skin chills.
I move them across from the one side of the scar to the other. All the while I'm looking in his eyes, looking to see if I can gauge his reaction.
Then my strength falters. He's the first one to experience this part of me so closely.
I stop moving his fingers.
I'm bare now. Truly naked. It feels as if a wall has been shattered around me and I can now be shot down with only a feather.
He slides his head down my chest, then over my stomach.
He licks me once at the top of my pubis. Then again.
Then he lifts the pullover and shirt up, slowly, his tongue following closely behind. His tongue touches the scar. Only the tip of it. He laps once over it. It's warm and kind and hungry. Flat-tongued he licks the length of it.
I finally let go of the pullover and let him take it off me. Then he unclasps my bra.
And now I really am naked.
But it doesn't feel like it anymore.
-4-
I love you, I think.
I love you.
I shift my butt just a fraction up and I see him smile as I do it. He knows what I want.
He moves his head down between my crotch.
When his hot tongue licks the length of my lips, the orgasm begins.
I howl!
It takes me by surprise. I start to convulse and he clutches my butt and holds me into him as it completely takes over me. The pressure releases and explodes and I'm shuddering and bursting while he mouths me and kisses me and licks me.
I wail and whimper with stinging pleasure.
There's another sudden twang of satisfaction and I give a quick jolt.
Then I stop.
And I exhale.
His mouth is still on my crotch. I hear its wetness as he tastes me. His tongue and lips are warm and caressing and soothing. "It's been too long," I say, embarrassed.
He doesn't reply.
He looks up at me from below, a naughty grin on his face. The grin says one thing and one thing only: Now it's my turn.
-5-
He gets up off the bed and for a second I wonder what's happening. He opens up a drawer and grabs a rubber.
His gaze is a searing laser. "You're beautiful," he says.
I can't respond. I find my finger easing down to my scar robotically but he doesn't even bother commenting on it, as if there's simply nothing there to see. Or as if it were as normal as my ear or my nose or one of my fingers.
He kneels between my legs. His cock looks even harder now. It shines with need. Veiny and bulging and glistening and red.
And ready.
He slides the rubber on and I feel moisture escape me instantly. I bite my lip, waiting.
He grabs my hands and lifts me up toward him. We kiss. The tip of his cock every now and then jerks and touches me on the navel.
I grab it with my hand but he shoots back, shakes his head. "You're not the only one who's waited for this," he says. "I'm afraid I won't impress you with any sort of stamina today."
His honesty melts me and I'm immediately tight and ready again. "Ax, you just made me so fucking horny by saying that."
He kisses my nipples until they hurt. Every kiss, every bite, sends lightning fire down to my center until I find myself pulling at his waist to just enter me!
I hook my heels behind his hamstrings. I pull him to me by his armpits.
But he doesn't budge.
I stop with the hints and take the direct approach. "Axle, now. I want you to fuck me, now!"
He looks at me and smiles.
Then he kisses my nipple again.
My stomach feels like there's a truck pushing up against it. My chest clenches.
My sounds fill the air with every lick of his against my skin.
He puts his hands underneath my butt, one under each cheek, and lifts me! He pushes my crotch against his abs and he rubs me against them, my body held up mutually by his hands under my ass and my own hands on the bed behind me.
"Oh, God, I'm gonna come again." I start rubbing and pushing against his stomach. I groan. He groans. My skin heats up. I bite my lip.
Rub. Rub. Rub!
He pushes and pulls and groans and—
All his weight is suddenly on me and he's pushing me down to the bed and I feel my back touch the sheets! He gets on top of me and the light fur of his chest strokes my breasts and the tip of his cock scrapes—
He enters me.
I seize up.
My legs clamp around him! So do my arms. My eyes shut.
He feels huge. I'm too tight.
I feel that pulse forming...
He starts pumping me.
I pulse again.
He pumps in and out. Groaning. Thrusting.
He groans. Louder!
"Oh, God, Ax— Ax—"
We grind, thrust, slam and twist together—
He explodes.
I feel his cock all within me. Throbbing and pushing and jerking and caroming against my insides.
His face becomes wild. Raw and powerful. He slams and slams inside me and the more he orgasms the more he holds me to him. He clutches at my back and presses my breasts to his chest and moves into me in a blur of motion and growls—
"Oh...fuck," I say. My body quakes in response.
The orgasm is crazy. Primal and savage. We both roar and clutch each other so that we each make the other come even harder.
And then, finally, after an endless time...we stop.
And we exhale.
He slides slowly in and out of me. Sweat drips from my brow, my breasts, my stomach. Everywhere. I caress his back and find it suddenly hard to breathe.
&nbs
p; He starts to move away. I hold him back.
The well of emotion is too powerful.
"Gen—"
"Shhh!" I say.
I bring him back toward me and hold him against me. His body envelops me.
I hold him tighter. It's so hot in the room with our bodies touching but I can't let him go.
I know I love him. I love him eternally. He's...exactly what I want. Flawed. Perfectly flawed. Like me.
"Axle."
"Yeah."
"I've never felt anything like that before."
My mind is whirling. The ceiling is whirling. I don't care if he felt the same. I felt it. And because I felt it I need to tell him.
Because that's our deal.
"Babe, I know what you mean." There's all manner of emotion in his voice as he says it. A quiver. A tremble.
My hand runs through his hair. I push him up so that my eyes face his. "Really?"
His eyes are brimming with feeling. He nods tightly, swallows hard. He whispers, "Hell yeah. I've never felt anything even close to that. Never." Then he pauses, and stares me in the eyes. "Gen, I've never felt anything like that...with anyone."
I understand what he means. I nod to show that I do.
It's those unspoken things between us that we nonetheless understand in each other—that's what makes us, us.
I hold him tight to me.
The smell of roast fills the air and my stomach rumbles.
I'd rather starve tonight than let him go.
CHAPTER 39
-1-
A.
Dec. 6, 2013 — Friday Evening.
"Even the leftovers are good," says Gen. I love watching her eat. I love watching her sit. I love watching her stand. I love watching her do everything.
Most of all, I love seeing her in her underwear.
"Where'd you learn how to cook?" she says.
"Jamie Oliver show."
"Oh, that's that English dude, right?"
Someone knocks at the door before I can answer her. My stomach sinks. Ever since that cheap-shot beating, I've been on edge at my apartment. And now I'm especially on edge because Gen is here.
And because no one ever knocks at this door except her and Frankie.
And Frankie's at the pub tonight.
"Expecting anyone?" she asks.
I shrug. Gen eats away without a worry.
When I open the door, my world spins. My fist clenches. And blood burns in me so fast that I wanna hit someone. Hard.
"Alicia." I close the door and step out into the hallway because I don't want Gen to see this part of my life. "Who did this to you?" The blue eye on her looks about a day old.
"There's a new guy at Kama."
"He did this?"
Alicia shakes her head. "No, but he might as well have."
"So I take it he's pimping as well?"
She nods again. "Why you no work there anymore, Ax?"
I sigh out heavily. "I got a little beat up a few weeks—"
"Bullshit. That not the reason. The Axle I knew before never gave no shit how many punches he took. What da real reason?"
I run a hand through my hair. "I can't risk it anymore, Alicia. I have to think about..."
"About that girl you been seen with? The one you introduced me to?"
"Gen."
"You fall for her, haven't you?"
"I have."
"So you just gonna leave us?"
"It's not like that. Look, Alicia, why don't you go to the cops—?"
"You know what it's like. Sure the cops come in. Then you get a reputation and the brothels tell you the rooms aren't available. I can't afford that."
I know the game. Sure, legalizing prostitution in Germany means sex workers have rights by law. It means they can go to the cops when punks get overly frisky. It doesn't change the internal politics of any business. If a place closes its doors to a girl, then she's out on the street. She can file a complaint and be back in a few days. But most of these girls don't have reserves they can fall back on. A few days of lost work might even mean their kid goes hungry, for the ones who have children.
It might also mean they go hungry themselves.
"Maybe," I say, "if more girls take the legal route, we'll weed out the punks from the business."
She cocks an eyebrow and folds her arms. "You know what these motherfuckers listen to. Muscle. Look, Axle, there are other places that are going down as well. No one's taking care of the girls. There are more beatings. One girl went to the cops. She didn't get a room for three days. They were all 'full.' She lost two thousand Euros, Ax.
"Just show up there once. Please. Just show your face."
"Alicia, the bosses don't like unhappy girls. If you go to the cops—"
"The bosses don't give a flyin' fohck about da girls! Whatever gets them the money. It's Christmas time. People are lonely. Sex work goes up. And it's fuckin cold on the street. Axle, show your face. Kick someone's ass."
I shake my head. I can't do that to Gen. It was after Frankie told me to get my shit together that I told the boss I wasn't available until further notice.
When I first took the job it wasn't because I planned on protecting prostitutes and being some angel. I took the job because kicking people's ass was in the job description. After the accident, all I wanted to do was kick people's ass.
I did a lot of that at the Red Light.
It seems it earned me a reputation.
"Alicia, you put too much faith in me. I don't think—"
She slams me to the wall! "You don't put enough fuckin faith in yourself! Come by. Just once. You might not think you have an effect on nothin', but I know you do. Humor me."
I clear my throat. "OK. OK."
"When?"
"Monday. We have...a thing tonight. And I promised Gen I'd spend the weekend with her."
She takes her hand off my chest, turns around. She looks back. "Axle, I hear you. You have someone important to think of now. If you don't come by, I won't hold it against you. But I need your help."
She starts walking down the stairs. "Alicia." She looks up. "Where's Emeryk these days?"
"Fired. Gone. He's across the street now working for the other guy. But they might as well be the same boss these days without you there. At least when you were there it was safe on one side. Now it's equally shit on both."
When I walk in the door, Gen asks, "Everything OK?"
"Sure."
It even sounds like a lie.
I repeat it, as if saying it again will make it more convincing. "Sure, all's great. You gonna get dressed?"
"You don't like seeing me here in my underwear?"
I break into a smile. "Is that an invitation?"
She can't fight back her own smile. She moves her chair back a fraction so I can see her panties and puts a piece of meat in her mouth. Chews. She opens her legs just a little so that it could be taken two ways—seductive, or simply a step toward sitting more comfortably.
She smirks.
I feel myself getting harder just by looking at the sweet freckles that adorn her skin. "You are undoubtedly the most attractive woman I've ever seen."
"All those language studies are improving your English, too."
"I've been studying Shakespeare so as to speak more romantically to you."
"Really?"
I laugh. "Yeah, right."
"Asshole!" She throws a piece of meat at me. It stains my shirt.
"Hmmm, well it looks like I'll need to take my shirt off."
I see her chest heave a deep breath when I do it. I understand the sentiment.
She throws a piece of meat at my jeans. So I take my jeans off.
She stands, and the way she does it makes my legs rush with need. She sashays over to me and when she gets to me I slide my hand down her back and into her underwear and massage her tiny butt.
She has the best freaking ass I've ever seen. No model-ass. It's a Gen-ass. Perfect in the little ripples it has on the cheeks. Perfect
as the scar on her stomach. Perfect as the birthmark below her left breast.
We kiss.
"I love every part of you," I say.
She kisses my neck, my chest hairs, my nipples. It sends flames over my skin. I unclasp her bra and let it drop. Her taut nipples make my cock rise and call out to me.
I want her. I want her now.
I ease her gently, commandingly, over to the bed, push her back onto it. I slip off my boxers.
She looks up and widens, waiting.
I can't resist. I lick her from her taint up through her lips and to her clit.
She whimpers as the tip of my tongue enters her.
It makes me want to fly into her.
My cock twitches, burns, aches for her.
I do it again, lick her bottom to top. And she groans so deeply that I almost explode right there.
I do it some more. I taste her tang and lick her insides until it makes me high, until she's writhing and twisting and squeezing her thighs against my ears and shoves her crotch into my lips and tongue.
She wants it. She's ready for it. She's moaning and wailing and soaking—
She starts trembling.
She shoots back!
She breathes like she's just done a hundred-yard sprint and barely gets the following words out. She's shaking her head and licking her dry lips. "Inside," she says. "Fuck me." She heaves. "Fuck me, inside, Ax."
Her hand is to her chest and she's swallowing, getting herself under control.
I rubber up. I get on top of her and enter her. Her vag is so tight and clenching and clamping down on me that I almost orgasm immediately!
I stop! I hold her close to me to prevent her from moving so that she doesn't push me over the edge. When I regain control I ease again deeper into her, then out, then in again.
She starts wailing femininely...
Oh, God, she makes me so horny when she does that. But this isn't yesterday. We did it three times yesterday. Once this morning.
I have control now. Last night I could barely spend a few seconds in her. And she didn't last very long herself. It was cute.
Cute is gone today. Cute is not how I like to do it.
I keep it easy, slipping in and out, pushing just a little further into her each time, waiting for that carnal whimper as I touch the back of her.
Her breathing quickens. She goes red. She starts clutching my back and then—
Like You (Perfectly Flawed #1) Page 24