“Okay.” Rue shrank down in the seat, unused to having Kodee telling her off.
Sometimes, I caught a glimpse of what Kodee must have been like as a family man. I could picture him with a wife and child, laughing and smiling as they did regular things like go to the park and the grocery store. He was a different person now, but every so often, that old self slipped through the cracks. I couldn’t imagine living that way—my present self so separate from the past. I’d always been the same person, wild and rough, short tempered and fun-loving. A contradiction of a person, perhaps. But I’d done what I needed to survive. I’d been brought to a strange country by my parents, and I’d immediately been identified as an outcast, my accent doing nothing to help that, and then they’d died, and I’d found myself alone. It wasn’t until I’d met Kodee and Ryan that I’d finally felt as though I had a place I belonged again, and then Rue had come along. But I still felt like I belonged. A home wasn’t a place of bricks and mortar; it was the people who made it home.
These people were my home.
We drove in silence. Everyone’s emotions were running high, and I thought we were all worried we’d say the wrong thing and we’d start an argument. We needed each other right now. We couldn’t afford to have any kind of divide between us if we were going to get out of this alive.
“I don’t know about anyone else,” Ryan announced from the front, “but I could murder a coffee, and I could eat a scabby horse.”
I wrinkled my nose at the description, but my stomach gurgled in response.
“We can’t stop anywhere for long,” Kodee said. “We don’t know who might be behind us.”
I frowned, my features pinching. “You think someone might be following us?”
“It’s unlikely, but it’s possible, yeah.”
“Maybe we should get off the main road,” I suggested. “Make a move they’re not going to anticipate.”
“Shit.” Kodee slammed his fist onto the steering wheel. “We don’t even know who ‘they’ are. Were those Nettie’s men, or the Capellos’?”
I shrugged. “Does it even matter?”
He sucked air through his teeth. “We shouldn’t have killed them right away. We should have injured them and tied them up and questioned them to find out what they knew. They could have told us who they were working for and if there were more men coming.”
“We had to kill them,” Ryan said. “If we hadn’t, they’d have killed us.”
“Maybe,” Kodee pursed his lips, “but dead men can’t speak.”
Ryan sighed. “We can’t do anything to change that now, but we can do something about my need for coffee, even if it is just some kind of brown piss water that comes from a vending machine.”
I chuckled. “Your meal descriptions are making things sound so appetizing, Ryan.”
“As long as it’s got caffeine, I’m past caring.”
It was still crazy early in the morning, and the rude awakening, followed by the adrenaline burst, had left us all feeling flat. And that was before we took into account the ‘people wanting us dead’ situation that was hanging over all our heads.
“Okay, fine,” Kodee relented. “We’ll find somewhere, but we’re getting it to-go. I don’t want to stop anywhere for any length of time, at least not somewhere as obvious as a gas station, where we might get spotted from the road.”
I agreed. “Makes sense.”
We didn’t know who might be waiting for news from the two men we’d killed back at the cabin. When they didn’t get any, suspicions would be raised, and then they’d go to find out what had happened. Our mercy toward Timmo, leaving him alive, meant he’d be able to give them information about which car we were driving, and what direction we’d gone in. They’d be some way behind us for all of that to happen, but Kodee was right. It was better that we didn’t stay in one place for too long—especially if that place was visible from a main route.
“That okay with you?” I asked Rue. She’d been particularly quiet since we’d left the cabin, and I was worried about her.
She gave me a tight smile in return. “Sure.”
We’d made it out of the dense forests, and were back on a highway heading north, toward the Mackinac Bridge. The area was becoming more built up, but around here, that didn’t add up to much. The topography still mostly consisted of trees. We drove for another half hour before we came across a small gas station on the side of the road.
I leaned forward. “Pull over here, but go around the back, so we can’t be seen from the main road.”
“We’re not stopping for long,” Kodee warned us. “We’ll get in, grab whatever we need, and get back out again. Got it?”
We all nodded obediently.
Kodee pulled the car over, and instead of heading to the pumps, he drove behind the gas station building, where there was only a cleared area of land before it gave way to trees again. There were a couple of large refuse cans, and a rear exit to the gas station, plus a couple of plastic seats where it looked as though the employees might come out for a cigarette break every now and then, though I didn’t think smoking so close to the pumps was a wise idea for anyone.
Kodee and Ryan climbed out, Ryan wincing as he stretched. His leg didn’t seem to be bothering him as much as it had the previous day. I was the one with the bad leg now. We were going to look like quite a pair, both of us limping around.
Rue remained sitting in the car beside me.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. “You seem really quiet.”
She gave a small shrug. Was this just about her fear, or was something else underlying her silence?
“Tell me,” I encouraged.
She let out a sigh. “You know, when we were at the cabin, before everything went down, there was this moment where things felt so easy. Even though we were on the run, I actually felt free. Like my life was my own again. I thought I’d never want to live in the middle of nowhere, but I understood it for just a little while. No stresses or pressures. Just me and you guys, surrounded by nature. It would be a simple life, but a happy one.”
I rubbed my fingers over my mouth. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“But then those men showed up, and the whole thing shattered. I was dreaming if I thought that was ever going to be my life. I’m never going to escape it, am I? This is just who I’m meant to be, and I need to stop kidding myself that things will ever be any different.”
I put my arm around her, and tears shimmered in her eyes. “You don’t know that. We’re doing everything we can to change your life for you.”
She sniffed and nodded, keeping her eyes down, as though she was ashamed. “It shouldn’t be up to you to have to come and rescue me, though, should it?” Finally, she lifted her gaze to mine. “Why couldn’t I be strong enough to rescue myself?”
I lifted my hand to touch her soft cheek. “Fuck, Rue. You are strong. After the hand you’ve been dealt, with what you went through with your mother, and the life you led after, most people would have crumbled. You’re still here, still fighting, and that’s something to be proud of.”
“Thanks, Dillon. I don’t know how I’d cope if I didn’t have you guys with me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Rue
I NEEDED TO PULL MYSELF together.
A darkness had descended upon me since the men had caught up with us at the house. Perhaps I’d been kidding myself, but I’d really hoped things were going to go our way, just that once. I’d enjoyed being in Timmo’s company, drinking beer and laughing with the guys. It had been one of the first times I’d actually not expected someone to come banging on the door and demand something from me. Even when I’d been back at the apartment, I’d known there was the possibility the Capello brothers would show up and announce that my time was up and I needed to go back with them.
Seeing Dillon shot had also hit me hard, though I hadn’t told him that. It had made me realize that we weren’t all invincible, and Dillon or one of the others could easily have been shot and kil
led. How was I supposed to live with myself if that happened?
I would never say it out loud, knowing what their reaction would be, but there was a part of me that thought about running away. Without me, they would all be safe. Maybe not totally safe, since Joe Nettie’s men weren’t going to let them get away with having killed some of their men, but safer, at least. But me leaving had put us in an even worse place last time, and I knew they would never allow it. The only way I’d ever be able to convince them to let me go was if they thought it was genuinely what I wanted, and I didn’t think I was a good enough actor for that.
“You guys coming?” Kodee asked, leaning back into the car.
I forced a smile. “Sure.” I turned to Dillon. “I can grab you something, if you’d rather not walk on your leg.”
“Thanks, but I could do with stretching out.”
“You can’t go into the store wearing bloodied jeans,” Kodee said. “You need to change them.”
He went to the trunk, where our bags were, found a change of jeans for Dillon, and threw them to him. On the back seat, Dillon wrestled out of his ruined jeans and changed into the clean ones. We didn’t want to attract any more attention than necessary.
I got out and rounded the car, so I was there for when Dillon opened the door and started to climb out. I reached in and slipped my hand around his waist and wedged my shoulder in under his armpit.
“I don’t need help,” he muttered.
I squeezed his hip. “Maybe I just wanted to get a grope.”
He grinned down at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back—a real smile this time.
He was a tough guy, like Ryan. Neither of them wanted to ask for help, even when they needed it.
“Come on, then.” Kodee jerked his head toward the gas station. “Let’s get in and out. I feel safer when we’re moving.”
He was right. I did, too, but we couldn’t keep moving forever.
The attendant glanced up as we entered and quickly looked away again. Gone were the unruffled, smart men they’d been back in the city. Now they looked like men who fought to stay alive. None of them had shaved for a couple of days, and their stubbled jawlines combined with dark, shadowed, haunted eyes made them look dangerous. Hell, they were dangerous. I’d seen them kill five men now, and I knew they’d kill again if they had to.
A coffee machine stood beside a long refrigerator containing sandwiches, cold drinks, and other snacks. There was also a microwave available for us to heat up food ourselves.
“Breakfast sandwiches?” Kodee suggested, helping himself.
My stomach rumbled. “Sounds good.”
He heated them up for us, and then we took everything to the counter and paid.
We needed to keep moving, but we had to eat and do all the stuff normal humans needed to survive, so we took it in turns using the bathroom as well, and then went back to the car with our purchases.
I frowned down at Dillon’s leg. Bright red spots had seeped through the clean jeans. “The bandage is going to need changing soon. I wish we’d thought to bring the first aid kit from the cabin with us.”
He wrinkled his nose. “We weren’t exactly in the right frame of mind for planning ahead.”
I sighed. “Maybe not, but that still needs changing. You’d be better off seeing a doctor.”
“Uh-huh. No doctors. It’s too risky. They’ll want names and addresses and paperwork. I don’t want to leave any kind of trail where people are going to find us.”
“Besides,” Ryan said from the front of the car, “doctors have to report a gunshot wound to the police.”
“Oh, I didn’t know that.” I felt deflated, stupid for not being aware of something so obvious. Of course they would have to report it—people couldn’t just go around shooting each other without the police being notified.
Dillon reached out and squeezed my hand. “It’s fine, Rue. Seriously. Stop worrying. You did a great job the first time around. I can handle a little blood.”
If we couldn’t go to a hospital or doctor, I guessed there wasn’t much choice. We could go to a drugstore, but we’d need to be in the city, or at least a reasonable sized town to do that.
We finished eating and got on the road again.
Ryan reached out and placed his hand on Kodee’s thigh. “How are you doing, Kodee?”
Kodee pressed his full lips together and nodded. “I’m coping.” He glanced over at the other man. “It’s important that I do this, though, you know?”
Ryan shot him a sympathetic smile. “Yeah, I know. You’re doing great.”
“Fake it till you make it, right?” His tone was laced with regret.
“Have we even decided where we’re going?” Ryan asked. “We can’t drive aimlessly forever.”
Kodee nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it. We don’t have to get on a plane. We can always just drive out of the country. Border patrol are likely to be less suspicious than if we were at an international airport.”
Ryan thought for a moment. “But we still have the problem of Rue not having a passport.”
Dillon leaned forward. “Is there any way we could smuggle her across the border?”
“It would be risky.” Ryan twisted in his seat to face Dillon. “We could end up locked up if we got caught.”
“I don’t want that,” I said. “This is all bad enough without having to worry about you guys in prison.”
Dillon snorted. “Especially since that’s also where Joe Nettie is right now. I imagine he’d have enough contacts inside to make life pretty unpleasant for us.”
I grimaced. “You can say that again.”
“But what other options do we have?” Dillon continued. “We can’t take the risk of contacting someone else to try to get Rue a passport, can we? Or we stay in the country and just hunker down, but we could only do that for so long. At some point, our names or faces are going to get spotted by the wrong people, and then we’ll all be in trouble again.”
“Before we decide anything else,” Ryan said, “I think there’s something we need to do first.”
I frowned. “What?”
“We need to teach you how to shoot.”
They all looked toward me, and I experience a little spark of excitement. “I would feel better if I was able to defend myself.”
“I’d feel better, too,” Dillon agreed. “I hate the idea of Rue not being able to shoot one of the sons of bitches if they tried to hurt her.”
Kodee pressed his lips together and nodded. “We’ll need to go somewhere remote. Somewhere the gunshots aren’t going to get us any unwanted attention.”
“It’s deer season,” Ryan said. “I think we’ll be okay. If anyone hears gunshots, they’ll just put it down to hunters.”
Hunters. I liked the sound of that. For once, I’d rather be the hunter than the hunted.
Chapter Sixteen
Ryan
I LOVED THE FEEL OF a gun in my hand. I had from the first moment I’d held one when I’d been only fifteen years old. There was power in it, no doubt. A dangerous kind of power. Just the weight of the weapon in my palm filled me with adrenaline. Maybe it was the way some people felt when they were drinking or taking drugs—confident, invincible, one rung higher than everyone else.
Learning I was good at shooting was even better. It was like a kind of superpower. While others were peppering the targets, my shots hit dead on the mark every time.
But the thing that had almost destroyed me wasn’t affected by a gun. There was nothing my weapon could have done against the IED hidden in the truck. Perhaps I could have shot the person who’d hidden it, but since I’d had no idea it was even there, that would have been outside of my ability, too.
That vulnerability had come as a shock. It had changed who I was as a person. I thought that, perhaps even more than the loss of my leg, the realization of my vulnerability had altered me. I’d gone from believing myself to be indestructible, to suddenly knowing just how quickly things could change. No
one was ever safe in this life. Anything could happen at any moment, and even though I’d been living in a war zone, and had seen people die, I’d never truly believed it might happen to me until that moment.
By mid-morning, we’d already passed over the bridge and were back into forest area.
Kodee pulled the car off the road, driving through some trees, making sure the vehicle wouldn’t be spotted by any passing traffic. We hadn’t seen any sign that we were being followed, and I was sure we would have noticed by now if we were. The roads were too quiet for us not to have seen another vehicle trailing us. If we were in a city or on a busy freeway, I could understand how one black or silver car might look just like another, but out here, with how aware of our precarious situation we were, I figured we were safe.
“Have you got enough bullets to waste on me learning?” Rue asked, her face etched with concern.
“Don’t worry about that,” I told her. “I made sure we brought plenty of ammo from the apartment.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure that I don’t want you to have to rely on us if you’re in danger. You know any one of us would do whatever we needed to keep you safe, but if we’re not around for any reason, and you can get your hands on a gun, I want you to be able to confidently put a hole in that son of a bitch.”
We left the car and walked through the trees. We were going to need some space before we’d be able to start the lesson. My leg was still a little sore, but nothing compared to how it had been the previous day. The swelling had gone down while I’d been sleeping. Perhaps the sex helped in more ways than just mentally.
It was peaceful out here and, in some ways, I felt bad that we were going to ruin that peace with gunfire, but this needed to be done. We had to do everything within our power to give Rue her independence, and being able to defend herself was part of that.
The trees opened onto a grassy slope. Another line of trees was a short distance at the bottom, signaling the start of more forest, but it was enough space to allow us to shoot.
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