Her gaze took me in as she looked me over one last time before she left.
Hope. That’s what she gave me.
Hope in the face of despair.
Maybe she was an angel.
Chapter 13
Ivan
Present day…
Patterson poured me a glass of wine.
He sat on the kitchen stool in front of me and gave me a weird, assessing look.
It was because I’d just told him about taking Jada to the harvest tomorrow. Prior to that, he was telling me about some billionaire heiress socialite he was
planning to date. I’d listened on autopilot again, so I heard most of what he’d said, but I didn’t take it in because I knew that by next week, he would be talking about someone else.
Another woman, another week. The same story would then follow. I’d hear how bored he’d gotten of her, and then it would be on to the next woman.
I guess that was one area of my life that I’d tamed right down in. My wildness didn’t extend to that anymore. The women I dated now tended to be the ones I had a genuine interest in.
The part about me being crazy extended to my current situation because at the moment, the woman I seemed to have a genuine interest in was Jada.
“Ivan…” His voice took on that edge that displayed his confusion.
“Yes, Patterson,” I answered in the same tone.
He sighed and pressed his lips together, then ran a hand through his spikey hair he’d had cut shorter than I’d seen in years.
“Forgive me if I’m not quite seeing what the plan is here.” He tilted his head to the side. “I thought the plan was to scare her away and make sure she knew your methods were better than hers.”
“My methods are better,” I maintained. “But this isn’t business.”
“Oh my God, Ivan, this is damn fire. You can’t play this game. Millions of dollars rest on this goal of yours. What if you develop a soft spot for this woman? I’m not sure it’s a good idea to date your opponent.”
“I’m not dating her… yet.” I smirked and took a sip of the wine as he passed it to me.
I savored the sweetness. It reminded me of kissing Jada.
She did warn me that playing with fire would get me burned. Scorched, she’d added. Damn, was she ever right.
That kiss had scorched me clean. Inside and out.
I’d never felt that way after just one kiss, and that bothered me. It bothered me because I thought deep in my heart that I’d never meet anyone who made me feel the way I felt about Catherine.
Why in the hell would the one woman I’d met since her make me feel like this? Like I was bursting with energy and life. Like I couldn’t like anything else
besides her. I had to flee her place earlier because the next thing for me to do was rip her clothes off. And I knew she’d wanted it. She wanted me to do that. It was in her eyes.
The want and the lure of the thrill of what we could be together. But… that was as far as her wanting of me went.
As far as I knew, Jada still couldn’t stand me.
“Ivan, be careful, man. What are you actually doing? The show is in two days, then you have six weeks of this trial stage. You’ve made a big impact in the public eye. Why ruin that?” He raised his brows.
“I’m not. Like I said before, no harm mixing business with pleasure. Or not. I’m just taking charge of the opportunity to be with a woman I’m interested in. You know you’d do the same.” I thought I’d point that out because he definitely would.
If we were talking about him, I knew for certain that he would have jumped over all the hurdles I’d stumbled against, and he’d have her in bed by now.
We’d be having a completely different conversation.
Me… well, I had more tact.
Patterson smiled because he knew I was right. “Hey, I’m just saying, man. And this harvest. Is that the best place to take her?”
“I know it’s a little personal.”
“A little?”
I didn’t miss the hint of sarcasm in his voice. The harvest was what Catherine’s family called the reaping of the grapes in their vineyard. The whole family would get together once a year at her parents’ vineyard in San Diego. The whole day would be spent in the vineyard picking the grapes to be sent off to their winery. I still went. Her parents kept in touch, and I did the same.
To other people it may have been weird because I’d only been married to Catherine for a year before she died.
It was the best year of my life, and I wouldn’t have traded it, even with the sad ending.
“She needs to see something,” I told him. “Something important to me.”
Catherine had been full of miracles. We had been a miracle couple. Her living as long as she did, and me walking again.
Miracles.
I’d never forget the hopelessness I’d felt when I first met her. Me with my thirty-percent chance of walking again. She was definitely a glass-half-full kind of woman. Her glass was never half empty, and even if the whole glass was empty, she’d fine something to say that would give some hope. Something about perception.
She was the essence of my theories.
They were all her. All that she made me feel from being with her, knowing her, loving her.
That’s why I knew I was right. While I might not have initially planned to go on The Love Doctor, it was definitely in my cards now. Now more than ever.
“You know, maybe it’s good. Maybe it’s a good thing, and screw business if you have a genuine interest in Jada. I’m not sure if it makes sense, but hey. I’m not you.” Patterson chuckled.
“She just needs to see something. I think it would open her eyes more if she met certain people.” As usual, I had a plan up my sleeve.
Jada to me was one of these types who needed saving, and I’d chosen myself for the job.
“Okay, bro. I can’t wait to see how this plays out.” Patterson took a gulp of his drink and set the glass back on the counter next to the bottle.
I looked at him and considered mentioning the kiss. I knew the minute I started talking about it would change things up, but this was Patterson. He was the friend I shared everything with. We’d always had a wider circle of friends, but we saw ourselves as brothers because we’d known each other the longest.
I told him everything.
“Patterson… I kissed Jada this morning,” I confessed.
His mouth dropped. “Did she slap you again?”
“No.”
He raised his brows now, then narrowed his eyes. “And you’re telling me this juicy piece of news now, after talking shit for the last half an hour because?”
“It felt different.” Saying it out loud made me feel cautious.
“Different how?”
“Different like I’ve never felt before.”
“Okay…” He bit the inside of his lip. “Well, I’m just going to borrow your words and tell you to keep an open mind.”
I laughed. “Really? You’re going to give me my own advice?”
“Yeah, I kind of am. I think you need to be careful because you just met this woman and you’re rivals in a massive competition that’s down to the two of you. But it looks like you’re into her, and for you, that’s a good thing. I never thought you’d find your way back after Catherine. It was a long time ago. But I’ve never seen you love anybody that hard. You haven’t since, and you’re a relationship guy. I’m not. I’m the perpetual bachelor.”
“Patterson Flynn, you only think you are. You aren’t though. You’re married to your PA; you guys just don’t know it yet.” It was the first time I’d ever said anything like that to him.
Maybe it was an attempt to divert the focus from me because he was right. What he said was right.
“You know Georgie isn’t the kind of woman to put up with my shit, and I’m not the settling-down type. She’d be crazy to have any interest in me.”
That was where he was blind, but I’d leave my comments ther
e.
I had my own love life to worry about.
That kiss had felt different because Jada was different. She was a different woman than Catherine, and in all honesty, what I needed to do was stop comparing.
Maybe that was why the kiss felt different. Jada was the kind of person who’d make a guy forget. When you were with her, you were with her.
Clearly, she was the kind of woman who was also unforgettable.
That worked for me, because I had no plans to forget her.
Chapter 14
Jada
* * *
“Girl, this is evidence of my love for you.” Olivia beamed, holding up the crispy white paper bag from Jake’s Spot.
“I know that, honey.” I giggled looking at the bag, trying my best not to drool at the divine scent.
The bag contained two cinnamon pretzels. The whole downstairs of my house smelled like a bakery.
She got here half an hour ago.
Last night, we spoke. I told her I was going to this thing with Ivan, and she insisted on bringing breakfast to me this morning.
I didn’t tell her about the kiss. We’d gone out onto the terrace to eat.
The table was laid out with a feast. More of a feast than what we would have had if we’d actually gone to Jake’s.
Thank God, we weren’t the kind of women to gain weight just from looking at food. I’d sort of been like that in my teens, but as time went by, I grew into my body and curves. I supposed it helped too that I was a gym bunny.
Normally, I ended my day with an hour-long session at the gym. Every day.
Olivia was more of a running-outside person, so while we did a lot together, exercise was one thing we kept separate.
She passed me a plate and opened up the bag that contained the cream donuts.
“So, I figured we have much to discuss before this little trip of yours.” Olivia raised her perfectly arched brows and regarded me with caution.
I laughed because I knew what she was thinking even before she said it. I always knew. People knew of my bizarre, melodramatic ways and always gave me that look.
My family and friends tended to give the exaggerated look that said: What’s Jada doing now?
“We do,” I agreed.
I wanted to talk to her about my thoughts on today, but I also needed to kind of ask her a few things too. It was in line with Brian. Brian, who she didn’t know.
“So, how are you feeling? I ask because I’m still wondering if you slipped in the kitchen and knocked your head.”
“I’m wondering the same.”
“I didn’t get to tell you off about drinking alone and nearly being raped. Ivan’s in my good books for saving you. It was real human of him to do that. As far as anything else goes, he’s still a prick. Last time I checked, you thought so too. The glass of wine in his face along with the bitch slap tends to send that message. Aside from the saving you, what changed? What made you decide to agree to a whole day out with him?”
Oh God, this was hard, and how was I supposed to tell her I’d kissed him like I wanted to devour him?
“We talked and shared our experiences to some extent.” Along with our tongues. “He has his methods which he believes in, and I have mine. I got to see where he was coming from with his.”
“So, he’s going to stop attacking you?”
“I think so.” I looked at her and took a moment to consider a few things. Olivia was the one person in my life who I could be real with.
She was like family to me. I loved my family to no end, but my parents were always wrapped up in each other and always into planning their next venture. They were very successful and the kind of people who believed that if you did something and worked, then you should go off on the next adventure.
There was no breathing space. No time for anything else.
More often than not, no time for me.
Olivia narrowed her gaze as I continued to stare. “What’s wrong?”
“I kissed him.”
“You kissed who?” She looked completely taken aback.
“I kissed Ivan.”
“Say what? Jada, what the hell?”
“I know. That’s all though. I didn’t do anything else.” I thought it was best to leave out the part where he stayed the night, and took care of me. One shocking piece of news at a time.
“Were you drunk?” Olivia tilted her head to the side and regarded me with complete disbelief.
“No, this was yesterday.” I quickly filled her in on some of the missing parts. The parts of my encounter with Ivan I thought was safe to share. Like that we’d talked over the events that had followed since our meeting and that he’d apologized for everything. At least her expression softened somewhat by the time I was done.
“Okay, Jada, this feels like one of those confessional conversations we should be having over much stronger drink than hot chocolate.”
We had our monthly confessionals like two crazy girls confessing to priests. Up until Ivan, I’d planned to tell her how I told Todd Sherman I found out he’d had a hair transplant and I knew his hair growth products were fake as hell. I threatened to go to the papers if he didn’t come clean.
He claimed it was all in the Jamaican Castor oil. Asshole. He was lying out of his ass and making some serious coins on the shit he was selling people.
I happened to meet a client who mentioned seeing him at the clinic where he got his hair done.
That was two weeks ago. To date, I hadn’t heard anything of him making any public statement about his product, and I planned to follow up on that because I was not one to go back on my word.
He was one of my exe’s friends who’d never liked me. He was the kind of man you just wanted to slap on sight because he was a self-proclaimed asshole who’d claimed he did all manner of things but really, he was a con artists. He got with rich older women who were looking for love.
It was a juicy piece of news I was bursting to tell Olivia, but it seemed so trivial now. Definitely more on the funny side than my present situation.
“Olivia, what do you really think of my book and my methods? Do you think I treat men like animals?”
Her pressing her lips together and not answering gave me an answer.
“Oh my gosh, you do?” I asked.
“Not in so many words. Jada, you’ve always been this strong character in my life. There is no one else like you. There’s a reason for that. It’s because you’re you, and you’re just different. Don’t tell me he got to you. You shouldn’t allow him to.”
I shook my head. “It wasn’t that he got to me. It was just that he opened my eyes to a few things. A few things I thought I was over.”
“Like what?”
I pulled in a steady breath. “There’s some stuff I need to tell you. Not now though.”
Olivia stiffened and tensed her shoulders. “Jada, you said the same thing to me three years ago.”
I did remember that.
So much had happened since that I was hoping she’d forget. Her life had progressed in many ways. She was married to a man she loved to no end. I loved that she was happy and was with someone who could value her every day. And they had kids.
Also, Olivia was one of the senior partners at one of the top leading law firms in this country. She was the kind of woman who showed you could really have it all. Love, family, and career.
Me, on the other hand… I’d focused on my career, and honestly, while I’d gained the title of New York Times Bestselling Author and sold millions of copies of my book, I wasn’t truly happy.
I loved money. I loved success and being a successful woman. But I still wanted love, and sure, I wanted the family.
I just didn’t know if all those were obtainable for me. The worry came from deep-rooted issues I knew I needed to move past.
“I can’t do it now.” An unexpected tear ran down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly and tried to smile.
“Oh, sweetie. Jada. I figured it must be something either r
eally serious or really bad for you not to tell me.” She reached out her hands and took mine.
I nodded. “It was, Olivia. It happened back in college. During my last year. At first, I didn’t tell you because you were going through a lot with Coop.” It was two years before Coop was murdered.
Olivia was dealing with all manner of craziness with him. He’d been in the hospital and rehab several times, and then she had her long-distance relationship with Sam. Five years of that, of not seeing each other while Sam served in the Marines and also keeping their relationship secret.
I decided to be a good friend and take the high road by dealing with my issues myself.
“Jada, I think we’ve always shown that we can make room for each other no matter what is going on. You’ve always done that for me. But you never allowed me to do that for you. We have to talk about this. I didn’t forget when you mentioned it three years ago. I just waited for you to come back to me. That’s my fault. I should have been the one to come back to you.”
I shook my head. “It’s not on you, Olivia. It really isn’t. It’s me. I promise we’ll talk though. I mention it now because I think what happened to me really influenced the way I do things now. My book, my methods.”
“You’ve been very successful, Jada. If there were a flaw in your system, we would know by now.”
“I know, but… Olivia, I’ll be the first to admit that I see what I want to see and move past haters. Ivan is someone I would have completely ignored if he didn’t have so much of an influence in the public eye. He launched this attack on me, and people loved him so much they voted for him. His following took off like a wildfire.”
Last night, I was looking at his social media following and noticed it hadn’t just grown by a few hundred, like the average person’s. He stood at two million on Twitter and a little over that on Instagram and his Facebook page.
Prior to that, he had a few hundred people following him. I checked that out just after the show when I thought maybe his popularity would die down and I’d be okay.
The Love Doctors Page 10