I had to get into my dress, and we knew ahead of time that might prove to be a challenge. I wanted to keep my wedding dress—the one I had bought originally, before the accident. It was definitely one of those “This is the dress” moments that I had with it, so changing it was not even remotely an option. Even if 1-800-Registry wanted to buy me the fanciest dress on the planet, I wouldn’t have been able to accept it. I had fallen in love with mine. My mom really wanted to buy my dress, and she had worked so hard to make the payments on it. We couldn’t afford it all at once, and she had made the final payment right before the wedding. I was in love with the dress, and it was so meaningful to me.
So 1-800-Registry paid for the seamstress to fix my original dress. She had to take it in a bit, but it required a much larger alteration. The back had a corset that laced down and then exploded into a train. The train had to be removed, because I certainly couldn’t sit on top of that crazy pile of fabric. It would have filled my chair. We laughed really hard when we tried to put it on a couple of months before the wedding, before the alteration. We pulled it over my head, but you couldn’t see me. It wouldn’t go down over my head, so it looked like a person with no head and long legs. Everyone laughed as I sat there covered in dress, and someone said, “Nope, nope, this won’t work.” Which of course made us all laugh harder.
Essentially, after much thought, we decided to have the dress sliced open up the back, so that when you unlaced it in the back, it literally folded open. I had to do this so I could get into it. There was simply no other way for me to put it on. We tried. It was hard enough to put on a wedding dress while standing up with help. Putting it over my head with me sitting wasn’t an option. So that day, we had to lay it down on the bed, spread it out, and open it up, almost like a wrap you would make a sandwich with. After much deliberation I had to lie facedown on the bed and get my boobs lined up, and then someone had to lace me up while I was there facedown. It was pretty hysterical, I have to say. They had to keep moving me around and shifting body parts to line things up. Obviously, I was totally over being naked in front of people—you lose that shyness after an injury like mine.
We were all laughing and giggling, and the moment felt perfect. It was eight in the morning. I didn’t normally drink coffee, but I was tired so I had a cup and it actually tasted really good. It was probably because I loaded it up with cream and sugar. I remember at one point looking around and feeling like this was the start of something better, the beginning of a new chapter. I felt like some healing would occur because the wedding was no longer something that had been taken away. It was given back to me, and I was overwhelmed with happiness. It was given back to my friends, too, especially the one who had pushed me and suffered so much for that act. I was so grateful they were all there. These girls were more than just bridesmaids to me. In fact, I had not one but four best friends who were all like sisters. My wedding wouldn’t have been my wedding without them. But my favorite part about that morning as we got ready was that no one mentioned the accident, the wheelchair, or the reason we were glued together for life. I am sure no one even thought about it. It was just a happy day. A beautiful, happy day.
It was so hot that day—102 degrees. Everyone was laughingly complaining about the heat. Out of the blue Carly began to put baby powder between her thighs.
Of course ridiculous laughter erupted.
“What the heck are you doing?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t want my thighs sticking together from all the sweat!”
We shared ten minutes of real laughter. Everyone was throwing the bottle of powder back and forth, and it was hilarious. They all looked so dignified and dainty all done up, but they were still acting like their goofy selves, and it felt so normal and good. I didn’t sweat anymore because of my injury—most C-level injuries don’t sweat because the part of the nervous system that controls that function no longer works. I was also always freezing, so the heat didn’t bother me at all. But we were laughing hysterically about the baby powder. All of them were hiking up their dresses and trying to delicately put powder on their thighs without getting it on the dresses. They’d gotten these new beautiful, flowing J. Crew dresses in turquoise, which went really well with the country setting and the sunflowers they would be carrying. They loved the new dresses, too.
Every moment of the wedding was amazing. I had always dreamed of a country wedding—something very Southern. I just thought I would like something rustic. I had really wanted to get married in a setting with a barn. I had Googled “North Carolina barn” and “North Carolina barn wedding,” and one of the results that came up was this perfect place. I originally thought it was more of a casual setting, but it turned out to be extremely fancy. On the grounds of this dairy farm was a beautiful five-star hotel, and it had appeared in many magazines. The barn was not just a barn; it was like a reception hall, quite elegant with chandeliers everywhere. I didn’t expect all that, but of course when I saw it, I thought, Oh, definitely.
© Martha Manning Photography
I could see the ceremony beginning outside. I watched each bridesmaid make her way down to where she would start her walk. I think they were more nervous than I was because they were being videotaped, but not by any TV cameras, just our own cameras. Plus, I was a center-stage kind of person. I didn’t mind being in front of big crowds, but the bridesmaids were worried about tripping down the aisle. At least I no longer had to worry about stumbling down the aisle in heels.
I know it must have been hard for my friend who pushed me, because it was only one year after the accident, but that night by the pool was completely off limits. This was not a day to reflect on the incident by the pool, and everyone knew that. I was grateful for that unspoken silence. We were all looking forward to my wedding day, even though she hadn’t healed. Still, I took great pleasure in looking down the aisle, knowing she was happy and she seemed to be getting caught up in the moment with us all, having a good time. I’m sure it was hard for her, but it would have been sad if she hadn’t been there, sad for me. I think she knew that. Plus, I knew that seeing me marry the love of my life would give her a little bit of inner peace.
It all felt real when I watched my bridesmaids walking down the aisle, and I thought to myself, Wow! They’re going and then it is my turn! As my dad pushed me in my wheelchair, I was looking at the crowd to see who was there, instead of looking at Chris, and then suddenly I was at the front beside him and my dad kissed me on the cheek.
It felt to me (and my mother said this, too) that the wedding day wasn’t only the day I’d committed to Chris, but it was my finish line. It marked the end of the ordeal, the end of the interruption from the accident. It felt like things had come full circle.
The setting was perfect. The only rough part was that Chris and I had to sit a little farther apart than I would have liked. My chair and the chair he sat in facing me couldn’t really fit any closer together. But we held onto each other and it was all okay. Better than okay.
Our vows were incredibly special. I remember them vividly. We said the same thing to one another. I said, “I, Rachelle, take you, Chris, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know, with faith in your love for me, through all of our years, and in all that life may bring us. I promise to be ever open to you and above all to do everything in my power to permit you to become the person you are yet to be. I give you my love.” I was smiling as I said that, though I thought I was going to cry. I was just so happy to be there that I didn’t stumble over the words at all. We each repeated them after his uncle said them for us, a few words at a time. We kissed after that, and then, in Jewish tradition, Chris stomped on a glass. Carly was holding my bouquet. I turned to go back down the aisle without taking it. She said, “Rachelle, don’t forget this.” I turned and looked, and really loudly I said, “Oh, crap.” Everyone laughed.
After the vows we had a special
moment to ourselves. We went in this little room, and even though everyone wanted to congratulate us, we took five minutes to be alone together. There was no conversation. Chris just hugged me tightly and kissed me. And we looked at each other with this amazing shared excitement.
What I cherished most about my wedding day was my first dance as Chris’s wife. The entire day felt like a movie in my head being played second by second, but one beautiful moment, my favorite, was the first dance. Chris and the guys wore dark grey striped tuxedos with turquoise ties to match the girls’ dresses. Chris wore white on white—white tie, white shirt—and a sunflower boutonniere. I took a moment to absorb how he looked as we were getting ready to dance. We hadn’t practiced it before our wedding day, and I was nervous even though I figured it couldn’t be that difficult. Who would have ever thought my dance would be done from a chair and that still it would be the most memorable, heartwarming part of my day? We danced to “Won’t Let Go” by Rascal Flatts. The chorus fit perfectly; it’s all about never letting go of the person you love and being there no matter what. I had actually switched the song to something by Corey Smith, but the DJ hadn’t made that change, so Rascal Flatts came on. It was funny and yet so perfect. I’m glad it got chosen for us like that.
© Martha Manning Photography
There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. We did twirls all over the floor and everyone thought it was rehearsed, but really it just came naturally and was totally spontaneous. It wasn’t being able to stand up that I missed during that dance, but I wished I could have used my hands so that I was able to hold Chris’s hand during our dance. He held my hands, but I would have loved to hold on in return. I wished we could have been able to embrace one another. As someone who loved dancing, I never thought I’d be wheeling around the dance floor with my new husband. But it was still an amazing moment that I will never forget.
My maid of honor read something at my reception that had meaning to a lot of people. It was a quote from Bruce Lee: “Love is a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.”
I know people find this hard to believe, but there was never a moment where I felt sad about being in the chair that day. I really, truly didn’t. I had a dream wedding. I had had a dream bachelorette party before the accident, too. The wedding wasn’t about walking. It was about love. It was about the man I loved and my family and my friends being there for us, together. Walking wasn’t a requirement for celebrating. I don’t think anyone else had any sad feelings, either. In fact, it might have been more meaningful to everyone. It might have been more significant and a reason to celebrate because I’d survived. It was just a bride and a groom and a great ending to a terrible ordeal. It was as sweet as everyone else’s wedding. I had all the trimmings and fun and an awesome husband—more than everything I’d dreamed of.
After that, at the reception, a Southern band played and we cut the cake. The photographer and videographer zoomed in on the knife. We were trying to cut our Funfetti cake, my favorite, with the knife upside down. I blamed Chris. I had no grip, so he was holding it. We included all the fun traditions like throwing my garter, which was an ECU Pirates garter purchased for the original wedding, and tossing my bouquet, which I did as Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” played in the background. My brother was dating a really cool girl named Becca, whom he had met at one of my rugby tournaments. She was also a quad due to a birth defect. He flew her up from Florida for the wedding. She caught my bouquet. A guy from my rugby team, Ronnie, also a quad, caught the garter. So that was pretty cool and kind of fitting.
We gave everyone blue bracelets for spinal cord awareness and we made a donation to the Miami Project, whose goal is to cure paralysis, in the names of everyone who had been invited to the wedding.
BraunAbility had loaned me a van while I planned my wedding, but I never imagined that they’d actually give me one. At the end of my wedding reception, everyone lined up outside to throw yellow rose petals and blow bubbles as Chris and I made our exit. We rolled down the middle of a long row with everyone on either side. We turned a bit as there was sort of a bend in the crowd, and there it was: this big van covered in a white tarp with a bow. They pulled it off to reveal a sporty Toyota Sienna that didn’t look like a soccer mom van. I was in love. Later, a local company called Van Products installed hand controls, which didn’t require hand function, but just the strength in my arms to maneuver, and a transfer chair. The driver’s chair moved back and turned with the press of a button, so that I could transfer in from my wheelchair.
Chris and I did not consummate our marriage that night. Everything had been romantic and sweet, but we were too tired. I was playing with my little nephew after the wedding. We were trying to throw a football in the room, and I was lying on the bed. He wrapped my hand around the ball for me. He was really good with the injury. He asked if we could watch a movie, which made Chris realize it would be a long night, so Chris and his best man went to get ice cream. I thought they were coming right back, but they were gone for a long time because Chris thought I was hanging with my family. It was funny. He finally returned, and we ate some leftover food from the wedding. We were exhausted by that point, so instead of having some passionate night as man and wife, we just crashed.
Chris was like Prince Charming sometimes. When he was feeling romantic, he’d hold my face and rub my cheek and look into my eyes, and he often said the sweetest and most genuine things. On this night, as we were falling asleep after the most wonderful day, he turned to me and said, “Rachelle, I could never live without you. I’m so excited we are starting our life together. You were so beautiful today.”
I said, “Thank you.” We kissed. “I loved our dance together.”
“Everything was perfect. The dance was perfect,” he said. “The whole wedding.”
“I wouldn’t change a thing about the day,” I said. “Nothing went wrong, either,” I said laughingly.
He grew serious again, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life with any other person. Just you. Forever.”
I always felt we were two halves of one whole, but that night, it was official. I was his other half and he mine—and it was forever. We’d beaten all of the odds and skeptics because we knew love. We had true love. Our souls had connected.
CHAPTER 26
The Finish Line
Something unexpected happened following my wedding that I heard about only afterward. My girls—who wouldn’t have met had it not been for me, and who wouldn’t have bonded as strongly if they had not had a shared experience by the pool that night—went out after the reception and had the greatest time, the four of them and their dates, plus Chris’s best man and Mayra.
I was told later they had been worried initially about the one friend who had suffered, but after spending time with her that day, they could see that she was really happy to be a part of it all. That night, after Chris and I left, they talked about their new perspective on life, and how much they cherished it. They said the wedding ceremony itself was closure for all of us, so they danced and partied their butts off afterward and had the best time ever. It was their night, too, I think. In fact, some of them weren’t even going to stick around that night, but this crazy party erupted among them. I actually felt a little sad that I missed it, but I was glad that they found peace in their own way, too, together. Apparently, they all just let loose and had a blast for the first time together since the bachelorette party.
I think this marked a nice ending for my troubled friend. I wanted her to have a good time, and it sounds like she did. It was a really big deal for her that day. It was important to her that I got married and had that milestone. It was probably the real start to her healing—to see me happy and to know that love had not
been taken away from me, that the one thing I wanted had only been postponed, not stolen completely. It was as important to her for me to say “I do” as it was for me. It was good for her to have these girls around her. They all protected each other, and that came out collectively on the dance floor as they burned off one year of steam.
CHAPTER 27
Paradise
We left in the morning and had our first night in Vegas. It was so much fun gambling for the first time, but we wound up losing, of course. We got tickets to see The Lion King, courtesy of 1-800-Registry. I’d never seen anything like it before—it was amazing. We stayed at the Mirage Hotel. I thought the lights and the strip were the coolest thing ever.
After the night in Vegas, we headed off to Fiji, which had always been my dream destination. I never thought in my wildest dreams I’d be able to travel there. We flew in and had to take a helicopter ride to our destination, which was called Tokoriki Island. It was breathtaking. We had a large bungalow at the Tokoriki Island Resort with a huge bed and white linens, and we could open the windows and the back door and it felt like we were outside even when we were inside. It was just a ceiling, and the walls were basically open. The shower was outdoors and had blue tile.
Everything was blue. The water was blue, crystal blue as far as you could see. There was an infinity pool that Chris would float in; we could sort of see the edge of it, but then it would blend in with the ocean. There were palm trees everywhere. It was gorgeous.
Of course all of the food was amazing, but my favorite dish was at breakfast. Pancakes covered in powdered sugar—so good I couldn’t get enough. We ate every meal on tables outside, looking at the ocean. It was truly paradise. At dinner the waiters would play music. Once, our waiter came around to us and asked if we wanted a love song or an upbeat song. I said both. They started playing Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours.” I couldn’t help but sing along.
The Promise Page 12