by Jean Joachim
Penny had worked hard, long sessions under hot lights in addition to attending school. Her social life took a backseat, as she had so little free time. When her dad was out of control, she had been ashamed to have friends over. Too often, she’d had to retrieve him from one bar or another when he was drunk. Being called away from a school dance or a party to corral her father was humiliating. It wasn’t long before she gave up having her own life.
Penny had counted the days until her eighteenth birthday. On that day, she had packed up and moved out, using the small bankroll she’d been able to squirrel away, hiding a few dollars here and a few dollars there from her old man. She had fled her home in Indiana and set down roots in sunny California.
Modeling and acting classes helped her land some commercials and print ads. She even won a plum job as a model for a clothing catalog. She saved every cent she could, rooming with others in small, cheap apartments. She had managed to get away from her father and covered her tracks, changing her name and never having a phone or apartment listed. But she looked over her shoulder constantly, wondering when he would resurface next, drunk and demanding money for rehab and living expenses.
It had been a hard life, but she had breathed free and began to make friends and go out on dates, until her father had tracked her down. He had been sick, so she had moved back in with him temporarily, unable to turn away her only living relative. He always promised to change, to get sober, earn a living, but he never did.
She stopped believing. The shame of his drunkenness never left Penny. She didn’t tell her friends about him. Instead, she said he was dead, saving herself from probing questions.
A strong desire for a storybook life, including a three-bedroom house with a small lawn and a white picket fence haunted her. Vivid, happy memories of her early years were locked in her heart. Often at night, she’d dream of a private and simple existence, having a man who adored her, children, and work she loved.
She searched for the one man she could rely on, the one who would fulfill her dreams, but he never materialized. Happiness had eluded Penny. As stunning as she was, she attracted the wrong kind of man. Secretly, she wondered if the shy man hanging back was the one who could make her feel loved, secure, and protected.
But those men were afraid to approach her, so she had never tested her theory. Brash men, seducers, shallow men, and users were the ones who pushed aside the sincere guys to get to her. They always broke her heart.
After many bad encounters, she grew wary, hiding her heart behind a protective wall, waiting to meet the one man who would understand. The one man who could pull her under his wing, care for her, and rescue her from pain. Still, she wasn’t sure that even the right man could earn her trust. Maybe I’m beyond the ability to trust a man?
Penny leaned against Mark’s car, wondering which group he fit into, hoping he was the one she sought. Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t see him approach. When he touched her shoulder, she jumped.
“Did I scare you?”
She nodded.
“Sorry. You looked so serious.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Thanks for coming and cheering me on. I swear I did better because you were here.”
She smiled at him. “It’s exciting to watch you. You were amazing.”
He blushed and looked down at his shoes. “Just what I do.”
She touched his arm. He seized the opportunity to draw her into his embrace. His strong hug eased her mind. The warmth of his body relaxed her muscles. Tension drained from her as she softened against him. He stroked her hair.
“Ready?”
“Let’s go.” She stepped back and moved around to the passenger side of the SUV.
“You like Italian food?” he asked.
“Love it.”
“Good. I’ve got the name of a place that’s supposed to be great, and it’s not far from the bowling alley.”
We’re really going bowling? Great! He’s not going to try to get me into bed after dinner? He might be a keeper. Don’t rush it, girl. Things have started out like this before. “We’re really going bowling?”
“Of course. What did you think?” He glanced over at her for a moment before directing his gaze back to the road.
“I…I…didn’t know what to think.”
“I’m pretty good, too.”
“Oh? Is that a challenge?” She tried not to smile.
“Are you up to it?” His eyes twinkled.
“Bring it on, baby.”
The Italian restaurant had not been fantastic, but what the food lacked was made up for by the company. Mark talked about how he had come to love football, his sister, and his plans for the future. Penny listened closely. She was thankful not to have to talk about herself, hide the truth of her past, and was captivated by the humor and seriousness of the young athlete.
“I have to tell you something,” he said, squirming slightly in his seat.
Oh, shit. He’s got a wife and two kids. The good ones are always married. She sat fidgeting with her napkin, fighting a sense of dread.
“I’m sure you’re used to rich guys taking you to fancy places. I make good money, but I have…uh…financial obligations,” he began.
“Are you married?” She couldn’t keep the note of irritation out of her voice.
He laughed. “Married? No way. Nope. I’m paying off our college loans, and I help support my mom.”
Relieved, Penny smiled at him. “That’s all?”
“Oh, and there’s Megan’s Master’s, too. Forgot that.”
Whew! He is a good guy, maybe. “That’s refreshing, Mark.”
“Refreshing to be in debt, to be poor? Well, not exactly poor, but not rich, by a long shot. Not like the starting guys.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. He grinned at her. “You’re wrong. I don’t go on fancy dates with rich men. I don’t date much at all.”
“You don’t? A gorgeous girl like you? Why not?”
“Too many men out for only one thing. Everyone wants to screw an actress then brag about it. I don’t want to end up in the tabloids and destroy my career.” Is he really a good guy, or is he just out for sex, like the rest? He keeps staring at my chest.
“Never thought about that.”
“I’ve already made enough bad choices for a lifetime.”
“I’m not like that.”
“No? But you’re attracted to me, right? I remember bumping into you in front of Jean Louis.” Time to put you to the test, Mr. Quarterback.
Mark blushed. “You remember that? Geez, thought I was the only one. Yeah, you made an impression on me.”
“An impression?”
“I was attracted to you right away.”
“A physical thing, though, because you didn’t know me.”
His color grew deeper. “Is that a crime? Guys always want to sleep with beautiful women. Doesn’t mean we act on it…all the time. I mean, I want to get to know you, and…”
Her eyes narrowed as she watched him stumble over his words. “Do you? Or is this about beating out Darvin Sweetwater? Am I a conquest? Would you brag to Sweetwater that you made it with me and he didn’t?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Mark shook his head.
“Really?” She watched him redden. Have I caught him? Revealed his true motive? Or is he tongue-tied for another reason? Penny wiped her mouth with her napkin and put it on the table. She picked up her purse. “I thought you were different. Wrong again.” She stood up.
Mark grabbed her arm. “Wait! Don’t go. Sit down. Can’t we talk about this?”
“What’s to talk about?”
“Give me a chance. Hey, come on.”
“Why should I waste my time?” She shrugged.
“Because I’m asking you to. Please?”
She sat down, and her lips formed a thin line. “Talk.”
“Yeah, I don’t know you. Guys pick girls by the way they look sometimes. Okay, most of the time. And yeah, it’s about sex
. That’s the way we’re wired. But that’s not all it is for me. I’m not into one-night stands.”
“Oh?” She arched an eyebrow. “And you wouldn’t sleep with me, if I offered?”
“Hell, yeah, of course I would. Do you want me to lie? But I wouldn’t disappear in the morning. If I liked you, and I do, I’d want to stick around.”
“For a convenient hook-up?” She arched her eyebrows. “Sex on demand?”
It was Mark’s turn to frown. “You’re twisting my words. Obviously, I’m guilty until proven innocent. Hey, if you don’t like men and don’t like sex, what’re we doing here? You’re right, this isn’t working. I misjudged you. I’ll take you home.”
“Wait, wait. Maybe I’ve been hasty.”
“It’s okay. I understand.” He pushed out his chair.
“I’m not a lesbian.”
“You don’t have to be a lesbian to hate sex. I’m just not interested in a forever-platonic relationship. No harm, no foul.” He raised his palm.
“I didn’t say that.”
“Didn’t you? You’re all up in my face because I have normal desires toward you.”
“It’s not that. Just that I’ve gone out with too many men who only wanted that.”
“Okay, point taken. I’ll get the check.”
“You’re not interested?”
“Not anymore. It’s okay. I’ve been on plenty of dates that didn’t work out. That’s why I’m single.” He motioned to the waiter.
Panic seized Penny. She’d never met anyone like Mark, and she liked him. More than she was ready to admit to herself. Now, she was losing him, or had she already lost him? Words failed her. This attractive man who made her feel safe was slipping through her fingers. I drove him away. Why did I do that? Why am I so defensive all the time?
Penny tried to rectify things, to put them back on an even keel, but Mark wasn’t listening. He’s already made up his mind that I’m a cold bitch. And I sounded like that, true. But I’m not. Please, Mark, give me another chance.
They drove home in silence. Penny searched her brain for the right words, but Mark didn’t respond. I hurt him. How can I fix this? She made small talk, and he replied with one word answers.
Mark walked her up to her door. She touched his shoulder, but he didn’t react. “No goodnight kiss?” It sounded feeble, even to Penny’s ears.
“What for?” Mark stepped back. “Thanks for your honesty. You’ve saved me a lot of time and money. And heartache.”
“Oh my God, Mark. Please. I’m sorry. I’ve misjudged you. Please give me another chance.”
“Why should I? You’re not interested in me. Maybe not in any man. Or some ideal of a man who isn’t interested in sex. Good luck with that. It’s been eye opening, Penny. I’m glad I met you. Good luck with your career.”
He leaned down, kissed her cheek, and was back behind the wheel before she could say or do anything. Tears burst through as she watched the car disappear into the night. What have I done? Ruined the best thing to come along in years.
Chapter Three
Mark returned to his apartment and flopped down on the bed. Shit! His bubble was burst. His dream woman had become a nightmare. Penny Thatcher is a cold, sex-hating bitch. Damn! Sadness filled his heart. He had already fallen half in love with her before their date. When he had rescued her from Darvin, she had seemed so sweet and vulnerable, funny and charming. But tonight, she had interrogated him, expecting the worst.
He was embarrassed to be so transparent about wanting to sleep with her. I guess all guys want to sleep with women who look like her. She thought he was an evil, fuck-and-run kind of guy, a guy who wanted to seduce and abandon her. But that wasn’t who he was. He wanted to fall in love with her, and now that would never happen.
How could I be so wrong about her? Did I think she was the sweet character she plays on TV and in the movies? Was I naïve, stupid? He wanted to get to know her—her favorite color, food hates, if she likes dogs or prefers cats—but tonight’s conversation had shut everything down. He was depressed. So, he called his sister.
“Hey, Squirt.”
“Hey, yourself. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. What makes you say that?”
“You always call me when you’re down. What happened?”
“Well, I had a date with Penny Thatcher tonight…”
“That chick from TV? Wow. Stepping up in the world.”
“That’s what I thought. But it was a disaster.” Mark went on to explain what happened. Megan did what she could to soothe his ruffled feathers, but he was still sad.
“Wait a week or two and call her. Maybe she was having a bad day.”
“Maybe it was her time…of the…you know.”
“Yeah, maybe. If you liked her that much, it’s doubtful you could be so wrong. Besides, you’ll be mooning over her forever, if you don’t find out for sure.”
“You’re probably right. Thanks, Squirt.”
“Anytime, Lug. Gotta go.”
“Hot date?”
“Are you kidding? Exam tomorrow.”
“Good luck, Meg.”
“You, too.” Mark hung up the phone.
He grabbed a beer and turned on the television, but nothing could distract him from Penny. Why couldn’t she be the girl I thought she was? He sucked down the brew and went to the window. Loneliness crept into his soul. He’d built Penny up to be the girl of his dreams, the one who would warm his bed and his heart forever. Now, he had to admit that was a pipedream.
Penny was flesh and blood, with good points and bad, like everyone else. No fairy princess. And the letdown was huge. He undressed and slipped into the sack, hoping she had deserted his dreams. He slept fitfully and woke up tired the next morning.
For the next two weeks, Mark threw himself into working out and practicing with the team. He turned his focus toward football and tried to forget about Penny. He even stopped watching her show. Harley bombarded him with questions about her, but Mark fended them off like he straight-armed opponents. He wasn’t going to talk about her.
Darvin Sweetwater asked about her, too, but Mark gave him the silent treatment. He dressed for the game against the Florida Falcons and loped out onto the field with his teammates. Harley leaned over and whispered to him.
“You broke up? Liar. She’s there. In the stands.”
Mark whipped around and searched for her. There, in a seat as near the family section as you could get without being family, was Penny Thatcher. She caught his eye and nodded. He nodded back. What the hell is she doing here?
Fortunately for Mark, the Falcons proved to be a good team, and he never got called to go into the game. His head wasn’t in it. After the last whistle, he showered and dressed quickly, ignoring the insults thrown at him by Sweetwater. When he came out, there was Penny, lounging against his car. His heart leapt up. Slow down. She’s not interested. Then, what’s she doing here?
Knowing he should be polite, but unable to control himself, he blurted out, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Penny straightened up and backed away, almost as if she had been slapped. Her face colored. “Nice to see you, too.”
“I asked you a question.” Don’t be such a hard ass. Give her a chance.
“I wanted to see you. Is that a crime?”
He noticed tears in the corners of her eyes. You idiot! Now, you’ve made her cry. “No crime. Just didn’t think you were interested in an oversexed guy like me.”
She laughed. “Are you oversexed?”
“Haven’t had any complaints from the ladies in that department.” He opened the door. Manners. What would Meg say? “Thanks for coming to the game and for stopping by to say hello.”
She grabbed his arm. “Wait. Can’t we go for a drink or something? Won’t you give me another chance?”
“Why? You had me pegged with no second chance. Why should I offer one to you? You made it pretty clear you’re not interested in a relationship that includes sex, and I am
. What’s to talk about?”
“That’s not true.”
“So, now you do want to sleep with me? Make up your mind.”
“Please. Can’t I buy you a drink? Do I have to beg?”
Her eyes were so sad, he melted. What are you doing? Being so cruel to this beautiful woman? Don’t punish her. Hear her out. You won’t be any worse off than you are now. “Why don’t you come over to my place? I have margarita mix, beer. We won’t be disturbed there. I promise not to touch you.”
“Sounds great. The privacy and margarita, not the no touching,” she said.
“Follow me. Then, you can leave whenever you want.”
“Thanks.”
Opening the door of his apartment, he silently thanked the woman who cleaned for him that she had picked up his dirty clothes and did the laundry.
“Surprisingly clean for a bachelor pad,” she said.
“Making judgments before I even mix the drinks?”
“You’re right. There I go again. I’m sorry.” The silence hung heavy as he made a margarita for her, grabbed a beer for himself, and opened a bag of pretzels. Penny sat on the sofa, and Mark purposely sat in a seat facing her. She wore a simple, feminine dress in a lavender print with short sleeves and a full skirt. When she leaned over a little, he got a great view.
Her eyes looked sad. Funny, he hadn’t noticed that before. Still, she looked so beautiful, he could hardly breathe. How can I still want her when I know what she is? Do I really know what she is? His gaze rested on the swell of her breasts then the curve of her hips. Her body was not skinny, but generous in the right places, and looking at her made his fingers itch.
“This is your show. I’m listening.” He leaned back in his chair, putting the bottle to his lips.
“It’s a long, complicated story, I’m afraid.”
“I’ve got time.” Try to keep an open mind. Penny took a big swig then began her tale. As she talked about her life, her father, and his alcoholism, Mark leaned forward, staring into her eyes. She’s telling the truth.
“My job on the show isn’t secure. I can be written out at any time. I’m not very good, and I’m sure they’ll be unloading me soon.”
“I don’t think so. I watch the show, and I think you’re great.”