All her life, she’d trained to be a certain type of woman—strong, independent, intelligent, and brave. She understood a lot of people would think throwing herself at a man she’d met only hours ago was weak and small minded. But it took a strong, insightful woman to know the difference between a one-night stand borne of insecurity and the makings of a bond with someone you could see yourself building a life with.
Her musings shoved her back into the present, and though she ached for Garrett, her reasoning told her to slow down, to assess the situation and not make decisions based on lust. She knew she felt more than that for him, but how did he actually feel toward her? She didn’t mind playful flirting and physical intimacy, but she needed to know the possible outcomes of the situation. Would this be a fling for him, or could they be starting something lasting?
Just as one hand slid under her shirt and over her belly, warm and rough, she grabbed his wrist to stop him. The kiss ended abruptly, but Garrett made no move to put her down. She cleared her throat and fought for clarity as she gazed into dangerously hot eyes. He looked different without his hat, but he was still incredibly sexy, and it was hard to form words in her current state while still wrapped around him with his scent and face so close to hers.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice a deep growl that made her shiver, hating herself for second-guessing her actions. Gently and slowly, so it didn’t feel like she was pulling away, she unwrapped her legs from his waist, and he worked with her to settle her on her feet, but he didn’t back up.
That actually suited her just fine. She could handle this with an inch between them, probably better than if he walked away like he was angry or rejecting her. “Nothing’s wrong, exactly,” she told him. She could tell it was going to be difficult to put into words. “You told me to ask for what I wanted, and I want you, Garrett. I’m not afraid to admit it.”
He searched her face, looking confused. “I thought we were past that discovery. It looks like the feeling is mutual.”
She gave him a long-suffering look. “There’s more to it than hormones, you know. At least, on my part, there’s more to it. But I’m flexible.” She saw the thought go through his head and held a finger to his lips. “Don’t even try to take that the wrong way.” She waited for a nod of confirmation before continuing. “I need to know what you want here. Do you just want one night? Is it a physical attraction and a fling for a while? Or are you looking further down the road than the time we’re already spending together on this manhunt?”
Garrett looked up, staring over her shoulder at some spot on the wall. She couldn’t tell if his expression meant he was irritated, disappointed, or just deep in thought. When he spoke, his words were halting, and she knew he searched for words just as she had. “I don’t have a plan in mind, Shakota. Every plan I’ve made has been twisted or slashed apart. I told you I never intended to settle down, not because I like to sow my oats, but because I just don’t have the time to build the kind of relationship I would want.”
He had said that, and Shakota considered it when she’d decided to make her play tonight. She’d told herself one night of pleasure in Garrett’s bed would be enough for her, but now, she wasn’t so sure. She also knew that wasn’t fair to him, since he’d been upfront and honest about his life and ideas. “I’m not trying to pressure you into marriage or even a big commitment. I’m just asking what you think the possibilities are between you and me.” She purposely didn’t say “us,” knowing better than to insinuate there was already a connection.
He took a deep breath and finally looked back down at her. “I see a lot of potential. It could go a lot of different directions, and each of those paths could be long or short.” With tender fingers, he brushed her hair back from her face and tucked it behind her ears. “I won’t make promises I can’t keep, though. I’m not that guy.”
That was one of the things she liked most about him. “I know that. I wouldn’t be here right now if you were that guy.”
Garrett gave her a small smile. “Why don’t we just take things slow and see where it leads? I don’t want to ignore something that could be good for me, but I don’t want to disappoint you, either.”
Frustrated, Shakota nodded. She didn’t want to take it slow. She wanted to run her fingertips over his bare body. She wanted to experience that magical moment when two people achieved the height of passion together and entered another plane of existence for the space of an instant. But she refused to demand anything of this man. After all, he had a lot on his plate, including a murder charge they were trying to clear.
“I can handle that,” she told him. As she said it, a foul odor struck her, and she sniffed the air in disgust. Turning to find out what offended her so greatly, she gasped and ducked under Garrett’s arm.
“Oh, hell!” she heard his curse as she turned off the stove and dumped the potatoes that were so black they looked more like dead coals into the sink, running water over them and in the pot before anything caught fire. Luckily, she’d never gotten the garlic bread in the oven, but...
Garrett had already thrown the oven open, reaching in with two mitts to pull out the meatloaf that was smoking and cracked from cooking too long. Shakota sidestepped out of the way, and the meatloaf landed in the potato water with a splash. He looked at her with consternation. “I guess we got a little carried away.”
Shakota snorted and laughed, and Garrett joined her. It lightened the atmosphere, and she felt a sense of relief. Scowling at him playfully, she said, “You were supposed to relax, not push your overly serious disposition onto me.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “I apologize for this disaster of an evening.”
“I wouldn’t call it a disaster,” she hedged playfully. “If you were a terrible kisser, that would be a disaster.”
“I take it that means I’m not,” he retorted, raising a brow.
“Definitely not, as in, sitting at the other end of the spectrum.” This conversation was not making it easy for her to “take it slow.”
He took two lazy strides toward her and leaned in. “You’re not so bad yourself. I would’ve kept going if you hadn’t stopped me.”
Another heat wave rolled through her body at his very direct statement. She bit her lip to keep from saying screw it and taking him to the bedroom.
As a consolation prize, he kissed her on the forehead. Then he stepped back and smirked. “You should feel special. I haven’t botched dinner like this since I was fourteen years old and tried to make broccoli chicken casserole. It was my mother’s birthday, and that was her favorite.”
It was such a sweet gesture, something she wouldn’t expect from a teenage boy. “I’m sure she appreciated the thought.”
He shrugged. “She would have, but the entire house smelled like burnt rice and cheese until I threw it out and sprayed the kitchen down with Lysol.” Taking a deep breath and reaching down to grab his hat, he continued, “Since I did ruin dinner, why don’t we drive into town and eat at the diner? I’m sure Lou’s got a thing or two she’d like to say to me about being accused of murder.”
Shakota didn’t like the idea of him being exposed to the judgment of every self-righteous individual in Courage, especially since he was very much an innocent man. “Are you sure? I bet I could whip something else up really fast here.”
He shook his head, looking around at the kitchen. “No, I need to get out of this kitchen before I level it. I hate losing food like this.” He reached for his keys. “I’ll drive.”
It struck Shakota as they pulled onto the bumpy road down the mountain that people were going to assume they were on a date, and she doubted Garrett wanted to correct them and say that he’d asked her to come help prove his innocence. “How are we going to explain our mutual attendance to dinner?”
He laughed heartily. “Now, that’s a phrase you should trademark and put on shirts. ‘It’s not a date, just a mutual dinner attendance.’ ”
She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, though, G
arrett. I’m sure you don’t want to show up with a new date in the middle of an investigation that puts you on blast, and I doubt you want to tell people the truth. So, what do you want to tell them?”
He glanced over at her, and she couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes. “Why do you think it would be a problem to call it a date?”
She didn’t think it was, but she’d assumed he would. “I guess I just thought you wouldn’t want to look so arrogant and careless about this whole investigation by flaunting your freedom or whatever. Besides, aren’t you the eternal bachelor? I don’t want to ruin your reputation or anything.”
Garrett scowled at her statement. “I don’t have a reputation like that. People know me as the quiet guy up on the mountain who likes to help people, knows how to work hard, and lost his parents too young. And as for flaunting my freedom, that’s exactly what I want to do. I’ve got nothing to hide, and that’s what they can put on blast.”
She liked his attitude. It solidified her determination to find Hoyt Brooks, no matter what it took. “If that’s the case, sweetheart, I can play it up for you.” She reached over and twirled the hair at the nape of his neck with one finger, and he smiled brightly. It was probably the most expressive he’d been in terms of happiness since she’d shown up that morning.
“Now you’re speaking my language,” he responded, suddenly looking like that mischievous teenager she would have assumed he was.
Chapter 12
The truth was, Garrett wasn’t so sure he was ready to be back in town. He’d planned to return only after he’d found the evidence he was looking for to show his innocence. He had every intention of shoving the truth up Leland Maynard’s ass, and anyone else’s who believed his insane ramblings.
But he felt like he owed Shakota something, and honestly, he thought she made him look good. The few women he’d dated had been pretty; he wasn’t shallow, but before he could consider building an emotional connection, he needed to have a physical attraction to the girl. But none of them held a candle to Shakota.
The diner was hopping with business, and he had to park down the street. When he opened the door of the Bronco, a frigid wind whipped around and tried to slam it back on him. He looked over at Shakota in her thin deerskin jacket. “Do you want my coat?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine, but thank you.”
“Are you sure you’ll be warm enough in that?” He gestured at the jacket.
She smiled in return. “Trust me, Garrett, I’ve spent nights outside in this weather without much more on. I think I can walk a block and a half without catching my death.”
He shrugged as she got out and came around to him, accepting her decision. Still, he put a hand on the small of her back, partly for show and partly to pull her closer so she caught the benefit of some of his warmth. Like a gentleman, he held the door for her and ushered her inside, and he searched for an empty booth or table, finally spotting one to the right that had just cleared off.
He guided her over the same way, scanning the crowd for faces he might not care to see. Leland wasn’t there, and that was a blessing. While the man didn’t scare him, Leland did make him feel violent, and Garrett didn’t need to give the man who was too big for his britches any excuse to toss him in the clink.
He took the jacket from Shakota’s shoulders and slung it neatly over the back of the booth on his side, tossing his, along with his black Stetson, in the corner as she slid into her side. But as he sat down, he locked eyes with Lucas Graham, sitting at the table beside them. He was with his sister, Chrissy, who Garrett barely recognized since she’d lost about fifty pounds, and he hoped the two of them being out together meant Lucas wouldn’t bring up any nasty business.
Lucas nodded to him hesitantly, as if testing the waters after Garrett’s temper tantrum. “Hey, Garrett, I didn’t expect to see you tonight.”
Garrett gave him a giant smile. “Well, I guess no one knows what to expect from me. Hi, Chrissy, you’re looking good these days,” he addressed her, making her blush before he turned back to Lucas. “How are things going for you?” He liked Lucas, but he’d go toe to toe with him on cryptic, biting comments tonight, if the guy decided to get personal.
“Things are good.” He motioned to Shakota. “I see you aren’t alone for a change.”
“No, I’m blessed with the company of Shakota Clearwater tonight. She’s in town for a few days. Shakota, this is my old friend, Lucas, and his sister, Chrissy. Lucas heads up the Search and Rescue around here.”
Shakota greeted the two of them with dainty handshakes and pleasant smiles. Chrissy addressed her first. “Where are you from, Shakota?”
“I’m part of the Crow Nation and live on the reservation. What about you? Are you from here?”
Picking at the salad in front of her as if it offended her, Chrissy giggled. “I am definitely a lifer. I had these big dreams about leaving, right about the same time your man there and Lucas and the whole crew were talking about moving to Billings or Helena. But I fell in love with another lifer, and he landed such a great job that I couldn’t in good conscience drag him away. And I’ve got family here, including Lucas, so it makes sense.”
Lucas cleared his throat, and Garrett waved it off. “It’s all right, bud. You can talk about family around me without me busting out in a rage and hurting someone.” He very pointedly made the reference, and Lucas sighed.
“Garrett, look, I...”
Garrett held up his hand. “I don’t want to talk about it tonight, Lucas. I have a beautiful woman here, and I would like for us to engage each other and have polite conversation without distractions.”
“Well, you came to the wrong place for that, honey,” Lou said as she walked up to their booth. She turned and looked at the other couple over her shoulder. “You guys need anything?” They both shook their heads, and she told them, “Good. Do me a favor and don’t harass another one of my favorite customers, okay?” She said it with a smile, but Garrett knew she meant it. Lou had far more miles on her than Garrett when it came to age, but she had a tremendous crush on him and wasn’t shy about it.
She turned back around beaming. “Hey, sugar, who’s this gorgeous girl you were lucky enough to talk into joining you tonight?” Feeling far more pleasant now, Garrett made the introductions, and Lou fussed over Shakota for a few minutes. He sat back and watched, agreeing with the older woman’s assessment of several of Shakota’s fine features. Finally, Lou said, “I suppose we should get down to business. You two know what you want to order yet?”
Shakota shook her head and gave an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry, I need a few minutes. I haven’t even looked at the menu yet. Maybe I should just get a Diet Coke for now.”
“Darling, let me help you out. Just order the special. It’s always better than everything else. Tonight, it’s chicken fried steak with homemade cream gravy, steak fries, corn on the cob, green beans, and cinnamon apples.” She stepped back as one of her runners brought out the usual basket of fresh-from-the-oven rolls and cornbread.
Shakota spread her hands. “I guess that’s what I’ll have. And it sounds big enough to pass some of it on to the big guy over here if I don’t finish it.”
She winked, and Garrett just laughed. “No, I think it’s better off going in a box. You can offer it to Diablo and make fast friends. But having said that, I’ll take the special, too, with sweet tea.” Lou nodded and headed off to put in the order. “I don’t know what she does to her tea here, but you’ll never find another glass of sweet tea anywhere better.”
“Now that sounds like an interesting challenge that would force you to do a lot of traveling. Find a list of the reported places with the best sweet tea, put together some standards with a point system so it looks all official, and then start your road trip around the country to visit each place and rate the tea.” Shakota seemed to enjoy creating the odd scenario, and her exuberance was contagious. Garrett couldn’t remember a time he’d come to the diner and felt alive. Usually
, he was here, laid back and just waiting for something—or nothing—to happen on a day when he was bored.
“Do you need a reason to travel?” he asked her. “Because the way I see it, jumping in the car and randomly choosing a spot on a map every few days could be a lot of fun.”
She gave him a surprised look. “I’m impressed! Look at you, talking about things like fun and spontaneity. I would have never imagined it.”
“Oh, really? Why don’t you just dig your nails into my chest and tear out my heart?” He chuckled, and when they both sobered, he asked, “Really, though, why do you need a reason to travel?”
This time, Shakota grew serious, and she picked at one of the rolls, taking tiny pieces into her mouth and nibbling them with her front teeth. It was adorable, but he could tell something about his question troubled her. “I’ve lived my entire life on the reservation, Garrett. I’ve come out to play now and then, and I understand American society as a whole just fine. But I love my culture, and I love my family. I don’t want to disappoint my mother, and I don’t want to leave my tribe. At the same time, I want more than what I’m offered on the reservation. I want a full life, with all its experiences. And the fist that holds us to our people, the urge to stay within the sheltered world they build, is strong. To travel with their blessing, you have to convince them of a good reason.” She shrugged. “I love this area, and even if I do decide to live off the reservation, I don’t think I’ll move far away.”
Garrett realized that that was the most she’d shared about herself since she’d appeared on his property that morning. And it was intensely personal. How long had she resented the overprotective crowding of her people? And was that part of the reason she was attracted to him? Was it the idea of finding someone outside the reservation and outside the culture to give her enough reason to leave?
Courage To Follow (Cowboys of Courage 1) Page 9