by Brill Harper
I tug on her underwear, ripping them off her and she pulls my pants down in return. My dick is dripping in precum when it presses against her. I’ve never actually taken a woman against a wall standing up. All I can think about is sinking into her hot, wet heat, so the mechanics of getting her off the floor and her legs wrapped around my waist seem instinctual, like we’ve been practicing this dance a long time.
The tip of my cock grazes against her clit and she thunks the back of her head into the wood behind her. I chuckle. “Easy, sweetheart. No concussions allowed.”
I rub my cock into her wetness, getting it slick for her, and then I slide in, slowly, watching her face as we become one.
Her eyes fall shut and she chants my name with each slow thrust. Everything inside me is unraveling. “You’re so tight. So wet. I can’t believe I’m finally inside you.” She arches and her eyes pop open, signaling I found the right spot. Unbearable pride fills my chest knowing I’m pleasing my woman. “Right there, baby? Right there.”
Her nails dig into my skin. “I’ve never...felt...oh, God.”
“Let it happen, honey. Let yourself go. Don’t hold back. I want you to come on my cock.” A few more strokes and she flies apart in my arms. Her tight pussy squeezes me harder, and I find myself chasing my own release a lot faster than I intended.
“I love you,” I say and then give her everything I’ve got. Harder, rougher, deeper. All I can hear in my head are the times she begged me to knock her up during our phone sex days. Her hot breath is panting in my ear, driving me on. I slam into her again and come harder than I ever have in my life.
“Yes, yes, yes,” she pants, her hot pussy milking me for more.
I’m plastered against her, my heart racing like crazy. When we unwind and I pull out, we both whimper a little.
“I’ve never...not like that,” she says, trying to pull down her skirt and tuck her breast back into her bra.
“Against a wall?”
“Well, that either. But what I mean is I’ve never...come like that. I mean we’ve talked about it. The few times I’ve had sex...well, it didn’t feel like that.”
I cup her perfect face in my hands. “It’s never been like that for me before either. I meant what I said, Dixie. It was the heat of the moment, but that doesn’t change the fact that I love you. That’s why it was so good. So intense. I love you.”
“Oh, Leo. I love you, too.”
I can’t believe we’re finally together. That this is real. I should feed her. Offer her my shower. I don’t know, maybe she wants to talk for a while.
“So, Cap. Why don’t you show me where that bed of yours is? There’s something else I’ve never done that I want to try next.”
SHE’S A PICTURE OF pure concentration as she gets me naked and sitting on my bed.
“What are you up to, sweetheart?” I ask her as she studies me while removing her own clothes.
“I’ve had fantasies about what I’d do with you if I had hours. I’m hoping you indulge me.”
Not a fucking problem.
“Whatever you want, princess.” She lowers to her knees in front of me, and my heart kicks my ribs. Her soft hands run up the outsides of my thighs, and I reach for her.
She evades my touch. “You said I could do this. I want to please you.”
“You already please me.” But this is important to her, I can tell. I put my hands down and let her explore. "Oh, fuck." Her hands run over the top of my thighs, tantalizingly close to my balls, and I groan. She’s going to kill me, but this is a pretty damn good way to go.
Her hands drag gently down my inner thighs to my knees, pushing my legs apart as she goes. "I’ve dreamed about this, worshipping your beautiful cock. Does that shock you? Do you know before we started talking, I never even said the word cock out loud? And then you taught me it was okay to be naughty." She settles between my knees and I am a lost man. Lost to her touch, to the way she looks up at me, to the way she lovingly looks at my cock. “I love the pictures you sent me, but nothing compares to your cock live and in person.
“I secretly thought that I would probably be too shy if we ever really met. That I couldn’t be the person you make me feel like. But I can. I want to be. You make me want to be so bad because you are a man who can handle both sides of me.” She coos, touching my hardening shaft gently, enjoying the twitch that results. "In all our talks, I don’t think we ever discussed that I’ve never given a blow job before." She cradles my balls, weighing them in her hand. “I want to. I want to do all the things we did in our texts and calls. And I want you to know how much I want to. How much I crave you.”
“My God, Dixie, I couldn’t deny you anything, but especially myself. You do whatever you want to me. I’ll try to take it like a man.”
She smiles, such a pretty smile my girl has when my balls are in her hand.
“I never got a picture of these. They’re bigger than I thought. And heavy.”
I try not to whimper. Really I do. She rolls them gently before shifting her hands to the tops of my thighs again, and then they travel further up my chest, stroking through my chest hair. She purrs like a cat. I’m full of pride that my body pleases her.
I watch her with eyes half-lidded in desire. They feel so heavy, but I’m afraid of missing a single thing if I close them. My breath is also heavy. Like I’ve been running through smoke. She runs her hands over my nipples, feeling them pebble under her talented fingertips, and she leans forward and licks my dick from root to tip, slowly, with the flat of her tongue.
"Christ." It’s a whispered groan. She’s got me right where she wants me. The feeling is exquisite.
She drags her hands slowly back down to my legs, leaving her tongue in light contact with the tip of my dripping cock as she does. "I'm going to enjoy this very much," she says, pressing my leg further away from my body so she can nibble and lick at the crease of my hip. She rubs her cheek against my hard, aching shaft. "I love it. I love the way you smell. And the way you taste." She moves to my balls, taking one into her mouth, using her tongue to move it around.
I’ve never felt anything like her treatment. I’m humbled by her attention and unable to stop the loud groans that rumble from someplace much deeper than my chest.
She comes back to my dick, and I can’t believe I haven’t spilled yet the way she studies me with that horny yet intelligent, studious gaze. She is the most erotic experience of my life.
"You're so thick." Her tongue flicks lightly over the tip and swirls in widening circles as she tries to put her hand around my girth. She’s taking her time exploring the underside of my shaft, and I’m on a razor’s edge of desire.
I’m breathing hard, my whole body flushed. She pauses until I look into her eyes, until I make that electric eye contact. Treating me to a sexy, siren’s smile, she engulfs my dick until her lips meet her hand.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."
She slurps her way back up noisily. It’s indecent and so awesome. “Tell me what you want, Cap.”
“I want back in that fucking dirty girl mouth.”
“How naughty do you want me to be?”
“I want you to be my dirty little toy, Dixie. You know that’s what I want. I want your slutty little mouth and that hot, tight pussy. All of you. Your body is mine. Your fucking smart mind is mine. Your sweet, soft heart is mine. Your soul is mine. So take that fat cock in your mouth, angel. Show me how depraved you are, show me what nobody else knows but me.”
She starts moving on my dick, slowly, so fucking slowly. One of her hands is stroking through my chest hair. She pops me out of her mouth, then swirls her tongue around the crown again.
Fuck, this cannot be her first time. She’s flawless in execution, but it’s her enthusiasm that is the sexiest part. She’s loving it. She’s, I don’t know, adoring my dick and she’s so raw and dirty and sweet at the same time. “Baby, you’re amazing,” I tell her, though my jaw is so tight, I don’t know how the words come out.
I look dow
n and see my cum is dripping down her leg from earlier and my balls tighten. God damn. She grasps me firmly, increasing the speed of her strokes while she sucks, and my hips start moving on their own. The suction, the pressure, the strokes, and that fucking nasty little tongue are driving me past the point of being civilized. She’s overloading all my senses. I’m so far gone, so lost in her.
“I’m going to come,” I grind out, the last of my civility with it. She makes me feel primal and dangerous. I’m losing all control.
She doesn’t leave off, instead grabs one of my hands and puts it on the back of her head, moaning her permission for me to spend in her mouth, to direct her head. I curse, grab her head and push frantically into that eager little mouth. She moans again, and the vibrations send me over the edge, the climax crashing over me as I pulse deeply into her throat. She just keeps swallowing everything I give her. I didn’t know I could come that hard, that much, but she’s moaning as I give her more.
“God, baby. That’s so good. You’re my dirty, dirty angel, aren’t you?”
“Mmmmm,” she answers, and I twitch with more for her. Filling her.
When I’m completely drained, when my legs are shaky and my mind is numb, we lay in the middle of my bed, skin to skin.
This has been the best day of my life.
Of course, that’s why the radio goes off.
There’s a fire. There’s always a fire.
I kiss her before I leave, my heart heavy. I need more time. I know that mind of hers. She’ll start worrying that I think she was too slutty or not slutty enough. That I’ll only want her for sex and that this is too crazy to work.
I have to trust that our love is strong enough to allay her doubts until I can be with her again.
The call is a bad one and it’s got a bad feeling about it. Some fires just do. A man who dances with fire knows when the timing is just a little off. When the rhythm is wrong. It’s hard to hear anything but the roar of the fire, but I get a gut sense and see the creaking beam above Jenkins. I don’t have time to think, I just push him out of the way. I somehow know I won’t be able to avoid it. I don’t have time.
There’s never enough time.
I know it’s coming, but how do you prepare inside for the thing about to take you out?
I have just the one regret—my life has been a good one. Just one thing.
I didn’t have enough time with Dixie. I’ll never have had enough, but I just found her. Just found love. Time slows. The pain that comes is sharp and then fuzzy. My last thought is of the wife I’ll never marry, the children we’ll never have, and the hope that she at least believes my love for her was real.
Chapter Six
Dixie
Dixie: Should I leave? I’ve been here a long time. I don’t know what the etiquette is on sleepovers when the host has been gone for twelve hours. I should just lock up and go home, right?
Merrily: It sucks. The waiting. Believe me I know. But just stay there. He wanted you to stay.
Dixie: Maybe I should go home and take a shower and change.
Merrily: Take a shower there and snoop through his stuff.
Dixie: !!! I can’t do that. That’s sneaky and dishonest.
Merrily: He left you there.
Dixie: Because he trusts me.
Merrily: Exactly. Which is why you should just stay there. I need to know what happens next.
Dixie: You and me both.
I TAKE A SHOWER. I like how using his soap and wearing his t-shirt makes me smell him while I toast some bread and try not to feel like I’m somewhere I don’t belong.
Except I maybe do. Surrounded by Leo’s things, wearing his clothes, eating in his kitchen—there’s just this bone-deep rightness about being here. It feels strange because it doesn’t feel strange.
A lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. My usual tendency would be shyness and probably shame. I was so bold in his bed, up against his door. And I loved every second of it. I loved being filled by him so completely. I loved hearing my name on his lips when he couldn’t hold on any longer. I loved the way he tastes and smells. His big body pinning me in place and claiming me.
I’d love it if he got home soon so we could do it again.
He’ll probably be tired. But I can wait out a nap. I just need to feel him again. Need to be reminded that he’s real and not a figment of my imagination. I try to watch TV, read a book, take a nap. I’m full of nervous energy, and I don’t know what to do with it.
I don’t know how Merrily does this waiting. I’m a nervous wreck. Anything could happen at a fire call. When my cell pings, I launch myself on it.
Merrily: Answer the door.
Dixie: ?
The doorbell rings. Why is Merrily here? I can’t entertain guests in his house, for crying out loud. I swing open the door and see her husband, Jim, instead. The serious look on his face, his bloodshot eyes, and the hang of his shoulders makes me want to slam the door in his face and pretend this isn’t happening. Go back to five minutes ago when I didn’t know.
I inhale sharply and clench my fists. I don’t even say hello. I don’t know how to prepare for what can never be.
Someone is chanting, “no, no, no,” and I think it’s me.
We just met. I was supposed to be starting a whole new life. My heart falls to my feet.
“He’s going to be fine,” Jim says. “It was a rough night. But it’s going to be okay.”
I exhale as relief floods through me and my knees go weak, but he catches me.
“Easy, Dixie. Everything is fine.”
“Everything is not fine or you wouldn’t be here. What happened?”
He wraps a brotherly arm around me and sweeps me into Leo’s house, settling me on the couch.
“Cap is in surgery. He took some internal damage and his appendix has to come out, but he’s fine. He was awake at the hospital before they wheeled him into the OR and he made me promise to come and tell you what is going on and give you a ride home.”
“I only live three blocks away.” Only I feel like I live in another world. So far from this one. Like my life of only yesterday isn’t something I can just return to. “You don’t have to give me a ride home.”
“I could take you to the hospital,” Jim offers.
I look down at my hands where my fingers are knotted together. “Does he want me at the hospital?” We’re so new. I’m standing on a thinly iced-over lake and everywhere I step is fraught with cracks.
“I think he’d be happy to see you there when he wakes up.”
“But he didn’t ask for me.”
“Dixie, you both had the same expression on your faces. You’re scared to go to his bedside, thinking it’s too soon. He was scared to ask for you to come, thinking it’s too soon.”
“Is it too soon, do you think?”
“I think it doesn’t matter what I think. Hell, it doesn’t even matter what you think. What do you feel, Dix?”
Jim’s not a guy who is serious very often. I think it’s how he handles the stress of his job. But he’s serious now. How do I feel?
Emotions well up, threatening to drown me in them.
“I want to be there when he wakes up.”
“All right then. Put some real clothes on and we’ll go.”
I frown and look down, remembering I’m wearing a pair of Leo’s boxers and his t-shirt. “Can we stop at my house...I don’t have...”
“Baby Cousin is doing the walk of shame. Never thought I’d see it.”
“Shut up.”
WHEN THEY WHEEL LEO into his room after his surgery, I’m waiting for him. The smile he gives me melts my insides. “I had a dream that I had an amazing girlfriend, and here you are.” His voice is croaky and his eyes look funny, but it’s all wonderful to me. This room seemed so sterile and lifeless until he showed up.
“Here I am.”
After they get him all settled, I scoot my chair up to his bedside. “Do you need anything?”
He reac
hes for my hand. “I think I might have everything I need.”
My eyes burn, the unshed tears begging to fall, but I’ve been trying to be so strong. “You scared me, Leo. When Jim showed up at the door...”
“You were still there. I knew you’d stay. Dixie—”
I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I know it’s going to break the dam on my tears, so I try to change the subject. “It sounds like your operation went well.”
“Dixie—”
“I didn’t think to bring you anything from home. From your house. Do you want some clothes or a book?”
“The only thing I wanted from my house is sitting right here. Why won’t you let me finish talking?”
“I’m two seconds away from blubbering and I’m trying to hold off,” I sputter, trying to blink the stupid tears back.
“But I’m fine.” He’s honestly perplexed at my reaction.
Men are sometimes so unreasonable when they are trying to be reasonable.
“I know.” I blow out a breath. “But this has been very emotional for me and I don’t have a good handle on it. I mean, it’s great that you sent Jim to make sure I knew about the accident. That means so much to me that you remembered how I felt about that. But you could have died. And you saved Jim’s life. And I ate the last piece of your bread, I’m sorry. I’ll get you more before you get home.” And I think it’s the bread that pushes me over. I dissolve until he’s holding my head against his chest. I can hear the strong beat of his heart. It’s steady and true. The truest thing I’ve ever known.
I hope I’m not hurting his incision.
His fingers sift through my hair. “Today was my first surgery ever, if that helps. I’m not going to lie and sugarcoat my job. Sometimes it’s worse than others. But I’m damn good at what I do, sweetheart. Are you going to be okay with it? Being married to a guy too stupid to run away from the fire and runs into it instead? I know it’s a lot to ask. I don’t even want to think about how I’d do if the situation was reversed. But I’m asking you to be brave. Can you do this?”