by A'zayler
“I just don’t see how you can know all of my shit but won’t tell me any of yours. What part of the game is that?”
“It’s not game. That’s just not my life anymore, so I don’t like to go there.”
“You acting lame as fuck, but it’s cool. Keep your li’l business to yourself.” Yeshi sat back in the seat somewhat angry that she was being secretive. “You probably still fucking with the nigga and don’t want me to know anyway.”
“Yeshi, you’re being ridiculous.”
“Yeah, whatever. You think I didn’t notice you ain’t tell me that nigga’s name? Fuck it then. I don’t give a damn anyway.” Yeshi fumed before looking out of his window.
Yeshi hadn’t meant to allow himself to get as bothered as he was right then, but it had happened, and he wasn’t backing down from it. As much of his business as she knew, the least she could do was tell him about her li’l nigga.
“Yo, just take me to Killian’s house.”
“No.” Logan continued to drive.
“Take me to my nigga’s house.”
Logan looked over at him. “I said no!”
Yeshi nodded and just sat back in the seat. He wouldn’t even entertain her. If she wanted to be dumb, then so be it. Though the ride to her house was a smooth one, he felt his stomach getting upset again. His mouth watered as well, warning him of what would be next.
“Yo, pull over right quick.”
Logan shook her head and kept driving.
“Logan, for real, ma, pull over. I need a minute.”
It was hot, he was sweating, and there would definitely be some vomit coming soon. He hoped like hell he was somewhere he could release it without making too big of a mess.
“Logan…” He sat back holding his stomach with his eyes closed.
“You sick?”
“Yeah, pull over.”
Logan began to switch lanes, trying to get to the side of the street. The moment her car began to veer off to the side of the road, his throat contracted. Without even waiting for her to fully stop the car, Yeshi opened the door and stuck his head out. He was throwing up everywhere. It was disgusting and annoying as hell, to be honest. Every time he thought he was done, some more would come. By the time he really was done, he felt like he had no energy.
“I need some sleep.”
“We’re headed home.” She touched his leg as she drove.
“My ex was in a gang, and he used to rob people and do shootouts and stuff. I drove his car for him a few times when he did that.” Logan’s voice trembled, but she kept going. “I used to help him fight and a bunch of other stuff I shouldn’t have had any parts in.”
“No, the fuck you didn’t.” Yeshi couldn’t even smile like he wanted to. “I can’t even see you doing nothing like that.”
“Believe it.” She shrugged. “A lot of stuff happened, and we ended up separating. I found God, went off to school, and that was the end of us. He’s my brother’s best friend.”
“Damn,”
“I know, right.” Logan parked in the parking space at her house. “But, listen, I have to go to work in another hour. You want to drop me off so that you can have transportation in case you need to go somewhere?”
Yeshi thought about declining as he always did but nodded instead. He didn’t have anything planned, but he wouldn’t count himself completely out right then, especially with him feeling as sick as he did. If it didn’t get any better, he might even roll up to the emergency room to grab some medicine to ease his symptoms. It was crazy how easy it was for him to get hooked on liquor but felt damn near impossible for him to let it go. Something had to give with that shit before he went back to it. He didn’t want to, but he most definitely would and wouldn’t feel bad about it.
***
“It’s so good to see you, Logan. We’ve missed you around here,” Tia, one of The Knockout’s new trainers told her as she kneeled behind the desk reloading their staff refrigerator with water and Gatorade.
“I’ve only been gone for a few days.”
“Well, it felt like forever. You know I haven’t been here long. I didn’t know what to do.”
Tia and Logan laughed together while both handling their own personal staff duties for the day. Logan was going over the books and recording the new enrollment numbers while also holding the line for the high school coach who was due to bring his team in for training.
She’d been busy from the moment she stepped foot in the gym. Whether they really missed her or not, they surely did need her. None of the things that she normally did was right. Tia had filled in for her and had done the best she could, but Logan liked things done a certain way and hated to see it out of order. While she waited for the coach to answer the phone, she grabbed her cell phone from beneath the counter. There were two texts from Yeshi, and one from her brother just checking on her.
Yeshi: I don’t feel good. I think I’m going to the doctor.
Yeshi: Or do you think I should just ride it out?
Logan ran her hand through her hair while trying to decide what to tell him. He’d been doing so good without the drugs, but there was no harm in getting help if it was available. Yeshi had been a stickler for sobering out by himself with no help, but apparently, it was beginning to be too much. For him to bring up the medicine, he obviously needed it.
Logan: Go to the ER and get some meds
In the process of her waiting for his response, the coach answered. Logan busied herself with handling their reservations before ending their call to talk to Killian. He was leaning on the desk waiting for her to get off the phone.
“Yes, sir?”
“You got a minute to come to my office? We can go ahead and do the monthly shopping budget real quick while I don’t have any clients.”
“Sure, just give me a second.” Logan looked around the front desk to make sure she didn't forget anything before following Killian to the stairs. “Where’s East?”
“At home with Cali. I want her to spend as much time with her as she can before she has to go back home. I got a feeling her punk ass baby daddy will be starting some shit sooner or later.”
“That’s sweet. Why not just keep her?”
Killian stepped to the side and opened the door for her to walk in. “That’s my plan, but that’s his baby, so it’ll be more to do than just keep her here with us.”
“Well, I’ll be praying for y’all.”
“Appreciate that. How’s my boy? I know he’s been taking Katana’s death pretty hard.”
Logan looked off as she thought about the way Yeshi had been mourning. It was indeed saddening. “It’s like he refuses to acknowledge it. He doesn’t talk about her, her death, or anything regarding his past life. If I try to bring it up, he’ll ignore me or get angry, so I don’t.” Logan grabbed the large black chair and pushed it next to Kilian’s desk, so she could be next to him. “I think he needs to talk to somebody, though. Holding in that kind of pain can’t be easy.”
“Just let him be. Men handle things differently than women. Him not talking about it is him dealing with him. It may not look like it to you, but just let him do his thing.”
“It’s hard to do that when I’m watching him have nightmares, night sweats, the shakes, and a bunch of other stuff that’s torturing to him.”
Killian looked at her. “You been praying for him?”
“Of course.”
“Well, just keep doing that. He’ll be alright. He has to get that toxic shit out of him some kind of way.”
Logan nodded before they began to go through the books together. Checking their accounts wasn’t the easiest thing to do, and it always took them too long.
“You should have brought that nigga up here today so he could have done this shit.” Killian huffed. “He’s like a human calculator while me and you sitting here with our fingers and cellphones and shit.”
Logan burst out laughing. Killian was right. She’d noticed while being around Yeshi so much that he was extremely good
with numbers. His mind worked so fast that it was unbelievable. After watching him break down all his medical expenses one night while sitting on the bathroom counter, her mind had been blown. He’d done it so effortlessly. She’d been in love since. It had been so sexy to see how intelligent he was.
“Excuse me, Killian.” Tia’s voice came through the speaker of Killian’s desk phone.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Umm, is Logan up there with you?”
“Yes, ma’am. What you need, boo?” Logan answered that time.
“Umm, there’s someone here to see you. He said it’s important.” Tia paused. “You might want to hurry. He doesn’t look like… umm, I’m not sure, but he said he needs to see you or Killian. He only asked for Killian after I told him you were busy.”
Killian and Logan looked at each other before turning to look out of the large window in Killian’s office. Logan’s stomach dropped when she spotted Yeshi leaning on the counter in front of Tia. His long arms were stretched out in front of him as his palms rested on the counter. His head was down, so all she could see was the bright red daddy hat, but she’d recognize her baby anywhere. She was immediately out of her seat.
“She’s on the way down, Tia,” Logan heard Killian telling Tia before she felt him behind her.
They were both hopping down the stairs as quick as they could without falling. Logan was two notches under a run, trying to get to him. As soon as she got to him, she ducked under his arm and wedged her body between him and the counter. His entire body jumped, obviously startled by her sudden appearance.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Logan’s hand found the side of his face and held onto it.
Yeshi’s eyes squinted before closing again. His head was still hanging, but he’d taken a few steps so that he was close enough for his body to touch hers. He sighed upon contact.
“Yeshi, you okay, love?”
He shook his head with his eyes still closed. Logan surveyed his face as she wrapped her other hand around his waist. His forehead was sweating, and his skin was warm. The small droplets of moisture on his top lip disappeared when he ran his hand over his mouth before opening his eyes to look at her.
“I don’t know what to do,” he said low enough for only her to hear him.
“About what? Tell me, and I’ll decide for you.”
Yeshi’s head fell back before he swallowed hard. Logan watched his Adam’s apple slide up and down his neck before he took a few steps back so that he was leaning over once again. His arms were shaking, and she could hear him breathing. It was rough, almost as if he was trying to calm himself down. Logan’s hand immediately went to his back while she looked over at Killian.
He didn’t say anything; he just nodded toward his office. Logan nodded before leaning down some so that she could talk to Yeshi.
“Come on, Yeshi, let’s go upstairs for a minute, baby.”
When he nodded but didn’t move, Logan could tell he was in bad shape. Little did she know, he was in way worse shape than she’d thought. Not even a full minute after he’d stood to his feet and opened his eyes, he closed them right back.
“Are you dizzy?”
He was in the middle of shaking his head when he quickly jumped back. His hand over his mouth did nothing to stop the bile spewing from it. Vomit went all over the floor and the front of Logan’s clothes. Her eyes grew as wide as saucers as she rushed to him. He was doubled over, still throwing up.
“Jesus,” Logan said to herself.
“Tia, get somebody up here to clean this up for me,” Killian yelled over his shoulder as he kneeled next to Yeshi with a trashcan and some towels.
Yeshi turned just enough to finish throwing up in the trashcan. Logan stood next to him soaked in his smelly puke while rubbing his back and whispering to him.
“It’s okay, just get it all out.” Logan blinked rapidly, trying not to cry. “Have mercy, Lord.”
Killian was busy wiping the floor when Yeshi stood up, finally done. He was nothing more than a bucket of sweat and ragged breathing as he held his eyes closed with his head back.
“My fault, y’all.” He spoke in agony.
Logan felt so bad for him. He looked so embarrassed, and he too had vomit on his clothing. He’d only had his eyes open for a minute, but the amount of sorrow in them was enough to last the rest of the year.
“Don’t apologize. You good, bruh. This ain’t shit. People throw up in here all the time.”
Logan could tell Killian was doing his best to ease Yeshi’s discomfort. It was so sweet the way he loved Yeshi.
“Y’all go ahead to my office, Logan. I got this. It’s some clothes in my closet for him. If you don’t already have your own shit here, it’s some more uniforms in there that you should be able to fit.”
Logan nodded and grabbed Yeshi’s hand. The embarrassment was still there. He was walking slowly, and he held his head down the entire time. He didn’t raise his head or utter one word until they were in Killian’s bathroom. Yeshi was seated on the counter in his boxers while Logan stood in the middle of the floor in front of him and removed her clothes. When he didn’t ogle her nakedness, she knew he wasn’t there mentally.
“Yeshi.” She was standing between his legs in her panties with her hands resting on his thighs. “You don’t have to feel bad about this. It’s all a part of getting better.”
His head subtly shook.
“This is too much.”
“I know, but you’ve got this in the bag, baby. Don’t give up now.” Logan raised his head. “Open your eyes.”
“Nah,”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me, Yeshi.”
“I keep seeing shit.”
Logan frowned in confusion. “What do you mean?”
He cracked his eyes open for a minute and allowed them to circulate around the room. He did that a few times before finally making eye contact with her.
“I’ve been seeing little crazy shit all day.” He ran his hand over his face. “It’s stupid, but it was li’l weird looking shit trying to get me.”
“Aww, Yeshi.” Logan crooned before wrapping her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry.”
Yeshi sat slumped over in her arms, not saying or doing anything. Logan felt so sorry for him. Being a man in his predicament was obviously hard. There was no way possible for her to even fathom what must have been going through his mind right then.
“I just want to die, Logan. I’m tired of this shit.” He sniffed, and her heart broke. “Death has got to be easier than this shit.”
“That’s what the devil wants you to believe.”
“It’s looking really good to me right now.” Yeshi pushed Logan away so that he could see her face.
His eyes were still squinted, but she could see the moisture on them.
“I just threw up all over you in front of everybody at your job.” He dropped his head again. “I don’t even know why I came up here.”
“Because you needed me, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yes, it is! I don’t want to need you like that. The moment shit got weird, I ran my ass straight to you. You can’t save me from this shit.” He pushed off the counter and removed his boxers.
Logan watched him get into the small shower and closed the door behind him. She stood there for a minute to give him some space. While she was in the same spot, he pushed the door open and held his hand out to her. Logan took it and joined him. He pulled her to him and just held her. With nothing to really say to him, Logan remained quiet.
You’re his protection right now. You have to fight for him. His fight is more than alcohol; it’s a fight for his life. He doesn’t know it, but you do.
Logan sighed. It was when she least expected it that she always heard the voice of the Lord in her spirit.
You’re stronger than him.
In total agreement with what she felt she was hearing, Logan turned and grabbed Yeshi in a hug. He immediately picked her up and pressed her ba
ck against the wall.
“We getting married.”
Logan closed her eyes and continued to rub his back. “I’m ready when you are.”
Yeshi squeezed her tighter and secured her around his waist. “You’re too short. I needed you up here for a while.”
Logan snickered, and he roughly kissed the side of her face. He did that a few times before tucking his head in her neck and holding it there. Not at all sure what would come of her and Yeshi, Logan readied herself because it was clear that he wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon. Furthermore, she owed him and herself that. She’d had the chance to save someone before and had failed, so wouldn’t dare accept the same fate two times in a row.
4. I’m Back, and I’m Better
Two months later…
With sweat pouring down his head and face, Yeshi pushed himself and the bar harder.
“Fifty-one.”
Yeshi brought the bar back down once more across his chest and pushed it above his head again.
“Fifty-two.”
As he’d been doing for the past few minutes, Yeshi pushed the bar up and down above his head with the heavy weights weighing down each side of it. It had been so long since he’d had a real workout. He’d known for sure that he was going to tap out early, but thanks to Killian and the little KNOCKOUT uniform he required his female employees to wear, he’d had more motivation than he’d thought to ask for.
Logan was standing just above his head counting his reps and teasing him as she danced subtly to the music playing through the gym. Her thighs were thick and touching sexily in the black spandex while the royal blue shirt fit her stomach and breasts exquisitely. Killian obviously had Logan in mind when coming up with his work attire.
“Sixty!” Logan clapped giddily when Yeshi finally placed the bar in its rightful place.
He was in the process of sitting up when Logan rushed to him and took a seat on the bar behind him with him positioned between her thighs. Her arms were around his waist and resting on his bare skin. He’d long ago removed his shirt due to the excessive sweating. He could easily blame it on the gym and his strenuous workout, but the truth was, getting that alcohol out of his system was something else.