by Katy Lee
Naomi frowned, but took the seat. She huffed in amazement. “I can’t believe it was just yesterday that I was living my ordinary life. It feels like at least a week has gone by with all that has happened. I wish I could go back and change everything.”
“Back to yesterday? Or further back than that?” he asked in midbite, the cupcake piece frozen inches from his lips while he waited for her to reply.
Naomi stilled. She gave no response. Then she reached for the cupcake, but she didn’t mean to eat it. She picked at the top, and a few crumbs formed and fell on the table. When she spoke, it was a whisper. “It doesn’t matter. Going back to any date isn’t an option. There’s no sense dwelling on it.” She put the cupcake back on the napkin and brushed the crumbs away in front of her. Staring straight at him, she said, “I’ve learned these last eight years all we can do is move forward. The past means nothing anymore.”
“I see.” Sawyer put his own half of a cupcake down and threw the piece in his hand into the grass. “So, fine.” He brushed his hands swiftly. “We move forward.”
“Sawyer, I didn’t mean—”
He held up a hand. “You’re right. No need to apologize. We won’t be prepared if we’re not focused on the danger at hand. What is done is done. We can’t change the past. But we can change what is to come if we’re prepared for the worst. So in order to protect you, I need to know what the worst is.”
“The worst?” The air rushed from Naomi’s lungs as she searched his pointed stare for what he was asking. She didn’t think he really wanted to know how horrid things had been for Debby. Or for her either. Naomi always found people never wanted to hear the details of her attack. They couldn’t handle them, no matter how much they said they could. “Let’s just say the person who killed Debby meant for her to be in pain. He is stronger when his victim is fearful. He is empowered by our weakness.”
“Our?” Sawyer said without hesitancy.
Naomi glanced down at her folded hands. She’d said too much. “I just meant first Debby, and now Chloe and me. He came after me too, you know.” She lifted her gaze and found such anger in Sawyer’s eyes that her breath caught, and her hands clenched together tight. “You’re so different,” she said cautiously. “Not like I remember you at all. Not like I remember the Amish.”
“The Amish, which you left.” He blinked and his anger dispersed to mere annoyance. He looked up into the limbs of the oak tree hanging over them. As he sighed, Naomi studied his rigid jawline, realizing for the first time that it was free of a beard. When he married Liza, he would have had to let his beard grow. Its absence was just another aspect of Sawyer’s ways that didn’t follow the Amish ordnung of rules.
“I’ve only been back here for a day, and I see you haven’t stayed true to the ways either.”
He leveled a stare at her. “How so?”
Naomi took a deep breath then nodded at his chin. “No beard.” She glanced in the direction of the barn. “A laptop.” Facing him again, she said, “Just to name a couple things I’ve noticed.”
He lifted his hand to his chin and brushed the backs of his fingertips across his clean-shaven face. He shrugged once and said, “I started to grow it, but...” He frowned as his voice trailed off. “Well, when Liza got sick so soon after the wedding, shaving was easier...and better for her.”
Naomi squinted. “How so?”
“Her cancer made her blind. She... When she wanted to see me, she would hold my face. I thought a beard would get in the way of her simple attempt to remember what I looked like, so I went back to shaving.”
Instant tears sprang up in Naomi’s eyes. The image Sawyer portrayed of himself and his wife—her best friend—depicted a sweet love and intimacy. Up until this point, Naomi had done her best to deny the two of them could have had something so endearing—something that was supposed to have been hers. But here was the proof she needed so she could see otherwise.
“It was a marriage of love,” she said quietly.
Sawyer caught her gaze with sad eyes, but his expression hardened quickly as he inhaled sharply through his nose. With a lift of his strong chin, he said, “Liza loved with her whole heart, if that’s what you mean.”
“She always did. She used to have this saying. ‘What does your mind say? What does your heart say? And—’”
“‘What does Gott say?’” Sawyer finished for her. “It was her compass in every decision she made. She only wanted to do what aligned with Gott’s will for her life.”
Naomi reminisced sadly about her old friend. “I wish—”
“Stop,” Sawyer cut her off from going down that road any further. “No wishing will change anything.”
“I know. I guess somewhere deep inside me I always thought I would see her again.”
“So you could tell her goodbye to her face this time and hurt her more?”
Naomi flinched and fisted the deep purple dress in her hands. “That’s not fair. I never wanted to hurt her.”
“No, that pain was only for me.”
Naomi looked to the house to see Anna standing on the back porch. The anger on her face matched her brother’s sitting across the table. Once again, coming to this farmstead didn’t feel like a good idea.
“Perhaps you can take me over to my parents’ home, so I can see about staying with them. I’m sure they would let me stay in their barn at least.” Naomi pressed her lips tight, not wanting to face the fact that they would most likely turn her away completely.
“You’re staying here, where I can make sure you’re safe.”
Naomi reached across the table and covered his folded hands in front of him. Her touch jerked him visibly, and she pulled back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cross a line. I know I hurt you, and I will forever be sorry for that too, but if staying here upsets you this much, I don’t think I should be here.”
“I’m fine,” Sawyer said with an attempted look of indifference to her presence. His back straightened, and the smile he forced made her smirk.
Shaking her head, she said, “If you call this fine, then I’m even more concerned about being here.”
“Well, I just can’t pretend your leaving didn’t cause problems here. Liza was crushed. I just think you should know that.”
Naomi sighed and glanced at Anna. Her arms were folded at her waist and she wore a scowl. “And your sister?”
Sawyer followed Naomi’s gaze and glanced over his shoulder. “What about her?” He turned back to face Naomi. “She witnessed Liza’s pain too.”
“I see,” Naomi said, knowing he really meant his own. “If there had been any other place to take Chloe, I would have gone there instead. Perhaps Sheriff Shaw knows of a place.”
Sawyer stood abruptly. “I said you’re staying here. Now, that’s the end of it. Do you understand?”
Naomi glanced up at the towering man. His annoyance came through with a pointed finger jammed down on the wooden table. “I understand. But I also need to feel safe here, Sawyer.” She glanced at Anna again.
“Not a hair on your head will be touched while you are under my protection. I promise you that.”
“Why do you care so much? We both know I hurt you more than anyone.”
Sawyer’s eyelids dropped closed and he turned his face toward the barn. In a sigh, he spoke without looking back at her. “Chloe needs her mother. That’s all. As long as I have the capability to make sure not another person is hurt by your leaving, whether on purpose or not, I will be there.”
“For Chloe,” Naomi said.
He looked at her directly. “For Chloe.”
With that he stepped away from the picnic table and made his way toward the barn. As he passed the house, he called up to his sister, “Give my farewell to Fannie, please.”
“You should do it yourself,” Anna clipped back.
“I didn’t invite her. Next time, a wa
rning would be nice. Or better yet, let’s not have a next time. It’s never going to happen for these girls. Not with me.”
“Because you plan to return to her?” Anna jutted her head in Naomi’s direction.
Sawyer scoffed and glanced back at Naomi. “I can tell you that will never happen either.” And with that, he left them all behind.
The wind whipped and rustled through the tree leaves as the women watched Sawyer’s retreating back. He reached the barn and closed the doors behind him on a creak.
“Did you hear that?” Anna broke the awkward silence once Sawyer disappeared. She looked smugly down from the porch.
All Naomi could do was nod.
“Good. Because I don’t plan on letting you forget it.”
Anna’s brother had just given his sister the ammunition she needed to put Naomi in her place. Whether Sawyer realized it or not, he had compromised Naomi’s safety here. Anna might not touch one hair on Naomi’s head, but she had the ability to cut through more than hair, and even skin.
Anna could cut right through to Naomi’s heart if she wanted to. And judging by the flaming daggers in her eyes, she wanted to. Perhaps Sawyer was wrong, and there was as much danger here on the farm as there was off it.
SIX
With the moonlight streaming in through the window, Naomi put Chloe down in the borrowed cradle and watched her fall back into a deep slumber. Just beyond the plain white walls Anna and her mann also slept. And somewhere in the house, Sawyer roomed, though Naomi wasn’t sure where because he never returned to the house after their discussion at the picnic table.
Or, more accurately, after he’d made his disdain for her clear.
It was almost as if he knew all about her secret.
She scoffed. It wasn’t possible. She had never told anyone from Rogues Ridge, because she had left town the night of the party. A chill ran up her spine and shook her just thinking about that night down at the closed-down coal mine. The English teenagers had gathered in the vacant manager’s home to imbibe in alcohol with no supervision around. Sawyer had warned Naomi and Liza they could get into trouble, but only Liza had heeded his warning and stayed home.
Naomi had never dreamed that trouble would leave her beaten and violated.
Some would say things got out of hand, but for Naomi she often wondered if she’d been singled out because she was Amish.
She looked out her bedroom window but saw another window in her memory. The second-floor gabled window she’d tried to reach when someone had grabbed her from behind and covered her mouth to keep her from screaming for help. She’d fought to be released, but she was thrown down on the wood floor and hit her head hard enough to weaken her ability to fight back and protect her virtue. Sometime in the night, after she’d been broken and cast aside, she’d made her way down the stairway and out to the back of the house. She’d collapsed by the dumpster, feeling like the refuse that the large containers were used for. If it hadn’t been for the kind man who’d found her, she didn’t know what would have happened to her. He got her cleaned up and made a way for her never to have to tell Sawyer he had been right that night.
No, there was no way Sawyer knew about what happened to her. His disdain for her was totally because he believed she left him because she didn’t want to marry him.
He couldn’t be more wrong.
But to tell him would mean she would have to tell him about that night, and she couldn’t do it.
Naomi would think that after marrying Liza for love, he would have let go of his scorn toward her.
Love.
She tried to imagine Sawyer and Liza in a loving marriage, but it was impossible. Liza was always so shy and quiet. Naomi had known her friend fancied Sawyer in secret, but he barely knew she was alive. He was too gregarious for someone like Liza. It was like a mouse and lion partnering up. Eventually the lion would swallow the mouse alive.
Was that what happened? Naomi wondered, but quickly shook her head. Their relationship was none of her concern. Her only thoughts needed to be on protecting this innocent child from someone who meant her harm. The only man Naomi needed to focus on was Debby’s attacker. The man who left Debby pregnant might have returned to erase any evidence of his assault.
Naomi stepped away from the sleeping baby and walked up to the window. The full moon beamed bright and shone down on the farm and barn nearly as bright as day. She thought of Sawyer’s workshop in the rear of the barn. Somewhere in there was his laptop he used for business. She could easily slip out right now to do a little searching, and she wouldn’t have to explain to anyone why she was using it. Or tell them who she was looking for.
She knew the name only because Debby said it in her sleep one night right before Chloe was born. Debby had been restless in her last month of pregnancy. She’d feared the father would return and find out she had a baby. Her dreams, or rather nightmares, had become so vivid in her last month, and she called out words.
One time she called out a name.
Naomi hadn’t wanted to believe it to be the baby’s father. She knew the name. It was unique enough to stand out.
Irv Adams.
There was a Louisville attorney by the name Irving Adams. Could he be the same man who’d raped Debby? The same man who’d fathered Chloe? He would have a lot to lose if the truth came to light. His business, at least. Was there anything else he feared losing? Feared it enough to kill to protect it.
Naomi pressed her lips tight. While the house slept, she could sneak out and see what the internet could offer. A glance back at Chloe affirmed the baby was sound asleep and most likely would be until dawn.
With the decision made, Naomi slipped a shawl over her shoulders and made her way out the bedroom door and down the hall. She took the stairs one silent step at a time. Not one tread creaked beneath her, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
Then she touched the newel at the bottom step and the round top knob twisted and toppled off. Naomi moved fast, but the round top juggled in her hands as she struggled to catch it firmly and stop it from crashing to the floor. In the tussle she fell to her knees, hitting them hard before the wooden top rested securely in her arms and under her chin.
She held her breath to listen for any response from above. She knew she hadn’t been very quiet in her fall, even if the wooden top hadn’t hit the floor. But when no commotion stirred above, Naomi carefully stood and righted the knob back in its place as gently as possible. Giving it a soft pat, she turned to the hall that led to the back of the house and crept toward the rear exit. Careful not to disturb anything else and bring awareness to her endeavor, she opened the door and stepped out into the cool night. Passing by the picnic table she and Sawyer had shared earlier that evening, she took a quick look and reflected on the strange feeling that lingered from their conversation. Strange because she didn’t understand why his marriage of love affected her. She always knew he would marry and love his fraa with all he had in him. Sawyer never did anything half-heartedly.
She smiled as she remembered a time when he tried to get her attention from one of the boys who fancied her. Sawyer made a spectacle of himself as he challenged Thomas Beiler to a buggy race. He nearly upended his buggy when Thomas proved to be much faster. But instead of accepting defeat, Sawyer stood up and shouted how he felt about her at the top of his lungs before Thomas crossed the finish line. Poor Thomas never got to enjoy the moment of victory, because Sawyer made sure he would have the real victory first.
He loved her.
And didn’t mind the whole community knowing.
When courting was typically kept secret, even from the families, Sawyer shouted his feelings for her to anyone who could hear in a mile radius.
The responses from most of her friends had been smiles of approval. Of course, Thomas hadn’t been smiling. She’d expected that, but she never expected Liza to respond the same way. That was when Naom
i realized Liza had a secret crush that she kept even from her best friend.
Naomi wasn’t surprised Liza would agree to marry Sawyer.
She was surprised he loved her.
She shook the feeling away and returned her focus on something she could figure out—Debby’s attacker’s name. If his identity could be confirmed, there just might be a path to the man who killed her, then came to Rogues Ridge for Chloe.
The closed barn doors loomed ahead in the full moonlight. When she reached the barn, she looked back at the house and didn’t notice any stirring. There was no light in the house, the windows dark.
Naomi lifted the latch to one door, and it opened with barely a creak. After widening it just enough to slip inside, she closed it behind her but left it unlatched.
In the darkness, she felt her way with a faint stream of moonlight to the back workshop. At the door, it opened with ease, and she was glad Sawyer kept it unlocked. He would have no reason to lock it up from family, but Sawyer seemed to do things the Amish didn’t typically do.
Naomi located a lantern on the hook by the door and quickly had a fire burning bright. Holding it up, she let the flame guide her toward the table that he used as a makeshift desk. She placed the lantern on the tabletop and opened the drawer beneath it. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the laptop. She bent down and reached in for it, just as a whooshing sound went by above her. In the next second a thudding sound alerted her to something hitting the wall. A vibration followed as she saw the reflection in the firelight on something shiny before her.
A saw blade protruded out from the wall and still vibrated from its impact.
The jagged curves of the blade’s edge could have ended up in the back of her head if she hadn’t bent down. Naomi stared at the menacing tool meant to cut wood but which had been used to nearly kill her.
Total fright scared all the air from her lungs as she processed how close to death she had come. Her mouth opened to scream, but before a sound emitted from her lips, a strong arm appeared from behind and a hand stifled her plea for help from the people who slept soundly in the house, having no idea the killer had found her.