by Aurora, Lexi
And, in these past few years that was what she’d been doing, hadn’t she? Hiding from the past; letting it devour her present and future, too, until she could hardly recognize the shell of herself that she’d become – baggy clothes and dire thoughts, staying in and staying safe.
Annie hadn’t noticed she’d been chewing the same Oreo for a good five straight minutes, until she swallowed it. She wiped away the pricks of tears in the corners of her eyes and exhaled.
Yes, she had been playing it safe for years now. But she was done with living that way.
Annie took out her phone, scanned through it, landed on Grayson’s number and dialed it. He didn’t pick up, of course – it was 3 am in the morning.
And so, Annie started talking and kept talking. She told him and told him some more. And then, she hung up.
DAYS PASSED, MORE OF the same blur. And, little by little, it occurred to her. Grayson wasn’t going to respond. She’d messed up. This was it.
Chapter 18: Grayson
“I have something to tell you.” Her voice was choked, tired-sounding, and yet, sure-sounding. “I don’t not know anymore. I do now. I know we want the same things, and I know why I was afraid. Your playboy past freaked me out, and my own past freaked me out, too. There’s so much you still don’t know about me; so much I want you to know about me. So much I want to do with you. So, yeah. I don’t know if this is too late. If I messed up not telling you when I had the chance. But... yeah. I hope I didn’t. I really, really hope I didn’t.”
“I just want you to know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone for an extremely long time. And it terrifies me. And I wish you were here now. But I understand if you’re fed up with me. But yeah, I wish you were here now.”
Grayson listened to the message three times, then saved it.
Talk about the turnaround of the century.
When she’d told him “I don’t know”; her voice wavering, hardly able to even look him in the eye, Grayson had figured that she had said it all. The “no” was in there, albeit in a different spelling. He’d figured that was it for them, for the only woman he’d ever had anything approaching real feelings for.
But then, she’d left him the voicemail message three days ago now, and still he hadn’t responded. Not because he ‘didn’t know’; of course he did. He knew now as much as he had then.
The only difference was now the actual implications of what they were saying was occurring to him. He lived in Vancouver. She lived in Toronto. A 41-hour drive, a 4-hour flight. Not commutable distances and not long-distance dating distances.
Then, there was the simple fact that he’d never had a relationship last more than a month, let alone a functional relationship. Annie had said it herself, too. There still was so much they didn’t know about each other. But he wanted to. Hell, he wanted to know every little sordid detail about her – from what kind of milk she took with her coffee to the dark-sounding past she’d hinted at in her voicemail.
Screwing this up was out of the question, too. In Grayson’s twenty-nine years, he’d never found anyone even remotely close to Annie. Likely, he wouldn’t anytime soon, if ever. He had to do this right.
Even from freaking Costa Rica, Kyle had returned Grayson’s Skype call. “Dude, you sound wrecked.”
“I am wrecked. I have a... problem, of sorts.”
“You and Annie are screwing, and you don’t know if you have feelings for her,” Kyle said, blithely.
Grayson gaped at him, and his friend cracked a grin. “You’re really surprised? Girls tell each other everything.” He shot Grayson a wounded glare, “Unlike shitty so-called ‘best friends.’”
“Listen,” Grayson protested. “I was going to tell you...”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now, you want advice, right?”
“Just... well, yeah. I mean, how did you know Kyla was the right one for you, and all that?”
Kyle nodded, something about his expression now reminding Grayson of a sage.
“Know, you must,” he said, in a Yoda voice, as Grayson cracked up. “But know, you will not. Until try, you do.”
“I was looking for something a little more...”
“Ok, it’s like this, alright? A bunch of books, TV shows, and articles are gonna tell you a bunch of stuff, and they might not be half bad, ok? But here’s how it is for me. It isn’t pretty butterflies and rainbows, but it’s real. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that when Kyla and I have had a bad fight, I haven’t doubted things, but... it’s all in seeing how I’m my best self with her.” Kyle’s voice changed; he was smiling now. “It’s about actually being able to see myself with her. Not ten minutes down the road, but even ten years, if you make me do one of those visualization thingies. We have our good days and we have our bad, but in the end, that’s what I want with her – more days, our days. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Grayson sighed, “Spoken like a true impossible-to-live-up-to Kyle.”
Kyle snorted, “I just told you that I’ve had doubts and that we fight.”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks anyway.”
“Good luck, man. You’ll need it.”
Grayson found that he was half-smiling as he reflected. Luck is the least I need.
THE NEXT DAY, HE DID it in a whirlwind. Went to work to request the transfer. Rushed to the airport to buy a ticket for the soonest flight to Toronto. Made the plane with five minutes to spare. Then, at 3 am, he was en route to Sunnybrook Hospital. He knew she worked the night shift on Wednesdays.
There, as the male nurse with the glasses leaned in way too close to the woman with the reddish-brown ponytail, Grayson had his answer.
This was Annie’s shift.
Chapter 19: Annie
“Really,” Annie whispered to Carlos, as he invaded her personal space. “I’d love to come next week to that potluck, but I... ah, have plans.”
She heard someone clearing his throat. Annie looked up and froze. Out of all the times to show up...
Grayson hoisted a bouquet of blue lilies at her, “Got this for you. But if you’re busy, I can go...”
“No,” Annie staggered his way, practically yelling the word. “No, please, I...”
She eyed his furious face meekly. Clearly, he’d seen the whole thing with stupid Carlos. The new-ish nurse had been trying to get with her since she’d gotten back from the wedding, but she thought he would’ve at least saved his flirting for the break room.
“Want to go to the cafeteria?” Annie asked.
“Sure,” he said, curtly.
As they walked there, he said nothing, although Annie’s brain hummed along enough for the both of them. With Grayson showing up like this, that could only mean one thing; he’d heard her voicemail and wanted to give it a try. Give them a try. Right?
And then, there was that bouquet – she’d mentioned that blue lilies were her favorite in passing, and he’d remembered.
But, after what he’d seen with Carlos, what if he’d finally had enough? Once she explained everything to him, he’d have to understand. Have to.
In the cafeteria, it wasn’t hard finding an empty spot – they were all empty.
“So,” Grayson said, as soon as they sat down. “You’re moving on already. Guess that message was bogus.”
“You didn’t respond anyway,” Annie shot back.
Grayson shoved the paper-wrapped bouquet at her, “Guess this isn’t a response.”
“This is five days later.”
“So I’m not allowed to have some time to think? How you did?”
“You don’t even understand the situation anyway,” Annie snapped.
“Oh yeah? Try me.”
Annie jabbed her finger back the way they’d come. “When you arrived, I was just telling Carlos that I couldn’t go with him to his potluck because I was busy.”
“Sure seemed close when doing so.”
Annie glared at him, “I’m tired, ok? And moody. So forgive me if I don’t become a Personal B
ubble Nazi every time some guy is close to me. Anyway, it’s not like I’m dating anyone anyway.”
“No, you’re not.”
Annie glared at him.
“Clearly, I’m the idiot here,” Grayson stood up. “Came all the way here to tell you I got reassigned to this frozen metropolis, only to find that you don’t give a damn anyway.”
Annie stood up, “Who said that?”
Grayson smoothed his shirt, not looking at her. “Actions speak louder than words.”
“Speaking of...” Annie was finding it hard to maintain her scowl with the way his words were rolling in her mind. “Did you actually get–”
“Reassigned, yeah. To see some girl. Take a chance,” his lips flattened. “Still not sure if it’s worth it, though.”
Annie crossed her arms across her chest. “Oh yeah? What would she have to do to make you sure?”
“For starters, tell me if she still meant what she said in that voicemail.”
Annie walked around the table, stood so her gaze leveled with his. “Every word.”
He nodded.
“What else?” she asked.
“Then, I’d want her to kiss me.”
Annie wasted no time in pressing her lips to his. In a soft voice, she asked, “And then?”
His fingers threaded through hers. “And then, I’d have to see if she’d come on a date with me.”
She was standing on tiptoe now, their lips a breath apart, “And if she agreed?”
“Then, I’d do this.”
And then he kissed her, and that was all the answer she needed. Present, future, whatever came, she knew. With Grayson by her side, together, they could face it.
And would.
Chapter 20: One Year Later - Grayson
“So, since you hate peaches, I decided...” Annie trailed off, holding out the peach pie with a grin as Kyla shrieked.
“You didn’t!” Her friend’s head went to her bulging belly, patterned with orange and pink sunflowers. “Ugh, I’m already so fat, and this pie going to make me even fatter!”
Kyle patted her, smiling blandly, “It’s called being pregnant, babe.”
Kyla smiled sweetly, patting his belly, “Let’s see you gain thirty pounds and try it out then.”
Kyle and Grayson took this as their cue to leave. Grayson gestured around at the purple garlanded ceiling, peach cupcakes, and pyramid of presents in the corner, all under the emblazoned sign ‘WELCOME BABY EMILY’! “You ever think this was going to happen to you?”
Kyle smirked. “You kidding? Hell no. I mean, purple is a dubious color at best.”
The pair cracked up at that. Kyle elbowed his friend. “And what about you? You ever expected...” he jerked his chin towards Annie, who was still chatting happily with Kyla.
“Oh definitely,” Grayson said in a falsetto voice. “I wanted it all. The wife, the 2.5 kids, the dog named Scamp...” he made a face. “Yeah, thought I’d be one of those eighty-year-old bachelors who’d have to pay escorts to make his day.”
He and Kyle chuckled darkly, while Kyle’s brows raised cheekily. “You know, there’s still time to back out.” He winked.
Annie took that very opportune moment to wander in. “You two look downright conspiratorial. What’re you talking about?”
Grayson slung his arm around her and squeezed. “Oh, you know. Just how you’re everything and anything I ever dreamed of.”
Annie snorted. “Sorry, I’ve got to be drunker for that.”
Kyle flickered his lashes at her, sending Grayson snickering. “This is a baby shower, need I remind you. If the mother can’t get shit-faced, then none of us can.”
Grayson lifted a Rickard’s Red that he’d brought along, “Here’s to that.”
Kyle made a mock-annoyed sigh, leaving to find Kyla.
Annie nudged him as they watched the couple giggling as they fed each other pie. Around them, there was a hive of activity as other people chatted, wandered, and ate from the spread of fruit, cheese, and crackers that were laid out on their kitchen counter, while Lop scampered along, barking jubilantly. But Kyla and Kyle only had eyes for each other.
“And to think,” Annie said to Grayson. “You were once against the whole thing.”
“I wasn’t against...” Grayson cracked a smile. “Ok, I totally was, but can you blame me? I was losing my other musketeer.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Although, in the meantime, I have, admittedly, gained something... altogether better.”
Annie dipped her hand onto his chest and whispered with a naughty grin, “A regular sex partner you don’t need to wear condoms with?”
Grayson made a scandalized face before cracking up. “No, a crazy-sexy fiancée who I’m marrying in half a year.”
Annie groaned, “Don’t remind me. We haven’t even started looking at venues.”
Grayson held up a finger. “I’m not finished though. I gained a crazy-sexy fiancée,” he cracked a mischievous grin, “and a regular sex partner I don’t need to wear condoms with.”
When Annie tried whacking him, he caught her hand mid-air. Catching each other’s eye, they burst out laughing.
“Speaking of,” Grayson whispered in her air, giving her a quick imperceptible bum squeeze. “What do you say to a post-baby shower party?”
Annie moved so she could bomp him with her butt, “I’d say... definitely.”
A FEW HOURS LATER, they had scarcely shut the front door before they were tearing off each other’s clothes.
“Wait,” Grayson said, suddenly.
His shirt was off, his pants half on, and his smile definitively devilish. “How about we make this the Baby-making Post-Baby Shower Party.”
Annie froze, her smile climbing up her face, “Are you saying...”
His smile was rueful. “A mini-me might not be the worst thing.”
Annie bumped him with her butt, “A mini-us.”
He shrugged, yanking down her skirt with one efficient tug. “Mini us, mini you, mini me. Whatever.”
“Wow, I’m so turned on now,” Annie said, her deep breathing turning into laughter.
“Yeah, yeah,” Grayson said. “Laugh all you want. But by the time I’m finished with you, you’re gonna be screaming.”
And that was when he swept her up in his arms. Kicking off his pants, he strode over to the living room couch and flung her onto it.
As he pinned Annie down, he paused to eye her, “So, what do you say?”
“To what?”
“Will you be my lover, my partner, my wife, the mother of my children?”
Annie sighed, “Grayson, are you really going to make me say it again?”
His briefs off now too, he edged into her entrance. Her bare pussy clasped at him desperately, furiously.
He smiled down at her as she squirmed.
“Fine,” she groaned. “I do, I do. I do. Please, Grayson. Just do it.”
And that was when he slid into her. Even after all this time, that first insertion was nothing short of electrifying. All of her drooped with it, as if she’d been waiting the whole day for it. Then, her inner walls clamped down on him, and he repeated the motion. This time, her pussy angled to meet him. In and out, a little bit to the left, a little bit to the right; their bodies flowed together in perfect sync.
By now, sex between them was seamless, two bodies perfectly in tune. Every part joined in the flow amidst the bellies and chests rubbing, the fingers clasping breasts, balls and faces. Mouths clamping down on lips, ears, breasts, shoulders. The all-encompassing rhythm and the overpowering thrusting set their bodies trembling together into one fused forward-arcing body. One more building upon itself.
Grayson knew just how to thrust into her as they kissed their way from one position to another. From missionary to doggy to cowgirl to criss-cross. All part of the dance in no particular order. All of it felt right based only on what felt so.
Grayson could hardly believe his luck. Hot and cool girls were like some endangered
species he had once thought didn’t exist. At least hot, cool girls that he had feelings for. But Annie was it. His it. His best friend and his partner in crime; the love of his life.
Ironic how as his mind rejoiced with the realization that he’d made it, so did his body start spasming. And hers. Theirs. And so, they came as one beautiful body. They died and were reborn again. Fused and trembling, Grayson knew it. Finally, fully. Without a doubt.
He stared into their blue ceiling but saw past it. He saw his future laid out as a perfect bridge from his perfect present. He and their little daughter, Emily, and his Annie, Annie Peters, who was soon to be Annie Malone.
His it. Now and forever. For five years, fifty years, all the years of his life.
Hell yeah.
THE END
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PREVIEW: The Real Deal by Lexi Aurora
The following two chapters are from Lexi Aurora’s book The Real Deal.
Chapter One
Betty Ingrid
"Hey! Hey, sweetheart! We could use some napkins over here, you know? There may be more grease on this burger than meat if you know what I'm saying."
“Frank! You don’t gotta be so rude to the poor little thing. She’s only trying to get her work done. Can’t you see that? I’d like to see you move that fast in this century.”
“Please, woman. I’m faster than you are. And I wouldn’t exactly call that girl little. Not in this century, to use your turn of phrase.”
Betty, who was indeed moving faster than the middle-aged man in booth twelve could currently or probably had ever moved in his life, clamped her teeth together tight. She kept her head down and went right on moving because really, what else could she do? There were people in this world who didn't have to put up with the kind of bullshit she dealt with day in and day out. She'd been told there were, at least, and it was something she sometimes even believed. Sometimes. The thing about it was, it hardly mattered whether it was true or not. That particular set of people might as well have been mythological creatures as far as she was concerned. That was how much influence they had on her life. Because in Betty's world, people had to put up with crap. People had to put up with a lot of crap and most of the time, it didn't stop when they clocked out and headed home. There were no cushy jobs, no fancy cars. There were no 401k’s, and little to no possibility of upward mobilization. Instead, there were double shifts for days, fourteen to sixteen hours at a pop. There were so many of those in a row that a person couldn't tell one day from another after a little while, and that "little while" was a frighteningly short amount of time. The hours normal people kept during a day were one of the first things to go. Living a crazy lifestyle came quickly after. When you didn't get off work until midnight, there were only so many things you could do to blow off some steam, and none of those things were great for the body or mind. The cycle started to fall into place far too easily after that, and before you knew it, you'd been stuck spinning your wheels in the same place for several years without even noticing how much time had gone by. There were people who didn't have to live that way, but Betty didn't know any of them personally. What she knew was the twenty-four-hour diner she worked in while she tried to make her way through the rest of school. She only had a year left but with the way she was feeling it might as well have been a century. Meanwhile, finals were barreling towards her like a mac truck, with her woefully unprepared. And here she was, getting yelled at for taking too long to bring a man his napkins while he made cracks at her figure. Things had looked better. She didn't mind admitting it.