Charlotte and I stood and walked toward Eli and Quint. The wet ground made the jeans and tunic I’d been wearing for two days cling to my body.
“You’ll have to walk and talk,” Quint said, holding onto Talin’s reins. “I don’t want to stop the horses. It was tough for them to get the truck moving. Eli had to help push.”
“Did Nonie and Pops get everything they wanted? Did you get all of the food? Water? Weapons? Ammunition? Matches? Blankets?” Charlotte asked in rapid succession.
“No, and I think yes to everything else. Go talk to Mom. You can ask her,” Quint said, keeping a steady pace. Eli walked next to him, holding Fulton’s reins.
Charlotte hurried to the truck.
I walked beside Talin and petted her from time to time. We followed the dirt road back to the Pages’ house. No doubt this truck had come this way many times before, though never pulled by horses.
“Are you doing okay?” Quint asked, peering around Talin to look at me.
“I guess so,” I said, trying not to think.
“It’s a lot to deal with,” he said.
“Yeah, it is,” I said, leaning my head against Talin, partly for her support, partly to hide from Quint and Eli. I didn’t want to talk about anything. I wanted to sleep, but knew I couldn’t.
* * *
We came to the flat, wooden bridge that crossed the stream. JP saw us from his place at the fire. He ran to meet us. I could smell the turkey cooking. The smell of the rolls was intoxicating. I knew I would miss wheat the most. This would be our last real meal. From now on it would be a mixture of something we killed and something we grew, if the frost held out. Charlotte was the mother of five. She had a large pantry and there were lots of dry goods in it, but those would be saved for winter. I hoped the truck behind me also carried food. There were thirteen of us now, including Quinn and JP. Not to mention the horses and chickens. Gathering food for all of us would not be easy.
Quint and Eli led the horses toward the house. We passed Blaise, Josh, Sara, and East sitting at the fire pit, which had a large flat piece of metal arched over it. They’d made a sort of oven. They waved as we went by. I waved back, but had no desire to talk to anyone. I wanted only to be with Talin. Her calm presence soothed me. I needed her next to me.
Jonah and Quinn came out of the house. When Quinn saw her mom, she ran to her. Charlotte scooped her up and hugged her tightly against her. I understood why Charlotte was so adamant that her family be together. She loved deeply; she had much to lose.
Jonah took Fulton’s reins from Eli. He leaned his head against Fulton and rubbed his neck.
“Do you mind taking Talin?” Quint said as he handed me the reins.
He walked toward the truck where his parents rode. Charlotte was getting Pops’s collapsible wheelchair set up.
I rubbed Talin’s neck and looked at Jonah. He raised an eyebrow.
“We bonded,” I said, in answer to his unspoken question.
“I can tell,” he said loosening the belts around Fulton’s chest.
I did the same with Talin. She and I followed Jonah and Fulton to the barn.
“We need to take off their saddles and brush them down. Then they can run,” Jonah said, slipping the harness from Fulton and removing the bit from his mouth.
I tried to emulate what I saw him do, but I got the harness halfway up and it was stuck.
“Can you help me?” I asked. I stepped back as he walked toward Talin. He removed the harness, and the bit from Talin’s mouth. He stroked her gently between the eyes.
“I figured you knew how to do this,” he said, walking toward the wall.
“Talin’s the first horse I ever rode,” I said, watching him hang the harness on a wall hook.
“You seem so at ease. Most people are nervous around horses their first few times,” Jonah said, returning to Fulton’s side.
“She makes it easy. Anyone would be comfortable around her,” I said, shrugging.
“It doesn’t work that way,” he said, shaking his head. “Talin is a great horse, but she can’t make you comfortable around her. It’s a partnership. She gives and you give. It’s how it works. It’s a lot like human relationships in that way,” he said, looking at me with that same trying to figure something out look he had when we first met.
I felt heat rise to my cheeks. I moved to Talin’s side, pretending to be looking at the saddle, hoping he hadn’t seen me blush. I didn’t know why I had. Yes, he was cute, but lots of guys were. Trent is cute. Had I blushed when he was trying to win me? I couldn’t remember. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
“Watch me take Fulton’s saddle off. Then you can try and do Talin’s,” he said as he unbuckled Fulton’s saddle. Jonah lifted it and a large blanket from Fulton’s back. He carried both into a small room that divided one side of the barn.
I walked to Talin’s side, where a large buckle lay against a blanket. I pulled it tight to loosen it. She didn’t move. The strap fell loose, swinging in the air. I pulled the saddle off Talin. I strained under its weight and took a step backward. Jonah caught me inches before my butt hit the ground. He lifted me to my feet.
“Here, I can get it,” he said, his hands brushing mine as he tried to take the saddle and blanket from me.
“No, I got it. I was just caught off guard. Show me where to put it,” I said, trying not to be embarrassed, trying to be indifferent to the closeness of our bodies. I failed in both attempts.
Jonah straightened and turned, walking toward the room. I followed, doing what I could to slow my heart rate.
“This is where Talin’s saddle and blanket go,” he said, pointing to a small stand next to Fulton’s saddle.
I placed Talin’s saddle on the stand and said, “This is a nice little room.” Once the words were out, I realized how stupid they sounded. I wanted to talk to Jonah, but I had no idea what to say.
“It’s called the tack room,” he said, picking up two large brushes from a shelf. “Do you want to brush her down?” he asked, handing me a brush.
I took the brush and followed him back to the horses.
I copied what he did.
“How did things go at my grandparents’?” he asked.
“Fine, I guess. Your mom and I were separated from the rest of them, so I don’t know what was said. But Nonie and Pops came without a fight,” I said, trying to keep my mind in the present.
“They can be tough to persuade at times,” he said, shaking his head. “Actually, they can be stubborn to an annoying degree most of the time.”
“I got that feeling,” I said, watching dust fall from Talin’s coat with each brush stroke.
“What were you and my mom doing?” he asked, now brushing Fulton’s mane.
“Talking,” I said, not willing to say more than that.
Jonah nodded as if he understood that he was not to ask a follow-up question.
He stopped brushing and patted Fulton.
“You two can go run,” he said, looking at them. They each turned and ran in the direction of the stream.
He reached out his hand to me. I hesitated. Did he want to hold my hand?
“Can I have your brush? I’ll put it away,” he said.
I handed it to him, feeling foolish. He took both brushes to the tack room. I stood, not knowing what to do. I understood now why Sara was constantly trying to be with him. Something about him drew me in.
“I think the food is almost ready. It’s been cooking all day,” Jonah said, coming out of the tack room and heading to the open barn door.
I walked beside him, growing hungrier by the moment.
“Who’s that?” I said, pointing to a man and a dog emerging from the tree line on the west side of the property.
Jonah stiffened. I stopped in my tracks when I recognized the dog.
“It’s Mick Jacobson and his dog. Neither is welcome here and both know it,” Jonah said, leaving me behind and moving at a swift pace toward them.
East stood from her place at
the fire and walked toward Mick. His chin-length black hair looked uneven and knotted. The pistol on his hip reflected the sunlight. Quint walked toward his daughter, his hand resting on the pistol on his belt. Eli followed his dad, and Charlotte held JP and Quinn against her body, where they stood by Nonie and Pops. JP struggled to break free from his mother, but her grip was tight and he soon stopped fighting.
Jonah strode past the fire to join his sister, father, and brother. Sara, Blaise, and Josh stood up, but did not leave their places by the fire. I joined them, standing beside Sara. We looked at one another but did not speak. The tension seemed to encompass the entire property.
Mick and his dog were still fifty yards away, but the dog started forward.
“Call him off,” Quint commanded, his pistol aimed at the dog. Quint showed no sign of hesitation.
Mick spat the words, “Wrath, back,” while his hand moved to his gun. The dog stopped running. Instead, he paced back and forth at an invisible line, much like he’d done at the no longer existent fence.
“What are you doing here?” Quint said, lowering his pistol only slightly.
“I wanted to check on you and your family. Make sure you were okay. Didn’t realize everyone would be here, and some extras. Real colorful group y’all got here,” Mick said, looking first at where Nonie and Pops were and then at my friends and me. I could see the smirk on his face, even from where I stood.
Eli said, “You smelled the food. You came to take it. You didn’t realize how many of us there would be.”
“Thanks for the benefit of the doubt, Father,” Mick said. “That’s real Christian of you. And nice to see you too, East. Been a long time.” A wry smile came across his lips as he eyed her up and down.
Jonah lunged, but East and Eli held him back. Wrath started forward again, and Quint fired a shot at the dog’s feet.
“Easy, Quint. You wouldn’t want to have to go to confession.” Mick laughed.
“Please do not doubt my words,” Quint said. He held the pistol firmly in his right hand, no longer aimed at Wrath but at Mick’s head. “The next time that dog is within a hundred yards of any member of my family, it will be killed. The same goes for you. Get off my land.”
“I was hoping we could put our differences behind us, now that things have changed,” Mick said, his sarcastic tone gone.
“Our differences?” Quint’s voice shook with anger.
“It’s been years. Let it go,” Mick said, his tone irritated.
Jonah lunged, and Eli pushed him back. East did not. Quint raised his other hand so that both were holding the pistol aimed at Mick. He said nothing.
“You’ll be sorry,” Mick said.
“The next time I see you on my property, I will kill you,” Quint said, his hatred clear.
Mick laughed before turning and striding back toward the trees. Wrath followed, pivoting every few yards to growl and bare his teeth.
“What was that about?” Sara whispered.
I shook my head, feeling scared and confused.
“I think Quint meant it. I think he will kill that man the next time he sees him,” Blaise whispered.
Josh nodded.
* * *
East walked to her mother and took Quinn from her arms. She went inside, her grandmother close behind.
Quint put the gun back between his belt and jeans, his hands shaking as he did so. I couldn’t help but wonder if they shook from fear or rage.
“You should have shot him,” Jonah said. His eyes continued to watch the trees where Mick and Wrath had disappeared.
“It’s not his place to kill,” Eli said. “Regardless of how vile of a human being he is; it is not our decision when he dies.”
Jonah’s anger shifted to Eli. “You are such a priest. It’s like you don’t even care what he did.”
“You’re right. I am a priest and proud of it. But if you think there are not times when I personally want to smash his head in with a shovel, you’re wrong. I want him to die and I want him to writhe in pain as he does. But then I catch myself. I—we are called to forgive, if not for his benefit, then for our own. When he dies is not up to me. All human life is sacred. I believe that, not because it is convenient or easy, but because it is what our Lord tells us,” Eli answered, his own face red with emotion.
What had this man done? Eli, who was so calm, so filled with peace, hated this man. Hate was something I was sure was against his religion, a religion he was obviously committed to.
Jonah walked away. I did not have the courage to look at him as he passed us on his way to the barn. His anger scared me. If it were up to him, a man would be dead a few yards from where I stood.
Charlotte released JP. He ran out to join his father and his brother. She disappeared into the house. Pops was trying to wheel his chair, but it was stuck in the loose earth. I went to him.
“Can I help you?” I asked.
“It’s okay, I don’t even know where I’m trying to go. The women don’t want me inside. It’s best to leave Jonah alone. Eli is calming Quint down. So I’m not sure where to go, but I don’t want to sit here,” Pops said, sounding as though he doubted his usefulness.
“Can I take you to the fire? My friends and I could use help with the cooking,” I said.
“That would be good. Then I could warm up a bit. It’s getting colder every day,” he said, rubbing his hands together.
“I know,” I said, pushing him toward the fire. “That worries me.”
“Don’t tell my kids, but it worries me too,” Pops said.
* * *
Quint went inside, and Eli and JP eventually joined us by the fire.
“Why do we all hate Mick so much?” JP asked.
I felt wrong for being present when that question was asked. It had to do with their family; I had no right to know the answer.
“Because he has done some really bad things,” Eli answered, looking at his brother.
“Yes, but why do we hate him? What has he done to us?” JP asked.
“John Paul,” Eli answered, “you must decide for yourself who you hate. No one decides that for you, and I would encourage you not to hate. Hate destroys the person who hates. It is not how God wants us to live.” He was watching the flames fight for their freedom before returning to the burning wood.
“You really are a priest,” Josh said, almost as if the thought escaped his lips before he realized it.
“I really am,” Eli said, his voice lighter.
“So you’ll never marry or date or anything?” Sara asked. She seemed genuinely confused by the concept.
“Not if he’s sticking to his vows,” Pops teased.
“How do you do that?” Josh asked.
“It’s my vocation, my calling. At times it can be challenging, but most of the time I experience an overwhelming sense of joy at giving myself freely and completely to God,” he said. The joy he spoke of was evident.
Pops looked at me as he spoke. “Eli was called at a young age. He felt his heart stir toward the priesthood when he was eight. The first person he told of his calling was Holt. He encouraged Eli to listen and be open to the possibility that he was being called to the priesthood.”
I looked at my friends, not knowing what to say. I was confused. Why would a militant atheist encourage an eight-year-old kid to be a priest?
“Holt? Bria’s dad, Holt?” Blaise asked.
Eli and Pops nodded.
“He is my godfather and he was very involved in my early religious formation. He was also my best friend,” Eli said with great emotion.
I felt anger rise and tears sting the back of my eyes. How could a man who hated God and felt all people who believed in God were fools have been his godfather? How could this man who never showed any interest in me have been his best friend? Why did my father hate me? Why did he give me nothing of who he actually was? Why did he lie to me time after time? Every word he spoke was a lie.
I stood and walked away. I didn’t know where I was going. I
saw Talin in the distance and went toward her. When I finally reached her she was standing behind the barn. I flung my arms around her neck, buried my face, and cried. My knees became weak and my grip around her neck tightened. She did not move. She stood strong while I was weak.
“Are you okay?” His voice sounded far away.
Talin nudged me with her head. I let go of her.
Jonah stood beside me. I knew I should feel embarrassed, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. My entire life had been a lie. I had no energy left to care what this man thought of me.
“No,” I said, biting the inside of my cheeks to keep from crying.
He sat on a bale of hay. “Want to sit down for a minute?” he asked.
His voice sounded different. Had he been crying? I’d never seen a man cry before. I wondered what’d brought Jonah to tears. What had Mick Jacobson done to this family?
I sat on the far end of the straw and leaned my back against the barn. Talin wandered a few feet away and ate some nearby weeds.
“This day sucks,” I said.
“Yep,” he said.
After some silence, he spoke. “Why has it sucked for you?”
“Everything my father ever told me was a lie.”
“That would suck,” he said, nodding.
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
“Well, it would. I remember your dad a little. I was five when you two disappeared. He was a nice guy back then, but it sounds like he changed. I guess losing your wife and son in one day, a day that was supposed to be joyous, can do that to a person.” He had leaned against the barn as he spoke.
“My father told me my mom died in a fire. That our house had burned down. It wasn’t until your grandmother said something about my brother earlier today, that I remembered how she had really died or that I had a brother,” I said, exhausted.
Jonah turned his head to look at me. “I’m sorry. That’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to change a person’s memories,” he said.
“Why did he do it?” I asked, feeling the tears start to build.
“I don’t know,” he said, looking at the ground. “I wish I had answers for you. You deserve answers.”
The Light: Who do you become when the world falls away? (New Dawn Book 1) Page 7