by Katy Lee
“What are you looking at?” Naomi asked as she bounced the screaming baby at her shoulder.
“The baby in this picture looks familiar.”
He slowly turned and looked at Naomi.
No, not at her but at Chloe.
He pointed at the screen. “I’d say that’s Chloe, but this image is at least three years old. It can’t be her.”
The baby screamed louder. Naomi held her tighter, murmuring soothing sounds to calm her. With her gaze locked on the baby in the picture, she approached the screen to get a better look. It did look like Chloe.
Or Chloe’s sister.
“It’s him,” she said in shock. “We found Debby’s rapist.”
Sawyer jumped to his feet and took the crying child from her arms. He brought Chloe to his shoulder and tucked her close into the warmth of his neck. His large hands practically covered her body. Chloe immediately calmed in his arms and all looked peaceful in this paternal image. Boppli and daedi.
Except Sawyer wasn’t Chloe’s father.
The man on the screen was.
Over Chloe’s nestled body, he gave her the most somber face she had ever seen on him. “If that’s her rapist, then he’s also her killer.”
“And he’s trying to erase all evidence,” Naomi said and looked to the innocent baby in his arms.
Sawyer tucked Chloe tighter. “I will not let him. I promise you. I will guard her with my life. And you too.”
* * *
Naomi sat in the rocking chair in the living room giving Chloe her bottle, taking in the baby’s tiny fists as she gripped it with enthusiasm.
“She’s hungry,” Sawyer’s nephew, Ben, said as he peered over Naomi’s shoulder to watch. “I’ve never seen a baby eat like that. She might eat the whole bottle.”
Naomi chuckled. “That would be something to see. Do you want to feed her?”
The little boy’s eyes lit up in delight, and he nodded his head.
Naomi stood, careful not to disturb the hungry infant from her food. “Hop up,” she instructed the boy. When Ben had readied himself on the rocker and raised his arms, she placed the baby in his lap and showed him how to hold her safely. “I’ll hold the bottle until you feel comfortable.”
“I’m comfortable. Let me do it,” he said with a bit of a whine.
“Okay, keep one arm around the baby to support her, and with your other hand, hold the bottle where I am. That’s it. Keep it tilted up, so she can eat. You got it!” Naomi beamed at the child, but she still stayed low and close.
“I am doing it. Mamm, look!” Ben called to Anna in the kitchen. She had her back to them as she prepped tonight’s dinner. “Watch me, Mamm!”
Anna angled her head and gave a short nod. She looked to Naomi but turned away quickly. “Nice work, Ben. You’ll be helping with all the babies in the community soon.”
“Did you hear that, Naomi?” Ben whispered in awe. “I’m going to get to help with the babies.”
“You’ll be wonderful at it. Look,” Naomi whispered back. “Chloe is already falling asleep. Your feeding filled her right up.”
“Can you take her now? I want to go play. I left my horse on the front porch.”
Naomi took Chloe from his arms, and the boy raced off for something more exciting than a sleeping baby.
“I’ll just bring her upstairs to her cradle,” Naomi told the back of Anna. When no response came from her, Naomi left quietly through the hall toward the front of the house.
Sawyer came through the front door with a tool in his hand. He stopped at the foot of the stairs when he saw her coming. A soft smile spread across his face as she drew closer.
“I’m going to bring her upstairs,” Naomi whispered when she stood directly in front of him. He had to step back to allow her to pass.
But he didn’t.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
He looked down at the sweet, peaceful expression on Chloe’s plump face. “Everything’s...perfect.” A few beats extended out as he studied the infant in her arms. Then he looked back at Naomi. His smile slowly faded. Then he whispered, “Nearly.”
She cleared her throat and insinuated she needed to get by, and he quickly caught on and stepped back to allow her to pass to the stairs. Naomi made her way up, unmistakably aware of him watching her ascend the steps. She quickly disappeared into her room.
Once she laid Chloe in her cradle, Naomi took the moment to tuck a wayward curl back under her prayer kapp and press her hands down the front of her purple dress. She glanced down to be sure Chloe hadn’t left any messy burps on her shoulders before she made her way back downstairs.
As she descended, she saw Sawyer fixing the newel post at the base of the staircase. She remembered how the knob had fallen off when she’d sneaked out a few nights ago. The night she’d nearly died.
She whispered as she hit the last step, “I owe that newel my life.”
Sawyer raised an eyebrow. “How so?”
“It’s what alerted the household to me sneaking outside. If it hadn’t fallen off, I wouldn’t have made such a clatter, and no one would have woken up. I might be dead now.”
Sawyer looked at the round wood piece in his hands with wide eyes. “This is what woke me up?” He lifted it off the post and gave it a quick kiss.
Naomi laughed and quickly covered her mouth so as not to wake the baby. But her laughter died when she heard the sound of a buggy’s wheels turning down the driveway outside.
Sawyer also put the forgotten newel back on its post to check out the screen door. “We have company. Quick, back upstairs and don’t come out until they’re gone. I’ll do my best to hurry them. If they ask for an invite to dinner, you won’t be able to come down. Understand?”
“Who is it?” Naomi asked and she leaned to see out the screen too.
“None of your concern. You only need to worry about staying alive, and that means staying out of sight. Now, go.” He pointed up the stairs and he picked up his tool and pushed open the screen.
Naomi’s last sight of him was his back as he stepped onto the porch to wait for the buggy to come to a complete stop. With a quick turn, she hurried up the stairs and to her room. Closing the door with a soft click, she raced to the window and stood off to the side, hoping for a glimpse of the visitor. A few moments later, she had her way, but jolted back against the wall when she saw who climbed down from the buggy.
“Mamm and Daed,” she whispered. Why were her parents here?
Through the open window, her father’s gruff voice drifted up from below. Instant tears pricked her eyes. For eight years, she’d thought she would never hear their voices again. She listened for her mother’s and closed her eyes when Maggie Kemp joined her husband, Daniel, in greeting Sawyer at the steps.
The front screen door opened, and Naomi heard Anna join them outside.
Naomi leaned close to the window and sought out a view of her parents. She could make out the top of her daed’s black brimmed hat and his shoulders, but from this view above, she couldn’t see his face. She leaned another way to try for something, anything. She just wanted to see them again, even from afar.
“We’ve gotten word that your visitor was shot and didn’t make it,” Daniel said solemnly, taking his hat off to hold in front of him.
Naomi inhaled sharply, delighted that she could see her father clearly now. She reached a hand down to him, wanting to touch his beard, now so much whiter than she remembered. He looked so much older.
How much have I missed?
The question swirled around in her mind, drowning out the conversation going on down below.
“Fannie told us it was her.” Maggie spoke with pain in her voice, pulling Naomi’s attention to her mother. She tried to piece the conversation together and listened intently.
“I’m sorry, but Fannie was never
told any such thing. She shouldn’t have bothered you with this,” Sawyer said. “She will need to be corrected. Anna will be sure to talk to her right away. Right, Anna?”
Anna spoke quickly. “I’ll talk to her today. I’m sorry she caused you both such pain.”
“So your visitor wasn’t Naomi? She wasn’t our daughter?” Daniel demanded brusquely.
At Sawyer’s hesitation, Maggie broke down into tears and Anna ran down the steps to comfort her. “Sawyer, do something,” she ordered her brother to put an end to this charade.
But the sheriff was adamant about no one knowing she was here and sticking with the story that the visitor died of a gunshot wound. To tell the Kemps the truth could put Naomi in immediate danger again. It could put them in danger if the shooter or shooters went after them to get to her. Naomi understood the risks of breaking her promise to Cassie, but she still opened her mouth to yell down to them. She wanted them to know she was alive. She wanted them to invite her back into their fold.
But that would never happen.
The truth stole the air from her lungs and the gumption she had a moment before to break her promise.
“I’m sorry, Daniel,” Sawyer said sadly. “All information will need to come from Sheriff Shaw.”
“Please,” Maggie cried. “Please just say yes or no, so we can finally mourn the loss of our daughter. Is she...dead?”
Sawyer spoke in a low tone that Naomi could barely hear. She leaned forward and turned an ear as he said, “All I can say, Maggie, is... You’ve already mourned the loss of your daughter. You don’t need to mourn her twice.”
Maggie continued to weep, and her husband wrapped an arm around her and led her back to the buggy. The two climbed aboard and silently departed with no goodbyes exchanged. As soon as the buggy disappeared from view, footsteps stomped up the inside staircase and the door to her room burst open.
A flushed Sawyer stood in the doorway, his heavy breathing lifting and dropping his shoulders rapidly. He lifted his arms, whether to invite her in to comfort her or out of anguish for what just happened below, she didn’t care. All Naomi wanted was to be held by them.
She left the window in a dash and barreled at him full force. Raising her arms, she wrapped them around his neck as though he was the only thing that would keep her from drowning in despair. His arms enveloped her securely and lifted her off the floor in a tight embrace. Her feet swung in the air.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the side of her head. He pushed his face against her ear. “I couldn’t lie, and I couldn’t tell the truth. I didn’t want to break the Commandment.”
“I wouldn’t want you to either,” she said frantically. She might have turned away from God, but to have Sawyer make such a break seemed all wrong. But everything felt wrong about today. Her parents should be beside her through all this. But that was impossible. “I wanted to yell down so much. I nearly did. But I knew nothing would change, and I could put them in danger too.”
“I wasn’t expecting them to come here. I didn’t know Fannie went to them. I should have thought of this. I should have prepared for them.”
Naomi shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I already hurt them. This is all my fault for ever bringing this pain on them in the first place.”
“You did nothing wrong.” Sawyer spoke against her ear, then pulled back and lowered her feet to the floor. He took her face into his hands and looked directly into her eyes. “You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? Nothing.”
“You keep saying things like this, but you don’t understand.” Naomi tried to avert her gaze, but he held her face still.
“Then tell me. You don’t think I can handle the truth, but I’m telling you I can. Trust me.”
Hope sprouted deep within her. Did she dare tell him her darkest secret? What the biggest mistake in her life led her to?
Naomi opened her mouth but quickly closed it, shutting in even one syllable of her secret. She couldn’t bear seeing the disgust on his face. She couldn’t handle him telling her, “I told you so.” It had been him who tried to convince her not to go to that party. He would have every right to say it.
“I—I...can’t.”
A crestfallen expression crossed his face. He couldn’t understand, but it was best he didn’t know. It was not his burden to carry. His beautiful blue eyes met hers. “When you’re ready, I’m here.”
“And if I’m never ready? Will you still be there for me?”
His silence told her he wouldn’t be able to have this between them forever. Eventually, he would walk away for good.
The sound of car tires crunching the gravel of the driveway reached up through the bedroom window and saved him from answering her. Sawyer dropped his hands to his sides and stepped around her for the window.
He visibly relaxed. “Just my partner. I’ve got some work to do in the barn with him.” He turned back to her and smiled at the sleeping baby as he did. “Will the two of you be all right up here while I work?”
“Of course, go.” Naomi stepped out of the way of the door to encourage him to leave. “You have a business to run. It can’t stop on my account.”
“It will stop if it comes between you and Chloe’s safety. No piece of furniture is worth a life.” Sawyer left the room and headed downstairs. She watched him from the window meet a man in a cowboy hat. Naomi did a double take at the hat, remembering the hat the first shooter had worn.
Could it be?
Naomi scoffed at the thought. This was horse country. Practically every household had a cowboy hat in it somewhere.
Still, she studied the man as he stepped from his car and shook Sawyer’s hand. They laughed about something and went into the barn side by side.
Sawyer had told her he had an English partner but seeing him with one so casually made her wonder if maybe he would consider leaving the Amish.
Another blossom of hope burst up from her midriff, and she wrapped an arm around the place jumping with butterflies. She couldn’t let the hope of a future with Sawyer take root. To ask such a thing of him would be wrong. It would be blasphemous. He was a baptized member of the church, sworn to uphold the Amish way of life and ordnung. She was cutoff and now an outsider.
Chloe stirred from her nap and let out a whimper. Naomi reached into the cradle and rubbed her tiny back as she woke up to being comforted by the closest thing to a mother she had.
“If I could be your mom, I would,” Naomi said, glancing out the window beyond the billowing curtains. “Just like if I could be his wife, I would.” She sighed and scooped up the baby into her arms. She kissed the smiling child on the nose. “But neither are possible, so for now, I’ll be a friend to you both...for however long that lasts.”
Naomi let the hope for that to be a long time take root, even though an uneasy feeling came over her. A dreaded feeling of danger loomed, threatening to cut her time with both Chloe and Sawyer short.
Maybe even permanently.
ELEVEN
“When you said things had been harrowing around here, I just thought you meant business was hopping,” Jim said from the desk and flashed his cracked tooth in a grin. He typed on the laptop as he pulled down this week’s online orders. “I had no idea you meant criminal. I’m sorry to hear you all have had to deal with such danger. I was shocked when I heard your guest was killed. That’s horrible. Any idea who shot her?”
Sawyer didn’t respond as he sanded the gun cabinet, doing what he did best while Jim did what he did best—computers.
Suddenly, it hit Sawyer. Maybe Jim could track down where Irving Adams lived. “No, but there is a man who might be involved. Perhaps you would know how to find him. His name is Irving Adams. I found him on a social media site, but I don’t have a home address for him. Somewhere in Louisville is all I know.”
“And you want my help?” Jim asked over the screen.
“It would mean a lot if you could help. You know I’m not supposed to be using technology. That’s why I brought you on with the business. But I understand this task is above and beyond your duties, so if you would rather not be involved—”
“No, not a problem. Of course I want to help you any way I can. Count me in. Anything to catch a killer, especially a killer of an Amish woman. That’s just shameful to go after a woman of such simple living. What kind of sick person would hurt such a soft-natured individual? I’m surprised she didn’t run away the first time he came after her.”
Sawyer frowned, thinking of Naomi’s first flight eight years ago. Had someone else hurt Naomi? Could that be what had made her run? He dropped his head and rubbed his forehead.
“Hey, Sawyer, I’m sorry about this Amish woman. She obviously meant something to you for you to be this upset.”
Sawyer lifted his gaze to his friend and partner, a bit stumped at Jim’s words. But he wasn’t far off. “A long time ago, yes, but not anymore.”
“So you knew her?”
Sawyer realized his slip instantly. No one was supposed to know it was Naomi Kemp who had come back.
Jim stood up with pleading hands outstretched, palms up. “Sorry, Sawyer. I didn’t mean to pry or put you on the spot. You can trust me not to say a thing to anyone. And of course, I will help you look into this Adams guy. You need something, you name it.”
“Thank you, Jim.” Sawyer relaxed. With his partner not knowing very many of the Amish in town, there really was no reason to be concerned that word would spread.
“When will the authorities release the woman’s name?” Jim asked.
Lying wasn’t possible for him, but Sawyer wondered how long he could go on saying he didn’t know anything before people called him out. Every time someone asked him a question, he sought for the simplest choice of words that wouldn’t lock him in to a bald-faced lie. “The truth will come out soon,” he said, careful not to sway in either direction, to remain indifferent. “It’s an ongoing investigation,” Sawyer said and went back to his work on the gun case. Please, Jim, just drop it, he silently pleaded as his sanding grew louder with each stroke. “I should have this done for you next week,” he said, attempting to change the subject.